CHAPTER I
The
Principal Office is a weird place.
I
guess that sounds kind of funny… It's,
like, the most important place in Mainframe.
That's where the core energy, is, and the command center, and Phong
lives there and he's pretty much the most important sprite around. Every time there's any trouble that's where
they always try and send me so I don't get hurt.
But
it's weird because there's so much to it – so many places that no one every
really thinks about, but they're still there.
Well, maybe Phong thinks about them but no one else does. I wonder if they'd exist if he didn't think
about them. That's weird, too… Anyway, there's all kinds of rooms and
chambers and annexes and stuff, places where hardly anyone ever goes. Except maybe Phong. Almost like it's bigger on the inside than
the outside.
But
the P.O. also feels weird to me because that's the place I think about when I
think about me being a copy. 'Cause
that's the last place I remember being before the reboot happened. And it's the first place I was afterwards,
and all that time had passed – even though I didn't know it. And it was destroyed – this huge place that
I thought would last forever and ever and nothing bad could ever happen to it –
it was destroyed and came back and I missed the whole deleted thing!
So
ever since the reboot I always felt a little tingle of weirdness whenever I
went to the P.O., just because it made me think for a nano about all that
stuff. But then Phong would come in and
start talking and I'd get lost in whatever he was saying and it would all sort
of fade away.
But
I was still kinda feeling that tingle, because I hadn't seen Phong. I hadn't really seen anyone – I walked
through the corridors for a while, just thinking. And then I went to the conservatory, because that's where I'd
been headed. But it took me a while to
get there 'cause I got lost. And the
conservatory was one of those Phong places – hardly anyone else ever went there. But that's where I wanted to go.
I
sat down on the floor and crossed my legs.
There weren't any chairs or tables or benches or anything – just
plants. Plants and little trees and big
trees and a clear dome over the top where the ceiling would be, and the glow
from the core came through and kinda lit the room in a cool way. Dot said it was the ambient light from the
core – that's what she called it. And
Phong said that's why the plants did so well, 'cause they like that special
light.
The
light was sorta soft and made me feel safe and relaxed – and there was a little
datafall, just a little thing tumbling over some rocks in the garden but it
made a really nice sound and that made me feel relaxed too. It was the only sound in the room, except I
could hear myself breathing which I never noticed when I was anywhere
else. All in all, it's a really amazing
place.
That
safe feeling stayed with me for a little while as I sat there and looked
around, but pretty soon I was thinking about other things and I guess I figured
that coming here wasn't really fixing anything, just delaying it. Maybe there's nothing wrong with that, but
it made me feel guilty, like I should've been somewhere else, not here wasting
time.
I
looked over at one little tree, and that made me feel better and worse at the
same time. It looked a lot bigger than
the last time I saw it, and that made me feel better. But I felt guilty again, like I'd been neglecting it or
something. Which made me think about
all the other stuff I'd been thinking about all cycle.
"It
is faring very well, is it not?"
"Phong! You scared me…"
"I
am sorry, My Son." Phong always made a
kind of whirring sound when he walked – or rolled… Whatever. So how he snuck
up one me I don't know. He whirred over
and stood next to me. "I am sure it is
happy to see you."
"Maybe."
I smiled. Could a directory tree be
happy to see me? "It's sure grown a
lot."
"Growth
is the way of living things. Especially
the young ones, I think. Growth and
change."
"I
guess." I never knew everything Phong
was talking about, but whenever he talked I felt like everything would be
OK. At least for a nano. "I feel like I should be taking better care
of it…"
"I
am here every cycle, Child." Phong smiled.
"It is no trouble for me to care for it, as I care for my other
botanical friends. I am most pleased to
see you here, however. My garden
receives very few visitors – that is why I have nowhere for you to sit, I
suppose. I hope you do not mind-"
"It's
cool, Phong. I like sitting on the
floor. This is a really alphanumeric
place."
"I
concur, young Guardian. I concur."
"I'm
glad my tree is doing good. I guess
this was a good place to plant it."
Phong
chuckled. It sounded a lot like the
datafall. "Perhaps you are now thinking
that it was not such a bad gift?"
"I
never thought it was a bad gift!" I protested.
"I… It was just a little weird,
that's all. Matrix didn't know any
better. He didn't know much about
presents and stuff like that."
"Perhaps
he knew more than you imagined, young Enzo.
His gift is ever growing and changing, is it not? And such a gift is a rare and special gift
indeed. Perhaps that thought was in his
processor."
"Maybe."
I smiled, looking over at the little tree.
"He's a good sprite. He does the
best he can. Believe me, I know."
"Indeed." Phong patted me on the shoulder, so lightly
I almost didn't feel it. "I think,
however, that you have not come to talk to me about Matrix today."
"Huh? What do you mean, Phong?"
He
arched an eyebrow. "Perhaps I am wrong,
Child. Perhaps you merely came here to
ruminate, to be by yourself."
I
don't know what "ruminate" means, but I picked up his drift. "I…
Maybe I didn't…"
"Indeed,
indeed. It is only that you young
sprites come to talk to me, from time to time.
When you are having difficulty processing your feelings. I thought perhaps that this was such a
time."
"Why
would you say that?" I knew as soon as
I asked it that it was a silly question.
Even a dumb sprite could tell I'd been offline, and Phong was the
furthest thing from a dumb sprite in the net.
"No
reason." He pulled his spindly hands
behind his back and whirred over to stare at the directory trees. "Call it an intuition, I suppose. A sense.
I find that sprites are often troubled during times of change – even if
it is a change for the good. Change is
never easy, especially for the young.
So you see, with your impending departure for the Guardian Academy I
thought that, perhaps, you were feeling troubled."
"I'm
OK with going to the Academy." I sighed.
"I mean… I guess I'm a little
nervous and everything, but I… I think I'm ready. I think." I walked over
and stood next to him.
"I
am sure you are correct." He turned and
smiled. "I have seen much growth in
you, My Son – and not just in physical stature. Your forays into the games with Bob have been most helpful. You are not the small sprite you were after
the reboot."
"I'm
barely 1.3…"
"Nevertheless… I have spent many hours, days even -
watching the changes in this system, in it's sprites. Your development has been most gratifying. You are a fine young sprite."
"Thanks,
Phong." I could feel myself blushing –
I never took compliments very well.
"The
war with Daemon goes well. Soon you
will be at the Academy, learning and growing in ways you cannot even
imagine. It is a remarkable time, is it
not Child?"
"I
guess so, Phong."
He
smiled again. "Still, here you
are. And indeed, this is a fine place –
suitable for consideration and reflection.
And I am in no hurry. Would you care for some tea? Cocoa?"
What
was it with him and cocoa? Like
AndrAIa and motorbikes! "No
thanks. I'm cool."
"Would
you like a sweater?"
"No! I…"
I saw the innocent little smirk on his face. Phong could be funny, but not usually when he was trying to be! I heard myself giggle. "No thanks, Phong."
"Well,
then…" He patted my shoulder again and
turned to stare at the datafall. He was
quiet for a couple of nanos. "How is
your sister coming to terms with your imminent departure, Child?"
I
stiffened when he said that. I know he
noticed. "I think she's just fine with
it, Phong."
"Indeed,
indeed. And Bob?"
I
relaxed a little. "Bob's pretty proud."
I felt myself grin. "I'm the first
student he's ever had go to the Academy."
"And
well he should be proud."
"I
can tell he's sad about me going, though.
He tries not to let on, but I can tell.
Bob's not too good about hiding his feelings and stuff."
"Not
all of us can be." Phong said
softly. He reached out and grabbed one
of the leaves on my directory tree and studied it real close for a nano or two. "Would you care to take a walk with me,
young Guardian?"
"Sure." He turned and started slowly towards the
glass doors of the conservatory, then started off down one of the long
corridors. I followed him. I had to make myself walk slower than usual
so I wouldn't dart out in front of him.
I flashed back to the time he brought me to the read-only room, all that
time ago… When I wanted to be
smarter. "Where are we going?"
He
didn't answer me – he just kind of glided along, hands behind his back. He took a turn and went off down another
corridor, then another. There was no
way I'd ever be able to find my way back without him, I knew that. We were in a part of the P.O. I'd never seen
before.
Finally,
he stopped in front of a kind of small, plain looking door. He palmed the little sensor to the right of
it, and it slid open. He whirred
inside. "Here we are…"
"Where?" I looked around. The room was bare except for a small command console in the
center. "What is this place?"
Phong
looked around and smiled. "Did you know
that everything that happens in Mainframe is logged in a temporary
directory? Until the system in upgraded
or rebooted?"
"Dude! Really?"
"Mmm-hmm. The records are retained as .TMP files –
until, as I say, the system is rebooted or upgraded. This room is the repository for those .TMP files."
"Really?" I craned my neck and look up at the ceiling,
at all the walls. "It doesn't look like
much, Phong. Not like the archives or anything. This is a puny little hut!"
"Perhaps."
He said softly. He drummed his fingers
on the console. "It occurred to me,
long ago, that these files could be a useful tool for assessing the status of
the city - for spotting tears in uninhabited areas, perhaps, or searching for
anomalies undetected by the security protocols. The material is extensive – I could spend all of my waking
seconds reviewing it. So I restrict
myself to the areas of possible danger – the empty sectors, the shore of the
data sea, the edge of the city, anywhere that an invasion could come from or a
danger be undetected. Whenever I find
anything of interest, I transfer it to a portable storage device for future
review."
"Huh!" Yet another thing I never knew about. "Did you ever find anything useful?"
"On
occasion. I have detected a tear or
two, a few other interesting anomalies.
Your sister is aware that I review these files, of course – as well as
your older brother and Bob."
"Why
are you showing me? I mean –
thanks, and everything, but…"
"Impatient
as ever, young Enzo." He smiled. I
blushed again. Everyone was impatient
compared to Phong. "Well, to the point,
then. I thought one of these files
might be of interest to you."
"To… To me?
Why?"
"In
light of your current situation. The
sadness I feel in you, the uncertainty.
I think it is important that you go forward to this new chapter in your
life free of those burdens. Your
challenges will be many, and difficult – you should face them with a light
heart and an unbroken spirit."
"But…" I was totally confused now. "What could these files possibly have to do
with that?"
Phong
opened a drawer and pulled out a small storage disk. He held it up and nodded at me, so I took it from him. "It is not only tears and empty sectors I
see when I review these files, young Guardian.
Sometimes I see sprites, as well.
This file in particular was, I thought, most fascinating. As it relates to your sister, Dot."
"Dot?"
I whispered. "That doesn't feel right
to me, Phong. I mean - she doesn't know you're showing me this, does she?"
"Do
not worry, Child – you are in this file as well."
"Me?!" That felt ever more wrong. "But-"
"Do
not worry, Child. I feel certain Dot
would not mind your seeing this. And I
am hopeful that it might quell some of the sadness that grips you."
"But…"
"Perhaps
it is only me, being a silly old sprite." Phong chuckled. "Perhaps there is nothing wrong, and I am
merely wasting both my time and yours.
But I think you should review the file, my boy. There is no harm in it – I feel sure Dot
would not mind."
I
looked down at the disk. It was hard to
see how anything on it would make me feel any better. Besides, just how much did Phong know about what was bothering
me, anyway? But he was trying to
help… "I guess I'll watch it,
Phong. Thanks. But-"
"Simply
place it in the drive, Child. The file
will load automatically and shut down once it has been viewed. Open a vidwindow to me once you are finished
here – I think perhaps you will need my assistance in finding the path back
outside."
"Aren't
you staying?"
"I
think not, Child." Phong patted my hand
softly. "Watch the file whenever you
are ready. And call me when you wish to
leave." Just like that, he turned and
whirred off, and I was alone in the room with the disk.
Well,
Phong always was hard to figure out. I
don't think it was just me – even Bob and Dot seemed to have no clue what he
was saying sometimes. But whenever
Phong tried to teach me something – even the time he tricked me with that clock
speed stuff – I always ended up better off.
So maybe he knew what he was doing…
So
after I stared at the disk for a few more nanos I popped it into the drive like
Phong said, still feeling kinda guilty about watching it without Dot
knowing. A vidscreen popped up over the
console, right at eye level, and I leaned my elbows on the console to
watch. It looked like it was from the
beach, somewhere…
The
data sea was bright blue as it reflected the brilliant, clear sky. The beach wasn't crowded – just two sprites
lying on towels, propped up on their elbows staring at the water. There were two sprites in the water, a man
and a boy.
"You
threw it wrong!"
"I
didn't throw it wrong!" Bob laughed.
"You were just too slow to catch it!"
"Booobb!"
Enzo whined. "Just throw it again,
OK? I need the practice! What if we have to play 'Super Bowl 2100'
again?"
"Last
time I checked that game isn't played in the data sea."
"Bob!"
"All
right, Tiger – you win. Go deep! Deeper!"
"Do
they ever grow up?"
"Who
– boys?" Dot laughed. "Nope – not as
I've ever seen, anyways."
"Oh,
well." AndrAIa sighed. "I guess that's why they need us."
"Yup." Dot smiled as Bob threw the football high
into the air, and Enzo splashed through the shallow data after it. The small sprite dove for the ball and
missed, plunging into the data and coming up soaked. "Oh! Poor thing…"
"He
loves it." AndrAIa giggled.
"I
guess." Dot watched the two males
tossing the football for a few nanos, a distant smile on her face. "I wish Matrix could have spent the cycle
with us. Too bad he had to rewrite the
security protocols."
"He
likes his job a little too much." AndrAIa scowled. "He's still not the most social sprite in the net. Old habits die hard."
"Yes
they do." Dot sighed.
"Still
– he's done all right, all things considered. Thanks to you."
"Oh,
stop it…"
"I
mean it!" AndrAIa laughed. "Think about
it. He had no parents since he was
0.3. Look at him out there – look how
happy he is! Look at Matrix –
everything he survived out there.
They're both OK. And it's
because of you."
"That's
nice of you to say, Sweetie – but I didn't do anything special. I didn't have a clue."
"I
bet!"
"I
mean it!" Dot laughed. "If I'd had a
brother close to my own age, that would be one thing. But I didn't. What in the
net did I know about little boys? How
they thought, what they felt? Enzo
might as well have been from another net as much as I knew about him when Mom
and Dad died."
"Oh,
come on! Dot-"
"It's
true. It's different with Matrix,
now… But with Enzo it's never really
been like he was my brother. Not after
the first couple of hours. More like he
was my… My son, I suppose. But I sure
wasn't ready to be his mother!"
Dot
reached over and gently grasped AndrAIa's hand, smiling. "The best I can say about myself is that I
tried my best. But Enzo… You know, AndrAIa, he never once tried to
make me feel guilty about the way things were.
I know how much he must've been tempted, sometimes. When he didn't get his way, or
something… But he never resented me
once for not being his Mom. It's like
he knew I was doing the best I could…"
"I'm
sure he knew."
"Pretty
amazing. For such a little boy." Dot
said softly. "If he ever resented me,
he never let me know it." The
Command.Com sighed. "I just tried to
learn about him as best I could as we went along. And I learned pretty quickly that he had a lot of love inside his
heart – that he needed to be able to share it.
That's how he is. And he never
once withheld it from me – not even during the bad times, when we fought. He's pretty amazing."
"You
both are." AndrAIa smiled.
"That's
when it all started to make sense." Dot chuckled. "Even if I didn't understand what he was thinking, why he had to
try and follow me into games, or why he wanted to crash around the data dump
until he smelled like a recycle bin… I
figured out that as long as he knew I loved him and I'd always take care of
him, we could survive the rest of it.
That what we always tried to do.
And I guess it worked out OK…"
"I
know it has." The game sprite said softly.
"Matrix got his strength from you, Dot – it was your love that kept him
going through all the bad times."
"Maybe
that was part of it. But he's got
strength inside him that you can't even imagine, AndrAIa. They both do. Even they don't realize it sometimes, but it's there."
AndrAIa
said nothing, turning her gaze to stare out over the data. Bob and Enzo were well down the beach now,
jogging towards them, the boy's high-pitched giggling barely reaching the two
women's ears as they reclined on the sand.
"Do you ever wish it had been different, Dot?"
"What's
that, Sweetie?"
"You
know." The game sprite said softly.
"Everything. Your parents – you
know… Me coming to Mainframe… It's not like you exactly got to choose your
own life."
"I
wonder, sometimes." Dot whispered, rubbing her belly absently. "I miss my parents every cycle, and I don't
deny that I'd have done things differently if I hadn't had to take care of Enzo
when I was so young. But I don't ever
wish things weren't what they were. I
mean – I wish my folks were here. But
raising Enzo – that was an incredible gift, AndrAIa. We were both so alone, so vulnerable – and we were all the other
had. We've shared so much, we need each
other so much…"
Dot
was silent for a nano. She looked over
at the younger woman. "I wouldn't trade
that for anything, Honey. To love
someone so much, to need them so much – that's really special. Maybe I would've gotten married, had a kid
of my own when I was young enough for it to make sense… But it doesn't matter, I still wouldn't
trade it. It didn't matter that Enzo
was my brother – it still doesn't. He
is what he is – and he means more to me than I could ever explain. He always will."
"Hey,
you two." Bob yawned, flopping down to
the sand next to Dot.
"You
missed all the fun." Enzo grinned.
AndrAIa slid over and the youngster slipped between his sister and the
game sprite.
"That
kind of fun I don't need." Dot winced as Enzo shook his head wildly, data
splattering her face.
"I'm
with you." Bob chuckled. He stretched
out and closed his eyes. "I'm all worn
out. Takin' a nap."
"C'mere,
you."
"Hey!"
Enzo protested as Dot draped his head in a towel.
"Stop
wiggling! Your hair's all wet!"
"Stop
it!"
"Just
hush up!" Dot sighed, flashing an exasperated smile at AndrAIa. She roughly tousled the boy's hair with the
towel, the draped it around his shoulders.
"There – was that so bad?"
Enzo
glanced surreptitiously at AndrAIa, then glowered at his sister. "It wasn't that wet…"
"You
looked like a drowned null!" Dot laughed.
Enzo shook his head and lay back, hands behind his head.
"Poor
Enzo." AndrAIa smiled and winked at Dot.
The boy blushed, looking away, and AndrAIa gently ruffled his hair. The three sprites sat in silence for a long
moment, the gentle crashing of the waves soon joined by a soft snoring from
Bob's blanket.
After
several more nanos of silence, Dot reached down and grabbed the towel around
Enzo's neck. Smiling, she tugged it
upwards, pulling the boy with it until his head rested against her
shoulder. "Hey! What's up?"
"Nothing."
Dot said softly, tousling his still damp hair.
She brushed a lock out of his eyes and kissed his forehead gently. "Just felt like doing that, is all."
And
that's where it ended. Just like that.
Naturally,
my processor was going in about a billion directions at once afterwards – seems
like it always is anyways. I thought
about when that'd happened – when the four of us had gone to the beach. I'd forgotten about it – it hadn't seemed
like it was anything special, just a nice cycle. But hearing Dot saying all that stuff… It still felt I was listening to something I wasn't supposed to,
but it made me feel good to hear it. It
was really confusing, though. It didn't
make any sense.
For
some reason seeing it made me think of another time, before that cycle at the
beach. I'd been out practicing on my
surfboard – the one Mouse made for me.
I'd been surfing all over the place – all over Baudway and floating
point, just practicing my turns and circles and dives and stuff and feeling
pretty good about myself.
So
I started back towards the diner. I was
feeling pretty high-res, just caught up in the excitement of flying around – I
couldn't wait to tell Bob and Dot how good I was getting on the board.
I
was coming in low across Baudway, right in front of the diner. I even looked both ways crossing the
street! Then, out of nowhere a tear
opened up – almost right in front of me.
It was pretty scary 'cause it caught me totally by surprise. I banked hard to the right to avoid the tear
and I did, but my arms started flailing all around and I lost control of the
board. It gets a little fuzzy after
that, but I remember the board went sideways, I slipped off and I guess I tried
to slide my legs under me but I didn't have time. I felt my knee bang against the pavement and I heard the board
crack as it slammed into a parked car – not Bob's, thank the User.
The
next thing I remember is being on my back, and my whole right leg was hurting
like crazy. I could hear myself moaning
and I put my hand down against my knee and when I brought it up to my face, it
had blood on it. I looked down and the
front of my Guardian trousers was all torn away at the knee and there was more
blood. A lot of blood. Well, it looked like a lot to me, anyway.
I
moaned some more and started to push myself up, but I felt kinda woozy and I
fell down again. The next thing I knew,
someone was holding me down and I heard Dot's voice in my ear. "Honey, are you OK?"
"Ow!" I just said it over and over, like ten
times, it really hurt. A lot.
"Come
on now. You'll be just fine." She said it real calm, but I could hear a
little afraid in her voice. She sort of
scooped me up and carried me inside, and I just kept moaning from the pain. "Shhh.
It's OK, Sweetie. I'm here now."
"The
tear!" I said. I guess I remembered it
was still out there, which should count for something I think.
"Don't
worry about that. I told Cecil to call
Bob – he'll mend it." She set me down
on the counter, and I realized I was in the kitchen. She smiled at me and kissed my forehead. "Let's just take care of you, OK?"
"My
knee really hurts!" Original, huh?
"I
know. Let's just see how bad it's hurt,
ok?" She kind of ripped the loose
material away like it was nothing, and uncovered my knee. She grabbed my leg and started to bend and
unbend it, real slowly. "Does this
hurt?"
"Yes!"
I moaned. But she looked at my face and
smiled. She felt my kneecap, real
gently. There was some blood on her
hands, but she didn't wipe it off.
"Nothing's broken, Sweetie.
Doesn't look too bad. Let's get
you cleaned up." She ran a towel under
some warm data and started to wipe the blood off my knee.
"It
wasn't my fault!" I said. I didn't much
like the way my voice sounded, but it was the best I could do. "That tear just opened up right in front of
me!" I could kind of feel my chest
heaving up and down.
"I
know, Enzo. I saw the whole thing. I know it wasn't your fault." She finished wiping my knee off and kissed
me on top of the head. That really set
me off, for some reason.
"My
board b-broke!"
"I
know, Sweetie. I'm sure Specs can fix
it, don't worry."
"Crash
it all!"
"I
don't think you're going to need any stitches, thank the User. Just lost a little skin, that's all. We'll get Phong to check you and make sure,
but you'll be fine."
"Delete
it!" I really felt terrible – my knee
burned like crazy, my head hurt, my board was broken, my uniform was all torn
up…
She
took my head in her hands and held me against her shoulder. She started to kiss my forehead and smooth
my hair really slowly, like she did when I was a little kid. "Shhh.
It's OK Enzo. I'm here, it's all
right…"
It's
embarrassing to admit, but it felt really good to have her do that. Before I knew it my fists were in my eyes,
trying to keep the tears from coming out, but it didn't do any good. I just wrapped my arms around her neck and
held on while she talked to me, real softly.
It felt like the only place in the net where I could ever really be
safe, right there. My knee hurt a lot
but it wasn't all that bad. I
don't know why it meant so much to me – but it did.
She
sort of held me and talked to me for a little while and I didn't say anything,
just held onto her until I felt better. She put some antiviral spray on my knee
and bandaged it up like she was a medical program, and then she gave me a kiss
on the nose and smiled at me. And I
kind of coughed a little and smiled back at her. And that was that.
I
wasn't sure why I thought about that right after I watched Phong's file. It wasn't that big a deal – I limped around
for a few cycles and I had a pixelacious scab on my knee. Specs fixed up my board almost as good as
new, except for a little scar where he mended it. No big file. So why did I
think about it at that nano?
And
then I figured it out. It was because
that whole thing happened right after Dot told me the news.
"Guess
what, Enzo – you're going to be an Uncle!"
I
know what you're thinking – the selfish little kid gets jealous of the baby
'cause now he's not the baby any more.
But it's not like that, it really isn't. I love my nephew a lot. I
even like being an Uncle. Most of the
time.
I
guess I was pretty shocked when Dot told me.
I mean, "Uncle Enzo" – does that sound basic, or what? But that's what I was gonna be. Uncle Enzo.
And I was still only a little kid myself. Basic…
I
guess it really felt more like I was gonna be a big brother than an uncle – I
mean, I know Dot is my sister and everything but it really feels more like
something else. She's been taking care
of me for so long and everything…
Anyway, I liked thinking about it like that better, anyway. I'd never been a big brother. There's never even been any sprites smaller
than me around. So that was gonna be
kind of cool, in a way.
I
think I must have walked around in a fog for a few cycles after she told me,
because I don't really remember much except Bob grinning a lot like he'd just
single-handedly deleted Daemon's army.
The next thing I really remember clearly is walking over to Matrix and
AndrAIa's place, which was really Bob's place except Bob lived with us now.
I
knocked – I always knocked now, even though I never did when Bob lived there –
and I heard Matrix say "It's open." He
was sitting on the couch watching a vidscreen and I came over and sat next to
him. "Hey, Kiddo."
"Hey,
Big Guy. What're we watching?"
"I
dunno. Not very good, whatever it
is. Mike the TV just got voted off of
Lost Angles, though – that makes sense.
What's up?"
"Not
much." I looked around. "Where's AndrAIa?"
"Shopping
– her favorite activity, next to criticizing me."
That
made me giggle. Matrix wasn't funny
very often, and I felt like I owed him that much. I was kinda glad Andri wasn't there – normally I'm totally glad
to see her all the time, but right now I wanted to talk to Matrix. "So – I guess you guys probably heard, huh?"
"Heard
what?" I looked at him kinda dumbly for
a nano, then he winked. "Yeah, I
heard."
"Pretty
basic, huh? Dot with a kid!"
"I
think Bob might have something to do with it too, Pal."
"Matrix! You know what I mean. It's just…
It feels weird."
"Yeah… Yeah, I guess it does." He gave me a little light punch on the
shoulder. "I don't know why I was so
surprised when I heard – I mean, it was only logical and all… But I guess I just never believed they'd
actually do it. Have a kid…"
"Yeah…" I sort of looked at the vidscreen for a
while, but I wasn't really watching. I
was thinking. "D'you think they'll get
married now?"
"I
dunno, Enzo. They might. I don't guess
it really matters all that much. They
definitely love each other. We always
knew that – right?"
"Yeah."
I smiled. That much was definitely
true.
"So
how are you doing with all this, Pal?"
"What
do you mean?"
"You
know what I mean." He gave me that
little annoyed look he only used on me, when I was trying to pretend like he
didn't know what I was thinking. "This
is a pretty big deal, Enzo. Bigger than
Bob moving in, even. Are you OK with
it?"
"Sure
I am." It's funny, but I hadn't really
let myself think about that question until he asked me. And then I realized I'd actually been kinda
thinking about it ever since Dot told me.
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Come
on, now." He sighed. "It's gonna be a
pretty big change for everybody, Kid.
It's sure as deletion gonna be for you. Haven't you thought about that?"
"I
guess. It's Dot and Bob's decision,
Matrix. They can have a kid if they
want to…"
"You
can do better than that."
I
wasn't sure what he wanted me to say. I
wasn't sure what I wanted to say.
"I guess it'll be pretty hard… A
lot of work and stuff. Takin' care of
it and everything."
"That's
all?"
I
glared at him, but he just looked back at me with his eyebrow raised a
little. "What else is there?"
He
kept looking at me for a nano, then he shook his head and ruffled my hair. "Nothing, Kid. That's it."
"I
think it could actually be kinda fun, having a little brother. Or sister.
Or nephew, or whatever! Couldn't
it?"
"Sure! I can tell you first hand, though – when
you've never had a little brother before and you suddenly get one, it's a major
shock. They can be a real pain in the
bitmap…"
"Real
funny!" I punched him in the arm,
harder than he punched me but he didn't even feel it. He just laughed and wrestled me into a headlock. "Hey!
Lemme go!"
"Yes
sir, a real pain in the as-"
"Stop
it, Matrix! Just let me go!"
He
chuckled and let me go, and loosely wrapped his arm around me. "Maybe you'll be lucky and it'll be a girl. Little boys are the worst."
"Maybe
I'll be lucky and you'll lose your voice capability."
"Hmmm…" He didn't say anything for a little bit, and
I sort of fell over against him and we stared at the vidscreen for a
while.
"I
bet Dot'll be a good mother." It sort
of came out of my mouth without me planning to say it, just like a lot of what
I say.
Matrix
nodded like he'd been expecting me to say it.
"I think she already is, Pal.
Wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah…" He smiled down at me. "You remember much from when you were
little, Enzo? I mean, about Dot?" I only called him that when it was just us –
that's what he wanted.
"Sure
I do. I don't remember that many
individual cycles, but there are a lot of moments. They're like mpegs in my head, I see them playing over and over."
"Like
what?"
He
looked at me for a nano or two, like he was deciding what he should say. "Mostly I just remember what it felt
like. What it felt like when I heard
Mom and Dad were gone. What it felt
like when Bob was blasted into the web…"
"Jeez! Matrix-"
"I
remember good stuff, too." He smiled.
"I remember being small. Your
size. Smaller, maybe. Doesn't matter. I remember being small and having Dot hold me. I remember what it felt like to have her
arms around me, what her shoulder feels like when I'm laying my head on
it. The sound of her voice when she's
talking to me. Even singing,
sometimes. How her hands feel when
she's smoothing my hair back. How she
smells – her perfume or her shampoo, whatever.
I don't even know – every time I think about it I feel safe, like
nothing could ever hurt me. How safe I
felt, you know? How safe and happy I
felt when she kissed me on the head, or on the cheek… I remember all of that like it was last cycle."
I
was amazed when he said all that. First
of all, Matrix doesn't talk for that long.
Ever. Second, it was like
he'd just said everything I had in my own processor and never told
anybody. That definitely felt
weird. Totally weird. But I guess when you have an exact copy, weird
stuff is gonna happen.
"Well
– I guess I finally figured out how to shut you up!"
"Stop,
OK?" I just wanted to think for a
micro, not joke around or anything.
Something about what he said really disturbed me, but I couldn't quite
get my brain around why.
"Sure,
Pal." That's a good thing about Matrix
not talking much – when you want him to shut up he'll usually do it. He gave me a little squeeze and we just sat
there for a while, not talking.
Dot
being pregnant was very weird. At first
I was scared to even touch her or hug her or anything, like she was gonna break
or something. But then she told me I
was being silly and that nothing would happen and that made me feel a little
more normal around her. But it was
still freaky.
Bob
spent a lot of time with her, just holding her hand or sitting together, and he
looked real proud of himself, especially the first few minutes. He did look very tired in the mornings,
though. And Dot started to get where
she just looked sick in the morning – her face didn't look green like normal
and she was real queasy and stuff. So I
had to start doing a lot more around the apartment, like fixing my own
breakfast, and sometimes even for Bob and Dot too. I guess that was OK.
Dot
tried to work her regular schedule at the diner and the P.O., and she did for a
long time. But when she was about
halfway through being pregnant, maybe 20 minutes or something, it started to
get tougher. She started to get fat,
and her back started to hurt and it was harder for her to run around all the
time. She usually stayed in a good mood
except for the mornings, and she always tried to be nice to me. But I could tell she was getting kind of
frustrated with not being able to do all the stuff she normally did. Dot doesn't like to not be doing
stuff – she's always been like that, as long as I can remember.
Between
Phong and Matrix a lot of Dot's duties as Command.Com were taken care of, so
she didn't have to go into the P.O. as much.
And Bob and me took care of all the games, so Dot kinda concentrated on
running the diner. That was fine for a
while, because she didn't have to go out and it was easier for her. But when she was starting to get close to her
due date even that got harder for her, and that's when something happened that
I didn't like.
I
came home from school one cycle and Bob and Dot were sitting in a booth,
talking. It was still pretty weird
seeing Dot all fat, with a baby inside her.
Anyway, they were talking like I said and Dot smiled at me and waved me
over, so I sat down next to her. She
kissed me on the head like she usually does and asked me how my school day was.
"Good. Boring, like always. How're you feeling?"
"Tired." She smiled, but I could tell she wasn't
lying. She winced.
"Sis! What's the matter?"
"Nothing. I'm fine, Honey – the baby just kicked."
"Dude
– he kicks you?"
"Yes!"
she laughed. "Not like you kick a
football or anything. I guess she might
be getting restless in there. You want
to feel it?"
"Uh… I guess."
I really couldn't get used to the idea that there was a little sprite
inside my sister.
"Go
on, Enzo." Bob urged. "It's pretty
alphanumeric."
So
Dot put my hand on her tummy, and I held it there for a few nanos and nothing
happened. I looked up at Dot and
shrugged. "Just wait."
And
sure enough, after a while, I felt a little kick, like someone tapping on my
hand real softly. "Dude!"
"Pretty
amazing, huh?" Bob smiled.
"Man! That's… That's…" I didn't know what to say.
There was a little baby in there, and I could actually feel it moving
around. It was like the first time the
whole thing felt real to me.
Dot
kissed me on the head again. "Honey,
Bob and I have something we want to talk about with you."
I
didn't want to look away from Dot's tummy, what was happening was so amazing –
but I looked up at her. "What?"
"Enzo,
you can see that Dot is getting pretty close to her time." Bob said. "It's getting harder and harder for her to
get around and do stuff on her own."
"Yeah. I guess."
"Well,
you know Phong is doing a good job taking care of things at the P.O., and
AndrAIa is helping him a lot. And
Matrix is taking care of system security."
"Sure."
Bob
and Dot shared a look, which was never a good sign for me. "Enzo Sweetie, I need someone here with me
to help with chores around the diner.
And to help me in the apartment, because it's hard for me to make meals
and do things around the house. Bob and
I need you to come straight from school and help me around here as much as you
can."
"I'll
be here, too – Enzo. As much as I
can. But I'll still need to take care
of games and help out at the P.O. We're
in constant contact with Laser and the war with Daemon is really heating up out
there. I have to be involved as much as
possible."
"You'll… Take care of games?"
Dot
grabbed my hand. "Bob can handle the
games by himself. I really need you
here to help me. And to be here in case
there's an emergency, you know?" She
took my chin in her hand. "I know how
much you love going into games with Bob.
And you're doing wonderfully.
Isn't he, Bob?"
"He's
doing great. A credit to his uniform."
"We
just need you to make a sacrifice, Sweetie – not go into games for a little
while – until the baby is born and we're settled in. Will you do that for me?"
I
sat there for a while, not knowing what to say. What could I say?
What could I do – not help Dot?
Going into the games had been the best thing during the whole time Dot
was pregnant, when no one was paying too much attention to me 'cause they were
all so busy. My training was totally
important to me. But what could I
do? "Sure, Dot. I'll stay here and help you."
"Thank
you." She hugged me. "It won't be for that long, Enzo. You'll be back training with Bob before you
know it."
"It's
OK..."
"Good
job, Cadet." Bob smiled. "We all have
to make sacrifices right now – I'm proud of you."
"Thanks." I smiled at him, but I don't know how
convincing it was. I wasn't too excited
at the idea of coming straight home from school every cycle and doing housework
and working at the diner. But what
could I do? The baby was coming and we
all had to make sacrifices…
So
that's how it went for a few minutes.
Dot got fatter and fatter, and when I wasn't in school I was at the
diner or in the apartment, helping Dot or Cecil. The toughest part was when the game cubes came down – my codes
were telling me to go, that I was letting Bob down and not doing my duty. But what could I do? Dot needed me.
And
User, did she ever. She just kept
getting bigger and bigger till it got to the point where she couldn't even get
up out of a chair by herself sometimes.
I did the best I could, but I don't know how good it was. I've never been very good at cleaning and
that junk, although I'm actually not a bad cook. Dot sure asked me to cook some weird stuff, though. No wonder she felt sick in the mornings.
Finally,
the inevitable cycle came and Dot was ready to have her baby. Bob came and woke me up early in the
morning, I don't remember what day it was but it was definitely the minute-end
'cause there was no school. I rebooted
out of my pajamas and went out into the living room, and Dot was sitting on the
couch and sweating a lot. Boy, she
didn't look good. I sat next to her and
grabbed her hand and she smiled at me, but she showed a lot more teeth than she
usually does.
Bob
and I each grabbed an arm and we real slowly helped her onto her zip board,
which made me think of how Dot always said there was no zipping in the house
which was a funny thing to think about but I guess I was scared so my processor
threw that in to distract me. Anyway,
Dot was too sick to even walk up the stairs to the diner, so she needed to
zip. And we sort of steered her up and
through the diner and out to Bob's car, which for once didn't break down thank
the User and the next thing you know we were at the medical unit at the P.O.
Oh,
and Matrix and AndrAIa were there – I forgot to say that. Bob called them on a vidwindow and told them
to meet us there. Phong came out and he
was all calm like he usually is, which is more than I can say for Bob and
me. Dot was in a lot of pain – Bob said
it was her contractions starting, which I never heard of but he said it meant
she was ready to have the baby.
Phong
took Dot's hand and smiled. I guess on
top of everything else, he's a medical program too and he was gonna be in
charge. "I believe we should get you to
the delivery room, Child. I think it is
time."
Dot
grimaced and nodded, and they started to walk off real slowly. Bob and AndrAIa got up to go with them, and
everybody forgot all about me. And
Matrix too, I guess. I hadn't really
thought about it but I wanted to be with Dot when it happened, even if I really
didn't want to see it. "Wait! Can't I come, too?"
Bob
shook his head. "No, Enzo. You wait here with your brother. We'll let you know when the baby comes."
"But… I've been helping Dot got ready and
everything… And I've known her longer than any of you guys!"
Matrix
grabbed my hand. "Come on, Enzo. That's no place for a little sprite. It's no place for me."
I
pulled away. "No! Dot-"
"Enzo,
it can't be too crowded in there." AndrAIa smiled. "Bob has to be there – he's the father. And I need to be in there because I think Dot needs another girl
with her and besides, someone needs to assist Phong. Just try to understand, OK?"
"But-"
"I'll
be fine, Sweetie." Dot said through gritted teeth. "I promise. Oooh! Ow…"
I
ran over to her and grabbed her hand.
If they weren't letting me in, I could at least do that much. I kissed
her on the cheek. "OK, then. Good…
Good luck, OK?"
"I'll
be just fine. It'll all be over soon
enough and you can see the baby. OK?"
"OK."
I smiled, but I was still totally offlined about the whole thing.
"Good
luck, Dot." Matrix whispered. They
went off, and I went over and sat next to Matrix. "Cursors and crashes!"
"Don't
worry, Sprout. She'll be OK."
"I
know… And don't call me that!"
He
messed up my hair. "We're lucky not to
be in there. I bet it's gonna be pretty
gross."
"It's
not fair! I'm the one who's been with
Dot all the time, helping her, all that stuff!
I'm her brother! Whenever
anything important happens they always leave me out of it! I hate being a kid…"
"Hey
– I been there." Matrix sighed.
"It
just isn't fair, Matrix! Why do I always
get left out?"
"I
know it's not fair, Enzo. But I don't
think you know what it's gonna be like.
Dot'll be in a lot of pain – she'll be going through a lot. I don't think she wants you to see her like
that."
"But…"
"This
is going to be very hard for Dot as it is, Enzo. I know you think you can handle it, but if you were in there Dot
would be worried about you on top of everything else she's dealing with. You don't want to make this any harder for
her than it already is, do you?"
"I… Of course I don't! But-"
"So
you did the right thing. The main thing
is that Dot be as comfortable as possible, right? Isn't that what's most important?"
I
knew I was beaten. "Yeah." I
sighed. "That's what's most important."
"Good
boy." He wrapped his arm around me and
started walking off. "Believe me Kiddo,
it's not going to be any fun in there – we're both better off. C'mon – I'll buy you some breakfast…"
I
don't know exactly how long the whole thing took. Matrix and I had breakfast and we walked around for a while and
talked a little, not too much. We sat
down on a couch in this little room they have in the med unit, and I guess I
fell asleep. Whenever I sit for long
enough next to a big person, I always seem to fall over against them and go to
sleep.
The
next thing I remember is feeling someone stroking my cheek, real softly. I opened my eyes, and my head was on Matrix'
shoulder and it was AndrAIa. She smiled
when she saw I was awake. "Hi,
Honey. Sorry to wake you."
"It's
all right…"
"You
ready to go see the baby?"
"What?!"
I sat right up. "It's over? Is Dot OK?"
"She's
fine." AndrAIa laughed her musical
laugh and took my hand. "C'mon - let's go see her."
Matrix
fell in a few steps behind us. "How
come you never wake me up like that?"
"Oh
shut up, Sparky."
"'Move
your bitmap, Chubby' – that's all I ever get…"
I
pretty much tuned them out. I only had
one thing on my mind. "AndrAIa, is Dot
OK? Did everything go all right?"
"Dot's
just fine. There were a few
difficulties but nothing unusual, from what Phong says. I think she might've broke Bob's hand from
squeezing it so hard."
"So
– what is it?" Matrix asked.
"It's
a baby, Basic!"
"You
know what I mean, Andri! Is it a boy or
a girl?"
"Wait
and see." She grinned, winked at me and
opened the door to Dot's room. I took a
deep breath and followed her inside.
Bob
was sitting in a chair with his eyes closed when we came in, looking very
tired. Phong was standing next to Dot's
docking bay, talking real softly to her.
She had what looked like a folded up blanket in her arms. "Look I brought, Dot. Our new uncles."
She
looked up and smiled at us. "Thanks,
AndrAIa. Come on over, boys. Don't be shy."
I
was incredibly nervous as I walked over to the bed, Matrix' heavy footsteps right
behind me. I scooted up onto the bed
and kissed Dot on the cheek, which was real sweaty, and she shifted the blanket
in her arms. I saw a tiny patch of aqua
skin through the folds of the blanket.
"Is… Is that it?"
"It?"
Dot giggled, pretending to be mad. "My
baby is not an it! Enzo, meet your new
nephew."
"It's
a boy! I knew it!" Matrix laughed. He leaned over me and kissed Dot's forehead.
"A
boy? It's a boy?" I heard myself giggle. I think it's what I'd really been hoping all
along. "Alphanumeric!"
"This
is an auspicious day." Phong said.
"There has not been a sprite born in Mainframe for many an hour."
"His
name is Mac." Dot whispered. "Would you
like to hold him?"
"I
like that name. Short names are a good
thing." I heard Bob say.
As
for me, I swallowed pretty hard a couple of times. I'd never really been around a baby before, much less Dot's
baby. I was a little scared. "It's OK, Sweetie. Just hold your arms out."
"Like
this?" I held my arms out like I
imagined you would when you were holding a baby. Dot brushed the blanket away and Mac's face appeared. He looked like a shriveled up null! I hope I didn't show it, but I was a little
shocked. Is that what newborn sprites
are supposed to look like?
"Yes,
that's good. Just put one arm behind
his neck and hold his head up. Just
like I'm doing, see? There you
go." She handed him to me and just like
that, I was holding my nephew.
I
was shaking pretty hard, but I think I managed to hold him OK. He was kinda asleep, his eyes were mostly
closed. I just couldn't get over how
small he was. "Is this OK?"
"Oh,
Bob." Dot said real softly. I felt a
hand tousling my hair and I knew it was Bob's.
"Hi,
Mac." I whispered. "You're a tiny
little thing, aren't you?"
"So
were you, Enzo. I held you on the cycle
you were born, just like you're holding him.
He looks just like you did."
"Ugh! Really?"
I
regretted it as soon as I said it, but Dot just laughed and patted my
cheek. "Give your brother a chance
now."
Matrix
said next to me, looking just as nervous as I'd been. "I dunno Dot – I might drop him or-"
"Don't
be silly, Enzo. Just hold your arms out
like your brother. I think you could
hold him in one hand!"
"Uh…
Yeah." Matrix sort of smiled weakly and
held his arms out. I handed Mac to him,
gently as I could. The kid looked
ridiculously small with Matrix holding him, but he did OK. His face just kind of melted when he looked
at the baby. "Hi, Mac."
"Give
you any ideas, Sparky?" AndrAIa said softly.
Matrix looked alarmed for a nano and didn't say anything.
Once
Matrix took the baby I realized I was breathing really hard, I'd been so
scared. I took a deep breath and felt
someone squeeze my hand. I'd forgotten
Dot was there for a nano. She smiled up
at me and I tried to smile back.
"Y-You're OK?"
"I'm
just fine, Sweetie."
I
really did love my nephew, but it was hard to make myself worry about anything
but Dot. I was totally relieved that it
was all over, and she was all right. I
hugged her hard and put my head on her shoulder. "I'm glad you're OK. I
was worried about you."
"Thanks
for worrying. And thanks for helping me
so much over the last few minutes."
"Dot…" It was a pretty heavy nano for me, I have to
admit. There was a lot of emotional
stuff going on and I didn't really understand some of it. I just knew how much I loved Dot, that was
totally clear. And I told her.
"I
know, Angel. I love you too." She kissed me on the forehead like she
always did, and like always it felt perfect.
But there a lot of other things going on in my processor and like I
said, I didn't really understand a lot of them.
