The Best Ferret Ever!
Chapter 4
Saiyan Princess
Hi! I don't own anything in any of these chapters. I don't make any money from
writing this. Actually, I don't make any money from writing anything because
they don't pay you for rejection letters. Sigh. If they did, I'd be rich!
I really do like Ron, so don't get mad at me, Ron fanatics. He's my favorite
character after Snape. ^_^ Odd combination...oh well! Enough blabbering, on
with "The Best Ferret Ever!"
P.S - I don't own any ferrets. I have a horse, three cats, a frog, six fish,
a hermit crab, and a guinea pig, but no ferrets. I think they may be illegal
where I live, like hedgehogs. Anyway, I hope my lack of ferret experience isn't
too noticeable and offensive to all the ferret owners out there.
I'm really done now.
"Professor, does Malfoy count as a person?" asked Crabbe.
"What on Earth do you mean?"
"We need to go to the bathroom, but you said we could only go around campus in
groups of four. There are three of us and Malfoy. Is that four?"
"It's fine," Snape replied.
The four students made their way down the hall, three on two feet each, one
on four.
They passed George and Fred on the way.
"Hey, Malfoy, get Snape to shrink a rider and you're all set for the 2004
Equestrian Olympic Team!" called out George, referring to the "polo wraps"
on Draco's legs.
Draco pinned back his ears and kept walking. He wanted to yell out some insult
concerning the twins' economic status, but couldn't. On the way back from the
bathroom they passed yet another impoverished redhead, Ron, along with Harry.
This was the first time Draco had been seen up and about Hogwarts, and Ron just
couldn't resist.
"Behind you, Malferret! It's Fang!" he yelled.
Draco hissed angrily, causing Ron to laugh. Seconds later, however, he was
screaming. Draco had attached himself to Ron's ankle. Ron yelled and swore and
hopped around, kicking all the while. But Draco was angry and kept his teeth
and claws firmly planted in Ron's flesh. After a minute, Draco released his
prey and quickly dodged Ron's foot to rejoin the safety of his friends.
Students were laughing. The redhead was seething now. He approached Draco,
but the ferret held his ground. When Ron reached for him he hissed, showing
off his sharp teeth.
"You horrible little rodent, I'll teach you to--"
Ron was interrupted as Draco lunged at his hand. The boy stared at the ferret
for a few moments, then backed down, walking away and mumbling threats.
The Slytherins cheered for Draco and taunted the intimidated Ron as he left.
Later that day Draco was resting in Snape's office after an attack.
"Don't worry," Snape told him. "You'll feel much better next week."
He was down to one mild attack in the day, and one in the evening. Snape and
Madam Pomfrey agreed that once Draco went an entire day without problems, he
could start going to his classes again. In the meantime, other Slytherins
were taking notes for him and going over them with Draco in the evening.
Snape was grading essays. For a few minutes, Draco listened to the sounds of
the quill on the parchment and tried to guess what grade was being written
down, then lifted his head to check. C's were easy, and he was becoming
fairly accurate, but Snape told him to rest. Draco was just about to doze off
when the door to Snape's office exploded open.
"Where's my BABY?" a woman's voice screeched.
The Malfoys had arrived. Mrs. Malfoy ran to Snape's desk and scooped up her
son.
"Careful with him," admonished Snape irritably. "He just had an attack."
Mrs. Malfoy gently rocked the white ferret. Mr. Malfoy entered and stared at
his son, gaping. Finally, he could speak.
"How is he?"
"He's doing well. He's having fewer attacks now. In a few days he'll be fine."
"Why are his legs bandaged?" cried Mrs. Malfoy.
"Doloris primarily targets limbs and the chest. The wraps help him walk more
comfortably."
Dumbledore entered. Mr. Malfoy's face turned red.
"You!" he yelled. "How could you allow this to happen?"
"Don't worry," said Dumbledore calmly. "An investigation is now taking place."
"Do you have any leads?" demanded Draco's father.
"We are not allowed to discuss suspects yet."
Mr. Malfoy's face became even more red, incredibly so. He began yelling at
Dumbledore who remained very calm. Mrs. Malfoy wept, cuddling the ferret.
Usually, Draco would have loved seeing his father rant at "Bumblebore," but
he was tired, even groggy now, and his sobbing mother was getting his fur all
wet with her tears while managing to bump every one of Draco's tender legs.
He turned his head towards Snape with desperation in his eyes. Please help me,
his eyes begged, this woman's a pain.
"Your son needs rest," Snape said suddenly.
The yelling and crying stopped for a moment.
"He just had an attack fifteen minutes ago. He should be sleeping. It will
help him recover faster."
"But he needs us now," protested Mrs. Malfoy. "How could sleeping now help?
Can't he sleep a little later?"
"I have the study right there," Snape told her, indicating a file cabinet.
"But...I rarely see him," Draco's mother argued, holding the ferret closer.
Draco squeaked as her arm pinched one of his hind legs.
"What did I do?" she asked in alarm.
"You hurt him. Be careful of his legs. Just give him an hour of rest. You'll
be done talking with the headmaster by then," pressured Snape.
Mrs. Malfoy reluctantly handed her son over to Snape, still hurting his legs.
Draco made sure she realized this by squealing angrily until Snape had him
and was holding him properly. He was placed in his box, which he loved very
much. If there was one thing he was going to miss when he could be turned
back into a human, it would be his comfy, secure box.
"Why don't we go up to my office?" suggested Dumbledore.
The Malfoys followed the old wizard out of the room, and Draco drifted off to
sleep, listening to Snape's writing quill mark C's, D's, and F's on the
Gryffindors' essays, and later move on to the B's and A's that signaled the
Slytherins' essays were being graded.
The Malfoys ended up leaving in a huff, promising to get rid of Dumbledore if
the guilty one was not found soon. By the time Mrs. Malfoy had finished
sobbing her goodbye, Draco was not at all sorry to see them leave. His mother
had suggested that he come live with them until he could be human again.
"We could get you a little satin pillow," his mother had suggested. "And a
jeweled collar. Wouldn't that be precious?"
Snow still hadn't come, so he and a group of Slytherins wandered outside.
A couple of first-year Gryffindors passed them.
"It's Malferret," one whispered.
"You idiot," the other whispered back. "He ripped up Ron Weasley's foot and
nearly took off his finger."
"That's a lie."
"No, it's not. I heard it from a Hufflepuff third-year."
If ferrets could smirk, Draco would have. Even students who would never ever
root for Slytherin, the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, had been making fun of
Ron that day. Not even the Gryffindors spared Ron, especially his brothers,
who kept jumping out at him from behind corners and yelling, "Ron! A ferret!
Run!" Draco knew he had to keep an eye out for George and Fred Weasley. They
disliked him, and loved practical jokes. Now being a ferret, he was at a
dangerous disadvantage.
"Draco, you look worried," Pansy commented.
Using his claws, he scratched, "W twins might make probs."
"Don't worry about them," Pansy reassured. "They wouldn't dare do anything to
you. We Slytherins are hanging out together more than ever now. They couldn't
do anything with us all in a big group."
"It's not fair!" growled Ron, cleaning the cuts on his ankle. "He's a ferret.
A FERRET, for crying out loud, and he still gets to pick on me!"
Harry cleared his throat. Ron had actually been the aggressor, but he wasn't
sure he wanted to tell his friend that right now.
"He should be a damn pet shop!" Ron continued. "I wonder if I can get Fred and
George to swap him with a real ferret? That would be funny."
That night, the Bloody Baron kept watch over the sleeping Slytherins while
Dumbledore and the four Heads of the Houses held a last minute meeting.
"We'll search the halls as best we can," said Dumbledore, "but if Moody is the
culprit, he'll be hard to catch with all his experience, and his magical eye."
Flitwick and McGonagall were not thrilled to be up late at night to
help Snape's house, and McGonagall even told him so.
"This is ridiculous. The Slytherins are safe for now. The Insania, if that is
what happened, will eventually wear off. This is too much," she complained.
"We have gone to extreme lengths in the past to protect a single Gryffindor
boy," Snape retorted coldly. "I don't think trying to protect a forth of the
school is too much."
McGonagall, or anyone else for that matter, couldn't reply. The only answers
would be to say that Harry Potter was more important than a forth of the
school, or that Hogwarts would be better without the Slytherins anyway, but
no one was going to tell Snape either response, even if they believed it.
Professor Sprout had never liked the Slytherins, but wouldn't wish the death
of a student on anyone. The five split up and began looking, each with a
bottle of Anti-Insania that would work if it made contact with skin. Flitwick
looked sadly at his bottle as they left. I do hope I'm not the one to find
him, he thought, I'm so short I could never reach his face or arms.
After hours of searching, nothing was found. Sprout, McGonagall, and Flitwick
went to bed, while Snape and Dumbledore spoke.
"McGonagall's right, Severus. How long will it take for the Insania to wear
off?" asked the headmaster.
"A month."
"It's been over two weeks already."
"Which means that the potion will be most powerful next week."
"Oh. Well, we'll keep those children safe. We can persevere."
Suddenly, words appeared on the ceiling.
"Don't you find it ironic, Severus," they read, "that you're hunting me now?"
Most of the Slytherins sat straight up when Snape entered the common room.
"You should be sleeping," he scolded.
"What happened?" a student asked.
"We're fairly certain it's Moody. There was another message that
hinted that it is he. Dumbledore agrees that it probably is Moody under the
influence of Insania, but he also warns that it could be someone pretending to
be Moody."
The students, who all hated Moody, muttered angrily and lay down. Draco was
thinking how much he would like to tear Moody to little shreds. The half-sane
Dark Arts Defense professor had turned him into a ferret for the first time the
year before, and had injured him. He had routinely taunted Snape, as well as
the elder Mr. Malfoy.
"Wouldn't it be satisfying if a huge boa constrictor wrapped itself around
Mad-Eye Moody and slowly crushed him to death?" a seventh-year wondered aloud.
The other students laughed a little.
"After seeing Malfoy 'tell off' that horrid Weasley today, I think we should sic
Draco on him."
"Yeah, Draco, bite off the rest of his nose."
"Chew through his wooden leg."
"All of our owls could attack him on command."
"Toss him in a snake pit."
"You mean a looney bin, or literally?"
"Either way is fine with me!"
"I'd like to steal that eye of his."
"I wonder why he isn't in a snake pit -- the figurative one."
"Because of idiots who think he's a hero."
"We should turn HIM into a ferret!"
"That would be funny. Think of the things we could do to him if he were a
ferret!"
"We could beat him up just like he did to Draco."
"Seems fair."
"Mad-Eye, the bouncing ferret Auror."
"If he were a ferret, we could toss him to Hagrid's Hippogriffs."
"I think it would be suiting to feed him to a snake."
"Imagine this: Dumbledore asks where Mad-Eye is, while there's a huge snake in
the corner with a big lump in its belly."
The talk continued like that for awhile. Snape stood at his door, unsure if he
should tell them to settle down, or if the talk was actually therapeutic by
helping them ease their fears. He let them fantasize for a bit longer before
quieting them.
Draco woke up a dull ache in his legs that was starting to get sharper. He knew
an attack was coming, so he nudged Goyle with his nose. The large boy didn't
wake. He gave up and made his way through the sleeping bags. Pansy rolled over
and nearly crushed him. After glaring at her sleeping form, a sudden jolt of
pain spurred him on. He got to Snape's door and squeaked at it while clawing
the wood. He finally heard movement inside, and soon Snape appeared. He gave
Draco the medicine, and after a few moments' rest, the ferret was on his way
back to the pile of Slytherins. The floor was very cold, Draco noted with
displeasure. The attack hadn't been bad. Had it been a little less severe, he
could have waited it out. Suddenly, something struck him hard in the side
and he flew across the room, striking the wall and landing on the stone. The
wind was knocked out of him. A very familiar, very disliked voice spoke
tauntingly. "I'd be careful, laddie. Not even that important father of yours
or your Head of House can help you all the time."
Uh-oh, Draco! What's going to happen to you now? Can you guess who just kicked
our little furry protagonist? If so, but it in the reviews. Don't worry
Draco fans, your hero will be feeling much better soon...if he survives
this encounter! Or, will the title have to be changed to "The Best Dead Ferret
Ever!"? (Evil laugh, little white ferret scurries to safety.)
More to come!
Chapter 4
Saiyan Princess
Hi! I don't own anything in any of these chapters. I don't make any money from
writing this. Actually, I don't make any money from writing anything because
they don't pay you for rejection letters. Sigh. If they did, I'd be rich!
I really do like Ron, so don't get mad at me, Ron fanatics. He's my favorite
character after Snape. ^_^ Odd combination...oh well! Enough blabbering, on
with "The Best Ferret Ever!"
P.S - I don't own any ferrets. I have a horse, three cats, a frog, six fish,
a hermit crab, and a guinea pig, but no ferrets. I think they may be illegal
where I live, like hedgehogs. Anyway, I hope my lack of ferret experience isn't
too noticeable and offensive to all the ferret owners out there.
I'm really done now.
"Professor, does Malfoy count as a person?" asked Crabbe.
"What on Earth do you mean?"
"We need to go to the bathroom, but you said we could only go around campus in
groups of four. There are three of us and Malfoy. Is that four?"
"It's fine," Snape replied.
The four students made their way down the hall, three on two feet each, one
on four.
They passed George and Fred on the way.
"Hey, Malfoy, get Snape to shrink a rider and you're all set for the 2004
Equestrian Olympic Team!" called out George, referring to the "polo wraps"
on Draco's legs.
Draco pinned back his ears and kept walking. He wanted to yell out some insult
concerning the twins' economic status, but couldn't. On the way back from the
bathroom they passed yet another impoverished redhead, Ron, along with Harry.
This was the first time Draco had been seen up and about Hogwarts, and Ron just
couldn't resist.
"Behind you, Malferret! It's Fang!" he yelled.
Draco hissed angrily, causing Ron to laugh. Seconds later, however, he was
screaming. Draco had attached himself to Ron's ankle. Ron yelled and swore and
hopped around, kicking all the while. But Draco was angry and kept his teeth
and claws firmly planted in Ron's flesh. After a minute, Draco released his
prey and quickly dodged Ron's foot to rejoin the safety of his friends.
Students were laughing. The redhead was seething now. He approached Draco,
but the ferret held his ground. When Ron reached for him he hissed, showing
off his sharp teeth.
"You horrible little rodent, I'll teach you to--"
Ron was interrupted as Draco lunged at his hand. The boy stared at the ferret
for a few moments, then backed down, walking away and mumbling threats.
The Slytherins cheered for Draco and taunted the intimidated Ron as he left.
Later that day Draco was resting in Snape's office after an attack.
"Don't worry," Snape told him. "You'll feel much better next week."
He was down to one mild attack in the day, and one in the evening. Snape and
Madam Pomfrey agreed that once Draco went an entire day without problems, he
could start going to his classes again. In the meantime, other Slytherins
were taking notes for him and going over them with Draco in the evening.
Snape was grading essays. For a few minutes, Draco listened to the sounds of
the quill on the parchment and tried to guess what grade was being written
down, then lifted his head to check. C's were easy, and he was becoming
fairly accurate, but Snape told him to rest. Draco was just about to doze off
when the door to Snape's office exploded open.
"Where's my BABY?" a woman's voice screeched.
The Malfoys had arrived. Mrs. Malfoy ran to Snape's desk and scooped up her
son.
"Careful with him," admonished Snape irritably. "He just had an attack."
Mrs. Malfoy gently rocked the white ferret. Mr. Malfoy entered and stared at
his son, gaping. Finally, he could speak.
"How is he?"
"He's doing well. He's having fewer attacks now. In a few days he'll be fine."
"Why are his legs bandaged?" cried Mrs. Malfoy.
"Doloris primarily targets limbs and the chest. The wraps help him walk more
comfortably."
Dumbledore entered. Mr. Malfoy's face turned red.
"You!" he yelled. "How could you allow this to happen?"
"Don't worry," said Dumbledore calmly. "An investigation is now taking place."
"Do you have any leads?" demanded Draco's father.
"We are not allowed to discuss suspects yet."
Mr. Malfoy's face became even more red, incredibly so. He began yelling at
Dumbledore who remained very calm. Mrs. Malfoy wept, cuddling the ferret.
Usually, Draco would have loved seeing his father rant at "Bumblebore," but
he was tired, even groggy now, and his sobbing mother was getting his fur all
wet with her tears while managing to bump every one of Draco's tender legs.
He turned his head towards Snape with desperation in his eyes. Please help me,
his eyes begged, this woman's a pain.
"Your son needs rest," Snape said suddenly.
The yelling and crying stopped for a moment.
"He just had an attack fifteen minutes ago. He should be sleeping. It will
help him recover faster."
"But he needs us now," protested Mrs. Malfoy. "How could sleeping now help?
Can't he sleep a little later?"
"I have the study right there," Snape told her, indicating a file cabinet.
"But...I rarely see him," Draco's mother argued, holding the ferret closer.
Draco squeaked as her arm pinched one of his hind legs.
"What did I do?" she asked in alarm.
"You hurt him. Be careful of his legs. Just give him an hour of rest. You'll
be done talking with the headmaster by then," pressured Snape.
Mrs. Malfoy reluctantly handed her son over to Snape, still hurting his legs.
Draco made sure she realized this by squealing angrily until Snape had him
and was holding him properly. He was placed in his box, which he loved very
much. If there was one thing he was going to miss when he could be turned
back into a human, it would be his comfy, secure box.
"Why don't we go up to my office?" suggested Dumbledore.
The Malfoys followed the old wizard out of the room, and Draco drifted off to
sleep, listening to Snape's writing quill mark C's, D's, and F's on the
Gryffindors' essays, and later move on to the B's and A's that signaled the
Slytherins' essays were being graded.
The Malfoys ended up leaving in a huff, promising to get rid of Dumbledore if
the guilty one was not found soon. By the time Mrs. Malfoy had finished
sobbing her goodbye, Draco was not at all sorry to see them leave. His mother
had suggested that he come live with them until he could be human again.
"We could get you a little satin pillow," his mother had suggested. "And a
jeweled collar. Wouldn't that be precious?"
Snow still hadn't come, so he and a group of Slytherins wandered outside.
A couple of first-year Gryffindors passed them.
"It's Malferret," one whispered.
"You idiot," the other whispered back. "He ripped up Ron Weasley's foot and
nearly took off his finger."
"That's a lie."
"No, it's not. I heard it from a Hufflepuff third-year."
If ferrets could smirk, Draco would have. Even students who would never ever
root for Slytherin, the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, had been making fun of
Ron that day. Not even the Gryffindors spared Ron, especially his brothers,
who kept jumping out at him from behind corners and yelling, "Ron! A ferret!
Run!" Draco knew he had to keep an eye out for George and Fred Weasley. They
disliked him, and loved practical jokes. Now being a ferret, he was at a
dangerous disadvantage.
"Draco, you look worried," Pansy commented.
Using his claws, he scratched, "W twins might make probs."
"Don't worry about them," Pansy reassured. "They wouldn't dare do anything to
you. We Slytherins are hanging out together more than ever now. They couldn't
do anything with us all in a big group."
"It's not fair!" growled Ron, cleaning the cuts on his ankle. "He's a ferret.
A FERRET, for crying out loud, and he still gets to pick on me!"
Harry cleared his throat. Ron had actually been the aggressor, but he wasn't
sure he wanted to tell his friend that right now.
"He should be a damn pet shop!" Ron continued. "I wonder if I can get Fred and
George to swap him with a real ferret? That would be funny."
That night, the Bloody Baron kept watch over the sleeping Slytherins while
Dumbledore and the four Heads of the Houses held a last minute meeting.
"We'll search the halls as best we can," said Dumbledore, "but if Moody is the
culprit, he'll be hard to catch with all his experience, and his magical eye."
Flitwick and McGonagall were not thrilled to be up late at night to
help Snape's house, and McGonagall even told him so.
"This is ridiculous. The Slytherins are safe for now. The Insania, if that is
what happened, will eventually wear off. This is too much," she complained.
"We have gone to extreme lengths in the past to protect a single Gryffindor
boy," Snape retorted coldly. "I don't think trying to protect a forth of the
school is too much."
McGonagall, or anyone else for that matter, couldn't reply. The only answers
would be to say that Harry Potter was more important than a forth of the
school, or that Hogwarts would be better without the Slytherins anyway, but
no one was going to tell Snape either response, even if they believed it.
Professor Sprout had never liked the Slytherins, but wouldn't wish the death
of a student on anyone. The five split up and began looking, each with a
bottle of Anti-Insania that would work if it made contact with skin. Flitwick
looked sadly at his bottle as they left. I do hope I'm not the one to find
him, he thought, I'm so short I could never reach his face or arms.
After hours of searching, nothing was found. Sprout, McGonagall, and Flitwick
went to bed, while Snape and Dumbledore spoke.
"McGonagall's right, Severus. How long will it take for the Insania to wear
off?" asked the headmaster.
"A month."
"It's been over two weeks already."
"Which means that the potion will be most powerful next week."
"Oh. Well, we'll keep those children safe. We can persevere."
Suddenly, words appeared on the ceiling.
"Don't you find it ironic, Severus," they read, "that you're hunting me now?"
Most of the Slytherins sat straight up when Snape entered the common room.
"You should be sleeping," he scolded.
"What happened?" a student asked.
"We're fairly certain it's Moody. There was another message that
hinted that it is he. Dumbledore agrees that it probably is Moody under the
influence of Insania, but he also warns that it could be someone pretending to
be Moody."
The students, who all hated Moody, muttered angrily and lay down. Draco was
thinking how much he would like to tear Moody to little shreds. The half-sane
Dark Arts Defense professor had turned him into a ferret for the first time the
year before, and had injured him. He had routinely taunted Snape, as well as
the elder Mr. Malfoy.
"Wouldn't it be satisfying if a huge boa constrictor wrapped itself around
Mad-Eye Moody and slowly crushed him to death?" a seventh-year wondered aloud.
The other students laughed a little.
"After seeing Malfoy 'tell off' that horrid Weasley today, I think we should sic
Draco on him."
"Yeah, Draco, bite off the rest of his nose."
"Chew through his wooden leg."
"All of our owls could attack him on command."
"Toss him in a snake pit."
"You mean a looney bin, or literally?"
"Either way is fine with me!"
"I'd like to steal that eye of his."
"I wonder why he isn't in a snake pit -- the figurative one."
"Because of idiots who think he's a hero."
"We should turn HIM into a ferret!"
"That would be funny. Think of the things we could do to him if he were a
ferret!"
"We could beat him up just like he did to Draco."
"Seems fair."
"Mad-Eye, the bouncing ferret Auror."
"If he were a ferret, we could toss him to Hagrid's Hippogriffs."
"I think it would be suiting to feed him to a snake."
"Imagine this: Dumbledore asks where Mad-Eye is, while there's a huge snake in
the corner with a big lump in its belly."
The talk continued like that for awhile. Snape stood at his door, unsure if he
should tell them to settle down, or if the talk was actually therapeutic by
helping them ease their fears. He let them fantasize for a bit longer before
quieting them.
Draco woke up a dull ache in his legs that was starting to get sharper. He knew
an attack was coming, so he nudged Goyle with his nose. The large boy didn't
wake. He gave up and made his way through the sleeping bags. Pansy rolled over
and nearly crushed him. After glaring at her sleeping form, a sudden jolt of
pain spurred him on. He got to Snape's door and squeaked at it while clawing
the wood. He finally heard movement inside, and soon Snape appeared. He gave
Draco the medicine, and after a few moments' rest, the ferret was on his way
back to the pile of Slytherins. The floor was very cold, Draco noted with
displeasure. The attack hadn't been bad. Had it been a little less severe, he
could have waited it out. Suddenly, something struck him hard in the side
and he flew across the room, striking the wall and landing on the stone. The
wind was knocked out of him. A very familiar, very disliked voice spoke
tauntingly. "I'd be careful, laddie. Not even that important father of yours
or your Head of House can help you all the time."
Uh-oh, Draco! What's going to happen to you now? Can you guess who just kicked
our little furry protagonist? If so, but it in the reviews. Don't worry
Draco fans, your hero will be feeling much better soon...if he survives
this encounter! Or, will the title have to be changed to "The Best Dead Ferret
Ever!"? (Evil laugh, little white ferret scurries to safety.)
More to come!