Remy sat alone on the roof of the mansion, taking long drags off his cigarettes. The roof had always been one of Rogue's favorite places, and she was what was on Remy's mind then. He'd come up there with her some, and it had been one of the places where he'd formed good memories of her. He thought back to when she'd been suffering from flash blindness and had admitted to him that she wanted to have someone to hold her, and most of all, she wanted that someone to be him.
"Guess de chére's changed her mind on dat one," Gambit mused aloud.
Their relationship had never exactly been stable, but Remy had never truly considered the possibility that it might come to a real end someday. They'd walked away so many times in the past, yet they'd always come back to each other as well. And he'd never thought she'd chose another man over him. He'd had competition for her affections before; however, he'd always been the one she'd chosen in the end. Now that he looked back on it, poor Joseph hadn't really stood a chance.
Gambit hated himself for staying away so long. At the time, though, it had seemed like the right thing to do. He'd been so angry at Rogue that leaving her and never looking back had seemed like not only something he could do, but what he wanted to do. At that point, if someone had told him that Rogue would marry another man he wouldn't have cared.
He flicked his cigarette, wondering if maybe this was the effect of that old saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder." Did he only want Rogue because he'd been away from her for so long that he couldn't remember why he'd left in the first place? Or maybe he only desired what he couldn't have, an accusation that had been thrown at him quite regularly when he'd first began to flirt with a woman with untouchable skin.
Flirtation. That's all it had been at the beginning with Rogue. He liked a woman that would give a good chase, and Rogue definitely fit that description. He'd never intended to fall in love, never intended to even continue the pursuit once he'd caught her attention. But then something had happened, something Remy had never counted on. She effected him in a way that no other woman had in the past, and he eventually realized he'd fallen in love with her.
By that point, there was no turning back. Rogue was in his blood, a part of him. He would've died for her, and he realized that even now, he still would. He had always gladly taken the punishment she'd thrown his way just for the chance to see her smile, even once. She'd made a love-sick masochist out of a man who had once been proud to be a charming womanizer. Funny the things your heart makes you do.
He went over the fight he'd had with her earlier that day, and wondered why he was longing for her now, when then he'd felt mainly resentment towards her. Why could Rogue do that to his emotions, even so many years after they'd last been together?
Remy knew she'd left with Zander, and hated to think about them being together right then. Was he touching the skin that had always been forbidden to him? It would've been naïve to think that Remy and Rogue had allowed her powers to drive them to a chaste relationship, but no matter how close they got, there was always a barrier. Zander could touch her with impunity, and Remy hated to think that he could be somewhere doing that right then.
As he thought more about their earlier argument, Remy felt guilty. He'd said so much to her about Antarctica, even though he could see the pain and remorse in her eyes at the very mention of the continent, and truthfully, Remy had forgiven her for it years ago. He knew it was jealousy that had spurred him to yell at her in front of Zander, and he hated himself for it.
Gambit had lost Rogue, and he knew it was time to accept that fact, no matter how much it hurt.
Remy continued smoking his cigarette, no longer allowing himself to think.
*** *** ***
Despite the humidity of the night, Rogue was cold. She'd woken up late in the night and slipped out of Zander's bed to sit on the balcony. From there, she had a breathtaking view of the New York City skyline at night, and she wondered briefly just how much in rent Zander must pay a month.
Looking ahead of her, Rogue wanted to fly. She speculated if that was something else she'd have to give up for Zander. Did opulent housewives get to take to the skies whenever they felt the urge? She wondered if that question was answered in one of the books of upper-class manners that she'd all but memorized before meeting Zander's mother.
Not that they had done much good. The moment Rogue had walked into the room, Cordelia Hayes had looked at her as if she had the word "trash" tattooed to her forehead. "Guess women like me are branded at birth," Rogue thought to herself. She knew she wasn't at all the type of wife Mrs. Hayes would've chosen for her son, and she knew Cordelia was still upset that Zander hadn't taken to any of the women she'd introduced him to.
She wondered what Zander did see in her. She'd asked the same question to Jubilee, who'd joked that maybe he was a villain who was using Rogue as a part of an evil scheme. Rogue almost half wished he was. She'd know what to do if that was the case. But since he wasn't, she was just confused.
Zander was the first man she'd had a "normal" relationship with. Since he'd helped her overcome her mutation before they'd gotten together, her deadly skin had never been an issue. And he'd been neither villain, nor superhero, so they'd never even had a date interrupted by some type of superior being.
And Zander had never been anything but wonderful to her. He was one of the few people who would listen to her as if her ideas were anything but an uneducated woman spouting off. He'd made her more secure in herself, and she no longer regarded her own thoughts as unintelligent. She felt that he'd helped her to grow more than she ever had before, and although he'd changed her in many ways, they'd been changes for the better.
He'd never been lacking in passion either. Zander's touch had always electrified her, and there was no way to deny a physical attraction between the two. Rogue had even overheard Mrs. Hayes remarking to her daughter Monica that Zander only wanted Rogue because of the palpable sparks between them. And then she'd added something about how when Zander's libido calmed some, Rogue would be long gone. Rogue wondered if Mrs. Hayes was still waiting for that, even with the wedding approaching.
Zander had given Rogue everything she could ever want. She'd been grateful to him for his help with her control, and she'd always looked up to him. He made her want to strive for more than she had, to improve herself more than she ever had before. Jean had remarked once that it seemed almost like Rogue was struggling to make herself worthy of Zander.
Rogue looked back out over the skyline, drawing her knees up to her chest and shivering slightly. Zander really was the perfect man in so many ways. He loved her, respected her, gave her all she could ever want or need. Even his desire that she leave her life as an X-Man was fueled by his love for her. She'd found what so many women wanted in their lives. So why wasn't it enough?
Why couldn't she stop thinking about Remy LeBeau?
*** *** ***
Sings the streets a serenade
He's layin' everybody low
He's gotta love song that he made
He finds a convenient street light
Steps out of the shade and says somethin' like
You and me, babe, how about it?
Juliet says hey, it's Romeo
Ya nearly give me a heart attack
Yeah, well
He's underneath my window,
Now she's singin', hey la, my boyfriend's back
You shouldn't come around here
Singin' up to people like that
Ah, anyway, whatcha gonna do about it?
Juliet, the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet, and you exploded into my heart
And I forget, I forget
The movie song
When ya gonna realize
It was just that the time was wrong?
Julie…
We both come up on different streets
But they were both the streets of shame
Both dirty, both mean
Yes, even the dreams were the same
I dreamed your dream for you
And now your dream is real, so tell me, honey
How can you look at me as if I was
Just another one of your deals?
Now you can fall for change of silver
You can fall for change of gold
You know ya fall for pretty strangers
And the promises they hold
Well, you promised me everything
And then, the ya promised me thick and then
And now you just turn away and say, Romeo?
I think I used to have a scene with him
Ah, Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above,
Gonna love ya 'till I die
There's a place for us
I know you know this song
Now when ya gonna realize
It was just that the time was wrong?
Julie, I'm so in love
So in love
But I can't do the talk
Not like they talk on my T.V. screen
Can't do a love song,
Not the way you sang it to me
Can't do anything, but I would do anything for you
Can't do anything except
Be in love with you
All I do is miss you
And the way it used to be
All I do is keep the beat
I keep bad, bad company
And all I do is kiss you
Through the bars of this rhyme,
When Julie,
Juliet, when we made love you used to cry
You said I love you like the stars above
I'm gonna love ya 'till I die
There's a place for us
I know you know the movie song
One day we're gonna realize
It was just that the time was wrong
Julie…Julie…Juliet
Now this love struck Romeo
Sings the streets a serenade
He's layin' everybody low
He's got a love song that he made
He finds a convenient streetlight,
Step out of the shade and say somethin' like
You and me, babe, how about it?
*** *** ***
Sorry so short. And I know the song's just sorta there, but I had to use it—it fits so well. I kept up my end of the bargain, trading speedy posting for lots of reviews, so keep reviewing and I'll keep posting. :-D