~* A Cruel Angel's Thesis *~
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by Mistress Triumph
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Everything on this planet is an accomplishment. Humankind, the most advanced life forms on this great blue orb, create these accomplishments. Everyday, another is achieved. Every hour, another step is taken.
The perfect life scenario. This is what humans strive for:
A mother gives birth,
An infant takes it's first breaths,
That baby's first step,
That child's first song,
That young individual finds out what it means to hate,
That same person finds out what it means to love.
Perfect. The exquisite scenario of what humans believe to be life. In their eyes everything should be flawless, and it is not themselves, but fate that tangles their web of perfection, not their own flaws. In reality, however, this is false. This exquisite scenario is nonexistent, because all mankind makes mistakes. They are all imperfect, though it is few who realize this.
This, about humanity, I can never grasp. The fact that they blame each other for their errors instead of themselves, how they can always find an excuse for their own blunders,
how they do not accept their erratum as their own…
It is something I just cannot comprehend
Yet, despite all who follow the path of falsehood and reproach, some humans do accept what they have done, if not without a struggle. Some do, in fact, realize not one but all of their flaws, and work to rectify them. This, I can admire, especially in one wounded to the very center of his being. Even a creature as helpless as that can find where he is wrong, and strive to go along the right path. This, I can not only admire, I can respect.
I can even… love.
Yes, that is an accomplishment of the human race. Love. Such a rare thing, although many believe to have acquired it. Most of them haven't, and more never will. Love is something that belongs to only those who have never known perfection, those have been wounded at another's hands, those who fear, and want, and starve.
I have met but one of them.
This creature baffled me, captured me unwillingly, and I too captured him. The path he chose after our tryst was not the one he wanted, but it was for the best.
I can only hope I have his forgiveness now. Now that we are so far apart.
All in all, humans don't now what they want until that which they want is gone. They are marvelous, trying beasts who only wish to live life to the fullest.
Or allow a life to be lived by another.
Nothing is perfect. I certainly am not. I have caused anguish, grief, and confusion. Yet, I can not regret. I put my beloved through the very depths of hell, and I still can not regret.
For no 'angel' has ever been born with the ability to regret within their hearts.
Shinji…
…ai shiteiru…
Because of you, my life had meaning.
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2050 AD
The proceeding directive was found within the boundaries of the old Nerv headquarters upon the facility's destruction.
Writer: unknown, presumed dead.
Date written: approximately 2015 AD