Sonny listened for Carly's crying again and figured out that it was coming
from her room. He tapped on the door before opening it. He softly opened
the door to see Carly curled up in the middle of her bed crying.
Sonny slowly approached the bed. He sat next her and touched her shoulder
gently. "Hey."
Carly raised her head and looked at him with red eyes. "I dreamed about
Angel. I was here walking down the hallway and I could hear her crying. But
the hallway kept getting longer and longer with every step. And she kept
crying and crying but I couldn't get to her. I couldn't get to my baby,
Sonny."
Sonny shifted further onto the bed and took her into his arms. She rested
her head on his shoulder. She murmured. "A.J. took our baby away. I *hate*
him."
Sonny wondered where this suddenly came from. He soothingly stroked her
hair. "Me too."
"Why?" She cried. "Why did he do this to us?"
"I wish that there was some way for me to turn back time…"
"But you can't and neither can I." Carly said softly. It was something she
had to accept. She leaned back and wiped the tears from her face.
"Are you okay now?" He asked her as he started to get up from the bed.
She wrapped her arms around herself and nodded. She said hesitantly,
"Um…could you…would you stay with me for awhile. At least until I fall
asleep?"
Sonny narrowed his eyes and studied her. He looked at her for so long that
Carly became embarrassed. She shook her head rapidly. "You know what, never
mind. It was a stupid idea."
He shook his head. "No, I don' t mind. It saves me having to search this
house for you the next time you wake me up. Move over."
Carly scooted across the bed and Sonny lay down beside her. She stiffened
up next to him. Carly stared up at the ceiling and listened to the sounds
of their breathing. After several seconds she finally said. "This was
stupid. Go back to your own bed."
"Would you be quiet so I could get some sleep?" Sonny gritted out.
"This isn't working. Go back to your bed." She insisted.
"You know, I don't think I've ever been kicked out of a woman's bed
before." Sonny smirked.
"There's a first time for everything." She smirked back. "Now go."
"I don't get you. You beg me to sleep here and now two seconds later you're
throwing me out. What is the problem?"
"It doesn't feel right anymore." She said lamely.
He cursed under his breath and threw his arm around her. "Sonny!" She
squealed. He ignored her and brought her close to him. He muttered. "Now
shut up and go to sleep."
Carly struggled against him for a few minutes but he was grip was strong
and he wouldn't let go. There was no use fighting it. She collapsed against
him and closed her eyes.
~*~*~
The next morning Carly woke up in Sonny's arms. She blushed furiously. She
couldn't believe she asked him to stay and spent the whole night with him.
But…she had to admit to herself that there was something nice about waking
up in his arms. She couldn't remember the last time that happened to her.
Or the last time she didn't completely hate the man whose arms she was
waking up in. It was a really good feeling…
Carly shook her head. What was she thinking? Nice and good? Sonny? She had
to be kidding... She chewed on her lip and thought about it. All right, it
*was* kind of nice to know that he cared enough to stay. He could have left
after she finally went to sleep but he didn't. He stayed.
Why are you fooling yourself? He probably just fell asleep before she did
and that's why he stayed, she told herself. No doubt he hated every minute
of it. She frowned and started to move away from him.
The movement of the bed woke Sonny. He slowly opened his eyes. "What time
is it?"
"I don't know. Early?" She guessed by the amount of light shining through
her curtains.
"Oh." He groaned and sat up.
"You know, you didn't have to stay, you could have gone." She said quickly.
He shrugged and didn't answer.
Carly fidgeted on the bed. "So I guess I should say thank you, huh?"
"That would be a good start."
"Don't push your luck." She smirked. "All you did was lay next to me."
"Everything okay this morning?" Sonny murmured as he stared into her eyes.
She nodded and stared at the sheet. "Yeah, kinda."
"Good." He touched her cheek gently. "You scared me last night."
"I did?"
"Yeah, there's something about being woken two nights in a row by you
crying that scares me."
"Really?" She pressed for more information. She tucked a strand of hair
behind her ear. "Why is that?"
Sonny sat silent. He frowned and asked himself the same question. Why? He
looked up at Carly who was waiting expectantly. She was dressed in the
T-shirt she'd slept in, her hair was a mess, and she didn't have any makeup
on. The answer that came to him he didn't like.
"Sonny?" Carly said softly. "Hey?"
Sonny got off the bed. "Do you want some breakfast? I'm a little hungry."
Carly frowned as she watched her leave the room as quickly as possible.
What was that? She smirked to herself. The strain of spending so much time
with her must have finally caught up with him.
~*~*~
"I'll see you in a little bit okay?" Carly stood over Sonny later that day.
He was sprawled out in one of the deck chairs staring at the beach. He
appeared to be deep in thought but she didn't let that stop her from
interrupting him. She had searched the whole house for him until she
figured out where he was.
He peered up at her. It didn't even occur to him that this was the first
time she'd let him know she was leaving the house since they got to the
island. "Where are you going?"
She put on a pair of shades and said. "Into town."
"What for?" He pressed.
"To shop, to see the doctor, to sight see. The usual." She shrugged.
"The doctor?" He sat up quickly. "Why? Is there something wrong? Are you
okay?"
"Calm down." She held up a hand. "I'm just going for a check up, that's
all."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
She shook her head. "No, it's no big deal."
"If you're sure…"
Carly frowned at him. Why was he offering to go with her? This morning he
couldn't wait to get away from her. "No, I'll be fine."
Though just after her successful check up Carly was anything but fine. She
had just walked out of the examination room when her heart broke in two.
Sitting in the waiting room was a young mother singing softly to her
newborn. Carly had to brace herself against the wall. Her hand immediately
flew to her stomach.
Was it always going to be like this, she wondered. Every time she saw a
mother and child, would it hurt? Would it always feel like the rest of the
world was laughing at her? Was it just a cosmic joke that Carly Benson
couldn't take care of her kids and keep them safe?
She shook her head. She couldn't do this. She thought she could but it was
obvious she couldn't. Tears came to her eyes.
The young woman glanced up at Carly. She asked gently. "Are you okay?"
Carly didn't get a chance to answer because the baby began to fuss. The
woman immediately tried to soothe the baby. She smiled up at Carly. "He's a
little fussy today."
Carly took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She tried to gather her
strength. *He.* Carly had a very good reason to get over this. Michael.
Michael needs her, well and happy. He didn't need a mother who freaked out
every time she saw a baby.
She swallowed and forced herself to smile at the woman. "He's beautiful.
You're very lucky."
"Thank you. There was a time that I thought I'd never have a baby." The
woman confessed. "I miscarried twice before my husband and I were blessed
with him."
Carly covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm so sorry. How horrible."
She shrugged and rocked the baby in her arms. "That's the way life is
sometimes I guess."
Carly sat down next to the woman. "How did you get over it?"
"It took time. I'll never forget them though and they will always be in my
heart, I know that. I'll miss them and wonder what could have been. But I
couldn't go back in time and change things. That was the hardest thing for
me to accept." She studied Carly closely. "Did you…"
Carly nodded. "Recently."
She touched Carly's shoulder. "I know that you've probably heard this a
thousand times and you believe it's not true but it *will* get easier."
"I'm not sure I'm ready to believe that."
"You will be." She said solemnly.
The nurse came out and spoke to the young woman. "The doctor will see you
now."
She gathered up her things and stood. Carly watched her. She said softly.
"Thank you."
She smiled gently. "You're welcome." She followed the nurse out of the
waiting room.
Carly stared at the floor as she thought about their conversation. Maybe
there was some truth in what she said.
~*~*~
"I'm back." Carly called out as she entered the beach house later that
night. She was feeling a lot better since her talk with the woman at the
doctor's office. She stopped short and frowned. "Ew, if I say 'honey, I'm
home'. Shoot me. Please."
She waited for Sonny's response. It didn't come. Did he go somewhere, she
wondered. She called out again, this time louder. "Sonny? Hey Sonny!"
"I'm in the kitchen." Sonny called out.
Carly walked towards the kitchen. She leaned against the doorjamb. "What
are you doing?"
"What does it look like?" He said with an arched eyebrow as he seasoned a
fillet.
"Looks like you're cooking to me."
"Yeah, I decided to make dinner for us. I gave the cook the night off."
"Oh." Carly said softly. She frowned suspiciously. "Why?"
"Why?" He repeated then shrugged. "I don't know why. I felt like it."
"Is this like some sort of…ploy?" Carly asked as she slowly made her way
into the kitchen. She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter
and bit into it.
"Ploy?" He repeated again.
Carly growled. "Stop repeating everything I say!"
"Look, there's no hidden ploy or scheme going on here. Why you would think
that, I have no idea. But I just felt like making dinner. You don't want to
eat with me? Fine. But if you *do* want to, put down the apple cause you'll
ruin your appetite."
Carly made a face and bit into the apple defiantly. Sonny shook his head
and laughed. "Whatever. You can make your own dinner then, I'm not calling the
cook back here because you're too stubborn."
Carly rolled her eyes. "What are you making?"
"Fish."
"Fish?" Carly screwed her face.
"Now who's repeating who?" Sonny wiped his hands on a dishtowel. "You don't
like fish?"
"I *hate* fish."
"Aren't you from Florida?" Sonny frowned.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I was born to love fish. Ugh." She shuddered.
Sonny nodded. "Okay, I can make you something else."
Her mouth dropped open in shock. "Really?"
He shrugged and moved over to the refrigerator. "Yeah, it's no problem. You
like chicken?"
"I mean, just like that?" Carly gestured with her apple. "No big argument?
No I'm just going to have to eat the fish and like it?"
He said slowly. "Carly, it's not a big deal. Really. Everything between us
doesn't have to be a fight."
"Well, usually it's either that or sex." Carly muttered.
Sonny paused and looked at her. Carly bit into her fruit again and looked
away. She had no idea what possessed her to say those words. A long
uncomfortable silence passed between them. Finally when she thought she
couldn't stand it any longer, Sonny cleared his throat and brought the
chicken over to the counter.
She swallowed. "So what are you making me?"
He looked up with a smile. "It'll be a surprise.'
"Just don't make it crab stuffed chicken or something." Carly warned.
"Why don't you get out of my kitchen? You're crowding me." He suggested.
"I don't know. I think I have to keep my eye on you." Carly sidled up next
to him. "Make sure you don't sabotage my dinner."
"Make yourself useful. Set the table." He ordered her.
She raised her eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
He leaned in close and murmured. "Please Carly, would you go and set the
table?"
Carly stared into his eyes. She nodded and slowly smiled. "All you had to
was say please."
He shook his head and Carly laughed. She placed her half-eaten apple into
his hands. "Here, hold this. Don't get cute with my food."
Carly tossed a smile over her shoulder as she went about getting the dishes
and silverware. Sonny smirked and dropped her apple in the garbage.
"Dinner will be ready in a hour."
~*~*~
Carly stared at Sonny across the table. They hadn't said anything since
they sat down to the dinner. They ate quietly. Sonny looked up from his
plate to see Carly staring at him intently. He looked into her eyes and she
quickly dropped her eyes back down. Sonny frowned but continued eating. He
felt her eyes on him again but when he looked up she looked away again.
Sonny sighed and placed his fork on the table. He folded his hands and
looked at her. "What is it?"
Carly looked up with feigned innocence. "Huh?"
Sonny narrowed his eyes. "Dinner's okay?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"The salad? The rice? The chicken?"
Carly nodded again. "Yeah, well the chicken could have a little more flavor
but other than that…"
Sonny looked at the ceiling. "Carly, why do you keep looking at me?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm trying to figure you out, I guess."
Sonny picked up his fork. "There's nothing to figure out."
"Yeah, there is. There's this sudden change in attitude from you. You
haven't treated me like public enemy number one in a long time and I want
to know what's up. I mean ever since we hit the island you've been kind of
*nice* to me." She said the word as if it disgusted her. "What is going on
here, Sonny?"
"Is there any reason for me to? No." He shrugged.
"There's reasons enough but you haven't said anything. My guess is you're
walking on eggshells around me because of the," Carly paused and took a
deep breath, "the miscarriage."
Sonny shook his head. "No, that's not it. Carly, there is *really* no
reason for me to insult you. It didn't do either of us any good. It was a
waste of time."
Carly stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Good because you know it
really gets old hearing the same old whore tramp slut refrain over and
over. I usually let it roll off of me but man…"
Sonny reached across the table to touch her hand. "I'm sorry for that."
She snatched her hand away. "Why are you apologizing? It was what you
thought of me, wasn't it?"
He took a breath. "I was wrong."
Carly picked up her fork and stabbed her chicken with it. "Whatever. You're
only saying that because of Angel. You don't have to. You don't want to
like me? That's okay with me."
"Why won't you believe me why I say that I'm sorry?"
"Because I know you're lying. Sonny, it's fine." She shrugged.
"Why are you making such a big deal about this?" He frowned.
Carly rolled her eyes. "Okay, Sonny, I accept your apology. I *believe*
you. Happy?"
"Actually I'm not."
"What do you want me from?" She burst out. She threw down her fork and
stood up. "I don't know what to do with you. How do I handle you when
you're being nice? You're never nice to me and all of sudden you're cooking
dinner for me and holding me and wiping away my tears and…and…It's really
weirding me out!"
Sonny stared at her for a few seconds before laughing loudly. Carly glared
at him. She gritted through her teeth. "Why are you laughing at me? Don't
laugh at me!"
He chuckled. "It's just that, this whole thing is ridiculous. You're
deliberately looking for a reason to make me angry aren't you?"
"No. I just want the truth."
Sonny stood up and walked around the table. "The truth is, there is no
reason for us to hurt each other anymore."
"Because of Angel, because she's gone." She looked down.
He tilted her chin up so that he could look into her eyes and said softly.
"Partly and partly because I don't want to hurt you anymore, Carly."
"Why?" She demanded.
He shrugged. "The urge has passed, I guess."
Carly smirked. "Just wait until I ruin the life of someone else you love."
"Why do you insist on doing this? Ever since we got here you've been
pushing me away."
"No, I haven't." She lied stubbornly.
He clenched his jaw. "Yes, you have. I've had to pull everything out of
you. You didn't make anything easy for me."
"And you want what? A medal or something?" Carly mocked.
"I just want you to stop." He growled.
Carly widened her eyes. "Ooo, not so *nice* anymore are you?"
Sonny tightened his hands into fist and shook his head. "You just can't
help yourself, can you?"
"You don't like me Sonny. Just *say* it, okay?"
"Carly…" He tried to inject but continued.
"*Say* it!"
"Carly…" He tried again but she ignored him.
"Stop pretending otherwise and just face up to it." She taunted him.
He surprised her by grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her close to
him. In an effort to shut her up he covered her lips with his own. He
kissed her hard. Carly stood stiff against him at first but then as the
kiss continued on she relaxed against him, putting her arms around his
neck. She closed her eyes and pressed herself against him.
Sonny lifted his head and said. "I am not pretending to like you. Maybe I
don't, okay, but I'm trying."
Carly stared at him blankly for a moment. Then as she realized what had
just happened she frowned. "What is it? You only kiss me when you're angry
with me?"
"What? Number one, I don't have to be angry to kiss you and number two, I
wasn't angry."
Carly laughed a little. "You weren't angry? Right."
"If you want me to prove to you that it's not anger has nothing to do with
it, I can." He threatened her.
Carly took a step back and shook her head. "No, I don't want you to prove a
damn thing. Believe me."
She moved around him and quickly left the room.
~*~*~
Sonny shoved his hands into his pocket and stared out at the water. He
played the kiss over and over in his mind. Why he did it, he wasn't sure
but he couldn't stop thinking about it. And her. Ever since that morning
she'd been on his mind. He couldn't get away from her.
The only reason I kissed her was to shut her up, he told himself sternly.
That was all. She kept talking and talking and I couldn't get a word in
edgewise. I had to do *something*. And it wasn't because I was angry. He
closed his eyes. But if I wasn't angry, why did I kiss her?
Carly sat down on the window seat in her room. She curled her feet
underneath her and stared out the window. In the distance she could see
Sonny standing on the beach. She sighed heavily and pushed back a strand of
hair that fell across her face.
Sonny and that damn kiss. She couldn't get it out of her mind. Why did I
let him do it? And most importantly, why did I enjoy it? If only I hadn't
pushed him. She touched the windowpane and watched as Sonny crouched down
in the sand. But I did push him and we did kiss. So what are we going to do
now? And how much did one little kiss change things?
from her room. He tapped on the door before opening it. He softly opened
the door to see Carly curled up in the middle of her bed crying.
Sonny slowly approached the bed. He sat next her and touched her shoulder
gently. "Hey."
Carly raised her head and looked at him with red eyes. "I dreamed about
Angel. I was here walking down the hallway and I could hear her crying. But
the hallway kept getting longer and longer with every step. And she kept
crying and crying but I couldn't get to her. I couldn't get to my baby,
Sonny."
Sonny shifted further onto the bed and took her into his arms. She rested
her head on his shoulder. She murmured. "A.J. took our baby away. I *hate*
him."
Sonny wondered where this suddenly came from. He soothingly stroked her
hair. "Me too."
"Why?" She cried. "Why did he do this to us?"
"I wish that there was some way for me to turn back time…"
"But you can't and neither can I." Carly said softly. It was something she
had to accept. She leaned back and wiped the tears from her face.
"Are you okay now?" He asked her as he started to get up from the bed.
She wrapped her arms around herself and nodded. She said hesitantly,
"Um…could you…would you stay with me for awhile. At least until I fall
asleep?"
Sonny narrowed his eyes and studied her. He looked at her for so long that
Carly became embarrassed. She shook her head rapidly. "You know what, never
mind. It was a stupid idea."
He shook his head. "No, I don' t mind. It saves me having to search this
house for you the next time you wake me up. Move over."
Carly scooted across the bed and Sonny lay down beside her. She stiffened
up next to him. Carly stared up at the ceiling and listened to the sounds
of their breathing. After several seconds she finally said. "This was
stupid. Go back to your own bed."
"Would you be quiet so I could get some sleep?" Sonny gritted out.
"This isn't working. Go back to your bed." She insisted.
"You know, I don't think I've ever been kicked out of a woman's bed
before." Sonny smirked.
"There's a first time for everything." She smirked back. "Now go."
"I don't get you. You beg me to sleep here and now two seconds later you're
throwing me out. What is the problem?"
"It doesn't feel right anymore." She said lamely.
He cursed under his breath and threw his arm around her. "Sonny!" She
squealed. He ignored her and brought her close to him. He muttered. "Now
shut up and go to sleep."
Carly struggled against him for a few minutes but he was grip was strong
and he wouldn't let go. There was no use fighting it. She collapsed against
him and closed her eyes.
~*~*~
The next morning Carly woke up in Sonny's arms. She blushed furiously. She
couldn't believe she asked him to stay and spent the whole night with him.
But…she had to admit to herself that there was something nice about waking
up in his arms. She couldn't remember the last time that happened to her.
Or the last time she didn't completely hate the man whose arms she was
waking up in. It was a really good feeling…
Carly shook her head. What was she thinking? Nice and good? Sonny? She had
to be kidding... She chewed on her lip and thought about it. All right, it
*was* kind of nice to know that he cared enough to stay. He could have left
after she finally went to sleep but he didn't. He stayed.
Why are you fooling yourself? He probably just fell asleep before she did
and that's why he stayed, she told herself. No doubt he hated every minute
of it. She frowned and started to move away from him.
The movement of the bed woke Sonny. He slowly opened his eyes. "What time
is it?"
"I don't know. Early?" She guessed by the amount of light shining through
her curtains.
"Oh." He groaned and sat up.
"You know, you didn't have to stay, you could have gone." She said quickly.
He shrugged and didn't answer.
Carly fidgeted on the bed. "So I guess I should say thank you, huh?"
"That would be a good start."
"Don't push your luck." She smirked. "All you did was lay next to me."
"Everything okay this morning?" Sonny murmured as he stared into her eyes.
She nodded and stared at the sheet. "Yeah, kinda."
"Good." He touched her cheek gently. "You scared me last night."
"I did?"
"Yeah, there's something about being woken two nights in a row by you
crying that scares me."
"Really?" She pressed for more information. She tucked a strand of hair
behind her ear. "Why is that?"
Sonny sat silent. He frowned and asked himself the same question. Why? He
looked up at Carly who was waiting expectantly. She was dressed in the
T-shirt she'd slept in, her hair was a mess, and she didn't have any makeup
on. The answer that came to him he didn't like.
"Sonny?" Carly said softly. "Hey?"
Sonny got off the bed. "Do you want some breakfast? I'm a little hungry."
Carly frowned as she watched her leave the room as quickly as possible.
What was that? She smirked to herself. The strain of spending so much time
with her must have finally caught up with him.
~*~*~
"I'll see you in a little bit okay?" Carly stood over Sonny later that day.
He was sprawled out in one of the deck chairs staring at the beach. He
appeared to be deep in thought but she didn't let that stop her from
interrupting him. She had searched the whole house for him until she
figured out where he was.
He peered up at her. It didn't even occur to him that this was the first
time she'd let him know she was leaving the house since they got to the
island. "Where are you going?"
She put on a pair of shades and said. "Into town."
"What for?" He pressed.
"To shop, to see the doctor, to sight see. The usual." She shrugged.
"The doctor?" He sat up quickly. "Why? Is there something wrong? Are you
okay?"
"Calm down." She held up a hand. "I'm just going for a check up, that's
all."
"Do you want me to come with you?"
She shook her head. "No, it's no big deal."
"If you're sure…"
Carly frowned at him. Why was he offering to go with her? This morning he
couldn't wait to get away from her. "No, I'll be fine."
Though just after her successful check up Carly was anything but fine. She
had just walked out of the examination room when her heart broke in two.
Sitting in the waiting room was a young mother singing softly to her
newborn. Carly had to brace herself against the wall. Her hand immediately
flew to her stomach.
Was it always going to be like this, she wondered. Every time she saw a
mother and child, would it hurt? Would it always feel like the rest of the
world was laughing at her? Was it just a cosmic joke that Carly Benson
couldn't take care of her kids and keep them safe?
She shook her head. She couldn't do this. She thought she could but it was
obvious she couldn't. Tears came to her eyes.
The young woman glanced up at Carly. She asked gently. "Are you okay?"
Carly didn't get a chance to answer because the baby began to fuss. The
woman immediately tried to soothe the baby. She smiled up at Carly. "He's a
little fussy today."
Carly took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She tried to gather her
strength. *He.* Carly had a very good reason to get over this. Michael.
Michael needs her, well and happy. He didn't need a mother who freaked out
every time she saw a baby.
She swallowed and forced herself to smile at the woman. "He's beautiful.
You're very lucky."
"Thank you. There was a time that I thought I'd never have a baby." The
woman confessed. "I miscarried twice before my husband and I were blessed
with him."
Carly covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm so sorry. How horrible."
She shrugged and rocked the baby in her arms. "That's the way life is
sometimes I guess."
Carly sat down next to the woman. "How did you get over it?"
"It took time. I'll never forget them though and they will always be in my
heart, I know that. I'll miss them and wonder what could have been. But I
couldn't go back in time and change things. That was the hardest thing for
me to accept." She studied Carly closely. "Did you…"
Carly nodded. "Recently."
She touched Carly's shoulder. "I know that you've probably heard this a
thousand times and you believe it's not true but it *will* get easier."
"I'm not sure I'm ready to believe that."
"You will be." She said solemnly.
The nurse came out and spoke to the young woman. "The doctor will see you
now."
She gathered up her things and stood. Carly watched her. She said softly.
"Thank you."
She smiled gently. "You're welcome." She followed the nurse out of the
waiting room.
Carly stared at the floor as she thought about their conversation. Maybe
there was some truth in what she said.
~*~*~
"I'm back." Carly called out as she entered the beach house later that
night. She was feeling a lot better since her talk with the woman at the
doctor's office. She stopped short and frowned. "Ew, if I say 'honey, I'm
home'. Shoot me. Please."
She waited for Sonny's response. It didn't come. Did he go somewhere, she
wondered. She called out again, this time louder. "Sonny? Hey Sonny!"
"I'm in the kitchen." Sonny called out.
Carly walked towards the kitchen. She leaned against the doorjamb. "What
are you doing?"
"What does it look like?" He said with an arched eyebrow as he seasoned a
fillet.
"Looks like you're cooking to me."
"Yeah, I decided to make dinner for us. I gave the cook the night off."
"Oh." Carly said softly. She frowned suspiciously. "Why?"
"Why?" He repeated then shrugged. "I don't know why. I felt like it."
"Is this like some sort of…ploy?" Carly asked as she slowly made her way
into the kitchen. She grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter
and bit into it.
"Ploy?" He repeated again.
Carly growled. "Stop repeating everything I say!"
"Look, there's no hidden ploy or scheme going on here. Why you would think
that, I have no idea. But I just felt like making dinner. You don't want to
eat with me? Fine. But if you *do* want to, put down the apple cause you'll
ruin your appetite."
Carly made a face and bit into the apple defiantly. Sonny shook his head
and laughed. "Whatever. You can make your own dinner then, I'm not calling the
cook back here because you're too stubborn."
Carly rolled her eyes. "What are you making?"
"Fish."
"Fish?" Carly screwed her face.
"Now who's repeating who?" Sonny wiped his hands on a dishtowel. "You don't
like fish?"
"I *hate* fish."
"Aren't you from Florida?" Sonny frowned.
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I was born to love fish. Ugh." She shuddered.
Sonny nodded. "Okay, I can make you something else."
Her mouth dropped open in shock. "Really?"
He shrugged and moved over to the refrigerator. "Yeah, it's no problem. You
like chicken?"
"I mean, just like that?" Carly gestured with her apple. "No big argument?
No I'm just going to have to eat the fish and like it?"
He said slowly. "Carly, it's not a big deal. Really. Everything between us
doesn't have to be a fight."
"Well, usually it's either that or sex." Carly muttered.
Sonny paused and looked at her. Carly bit into her fruit again and looked
away. She had no idea what possessed her to say those words. A long
uncomfortable silence passed between them. Finally when she thought she
couldn't stand it any longer, Sonny cleared his throat and brought the
chicken over to the counter.
She swallowed. "So what are you making me?"
He looked up with a smile. "It'll be a surprise.'
"Just don't make it crab stuffed chicken or something." Carly warned.
"Why don't you get out of my kitchen? You're crowding me." He suggested.
"I don't know. I think I have to keep my eye on you." Carly sidled up next
to him. "Make sure you don't sabotage my dinner."
"Make yourself useful. Set the table." He ordered her.
She raised her eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
He leaned in close and murmured. "Please Carly, would you go and set the
table?"
Carly stared into his eyes. She nodded and slowly smiled. "All you had to
was say please."
He shook his head and Carly laughed. She placed her half-eaten apple into
his hands. "Here, hold this. Don't get cute with my food."
Carly tossed a smile over her shoulder as she went about getting the dishes
and silverware. Sonny smirked and dropped her apple in the garbage.
"Dinner will be ready in a hour."
~*~*~
Carly stared at Sonny across the table. They hadn't said anything since
they sat down to the dinner. They ate quietly. Sonny looked up from his
plate to see Carly staring at him intently. He looked into her eyes and she
quickly dropped her eyes back down. Sonny frowned but continued eating. He
felt her eyes on him again but when he looked up she looked away again.
Sonny sighed and placed his fork on the table. He folded his hands and
looked at her. "What is it?"
Carly looked up with feigned innocence. "Huh?"
Sonny narrowed his eyes. "Dinner's okay?"
"Yeah." She nodded.
"The salad? The rice? The chicken?"
Carly nodded again. "Yeah, well the chicken could have a little more flavor
but other than that…"
Sonny looked at the ceiling. "Carly, why do you keep looking at me?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I'm trying to figure you out, I guess."
Sonny picked up his fork. "There's nothing to figure out."
"Yeah, there is. There's this sudden change in attitude from you. You
haven't treated me like public enemy number one in a long time and I want
to know what's up. I mean ever since we hit the island you've been kind of
*nice* to me." She said the word as if it disgusted her. "What is going on
here, Sonny?"
"Is there any reason for me to? No." He shrugged.
"There's reasons enough but you haven't said anything. My guess is you're
walking on eggshells around me because of the," Carly paused and took a
deep breath, "the miscarriage."
Sonny shook his head. "No, that's not it. Carly, there is *really* no
reason for me to insult you. It didn't do either of us any good. It was a
waste of time."
Carly stared at him for a moment before nodding. "Good because you know it
really gets old hearing the same old whore tramp slut refrain over and
over. I usually let it roll off of me but man…"
Sonny reached across the table to touch her hand. "I'm sorry for that."
She snatched her hand away. "Why are you apologizing? It was what you
thought of me, wasn't it?"
He took a breath. "I was wrong."
Carly picked up her fork and stabbed her chicken with it. "Whatever. You're
only saying that because of Angel. You don't have to. You don't want to
like me? That's okay with me."
"Why won't you believe me why I say that I'm sorry?"
"Because I know you're lying. Sonny, it's fine." She shrugged.
"Why are you making such a big deal about this?" He frowned.
Carly rolled her eyes. "Okay, Sonny, I accept your apology. I *believe*
you. Happy?"
"Actually I'm not."
"What do you want me from?" She burst out. She threw down her fork and
stood up. "I don't know what to do with you. How do I handle you when
you're being nice? You're never nice to me and all of sudden you're cooking
dinner for me and holding me and wiping away my tears and…and…It's really
weirding me out!"
Sonny stared at her for a few seconds before laughing loudly. Carly glared
at him. She gritted through her teeth. "Why are you laughing at me? Don't
laugh at me!"
He chuckled. "It's just that, this whole thing is ridiculous. You're
deliberately looking for a reason to make me angry aren't you?"
"No. I just want the truth."
Sonny stood up and walked around the table. "The truth is, there is no
reason for us to hurt each other anymore."
"Because of Angel, because she's gone." She looked down.
He tilted her chin up so that he could look into her eyes and said softly.
"Partly and partly because I don't want to hurt you anymore, Carly."
"Why?" She demanded.
He shrugged. "The urge has passed, I guess."
Carly smirked. "Just wait until I ruin the life of someone else you love."
"Why do you insist on doing this? Ever since we got here you've been
pushing me away."
"No, I haven't." She lied stubbornly.
He clenched his jaw. "Yes, you have. I've had to pull everything out of
you. You didn't make anything easy for me."
"And you want what? A medal or something?" Carly mocked.
"I just want you to stop." He growled.
Carly widened her eyes. "Ooo, not so *nice* anymore are you?"
Sonny tightened his hands into fist and shook his head. "You just can't
help yourself, can you?"
"You don't like me Sonny. Just *say* it, okay?"
"Carly…" He tried to inject but continued.
"*Say* it!"
"Carly…" He tried again but she ignored him.
"Stop pretending otherwise and just face up to it." She taunted him.
He surprised her by grabbing her by the shoulders and pulling her close to
him. In an effort to shut her up he covered her lips with his own. He
kissed her hard. Carly stood stiff against him at first but then as the
kiss continued on she relaxed against him, putting her arms around his
neck. She closed her eyes and pressed herself against him.
Sonny lifted his head and said. "I am not pretending to like you. Maybe I
don't, okay, but I'm trying."
Carly stared at him blankly for a moment. Then as she realized what had
just happened she frowned. "What is it? You only kiss me when you're angry
with me?"
"What? Number one, I don't have to be angry to kiss you and number two, I
wasn't angry."
Carly laughed a little. "You weren't angry? Right."
"If you want me to prove to you that it's not anger has nothing to do with
it, I can." He threatened her.
Carly took a step back and shook her head. "No, I don't want you to prove a
damn thing. Believe me."
She moved around him and quickly left the room.
~*~*~
Sonny shoved his hands into his pocket and stared out at the water. He
played the kiss over and over in his mind. Why he did it, he wasn't sure
but he couldn't stop thinking about it. And her. Ever since that morning
she'd been on his mind. He couldn't get away from her.
The only reason I kissed her was to shut her up, he told himself sternly.
That was all. She kept talking and talking and I couldn't get a word in
edgewise. I had to do *something*. And it wasn't because I was angry. He
closed his eyes. But if I wasn't angry, why did I kiss her?
Carly sat down on the window seat in her room. She curled her feet
underneath her and stared out the window. In the distance she could see
Sonny standing on the beach. She sighed heavily and pushed back a strand of
hair that fell across her face.
Sonny and that damn kiss. She couldn't get it out of her mind. Why did I
let him do it? And most importantly, why did I enjoy it? If only I hadn't
pushed him. She touched the windowpane and watched as Sonny crouched down
in the sand. But I did push him and we did kiss. So what are we going to do
now? And how much did one little kiss change things?