Well, I haven't updated this fic in too long... I spent like 8 hours typing it yesterday... -__-;; I suck.
I just have to say now, this chapter was hard as hell to type. I *hate*, I repeat, *HATE* Sora, so this was actually painful to type. Anywho, moving on.
***
Your skin;
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
"Hey, Sora..." I say while waving energetically as I run over to where the beautiful mistress stands. I have my arms outstretched but once I saw the look on her face I let them drop back down again. She appears as if she's ready to go on a mad rampage.
"You're late *again*! I thought that you promised you wouldn't be anymore..." She's tapping her foot like crazy on the brick floor with an expression that seemed fit to kill.
"Sorry..." I say gradually with an edgy voice, "I didn't mean to... I tried my best to get here on time, but you know something came up..." I take a step closer and gently start to pull her hair out of her face. She maintains her disapproving grimace, but I can tell that she's enjoying it. I know inside that it's taking all her will power not to smile.
"I guess I could forgive you this time..." She replies idly while staring with fake fascination at the sky. "But next time..."
"What 'next time'?" I retort while leaning over and kissing her smooth and fragrant neck. "It won't happen again... I'll make sure... alright?" My hands wander down and creep around her waist while I'm talking, pulling her body closer and allowing me to admire the smirk that had begun to display on her lips.
She tries to shove me away a bit, playfully of course, and says through a giggle, "Not here, Tai...People are going to stare at us..."
"Fine by me..." I say with a grin, "I'm not about to try and stop 'em..."
She finally decides to stop squirming and enjoy the moment, sinking deeper into my arms with a calm sigh of relief.
"So, what was so important that you had to blow me off?" She asks impishly while twisting her fingers through my hair.
"I didn't blow you off..." I say defensively, "If I had blown you off; then I wouldn't be here now, would I?"
She moves a bit from my grasp then asks, "Okay, what was so important that you had to be *late*?"
I inhale deeply. She had me there.
"Oh, it was nothing..." I reply carelessly, hoping that she wouldn't continue to ask questions; "I just stopped to talk to Matt for a bit... not anything important..."
Sora seems as if she was trying to figure out something in her mind, then inquires, "And?"
"And- what?" I continue breathlessly, "We talked- I asked him if he'd like to come somewhere with us..."
"Did he say yes??" She says again, though not taking her eyes off of me. I hate when she does that. I makes me feel like she can pry into my brain and somehow tell exactly what I'm thinking. I swear, it's inhumanly possible to lie to that girl.
"What do you think?" I respond. "He turned me down before I had even finished the offer. I don't understand it- he's been so distant, and I can't tell why."
"Maybe it has something with his father..." She comments. "You know they found out that he has lung cancer..."
"Yeah." I answer suddenly. "I know. I was there when he found out. Remember- when he needed to get a ride to the hospital so I drove?"
Her head bobs up and down while she nods in comprehension. "Maybe that's why he's been-"
"No..." I interrupt again while looking away from her and at the floral scenery nearby. "It's something- bigger then that... though he won't just explain what it's been... Hell, I've tried talking, but that won't work. He denies everything."
The auburn haired girl beams at me, as if she knows something that I don't.
"What??" I ask impatiently while bearing down on her, "Why are you looking at me like that??"
"Oh, nothing..." She says, lifting her index finger and poking my cheek mischievously. "You just look cute when you care..."
Not being to resist for any longer I bend down and let my mouth strike hers, sending shivers down both of our spines and a sentiment of passion through my veins. A gentle breeze sifted through my hair, making it so that the only emotions that I can possibly feel are relaxation and contentment. I resolve to try and stop worrying about Matt, and relish the instant at hand.
***
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
A sheet of darkness had taken over the sky as night slunk over the city of Odaiba. After awakening, I had made sure dad was all right then spent the rest of the day slacking around the house. I had cleaned it enough that he would be able to get around the apartment when I wasn't there- though I don't know why he would. He seems pretty content in his bed with a packet of cigarettes.
Those goddamned cigarettes.
I hate them. I hate them more then I can put into words. I loath seeing them, smelling the awful odor of their smoke; even hearing about them had the ability to enrage me. They had taken such a big impact on all of us.
Once Takeru and Kasaan had heard about the -cancer- they tried showing their sympathy. Calls were more frequent and they visited a lot more too. I suppose I don't mind, but it's all so artificial. They didn't pretend to care before we find out. Takeru had always loved dad and tried to spend time with the both of us, but after a while it began to fade. He still comes around of course, but not half as much as before. That is- until the doctors called them. Now both the Takaishis seem to be at our house all the time.
Don't even act like you love him, Nancy. You don't. I used to think you did, but then you showed how much you hated him and *me* after the two of you were divorced. I missed you, but now I don't anymore. At least- not as much. All the feelings of regret or melancholy that plagued me were soon replaced with anger and hostility. I don't mind the woman, but I'm not sure I love her.
Love:
It's such a weird emotion, and you often don't know that you had it until it's gone.
Sure, I *had* my mother there for me, making meals, telling me how much she cared, even things as small as applying medication to my cuts and wounds.
I glance down at the slashes demonstrated from my arms. Hey, mom, think you have any band-aids in your first aid kit big enough for these?
Didn't think so.
And what about you, Gabumon? If you knew how I was doing, would you care? Do you even think about me now?
It's kind of strange. I promised you that I would let people into my mind and tell them how I'm feeling; yet nowadays everyone asks how I'm doing, but I'm too tired to tell them.
You'd think that they might've given up now, seeing as I haven't given them a straight answer for what- 3 months? Something like that. Tai's still trying, and so is Takeru. They put on their little happy faces and ask me if I'd like to go to nice places with them.
But I'm always too drained. I hate going out now. I hate going where there will be other people to stare at me and judge me. I just don't want to spend time with anybody.
Well, actually, that's a lie.
There is somebody that I wouldn't mind spending time with; but unfortunately, they're already taken.
Sora Takenouchi, do you ever pause to wonder how I'm doing?
Probably not. You've got Tai now, it's over between us. The memories are still fresh in my mind even though I've tried countless times to forget. You're not mine to think about; you belong to the leader of our pack.
And here I am, stuck as the lone wolf, while the rest of you have each other to depend on. I don't know why I haven't talked to them; every one of them have tried to get through to me. But it hasn't worked. I just don't want to explain things to them anymore. They think they can tell what I'm thinking, but they can't. They can only imagine. And even then, they probably can't see what I have to go through.
Everything; slipping out from under you. It's like- you're standing on a foundation, with pillars underneath to make sure that you won't fall.
But once and a while, something will happen, and one of your pillars will snap and fall to the ground. You've still got others to protect you, but for how long? How long will it be until they're all gone, and you've got nothing left but to plummet to whatever's waiting for you on the ground?
It's a question I hate to think about. You can't blame me, either. Who *does* like contemplating about something like that? It's like asking 'How long until I die?' An answer that you don't want to know, even though it might explode in front of you at any time.
First my dad- then her... I have a feeling somebody upstairs doesn't like me.
I sigh as I look out the window at the billions of stars that shimmer and glisten in front of me. It reminds me of the earth- there are hundreds of people you'll see every day, but how often do you stop to think about that one individual? How often will you stop to think about one tiny stare and how it came to be there?
The phone rings so I pry myself off of my bed then snatch the phone from my dresser. Yeah, I have a phone in my room, mostly because I'm the only one who uses it, seeing as dad doesn't talk that much, period.
"Hello?"
I listen to the voice and the breathing on the other side. It sounds mostly like Jyou.
"Hey..." I answer languidly. I don't really feel much like talking right now.
"Yeah, hey," He replies quickly. "I was just calling about your father- I'm helping my dad a bit tonight, calling people and whatnot, and it turns out he's about due to get treated again."
"Meaning what?" I ask in a bored tone.
He pauses for a moment but regains himself. "Just bring him down to the hospital tomorrow and then he'll do the rest..."
"Alright."
We both stop for a while; he obviously doesn't know what to say. I know I'm being a pain in the ass, but I'm beyond caring anymore. Jyou's a good guy after all and it's not like I have anything against him. We just hadn't talked for a while. The only reason he calls me is to tell me about dad or school, or stuff like that. I had never been as close to him as I had been to Tai and some of the others.
"I guess I'll be going now..." He says slowly to both of our relief.
"I'll see you around." I answer, and then we both hung up.
Yeah, turns out I've lied again; my chances of seeing *anybody* soon were pretty slim. School was turning out to be a place where the kids could see me for a while and interrogate how I was feeling, though I've never said much. And now, I've even started to skip to get away from them- and everything. I don't want to be here- I don't want to be there- I don't want to be anywhere...
I collapse back onto my bed, smelling the comforting scent of the familiar sheets and beginning to count the stars. Eventually I'm lost in another dream and praying with everything I have that I might be able to escape from my life and into it, instead.
***
Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."
After waking up to see Kari and the sun beaming at full blast, I topple out of bed and got dressed, then advanced to the table where I started on breakfast. I'm allowed to take my time, seeing as today's a Saturday.
I pick at my eggs while guzzling down my orange juice and staring at the atmosphere around me. My mother's standing over a frying pan making a frenzy of hash browns while my dad sat in the chair next to me, reading the newspaper. Kari, being the early bird she is, had left long ago to go meet Miyako and Iori near the corner store. I think she said that she'd be back around noon, but I'm not completely sure.
"I'm going to go down to the park..." I call to my parents, "I told Sora I'd meet her there in half an hour..."
"Half an hour?!" My mom exclaims, spinning around to face me while letting the potato patties simmer, "But that's plenty of time! Why on earth would you want to leave so early??"
"Trust me, mother..." I say with a sigh, "I've been late so many times, that if I were to do it one more time, she would kill me. Literally."
I could see my dad smirking from behind the paper while he said, "I've never had *that* happen before..."
Mother dearest just crosses her arms, then rolls her eyes sarcastically. "Tai, the park is only five minutes away, you've got plenty of time..."
"Yeah, but-" I start, "I promised-"
"Meaning-that you'll have an extra fifteen minutes to start picking up around your room..."
"Mom..." I moan, trying to get out of it, "I-"
"Hurry up..." She continues with a laugh, "I'm just kidding... Now go on and meet your girlfriend..."
"Thanks!" I cried cheerfully, then bounded out the door, while leaving my plates and cutlery cluttering the table.
"Tai..." She groans with her hands on her hips, but I pretend that I didn't hear, and go out the door.
***
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry.
I cringe a bit from the sudden burst of pain that exfoliates through my skin and watch as the blood dances over the blade and off of my wrist. My eyes are shut so that I may derive every moment from the experience and engrave into my brain. It's like a high, only better- you're there; conscious, able to sense everything that's happening. The touch of the red fluid sliding off of me and into the sink, the bitter yet sweet scent of the blood that floods into my nostrils; so strong you can almost taste it in your mouth. And the sight of your exposed flesh, that creates a tide of sentiments with the ability to override you while pressing down upon the cut.
I open my eyes again to see that my hands look as if they've been painted with a bright red paint. Deciding it's time to rinse, I reach out an arm to turn on the tap when suddenly I hear the doorbell.
Caught off guard, I let the knife slip and feel it piercing the skin over my hand.
"Fuck!!" I cry out, still fumbling with the tap and trying to turn it on. My fingers kept slipping from the blood, making it impossible to actually turn the valve. Finally, I try using both hands at once, and I abruptly feel the water trickling over my surface. Automatically, I slump down from the blast of ease that the liquid gave, then remember that there was still somebody at the door.
I try to just ignore it- but then I hear to hear a short click, and then someone coming in the entrance.
"Hello??"
I recognize the little voice all too well. It's Takeru. For a moment I don't know how he had gotten in, but then I remember giving him a key a while back just in case he wanted to come by and see dad if I wasn't in.
"Shit..." I mumble in irritation, grabbing some toilet paper and pressing it onto my wrists with all my force. It hurts- like hell- but I had to get the room cleaned up before he comes close enough to tell what's happening.
"Matt?? Dad??" He yells, his footsteps coming closer and closer to the door.
"Uh- yeah, hey T.K.!" I reply to him, knowing that if I don't say anything, he'll probably just hear me making a racket in the bathroom. Lucky for me, the door's locked, but I'm still frantically trying to figure out what to tell him.
"Hey, Matt!" He answers good-naturedly, "Uh- where... are you??"
I struggle to make all the blood flow down the drain while replying with fake vivacity, "I'm in the bathroom... Go sit down in the living room and I'll be right with you, alright??"
"Okay..." he replies, while I listen intensely to the sound of him walking back to where I had sent him.
I watch the clear solution wipe the blood from my dagger, until I decide it's sanitary, then close it and shove it into my pocket. Making sure that my edges of my shirt covered the slashed contours, I check a final time to ensure everything is in order, then step out.
"Hey..." I say tediously as he directs his attention from staring at the wall and back at me.
"How've you been?" He asks cheerfully with his blue eyes radiating.
I play with my fingers, still feeling awkward, then reply, "I'm fine..." Judging from his face, I'm sure that he wanted me to say more. Disappointment and Takeru didn't mix, seeing as every time he tries to hide it- he fails.
"And-how's dad doing??" He continues, still trying to look chipper and bright eyed. Sorry, T.K., but I can see right through you. *Nobody's* happy all the time, why bother to pretend?
"He's due for another appointment today..." I say slowly, trying not to think about it. "I think I'm just going to call a cab..."
"You can get Tai to drive you, can't you?" He asks uncertainly, though I'm not sure why.
"I could..." I reply, "But what's the point??" I didn't really want to talk to Tai, knowing that he'd take it upon himself to pry into my affaires.
Takeru looked a bit confused at the fact that I was reluctant to be around my so-called 'best friend', but added, "Why not? You'll be saving ten bucks and it won't take as long..."
"I guess..." I answer casually. "I'll call him a little later... and if he's there, I'll try to convince him to take dad."
"Alright!" T.K. says freely, "I-" And for a reason I can't see, he stops talking and stares at my wrists. "A-are you alright??" He asks cautiously, "Your-arm looks like it's bleeding..."
"Oh that~!" I exclaim, covering my hands from view instantly, looking more jumpy then I intended to, "That's just a paper-cut I got a couple minutes ago... I was- writing something..." I smile to seem more inconspicuous, so he decides not to persist.
"Look..." I add, "I'm just finishing my-homework right now, so I'm sort of busy... I'll call you a little later, all right?" Of course, I wasn't being entirely honest, but he didn't have to know that.
"Okay..." he says finally, though looking a little hurt from being tossed aside for *homework*. "I suppose I'll talk to you then..."
He gets up and begins walking to the door, then says, "Tell dad I came by- alright?"
"Yeah, okay..." I reply, "I'll be sure to mention it to him..."
Even if I didn't find pleasure in having people come by to sympathize, I knew that dad liked knowing people cared enough to stop by. I guess I would too.
"Bye, Yamato!"
His voice echoes through the hallway as he steps out then treads down to the elevator.
"Bye, Takaru..." I say in a bare whisper, then walk back into the apartment and begin preparing dad some lunch.
***
That was actually longer then I intended it to be ^_^;; Peachy and Miam.
AND REMEMBER KIDDIES!
~Reviews are like presents, Nice to give, but even better to receive!~
I just have to say now, this chapter was hard as hell to type. I *hate*, I repeat, *HATE* Sora, so this was actually painful to type. Anywho, moving on.
***
Your skin;
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
"Hey, Sora..." I say while waving energetically as I run over to where the beautiful mistress stands. I have my arms outstretched but once I saw the look on her face I let them drop back down again. She appears as if she's ready to go on a mad rampage.
"You're late *again*! I thought that you promised you wouldn't be anymore..." She's tapping her foot like crazy on the brick floor with an expression that seemed fit to kill.
"Sorry..." I say gradually with an edgy voice, "I didn't mean to... I tried my best to get here on time, but you know something came up..." I take a step closer and gently start to pull her hair out of her face. She maintains her disapproving grimace, but I can tell that she's enjoying it. I know inside that it's taking all her will power not to smile.
"I guess I could forgive you this time..." She replies idly while staring with fake fascination at the sky. "But next time..."
"What 'next time'?" I retort while leaning over and kissing her smooth and fragrant neck. "It won't happen again... I'll make sure... alright?" My hands wander down and creep around her waist while I'm talking, pulling her body closer and allowing me to admire the smirk that had begun to display on her lips.
She tries to shove me away a bit, playfully of course, and says through a giggle, "Not here, Tai...People are going to stare at us..."
"Fine by me..." I say with a grin, "I'm not about to try and stop 'em..."
She finally decides to stop squirming and enjoy the moment, sinking deeper into my arms with a calm sigh of relief.
"So, what was so important that you had to blow me off?" She asks impishly while twisting her fingers through my hair.
"I didn't blow you off..." I say defensively, "If I had blown you off; then I wouldn't be here now, would I?"
She moves a bit from my grasp then asks, "Okay, what was so important that you had to be *late*?"
I inhale deeply. She had me there.
"Oh, it was nothing..." I reply carelessly, hoping that she wouldn't continue to ask questions; "I just stopped to talk to Matt for a bit... not anything important..."
Sora seems as if she was trying to figure out something in her mind, then inquires, "And?"
"And- what?" I continue breathlessly, "We talked- I asked him if he'd like to come somewhere with us..."
"Did he say yes??" She says again, though not taking her eyes off of me. I hate when she does that. I makes me feel like she can pry into my brain and somehow tell exactly what I'm thinking. I swear, it's inhumanly possible to lie to that girl.
"What do you think?" I respond. "He turned me down before I had even finished the offer. I don't understand it- he's been so distant, and I can't tell why."
"Maybe it has something with his father..." She comments. "You know they found out that he has lung cancer..."
"Yeah." I answer suddenly. "I know. I was there when he found out. Remember- when he needed to get a ride to the hospital so I drove?"
Her head bobs up and down while she nods in comprehension. "Maybe that's why he's been-"
"No..." I interrupt again while looking away from her and at the floral scenery nearby. "It's something- bigger then that... though he won't just explain what it's been... Hell, I've tried talking, but that won't work. He denies everything."
The auburn haired girl beams at me, as if she knows something that I don't.
"What??" I ask impatiently while bearing down on her, "Why are you looking at me like that??"
"Oh, nothing..." She says, lifting her index finger and poking my cheek mischievously. "You just look cute when you care..."
Not being to resist for any longer I bend down and let my mouth strike hers, sending shivers down both of our spines and a sentiment of passion through my veins. A gentle breeze sifted through my hair, making it so that the only emotions that I can possibly feel are relaxation and contentment. I resolve to try and stop worrying about Matt, and relish the instant at hand.
***
I swam across,
I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.
A sheet of darkness had taken over the sky as night slunk over the city of Odaiba. After awakening, I had made sure dad was all right then spent the rest of the day slacking around the house. I had cleaned it enough that he would be able to get around the apartment when I wasn't there- though I don't know why he would. He seems pretty content in his bed with a packet of cigarettes.
Those goddamned cigarettes.
I hate them. I hate them more then I can put into words. I loath seeing them, smelling the awful odor of their smoke; even hearing about them had the ability to enrage me. They had taken such a big impact on all of us.
Once Takeru and Kasaan had heard about the -cancer- they tried showing their sympathy. Calls were more frequent and they visited a lot more too. I suppose I don't mind, but it's all so artificial. They didn't pretend to care before we find out. Takeru had always loved dad and tried to spend time with the both of us, but after a while it began to fade. He still comes around of course, but not half as much as before. That is- until the doctors called them. Now both the Takaishis seem to be at our house all the time.
Don't even act like you love him, Nancy. You don't. I used to think you did, but then you showed how much you hated him and *me* after the two of you were divorced. I missed you, but now I don't anymore. At least- not as much. All the feelings of regret or melancholy that plagued me were soon replaced with anger and hostility. I don't mind the woman, but I'm not sure I love her.
Love:
It's such a weird emotion, and you often don't know that you had it until it's gone.
Sure, I *had* my mother there for me, making meals, telling me how much she cared, even things as small as applying medication to my cuts and wounds.
I glance down at the slashes demonstrated from my arms. Hey, mom, think you have any band-aids in your first aid kit big enough for these?
Didn't think so.
And what about you, Gabumon? If you knew how I was doing, would you care? Do you even think about me now?
It's kind of strange. I promised you that I would let people into my mind and tell them how I'm feeling; yet nowadays everyone asks how I'm doing, but I'm too tired to tell them.
You'd think that they might've given up now, seeing as I haven't given them a straight answer for what- 3 months? Something like that. Tai's still trying, and so is Takeru. They put on their little happy faces and ask me if I'd like to go to nice places with them.
But I'm always too drained. I hate going out now. I hate going where there will be other people to stare at me and judge me. I just don't want to spend time with anybody.
Well, actually, that's a lie.
There is somebody that I wouldn't mind spending time with; but unfortunately, they're already taken.
Sora Takenouchi, do you ever pause to wonder how I'm doing?
Probably not. You've got Tai now, it's over between us. The memories are still fresh in my mind even though I've tried countless times to forget. You're not mine to think about; you belong to the leader of our pack.
And here I am, stuck as the lone wolf, while the rest of you have each other to depend on. I don't know why I haven't talked to them; every one of them have tried to get through to me. But it hasn't worked. I just don't want to explain things to them anymore. They think they can tell what I'm thinking, but they can't. They can only imagine. And even then, they probably can't see what I have to go through.
Everything; slipping out from under you. It's like- you're standing on a foundation, with pillars underneath to make sure that you won't fall.
But once and a while, something will happen, and one of your pillars will snap and fall to the ground. You've still got others to protect you, but for how long? How long will it be until they're all gone, and you've got nothing left but to plummet to whatever's waiting for you on the ground?
It's a question I hate to think about. You can't blame me, either. Who *does* like contemplating about something like that? It's like asking 'How long until I die?' An answer that you don't want to know, even though it might explode in front of you at any time.
First my dad- then her... I have a feeling somebody upstairs doesn't like me.
I sigh as I look out the window at the billions of stars that shimmer and glisten in front of me. It reminds me of the earth- there are hundreds of people you'll see every day, but how often do you stop to think about that one individual? How often will you stop to think about one tiny stare and how it came to be there?
The phone rings so I pry myself off of my bed then snatch the phone from my dresser. Yeah, I have a phone in my room, mostly because I'm the only one who uses it, seeing as dad doesn't talk that much, period.
"Hello?"
I listen to the voice and the breathing on the other side. It sounds mostly like Jyou.
"Hey..." I answer languidly. I don't really feel much like talking right now.
"Yeah, hey," He replies quickly. "I was just calling about your father- I'm helping my dad a bit tonight, calling people and whatnot, and it turns out he's about due to get treated again."
"Meaning what?" I ask in a bored tone.
He pauses for a moment but regains himself. "Just bring him down to the hospital tomorrow and then he'll do the rest..."
"Alright."
We both stop for a while; he obviously doesn't know what to say. I know I'm being a pain in the ass, but I'm beyond caring anymore. Jyou's a good guy after all and it's not like I have anything against him. We just hadn't talked for a while. The only reason he calls me is to tell me about dad or school, or stuff like that. I had never been as close to him as I had been to Tai and some of the others.
"I guess I'll be going now..." He says slowly to both of our relief.
"I'll see you around." I answer, and then we both hung up.
Yeah, turns out I've lied again; my chances of seeing *anybody* soon were pretty slim. School was turning out to be a place where the kids could see me for a while and interrogate how I was feeling, though I've never said much. And now, I've even started to skip to get away from them- and everything. I don't want to be here- I don't want to be there- I don't want to be anywhere...
I collapse back onto my bed, smelling the comforting scent of the familiar sheets and beginning to count the stars. Eventually I'm lost in another dream and praying with everything I have that I might be able to escape from my life and into it, instead.
***
Cos you were all "Yellow,"
I drew a line,
I drew a line for you,
Oh what a thing to do,
And it was all "Yellow."
After waking up to see Kari and the sun beaming at full blast, I topple out of bed and got dressed, then advanced to the table where I started on breakfast. I'm allowed to take my time, seeing as today's a Saturday.
I pick at my eggs while guzzling down my orange juice and staring at the atmosphere around me. My mother's standing over a frying pan making a frenzy of hash browns while my dad sat in the chair next to me, reading the newspaper. Kari, being the early bird she is, had left long ago to go meet Miyako and Iori near the corner store. I think she said that she'd be back around noon, but I'm not completely sure.
"I'm going to go down to the park..." I call to my parents, "I told Sora I'd meet her there in half an hour..."
"Half an hour?!" My mom exclaims, spinning around to face me while letting the potato patties simmer, "But that's plenty of time! Why on earth would you want to leave so early??"
"Trust me, mother..." I say with a sigh, "I've been late so many times, that if I were to do it one more time, she would kill me. Literally."
I could see my dad smirking from behind the paper while he said, "I've never had *that* happen before..."
Mother dearest just crosses her arms, then rolls her eyes sarcastically. "Tai, the park is only five minutes away, you've got plenty of time..."
"Yeah, but-" I start, "I promised-"
"Meaning-that you'll have an extra fifteen minutes to start picking up around your room..."
"Mom..." I moan, trying to get out of it, "I-"
"Hurry up..." She continues with a laugh, "I'm just kidding... Now go on and meet your girlfriend..."
"Thanks!" I cried cheerfully, then bounded out the door, while leaving my plates and cutlery cluttering the table.
"Tai..." She groans with her hands on her hips, but I pretend that I didn't hear, and go out the door.
***
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
And you know for you,
I'd bleed myself dry for you,
I'd bleed myself dry.
I cringe a bit from the sudden burst of pain that exfoliates through my skin and watch as the blood dances over the blade and off of my wrist. My eyes are shut so that I may derive every moment from the experience and engrave into my brain. It's like a high, only better- you're there; conscious, able to sense everything that's happening. The touch of the red fluid sliding off of me and into the sink, the bitter yet sweet scent of the blood that floods into my nostrils; so strong you can almost taste it in your mouth. And the sight of your exposed flesh, that creates a tide of sentiments with the ability to override you while pressing down upon the cut.
I open my eyes again to see that my hands look as if they've been painted with a bright red paint. Deciding it's time to rinse, I reach out an arm to turn on the tap when suddenly I hear the doorbell.
Caught off guard, I let the knife slip and feel it piercing the skin over my hand.
"Fuck!!" I cry out, still fumbling with the tap and trying to turn it on. My fingers kept slipping from the blood, making it impossible to actually turn the valve. Finally, I try using both hands at once, and I abruptly feel the water trickling over my surface. Automatically, I slump down from the blast of ease that the liquid gave, then remember that there was still somebody at the door.
I try to just ignore it- but then I hear to hear a short click, and then someone coming in the entrance.
"Hello??"
I recognize the little voice all too well. It's Takeru. For a moment I don't know how he had gotten in, but then I remember giving him a key a while back just in case he wanted to come by and see dad if I wasn't in.
"Shit..." I mumble in irritation, grabbing some toilet paper and pressing it onto my wrists with all my force. It hurts- like hell- but I had to get the room cleaned up before he comes close enough to tell what's happening.
"Matt?? Dad??" He yells, his footsteps coming closer and closer to the door.
"Uh- yeah, hey T.K.!" I reply to him, knowing that if I don't say anything, he'll probably just hear me making a racket in the bathroom. Lucky for me, the door's locked, but I'm still frantically trying to figure out what to tell him.
"Hey, Matt!" He answers good-naturedly, "Uh- where... are you??"
I struggle to make all the blood flow down the drain while replying with fake vivacity, "I'm in the bathroom... Go sit down in the living room and I'll be right with you, alright??"
"Okay..." he replies, while I listen intensely to the sound of him walking back to where I had sent him.
I watch the clear solution wipe the blood from my dagger, until I decide it's sanitary, then close it and shove it into my pocket. Making sure that my edges of my shirt covered the slashed contours, I check a final time to ensure everything is in order, then step out.
"Hey..." I say tediously as he directs his attention from staring at the wall and back at me.
"How've you been?" He asks cheerfully with his blue eyes radiating.
I play with my fingers, still feeling awkward, then reply, "I'm fine..." Judging from his face, I'm sure that he wanted me to say more. Disappointment and Takeru didn't mix, seeing as every time he tries to hide it- he fails.
"And-how's dad doing??" He continues, still trying to look chipper and bright eyed. Sorry, T.K., but I can see right through you. *Nobody's* happy all the time, why bother to pretend?
"He's due for another appointment today..." I say slowly, trying not to think about it. "I think I'm just going to call a cab..."
"You can get Tai to drive you, can't you?" He asks uncertainly, though I'm not sure why.
"I could..." I reply, "But what's the point??" I didn't really want to talk to Tai, knowing that he'd take it upon himself to pry into my affaires.
Takeru looked a bit confused at the fact that I was reluctant to be around my so-called 'best friend', but added, "Why not? You'll be saving ten bucks and it won't take as long..."
"I guess..." I answer casually. "I'll call him a little later... and if he's there, I'll try to convince him to take dad."
"Alright!" T.K. says freely, "I-" And for a reason I can't see, he stops talking and stares at my wrists. "A-are you alright??" He asks cautiously, "Your-arm looks like it's bleeding..."
"Oh that~!" I exclaim, covering my hands from view instantly, looking more jumpy then I intended to, "That's just a paper-cut I got a couple minutes ago... I was- writing something..." I smile to seem more inconspicuous, so he decides not to persist.
"Look..." I add, "I'm just finishing my-homework right now, so I'm sort of busy... I'll call you a little later, all right?" Of course, I wasn't being entirely honest, but he didn't have to know that.
"Okay..." he says finally, though looking a little hurt from being tossed aside for *homework*. "I suppose I'll talk to you then..."
He gets up and begins walking to the door, then says, "Tell dad I came by- alright?"
"Yeah, okay..." I reply, "I'll be sure to mention it to him..."
Even if I didn't find pleasure in having people come by to sympathize, I knew that dad liked knowing people cared enough to stop by. I guess I would too.
"Bye, Yamato!"
His voice echoes through the hallway as he steps out then treads down to the elevator.
"Bye, Takaru..." I say in a bare whisper, then walk back into the apartment and begin preparing dad some lunch.
***
That was actually longer then I intended it to be ^_^;; Peachy and Miam.
AND REMEMBER KIDDIES!
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