Sonny's hands dug into her arms as he gripped her tight. Carly whispered. "Sonny, you're hurting me."
She could see that he was still trapped in his dream. He wasn't aware of the fact that she was there. She spoke softly but firmly. "Sonny, let go of me. Look at me, Sonny. It's Carly."
"Carly?" He repeated and she began to breathe easier when she saw his eyes focus on her. The wildness was gone but the sadness still lingered. He released her and Carly sat back and rubbed her arms where he held her. He ran his hands over his face. "I'm sorry, wh-what happened?"
"You were dreaming, I guess." She touched his cheek gently. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He narrowed his eyes. He gestured to her arms. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
She shook her head and lied. "I'm okay, really."
"You shouldn't have come in here." He pushed back the covers and walked away from her. Carly watched him stalk over the windows and stare out.
"I wanted to see if you were hungry." She toyed with the sheet and murmured. "And I heard you call my name…and Angel's."
"It was just a dream." He shrugged. He didn't want to dwell on it. The feeling of lost that came over him when he realized that Angel was gone was one thing. But the fact that he felt the same thing when he thought Carly was gone…
"Looks like tonight was a big one for dreams." She muttered.
"What?" He turned to face her.
"You dreamed about Angel." She stated.
"Yeah." He leaned back against the window and closed his eyes but not before she saw the haunted look in them. She got off the bed and slowly walked over to him. She reached out to touch his arm. "Sonny."
He jerked away and returned to the bed. "I don't want to talk about it Carly."
Carly wrapped her arms around her middle. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" He sat on the edge of the bed.
"For thinking you were handling this better than me. I was selfish. I thought you got it all out at the penthouse and that this trip was mostly about me. In the beginning I claimed it was about you. That I was going to help *you* but then we got here and I fell apart…Instead of us helping each other, you've been taking care of me."
"Carly." Sonny groaned and covered his face with his hands. Carly walked over to the bed and kneeled between his legs. She took his hands and pulled them away.
"I'm sorry, Sonny. I didn't do my half. I didn't help you like I was supposed to. I was too busy grieving alone," She closed her eyes and bit her lip, "when we should have been grieving *together*."
"I grieved, Carly." He insisted.
"When? Here, alone at night after you dealt with my demons?" Carly cupped his face with both hands and stared into his eyes. "Sonny, it's your turn."
He stared at her a long time before taking a shuddering breath. His voice broke as he said, "I miss our baby."
Tears welled up in her eyes and she nodded slowly. "I know, so do I."
"I never got to spend any time with you while pregnant. I never felt her move inside of you."
Carly looked away as she remembered the one time she was going to let him touch her stomach.
** She absentmindedly rubbed her stomach comforting herself and the baby. Sonny studied the way her hand moved up and down. Carly looked up and caught the longing look on his face. She rolled her eyes, oh for goodness sake. He looked like he was a little boy and she had his ice cream cone.
She sighed dramatically and said, "Sonny."
"Huh?" He glanced up.
"Would you like to…" She paused, took off her seat belt, and twisted in the seat to face him. "Feel the baby?"
She watched as a light came on in his eyes as he tried to hide his glee. Carly was taken aback at how happy he was at the prospect of just touching her stomach. Sonny couldn't believe that he was about to finally get a chance to feel something that he helped create.
"Well, I…sure." He shrugged and slowly stretched out his hand.
"Oh, just do it." She snapped.
She grabbed his hand and was just about to lay it on her stomach when the car was suddenly hit from behind. **
When she looked back up at Sonny she could tell that he was remembering it also. She stroked the side of his face. "Sonny."
He grabbed her hand and pressed it against his mouth. He murmured. "Do you know…no other pain can compare to this. One minute there was a baby just waiting for us and the next she was gone."
Carly jumped up and wrapped her arms around him. He crushed her to him and buried his face in her hair. He said. "We never got a chance…"
She soothingly rubbed his back. "I know. But Sonny, you were right, we can't let this control the rest of our lives."
Sonny leaned back and studied her. She continued, "Like you I had a dream about Angel. It was one of those message dreams and I didn't get at first. Then I figured it out and it was a message that I didn't want hear but I had to."
"Don't talk around it, Carly, just say it."
She sighed. "Angel wants us to be happy. This isn't the end of our lives. Sonny, we have to move on."
"Now it's your turn to tell me to move on?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, you had your turn to tell me to have fun." She countered.
"I…I think we should go back to bed." He suggested, his voice low. She looked at him startled, the memory of the kiss they shared suddenly coming to her. He clarified for her, "Alone, separately."
"I knew that." She nodded and stepped away from him. "I'll see you in the morning. Think about what I said, okay?"
He nodded and Carly quickly left the room all thoughts of eating completely gone. Sonny lay back on the bed and stared at the door she exited through. He had an urge to call her back and ask her to lay next to him. Only until he fell asleep of course. She was surprisingly comforting that's all. He groaned and punched his pillow. It was a long time before he finally fell asleep.
~*~*~
The next morning Sonny sat on the deck staring out at the surf. His hands were wrapped around a cup of coffee. Carly shook her head as she studied him through her shades. This was becoming a habit. She sat down next to him. "You slept late."
He shrugged and said without looking at her. "I had a little trouble going to sleep last night."
"Angel?" She reached out to touch him and he flinched. She raised an eyebrow. He was touchy for some reason.
"No, it wasn't Angel. I had some other things on my mind." You, he added silently. Carly stayed on his mind the whole night.
"Well, I had an idea." She ignored his attitude.
He looked up at the sky. "Heaven help us."
She scowled. "Shut up. I thought that maybe we could," she looked down at the ground, "I don't know, do something fun. For Angel. She wants us to be happy, Sonny."
"I'm…happy." He murmured.
"No you're not and neither am I. But today we're going to have fun." She stated firmly.
"Well don't sound so enthusiastic." He muttered.
She jumped up. "You're not helping at all. Put down that damn coffee cup, get your lazy ass out of that chair, and let's go have *fun*!"
He chuckled in spite of himself. He placed the cup on the floor and crisply saluted her. "Aye, aye captain!"
"Don't be a smart ass."
"So where do we start?"
"Yesterday we walked. Let's try that." She stepped off the deck.
He followed her. "Okay but no movie talk this time."
"Hey you're the one who brought up sequels. I merely stated my opinion." She turned to face him, walking backwards in the sand. Unfortunately walking backward in sand wasn't as easy as it looked. She stumbled over her feet and fell on her backside. "Damn!"
Sonny stifled a grin and went to help her. "You okay?" He stood over her and extended a hand.
"It's not funny." She muttered as she grabbed his hand.
"Sweetheart, from my point of view, it was." He laughed. He started to pull her up.
Carly growled. "That's it." She yanked hard on his hand and he went crashing down beside her. She scrambled to her feet, stuck out her tongue, and laughed, "Ha! How you like them apples?"
Sonny rolled over and faced her, his eyes filled with rage. Carly's laughter slowly faded away as she took a step back. "Uh, Sonny…"
"Carly…" His voice was low and threatening.
"Oh boy. Now Sonny, don't do anything rash…"
He stared at her. "You pulled me down…"
Carly took another step back with her hands held up in front of her. "You make a good point however…you're not going to catch me!"
Carly took off running down the beach shrieking with laughter. Sonny got up and followed behind her. Once she neared the surf Sonny tackled her and they both went tumbling into the water.
"Sonny!" She sat up, spitting water and sand out of her mouth. He shook his head laughing at the image she presented. She was completely soaked. "That was unfair."
"You knocked me down." He grinned as he splashed her playfully.
"You laughed at me." She splashed back.
"Because it was funny! You said you wanted me to have fun." He retaliated by pushing her over. Carly caught herself before she could hit the water again.
"You thought it was funny huh?" Carly pushed a wet strand of hair out of her face.
"It was damn funny." He nodded.
"Well," She stood up and looked down at him, "I'm going to go inside and take a shower. You can stay out here and enjoy your memory of me making a fool of myself."
"Carly?" Sonny watched as she started to march away. She wasn't serious was she? He barely got a chance to think about it before she suddenly jumped at him. She had waited to catch him off guard and she took her opportunity.
Sonny fell backwards and his arms automatically wrapped around Carly. He rolled them over in the water twice before they ended up with her underneath him. He chuckled. "You're a nut."
"Thanks." She laughed and looked up into his eyes.
Their laughter slowly faded away as they continued to stare into each other's eyes. Sonny smoothed a lock of her hair behind her ears. Carly slowly licked her lips and Sonny stared at them intently the whole time. He remembered what those lips felt and tasted like. A large wave crashed over them and brought them back to reality. Carly cleared her throat and Sonny looked away.
"The last time I had this much fun," Carly paused, "It was here. The day before we went back to Port Charles. We were on the beach, playing the water. Me, Michael, and-"
"Johnny, I know." Sonny said gruffly. He stood up abruptly.
Carly followed him. "Yeah, with Johnny. How'd you know?"
"I was uh, up there." He pointed at the beach house. "I saw you fall and he rushed over before I could react. Then you two started playing around."
Carly wrapped her arms around her waist with a slight smile. It was her last happy memory with the baby. "Yeah, we had a lot of fun."
Sonny shoved his hands into his pockets, ignoring the fact that they were just as wet as his pants. He clinched his jaw. "I could tell. You were very…relaxed with Johnny. You always are."
She shrugged. "He's my friend. We're friendly."
"I know. I've seen the two of you together." He grumbled. He remembered seeing Carly feeding Johnny.
Carly studied him closely. What was that about? Her eyes widened as she realized what it was. She started to laugh. She said half-joking, "Sonny, you aren't jealous of me and Johnny are you?"
"What?" He snapped. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would I be jealous?"
"Right, right. I mean, Johnny's your guard and me? I'm nothing."
"You're not 'nothing'." He said quickly.
"Maybe not nothing but other than Angel, I don't mean anything to you." She shrugged.
He frowned at her. "You-" He broke off and ran his hand through his hair. "Let's go out."
"Excuse me?" The sudden change in conversation confused her. "What?"
"Let's go somewhere. Into town, take a look around, maybe get some dinner?" He suggested.
"Okay." She said slowly. "I gotta take a shower though. It feels like half the beach is in my hair."
"I'll meet you in the living room in twenty minutes?"
"Thirty." She said and started up the beach. Sonny stared after her. He scowled and shoved his hands into his hair. Jealous? Really, why would he be jealous of Johnny at all? He was just her friend. And like she said, other than Angel, she was nothing to him…
~*~*~
"Okay, we are stopping here." Sonny steered Carly into a café, later that day.
It was dimly lit and very small. It was off the main street, an obvious hideaway known only to locals. Sonny spotted it after Carly led him down the street in search of a small boutique. Sonny looked around the café. The décor was hard to make it out because of the lighting. It was all dark red and black. The tables had candles that cast an intimate glow around the patrons. The tables surrounded a small dance floor. A piano was set up and man sat at it playing softly.
"But I just want to check out that boutique. I want to get Bobbie something." Carly pointed at the store across the street.
"You already have something for Bobbie." Sonny gestured at the many bags she carried. What started as a casual stroll through the city turned into a shopping frenzy. Carly *had* to get gifts for Michael, Bobbie and Johnny. She even picked up a few things for Sonny despite his objections.
"But they may have a scarf…" Carly looked longingly at the store.
"*After* we eat, all right?" He didn't wait for her confirmation. He turned to the waitress. "Two."
"Right this way." She led them over to small empty table in the corner. Sonny obligingly pulled out her seat and Carly arranged her bags around her feet. She tossed her hair back and looked up at the waitress. Her eyes widened. "Uh…"
The waitress was the woman from the doctor's office. She smiled gently at Carly. "I thought it was you but I wasn't sure."
Sonny looked at them. "You know each other?"
"We met at the doctor's." Carly told him.
"How are you?" She said softly.
"I'm…better." Carly said.
"That's good to hear. It told you things would get better. And it's good of you and your husband to try getting out and doing things. That always helps."
"Oh, he's not-"
"We're not married." Sonny jumped in.
"Oh. Still it's good that you two have each other to lean on. I don't know what I would have done without my Julio…" She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry, listen to me going on. Would you like a drink before you order?"
"Why don't you bring us today's special?" Sonny smiled. "Wait, it's not fish is it? Carly doesn't eat fish." Carly looked down at the table and smiled. She didn't think he would remember something so trivial.
She shook her head. "No it's not."
"Two specials then. If it's alright with you?" He glanced at Carly. She nodded. "It's fine."
She nodded and left. Sonny turned to Carly. "You talked to her about Angel?"
Carly played with her napkin. "We met at the office. She had the most beautiful baby…" Sonny reached out and touched her hand. "She understood about Angel. We had a little talk and she gave me hope which I needed."
"We both need it." Sonny murmured.
Carly swallowed. "Okay, that's enough for right now. We are going to sit here and enjoy our dinner and afterwards we're going to head into the shop and get Bobbie that scarf."
He shook his head. "Okay."
The rest of the meal passed by uneventfully. They discussed the things they saw that day and how delicious dinner was. The waitress returned to check on them. "Would you like dessert?"
"Oh, no we really should get going." Carly said regretfully.
"You can't. We have a very special singer here tonight. You should stay. Her voice is very lovely." The woman told them.
Carly looked over at Sonny with a question in her eyes. He shrugged. "We might as well. Could you bring me a cup of coffee?"
"Make that two." Carly said. The woman beamed at them. "I'll be right back with them."
"Today was…good." Carly said to him.
He nodded. "I had a good time."
"Despite me, you mean."
"Because of you." He took her hand in his and stared into her eyes. Behind them a woman approached the piano and leaned against it. She nodded at the piano player and she began to sing low.
**It makes sense that it should happen this way
That the sky should break,
And the earth should shake
As if to say:
Sure it all matters but in such an unimportant way
As if to say: **
** Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly fly away
Nothing can stand in your way sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know you'd say:
Fly away **
A few couples stood up and went onto the dance floor. Sonny nodded towards them. "You want to?"
"With an invitation like that…" Carly murmured.
Sonny stood up, took her hand in his and led her on to the floor. He held her gently in his arms. Carly hesitated before laying her head on his shoulder. He took in a deep breath and tightened his arms around her. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the feeling of holding her in his arms.
**It makes sense that it should hurt in this way
That my heart should break and
My hands should shake-as if to say:
Sure it don't matter except in the most important way
As if to say: **
**Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly fly away
I won't stand in your way sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know that you'd say:
Fly fly away **
They swayed slightly to the music. The singer's gentle voice wrapped them and the other couples into a hazy spell. Sonny rubbed his hands up and down Carly's back. Carly took a shuddering breath. Sonny leaned back to look at her.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly.
She shook her head. "I…I started to think about Angel. I was doing so well today and I just… I know I should be happy that she's in a better place and I'm ridiculous for getting worked up over a baby that hadn't even been born and-"
"Hey," He said gently and touched her chin to make her look at him. "It's okay, you know. It doesn't matter that we never got to hold her or anything, you were connected to her. She was a part of you and you loved her. That's all that matters."
"I know." She murmured and hugged him tightly. "Thank you."
"I was only helping. Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing down here? Helping each other?" He said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Of course." She smiled a little. He impulsively reached out and traced her smile with his finger. She caught her breath.
** It makes sense that it should feel this way
That you slowly fade and yet
Still remains-as if to say:
Everything matters in such an invisible way
As if to say it's ok
Fly away **
He moistened his lips. "Maybe we-"
"Should go?" She finished for him. She nodded. "I'm a little tired. I think we did a little too much today."
"What about Bobbie's scarf?" He said after a moment.
Carly shrugged. "I got her enough things."
"Okay…" Sonny guided her back to their table were they collected their things and paid the bill, leaving a generous tip for the waitress. She came over when she saw them packing up.
"You're leaving?" She said disappointed.
"Yes, but we had a wonderful time." Carly smiled at her. She suddenly hugged the woman on impulse. "Thank you."
~*~*~
After they returned to the house they went their separate ways. Sonny went into his room and Carly went to take another shower. Sonny went through the bags of things that Carly brought him. He shook his head as he took out the tie she brought. It was flashy and a little too showy for him. She knew that and got it anyway. It wasn't understated like the ties he'd seen her get Johnny. Johnny. Sonny crushed the tie in his hand. Just a mention of the guard put him in a bad mood. If he weren't careful Carly would have good cause to accuse him of being jealous.
Sonny shook his head to clear those thoughts away and reached into the bag again. He brought up a handful of lacy undergarments. He flushed as he stared at them. Looked like Carly did a little shopping for herself when he wasn't paying attention. He spread one out on his hand. It was a little scrap of black lace. It would barely cover what it was supposed. He immediately envisioned Carly wearing it. He groaned and closed his eyes. He had to get this out of here. He threw the underwear back into the bag and carried it out of his room.
"Carly?" Sonny knocked lightly on her door then opened it just as she walked out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. She jumped when she saw him.
"Damn it, Sonny, what are you doing in here?" She snapped to cover her surprise. It was bad enough she couldn't get him out of her mind during her shower.
"I…" His eyes roved over her. The skimpy towel she wore barely concealed her. A smile slowly appeared on his face. He dropped the bag on the floor. "I forget."
"Then come back when you remember." She snapped and pointed at the door. "Go!"
"Your, uh, your towel is slipping." Sonny pointed out.
"What?" She scrambled to hold it up.
Sonny slowly approached her. He should be truthful and just admit it to himself that this had been in the back of his mind for a long time now. And now was the time to act on it. "Let me get that for you."
He grasped the middle of it used it to tugged her closer to him. She stumbled forward and looked searchingly into his eyes. "Sonny?"
"Shush." He murmured before covering her mouth with his. Her mouth was surprisingly warm and she tasted like the after dinner mint she had at the café. He cupped her face and moaned. Carly started to respond but caught herself.
Carly pushed him back and held her towel together tightly. She panted. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Kissing you." He said simply. He reached out for her again but she backed up.
She shook her head furiously. She couldn't let this happen again. The last thing she needed in her life was to make this mistake again. No matter how tempting it was. She grabbed onto the first excuse she could think of. "Was that supposed to teach me some lesson? Or to prove a point?"
"A point?" He repeated. "What 'point' am I supposed to be making?"
"The…the other day, remember!" She sputtered. "You said you didn't have to be angry to kiss me."
He laughed. "I don't…that wasn't about me proving a point."
"Then what was it?" She demanded.
"It was me wanting you. And you wanting me." His dark eyes stared intently into hers. Carly shivered from the heat of it and took another step back. Sonny advanced on her slowly. He trailed a finger down her wet arm. "Don't deny it, Carly."
"I'm denying anything." She lied.
"This time, it'll be about us. No one else. I'm not trying to prove anything; you aren't reacting to something else, no outside causes, Carly. Just you and me. We aren't hurting anyone else."
"I…"
"You think too much." He murmured as he gently cupped her face.
She smirked. "Not thinking is what got us in the situation."
"It's not going to hurt us this time though." He rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip. She impulsively nipped at it. He smiled. "I take that it, that's a yes?"
"That's a 'just for tonight'." She told him.
"I didn't say anything about tomorrow." He warned her.
"Who's thinking about tomorrow?" She raised an eyebrow and took a step back. She dropped her towel and kicked it away when it hit the floor. "Well?"
"Come here." He took her hand and lead over to the bed.
~*~*~
The next morning Carly woke with the feeling that someone was watching her. She slowly opened her eyes. Sonny was lying next to her, his head propped up on his arm, staring at her intently. Finding him still in her bed was something she hadn't been prepared for. She was torn between being happy because he stayed and afraid because he stayed. The happiness was because she didn't want to wake up alone. The fear was because last night changed everything. They made promises about tomorrow but him staying obviously violating them.
She was all confused inside about this. She didn't know what to say so she nervously licked her lips and looked away.
"I wondered how long you would sleep." He murmured.
"I…It's time to get up." She shrugged and quickly left the bed. She grabbed her robe and covered herself. She turned to face the window.
Sonny stared after her in confusion. "Carly?"
"I think it's time we left, don't you?" She said suddenly.
He frowned and sat up. "What are you talking about?"
She ran her hands through her hair. "I thought about it and we've accomplished what we came down here to do right? I mean, I'm…better and so are you. Angel will always be here." She tapped her heart. "But I have to get back to the real world and I miss Michael and Bobbie."
"The real world." He nodded and lay back against the pillows. He rubbed his hands over his face a couple of times. "All right. If that's what you really want to do."
"That's what I want." She folded her arms across her chest. In reality it was the last thing she wanted. What she really wanted to do was crawl back into that bed with him, pull the covers up over them and forget the world outside. But he made it clear last night that it was just a one-time thing and she wasn't going to make a fool of herself by asking for more. She bit her lip. "Isn't that what you want also?"
He looked up at her and stared into her eyes. It was a long time before he looked away. He got out of bed and picked up his clothes off the floor. "I'll have the plane ready to go by tonight."
He quickly strode out of the room leaving Carly alone and hurt. Why did she think he would actually say he wanted to stay?
~*~*~
Bobbie and Johnny met them at the airport. Bobbie hugged Carly. She pushed a lock of hair back as she studied her daughter. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She swore. "I brought presents!"
"Carly," Bobbie shook her head. "I don't need any presents. I was worried about you."
"Nobody really *needs* presents." Carly brushed off her concern. She smiled up at Johnny. "I got you some new ties."
"Great." He smiled back.
Bobbie turned to Sonny since Carly wasn't answering her. "How'd it go on the island? Did you guys connect?"
Sonny paused before answering. He stroked his chin and glanced at Carly before shrugging. "Yeah, we uh, connected."
"Things are *fine* now, Mama." Carly said before Sonny could anything else to his comment.
"Did you come with Johnny?" Sonny asked Bobbie. "I could drop you two off at the Brownstone?"
"That would be great." Bobbie smiled.
"We should get our bags." Carly suddenly said. "The quicker we get them, the quicker we get home and Sonny and I won't have to see each other again."
"Carly!" Bobbie admonished her.
Sonny said softly. "Is that what you want?"
Carly spun around and lied to his face. "Yes. Help with the bags, Johnny." The guard trailed after Carly. He looked back once at Sonny. He winced at the hurt look in Sonny's eyes. He hurried to follow after Carly who had to find hard against looking back.
Song credit, Fly Away by Poe
She could see that he was still trapped in his dream. He wasn't aware of the fact that she was there. She spoke softly but firmly. "Sonny, let go of me. Look at me, Sonny. It's Carly."
"Carly?" He repeated and she began to breathe easier when she saw his eyes focus on her. The wildness was gone but the sadness still lingered. He released her and Carly sat back and rubbed her arms where he held her. He ran his hands over his face. "I'm sorry, wh-what happened?"
"You were dreaming, I guess." She touched his cheek gently. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." He narrowed his eyes. He gestured to her arms. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"
She shook her head and lied. "I'm okay, really."
"You shouldn't have come in here." He pushed back the covers and walked away from her. Carly watched him stalk over the windows and stare out.
"I wanted to see if you were hungry." She toyed with the sheet and murmured. "And I heard you call my name…and Angel's."
"It was just a dream." He shrugged. He didn't want to dwell on it. The feeling of lost that came over him when he realized that Angel was gone was one thing. But the fact that he felt the same thing when he thought Carly was gone…
"Looks like tonight was a big one for dreams." She muttered.
"What?" He turned to face her.
"You dreamed about Angel." She stated.
"Yeah." He leaned back against the window and closed his eyes but not before she saw the haunted look in them. She got off the bed and slowly walked over to him. She reached out to touch his arm. "Sonny."
He jerked away and returned to the bed. "I don't want to talk about it Carly."
Carly wrapped her arms around her middle. "I'm sorry."
"For what?" He sat on the edge of the bed.
"For thinking you were handling this better than me. I was selfish. I thought you got it all out at the penthouse and that this trip was mostly about me. In the beginning I claimed it was about you. That I was going to help *you* but then we got here and I fell apart…Instead of us helping each other, you've been taking care of me."
"Carly." Sonny groaned and covered his face with his hands. Carly walked over to the bed and kneeled between his legs. She took his hands and pulled them away.
"I'm sorry, Sonny. I didn't do my half. I didn't help you like I was supposed to. I was too busy grieving alone," She closed her eyes and bit her lip, "when we should have been grieving *together*."
"I grieved, Carly." He insisted.
"When? Here, alone at night after you dealt with my demons?" Carly cupped his face with both hands and stared into his eyes. "Sonny, it's your turn."
He stared at her a long time before taking a shuddering breath. His voice broke as he said, "I miss our baby."
Tears welled up in her eyes and she nodded slowly. "I know, so do I."
"I never got to spend any time with you while pregnant. I never felt her move inside of you."
Carly looked away as she remembered the one time she was going to let him touch her stomach.
** She absentmindedly rubbed her stomach comforting herself and the baby. Sonny studied the way her hand moved up and down. Carly looked up and caught the longing look on his face. She rolled her eyes, oh for goodness sake. He looked like he was a little boy and she had his ice cream cone.
She sighed dramatically and said, "Sonny."
"Huh?" He glanced up.
"Would you like to…" She paused, took off her seat belt, and twisted in the seat to face him. "Feel the baby?"
She watched as a light came on in his eyes as he tried to hide his glee. Carly was taken aback at how happy he was at the prospect of just touching her stomach. Sonny couldn't believe that he was about to finally get a chance to feel something that he helped create.
"Well, I…sure." He shrugged and slowly stretched out his hand.
"Oh, just do it." She snapped.
She grabbed his hand and was just about to lay it on her stomach when the car was suddenly hit from behind. **
When she looked back up at Sonny she could tell that he was remembering it also. She stroked the side of his face. "Sonny."
He grabbed her hand and pressed it against his mouth. He murmured. "Do you know…no other pain can compare to this. One minute there was a baby just waiting for us and the next she was gone."
Carly jumped up and wrapped her arms around him. He crushed her to him and buried his face in her hair. He said. "We never got a chance…"
She soothingly rubbed his back. "I know. But Sonny, you were right, we can't let this control the rest of our lives."
Sonny leaned back and studied her. She continued, "Like you I had a dream about Angel. It was one of those message dreams and I didn't get at first. Then I figured it out and it was a message that I didn't want hear but I had to."
"Don't talk around it, Carly, just say it."
She sighed. "Angel wants us to be happy. This isn't the end of our lives. Sonny, we have to move on."
"Now it's your turn to tell me to move on?" He raised an eyebrow.
"Hey, you had your turn to tell me to have fun." She countered.
"I…I think we should go back to bed." He suggested, his voice low. She looked at him startled, the memory of the kiss they shared suddenly coming to her. He clarified for her, "Alone, separately."
"I knew that." She nodded and stepped away from him. "I'll see you in the morning. Think about what I said, okay?"
He nodded and Carly quickly left the room all thoughts of eating completely gone. Sonny lay back on the bed and stared at the door she exited through. He had an urge to call her back and ask her to lay next to him. Only until he fell asleep of course. She was surprisingly comforting that's all. He groaned and punched his pillow. It was a long time before he finally fell asleep.
~*~*~
The next morning Sonny sat on the deck staring out at the surf. His hands were wrapped around a cup of coffee. Carly shook her head as she studied him through her shades. This was becoming a habit. She sat down next to him. "You slept late."
He shrugged and said without looking at her. "I had a little trouble going to sleep last night."
"Angel?" She reached out to touch him and he flinched. She raised an eyebrow. He was touchy for some reason.
"No, it wasn't Angel. I had some other things on my mind." You, he added silently. Carly stayed on his mind the whole night.
"Well, I had an idea." She ignored his attitude.
He looked up at the sky. "Heaven help us."
She scowled. "Shut up. I thought that maybe we could," she looked down at the ground, "I don't know, do something fun. For Angel. She wants us to be happy, Sonny."
"I'm…happy." He murmured.
"No you're not and neither am I. But today we're going to have fun." She stated firmly.
"Well don't sound so enthusiastic." He muttered.
She jumped up. "You're not helping at all. Put down that damn coffee cup, get your lazy ass out of that chair, and let's go have *fun*!"
He chuckled in spite of himself. He placed the cup on the floor and crisply saluted her. "Aye, aye captain!"
"Don't be a smart ass."
"So where do we start?"
"Yesterday we walked. Let's try that." She stepped off the deck.
He followed her. "Okay but no movie talk this time."
"Hey you're the one who brought up sequels. I merely stated my opinion." She turned to face him, walking backwards in the sand. Unfortunately walking backward in sand wasn't as easy as it looked. She stumbled over her feet and fell on her backside. "Damn!"
Sonny stifled a grin and went to help her. "You okay?" He stood over her and extended a hand.
"It's not funny." She muttered as she grabbed his hand.
"Sweetheart, from my point of view, it was." He laughed. He started to pull her up.
Carly growled. "That's it." She yanked hard on his hand and he went crashing down beside her. She scrambled to her feet, stuck out her tongue, and laughed, "Ha! How you like them apples?"
Sonny rolled over and faced her, his eyes filled with rage. Carly's laughter slowly faded away as she took a step back. "Uh, Sonny…"
"Carly…" His voice was low and threatening.
"Oh boy. Now Sonny, don't do anything rash…"
He stared at her. "You pulled me down…"
Carly took another step back with her hands held up in front of her. "You make a good point however…you're not going to catch me!"
Carly took off running down the beach shrieking with laughter. Sonny got up and followed behind her. Once she neared the surf Sonny tackled her and they both went tumbling into the water.
"Sonny!" She sat up, spitting water and sand out of her mouth. He shook his head laughing at the image she presented. She was completely soaked. "That was unfair."
"You knocked me down." He grinned as he splashed her playfully.
"You laughed at me." She splashed back.
"Because it was funny! You said you wanted me to have fun." He retaliated by pushing her over. Carly caught herself before she could hit the water again.
"You thought it was funny huh?" Carly pushed a wet strand of hair out of her face.
"It was damn funny." He nodded.
"Well," She stood up and looked down at him, "I'm going to go inside and take a shower. You can stay out here and enjoy your memory of me making a fool of myself."
"Carly?" Sonny watched as she started to march away. She wasn't serious was she? He barely got a chance to think about it before she suddenly jumped at him. She had waited to catch him off guard and she took her opportunity.
Sonny fell backwards and his arms automatically wrapped around Carly. He rolled them over in the water twice before they ended up with her underneath him. He chuckled. "You're a nut."
"Thanks." She laughed and looked up into his eyes.
Their laughter slowly faded away as they continued to stare into each other's eyes. Sonny smoothed a lock of her hair behind her ears. Carly slowly licked her lips and Sonny stared at them intently the whole time. He remembered what those lips felt and tasted like. A large wave crashed over them and brought them back to reality. Carly cleared her throat and Sonny looked away.
"The last time I had this much fun," Carly paused, "It was here. The day before we went back to Port Charles. We were on the beach, playing the water. Me, Michael, and-"
"Johnny, I know." Sonny said gruffly. He stood up abruptly.
Carly followed him. "Yeah, with Johnny. How'd you know?"
"I was uh, up there." He pointed at the beach house. "I saw you fall and he rushed over before I could react. Then you two started playing around."
Carly wrapped her arms around her waist with a slight smile. It was her last happy memory with the baby. "Yeah, we had a lot of fun."
Sonny shoved his hands into his pockets, ignoring the fact that they were just as wet as his pants. He clinched his jaw. "I could tell. You were very…relaxed with Johnny. You always are."
She shrugged. "He's my friend. We're friendly."
"I know. I've seen the two of you together." He grumbled. He remembered seeing Carly feeding Johnny.
Carly studied him closely. What was that about? Her eyes widened as she realized what it was. She started to laugh. She said half-joking, "Sonny, you aren't jealous of me and Johnny are you?"
"What?" He snapped. "Don't be ridiculous. Why would I be jealous?"
"Right, right. I mean, Johnny's your guard and me? I'm nothing."
"You're not 'nothing'." He said quickly.
"Maybe not nothing but other than Angel, I don't mean anything to you." She shrugged.
He frowned at her. "You-" He broke off and ran his hand through his hair. "Let's go out."
"Excuse me?" The sudden change in conversation confused her. "What?"
"Let's go somewhere. Into town, take a look around, maybe get some dinner?" He suggested.
"Okay." She said slowly. "I gotta take a shower though. It feels like half the beach is in my hair."
"I'll meet you in the living room in twenty minutes?"
"Thirty." She said and started up the beach. Sonny stared after her. He scowled and shoved his hands into his hair. Jealous? Really, why would he be jealous of Johnny at all? He was just her friend. And like she said, other than Angel, she was nothing to him…
~*~*~
"Okay, we are stopping here." Sonny steered Carly into a café, later that day.
It was dimly lit and very small. It was off the main street, an obvious hideaway known only to locals. Sonny spotted it after Carly led him down the street in search of a small boutique. Sonny looked around the café. The décor was hard to make it out because of the lighting. It was all dark red and black. The tables had candles that cast an intimate glow around the patrons. The tables surrounded a small dance floor. A piano was set up and man sat at it playing softly.
"But I just want to check out that boutique. I want to get Bobbie something." Carly pointed at the store across the street.
"You already have something for Bobbie." Sonny gestured at the many bags she carried. What started as a casual stroll through the city turned into a shopping frenzy. Carly *had* to get gifts for Michael, Bobbie and Johnny. She even picked up a few things for Sonny despite his objections.
"But they may have a scarf…" Carly looked longingly at the store.
"*After* we eat, all right?" He didn't wait for her confirmation. He turned to the waitress. "Two."
"Right this way." She led them over to small empty table in the corner. Sonny obligingly pulled out her seat and Carly arranged her bags around her feet. She tossed her hair back and looked up at the waitress. Her eyes widened. "Uh…"
The waitress was the woman from the doctor's office. She smiled gently at Carly. "I thought it was you but I wasn't sure."
Sonny looked at them. "You know each other?"
"We met at the doctor's." Carly told him.
"How are you?" She said softly.
"I'm…better." Carly said.
"That's good to hear. It told you things would get better. And it's good of you and your husband to try getting out and doing things. That always helps."
"Oh, he's not-"
"We're not married." Sonny jumped in.
"Oh. Still it's good that you two have each other to lean on. I don't know what I would have done without my Julio…" She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry, listen to me going on. Would you like a drink before you order?"
"Why don't you bring us today's special?" Sonny smiled. "Wait, it's not fish is it? Carly doesn't eat fish." Carly looked down at the table and smiled. She didn't think he would remember something so trivial.
She shook her head. "No it's not."
"Two specials then. If it's alright with you?" He glanced at Carly. She nodded. "It's fine."
She nodded and left. Sonny turned to Carly. "You talked to her about Angel?"
Carly played with her napkin. "We met at the office. She had the most beautiful baby…" Sonny reached out and touched her hand. "She understood about Angel. We had a little talk and she gave me hope which I needed."
"We both need it." Sonny murmured.
Carly swallowed. "Okay, that's enough for right now. We are going to sit here and enjoy our dinner and afterwards we're going to head into the shop and get Bobbie that scarf."
He shook his head. "Okay."
The rest of the meal passed by uneventfully. They discussed the things they saw that day and how delicious dinner was. The waitress returned to check on them. "Would you like dessert?"
"Oh, no we really should get going." Carly said regretfully.
"You can't. We have a very special singer here tonight. You should stay. Her voice is very lovely." The woman told them.
Carly looked over at Sonny with a question in her eyes. He shrugged. "We might as well. Could you bring me a cup of coffee?"
"Make that two." Carly said. The woman beamed at them. "I'll be right back with them."
"Today was…good." Carly said to him.
He nodded. "I had a good time."
"Despite me, you mean."
"Because of you." He took her hand in his and stared into her eyes. Behind them a woman approached the piano and leaned against it. She nodded at the piano player and she began to sing low.
**It makes sense that it should happen this way
That the sky should break,
And the earth should shake
As if to say:
Sure it all matters but in such an unimportant way
As if to say: **
** Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly fly away
Nothing can stand in your way sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know you'd say:
Fly away **
A few couples stood up and went onto the dance floor. Sonny nodded towards them. "You want to?"
"With an invitation like that…" Carly murmured.
Sonny stood up, took her hand in his and led her on to the floor. He held her gently in his arms. Carly hesitated before laying her head on his shoulder. He took in a deep breath and tightened his arms around her. He closed his eyes and let himself enjoy the feeling of holding her in his arms.
**It makes sense that it should hurt in this way
That my heart should break and
My hands should shake-as if to say:
Sure it don't matter except in the most important way
As if to say: **
**Fly away
Sweet bird of prey
Fly fly away
I won't stand in your way sweet bird
If you knew the words
I know that you'd say:
Fly fly away **
They swayed slightly to the music. The singer's gentle voice wrapped them and the other couples into a hazy spell. Sonny rubbed his hands up and down Carly's back. Carly took a shuddering breath. Sonny leaned back to look at her.
"Are you okay?" He asked softly.
She shook her head. "I…I started to think about Angel. I was doing so well today and I just… I know I should be happy that she's in a better place and I'm ridiculous for getting worked up over a baby that hadn't even been born and-"
"Hey," He said gently and touched her chin to make her look at him. "It's okay, you know. It doesn't matter that we never got to hold her or anything, you were connected to her. She was a part of you and you loved her. That's all that matters."
"I know." She murmured and hugged him tightly. "Thank you."
"I was only helping. Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing down here? Helping each other?" He said with a twinkle in his eye.
"Of course." She smiled a little. He impulsively reached out and traced her smile with his finger. She caught her breath.
** It makes sense that it should feel this way
That you slowly fade and yet
Still remains-as if to say:
Everything matters in such an invisible way
As if to say it's ok
Fly away **
He moistened his lips. "Maybe we-"
"Should go?" She finished for him. She nodded. "I'm a little tired. I think we did a little too much today."
"What about Bobbie's scarf?" He said after a moment.
Carly shrugged. "I got her enough things."
"Okay…" Sonny guided her back to their table were they collected their things and paid the bill, leaving a generous tip for the waitress. She came over when she saw them packing up.
"You're leaving?" She said disappointed.
"Yes, but we had a wonderful time." Carly smiled at her. She suddenly hugged the woman on impulse. "Thank you."
~*~*~
After they returned to the house they went their separate ways. Sonny went into his room and Carly went to take another shower. Sonny went through the bags of things that Carly brought him. He shook his head as he took out the tie she brought. It was flashy and a little too showy for him. She knew that and got it anyway. It wasn't understated like the ties he'd seen her get Johnny. Johnny. Sonny crushed the tie in his hand. Just a mention of the guard put him in a bad mood. If he weren't careful Carly would have good cause to accuse him of being jealous.
Sonny shook his head to clear those thoughts away and reached into the bag again. He brought up a handful of lacy undergarments. He flushed as he stared at them. Looked like Carly did a little shopping for herself when he wasn't paying attention. He spread one out on his hand. It was a little scrap of black lace. It would barely cover what it was supposed. He immediately envisioned Carly wearing it. He groaned and closed his eyes. He had to get this out of here. He threw the underwear back into the bag and carried it out of his room.
"Carly?" Sonny knocked lightly on her door then opened it just as she walked out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. She jumped when she saw him.
"Damn it, Sonny, what are you doing in here?" She snapped to cover her surprise. It was bad enough she couldn't get him out of her mind during her shower.
"I…" His eyes roved over her. The skimpy towel she wore barely concealed her. A smile slowly appeared on his face. He dropped the bag on the floor. "I forget."
"Then come back when you remember." She snapped and pointed at the door. "Go!"
"Your, uh, your towel is slipping." Sonny pointed out.
"What?" She scrambled to hold it up.
Sonny slowly approached her. He should be truthful and just admit it to himself that this had been in the back of his mind for a long time now. And now was the time to act on it. "Let me get that for you."
He grasped the middle of it used it to tugged her closer to him. She stumbled forward and looked searchingly into his eyes. "Sonny?"
"Shush." He murmured before covering her mouth with his. Her mouth was surprisingly warm and she tasted like the after dinner mint she had at the café. He cupped her face and moaned. Carly started to respond but caught herself.
Carly pushed him back and held her towel together tightly. She panted. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Kissing you." He said simply. He reached out for her again but she backed up.
She shook her head furiously. She couldn't let this happen again. The last thing she needed in her life was to make this mistake again. No matter how tempting it was. She grabbed onto the first excuse she could think of. "Was that supposed to teach me some lesson? Or to prove a point?"
"A point?" He repeated. "What 'point' am I supposed to be making?"
"The…the other day, remember!" She sputtered. "You said you didn't have to be angry to kiss me."
He laughed. "I don't…that wasn't about me proving a point."
"Then what was it?" She demanded.
"It was me wanting you. And you wanting me." His dark eyes stared intently into hers. Carly shivered from the heat of it and took another step back. Sonny advanced on her slowly. He trailed a finger down her wet arm. "Don't deny it, Carly."
"I'm denying anything." She lied.
"This time, it'll be about us. No one else. I'm not trying to prove anything; you aren't reacting to something else, no outside causes, Carly. Just you and me. We aren't hurting anyone else."
"I…"
"You think too much." He murmured as he gently cupped her face.
She smirked. "Not thinking is what got us in the situation."
"It's not going to hurt us this time though." He rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip. She impulsively nipped at it. He smiled. "I take that it, that's a yes?"
"That's a 'just for tonight'." She told him.
"I didn't say anything about tomorrow." He warned her.
"Who's thinking about tomorrow?" She raised an eyebrow and took a step back. She dropped her towel and kicked it away when it hit the floor. "Well?"
"Come here." He took her hand and lead over to the bed.
~*~*~
The next morning Carly woke with the feeling that someone was watching her. She slowly opened her eyes. Sonny was lying next to her, his head propped up on his arm, staring at her intently. Finding him still in her bed was something she hadn't been prepared for. She was torn between being happy because he stayed and afraid because he stayed. The happiness was because she didn't want to wake up alone. The fear was because last night changed everything. They made promises about tomorrow but him staying obviously violating them.
She was all confused inside about this. She didn't know what to say so she nervously licked her lips and looked away.
"I wondered how long you would sleep." He murmured.
"I…It's time to get up." She shrugged and quickly left the bed. She grabbed her robe and covered herself. She turned to face the window.
Sonny stared after her in confusion. "Carly?"
"I think it's time we left, don't you?" She said suddenly.
He frowned and sat up. "What are you talking about?"
She ran her hands through her hair. "I thought about it and we've accomplished what we came down here to do right? I mean, I'm…better and so are you. Angel will always be here." She tapped her heart. "But I have to get back to the real world and I miss Michael and Bobbie."
"The real world." He nodded and lay back against the pillows. He rubbed his hands over his face a couple of times. "All right. If that's what you really want to do."
"That's what I want." She folded her arms across her chest. In reality it was the last thing she wanted. What she really wanted to do was crawl back into that bed with him, pull the covers up over them and forget the world outside. But he made it clear last night that it was just a one-time thing and she wasn't going to make a fool of herself by asking for more. She bit her lip. "Isn't that what you want also?"
He looked up at her and stared into her eyes. It was a long time before he looked away. He got out of bed and picked up his clothes off the floor. "I'll have the plane ready to go by tonight."
He quickly strode out of the room leaving Carly alone and hurt. Why did she think he would actually say he wanted to stay?
~*~*~
Bobbie and Johnny met them at the airport. Bobbie hugged Carly. She pushed a lock of hair back as she studied her daughter. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She swore. "I brought presents!"
"Carly," Bobbie shook her head. "I don't need any presents. I was worried about you."
"Nobody really *needs* presents." Carly brushed off her concern. She smiled up at Johnny. "I got you some new ties."
"Great." He smiled back.
Bobbie turned to Sonny since Carly wasn't answering her. "How'd it go on the island? Did you guys connect?"
Sonny paused before answering. He stroked his chin and glanced at Carly before shrugging. "Yeah, we uh, connected."
"Things are *fine* now, Mama." Carly said before Sonny could anything else to his comment.
"Did you come with Johnny?" Sonny asked Bobbie. "I could drop you two off at the Brownstone?"
"That would be great." Bobbie smiled.
"We should get our bags." Carly suddenly said. "The quicker we get them, the quicker we get home and Sonny and I won't have to see each other again."
"Carly!" Bobbie admonished her.
Sonny said softly. "Is that what you want?"
Carly spun around and lied to his face. "Yes. Help with the bags, Johnny." The guard trailed after Carly. He looked back once at Sonny. He winced at the hurt look in Sonny's eyes. He hurried to follow after Carly who had to find hard against looking back.
Song credit, Fly Away by Poe