Another chapter! :D This ones shorter than the last, but it has bitch fighting! Bitch fighting bishonens! [insert maniacal laughter here]. So, on with the rampant slappi- I mean fic.
Oh, and to anyone who was confused by the last chapter [ I'm looking at you, Saria-the-green-haired ;) ] don't worry, it *will* make sense soon enough, I promise!
***
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."
I wake up to the wafting smell of tea and assorted medicine scattered around me. As I pry open my eyes, it doesn't take long to figure out where I am. The closed blinds, the clothes strewn throughout the floor, and the familiar feeling of my commodious bed sheets all indicate that I'm back in my room. But- how??
I don't even have to ask; the face of my digimon soon pops up, grinning. "Hey, you're awake!" he exclaims cheerfully.
The second that he says this, the door opens and Kari flies in- clutching a cup and saucer in each hand while wearing a pink apron- sort of like the one Matt used to wear- and a harsh expression on her face. "Good- you're up~!" I think for a moment that I might have been wrong about her being angry over something, but she cries instantly, "What the heck were you thinking!? Going into the digital world alone!? When we found you, Tai, you were unconscious and bleeding to death!! What happened?!?"
"Sorry."
Yeah, I know that I sound like a dope, but I really don't have any idea what else to say. I'm afraid that I might have to wait through an uncomfortable silence, but she continues.
"Agumon found you near an old well, then changed into Greymon and dragged you back here! How he managed to digivolve is a mystery to me, but he did, and you've been asleep ever since." Her tone soon drops from the frustrated irritated one and into another that is softer. She sits next to me on the bed and seems to calm down a bit after breathing heavily. "I was so worried…" She says with her voice cracking, "You looked terrible… You're head was bleeding so much and you're face was paler then I've ever seen it before. I was too scared to tell mom and dad what happened, so we just harbored you in here for a while, hoping that your condition might improve."
I'm not really listening now, though I probably should be. I don't mean to seem rude or anything, but I've got something else on my mind.
"What time is it?" I ask, searching for my alarm clock, but with no avail. Five bucks it's stuck under my mattress again.
"Uh- about eleven thirty… Why?" She replies, glancing at her watch briefly with a confused simper on her face.
"Shit!" I shout louder then I intended to, and begin lifting off my sheets, scooting over to the dresser and pulling out a pair of jeans and a top, "I'm late…" I motion for Kari to get out- I mean come on, who *wants* their little sister to see them changing? But she just stares with an air of confusion.
"Don't tell me you're going out now…" She says, sounding more like my mom than a younger sibling, "You're not in any condition to-"
"It's important." I interrupt, stepping over and grabbing her manually then walking her over to the door and shoving her out. "Normally, I would just let it go, really I would Kari- but I promised him that I'd be there..."
"Yeah, right…" She mutters while I slam the door on her. I guess she's let her curiosity get the better of her once she asks, "Who?" I heard her saying from the other side of the door, but I continue struggling to get my shirt on and act as if I can't hear. Once I've managed to get that onto my chest and smoothed it out so I looked *a little* presentable, I tugged on my pants then checked my hair in a mirror. Kari's put this massive bandage over my forehead, which I try to peel off despite how much it stings, then go out again.
"What's with you-Tai, you've got to give it time to heal!" She asks in a worried voice.
"Alright, alright… I'll put something on it… But I can't at the moment…" I reply, in what I hope sounds casually, but am forced back into my uptight state as I grab the car keys then tear out the front door. I can hear her yelling something at me though I don't have the time to stop and listen. "See ya, later!" I call and begin sprinting down the hallway and to the stairwell. I slide down the banister, ignoring the yelling of a mother who begins to rant about 'how I'm setting a bad example for her children'. Sorry lady, but I'm in a bit of a rush.
Once I reach the bottom of the staircase, I fling the door open and race into the garage of the apartment where the car is sitting, untouched. I run over, not bothering to watch for puddles or other dangers on the concrete, then unlock the auto's door and climb in. My hands seem to have a minds of their own as they crams the keys into the hole, while I watch the lights all blink on at once like the motor which begins purring zestfully. I get a glimpse of the clock above me, and note that the time is now 11:50.
Fuck… I told him I'd be there at noon…
I fidget around with the handbrake then ram my foot onto the accelerator, almost hitting the wall in front of me and but backing up just in time. Keep in mind- if I trash the car, my dad will probably have my head on a silver platter.
Trying not to speed is hard once I actually get onto the highway, even though it'd be difficult with the heavy about of cars surrounding me on each side. Getting *anywhere* in Odaiba can be impossible sometimes… I keep glancing up at the timepiece, irascibly watching as each second ticks by.
I admit- I'm usually not this one of those maniacs on the road who get into accidents about six times every month, but today is special. I promised him I'd be there…
Normally I wouldn't care, but lately I'd jump for a chance to have him want me around. I know that I sound like some pathetic puppy, following him everywhere, but I just-… I don't really know how to put it without sounding like an idiot. I guess I miss being around him… Before- when we were 'friends', I never had to worry about it, but now it's like he- he hates me… and everything about me. I don't bother to try to understand it anymore, but God, it still hurts. Even if he doesn't intend for it to. Heck, he probably doesn't even notice.
Damnit, I'm getting all sentimental again. I have to save that stuff for Sora…
I pull the brake hastily as the light switches to red and I tap my fingers on the sideboard in an exasperated fashion. Hurry up already, will you? Damn lights… Finally it changes again and I force my foot down on the pedal again, shooting away from the other cars behind us.
Soon enough I'm at the large apartment building, parking the car in a tiny parking space in front. I get out then lock the door, jumping out and running at full blast up the stairs and to Yamato's home. Once I get there I begin knocking on the door indignantly until at last, I hear someone's footsteps coming over to greet me.
I watch as fragile fingers begin to pry the door open slowly until he spies who it is and swings it forcefully. "You're late…" He says, eyes glinting with disapproval.
"Sorry…" I apologize immediately, "There was- I uh- slept in…" It was half true…
"Whatever."
The famous Yamato Ishida quote said while he stands in the doorway with his eyes rolling sarcastically in that famous Yamato Ishida way.
"Uh… We'd better get going…" I say, trying to avoid the silence that was beginning to creep over our conversation, "Do you want me to help you get your dad into the car?"
"He's not a fucking cripple, Tai." He jeers sharply, "He can walk."
I wince from the sudden remark, but try to regain myself. "Yeah… I'm sorry…" I say quickly, "I didn't mean it like that…"
"You're only here because we need a ride." He shoots coldly, "That's it. I didn't call you because I want to get all buddy- buddy with you; I called because I thought that you might have the decency not to pry into my business and just get me where I want to go."
My hopes of getting him to-oh, I dunno- at least having a satisfactory discussion- are instantly crushed. That's all I am to him- some goddamned cabby. Fine then- I don't have to take his crap if that's all I'm here for. I'm the one doing *him* a favor, not the other way around.
"Then hurry the hell up…" I say, frigidly, "If that's all you want, then just get him downstairs. The sooner that he's loaded into the back, the sooner we can leave." I don't bother to wait for his reaction, but instead storm out the door, outside, and back to the van.
***
Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
"Come on, Dad…" I say slowly, going into his room and helping him out of bed. He coughs a bit as I pulls the covers off of him and wrap a jacket around him in it's place. "We're going to the hospital, you have to get treated again…" His eyes concealed a pitiful assumption grief as I held his shoulder and tried to support him. He's been sitting in bed for so long that his muscles are degenerating into nothing…
I attempt to abandon that thought to the back of my mind, and trudge over to the front door. I probably should have taken Tai's help when he offered it, but now that I've turned him down like *that*, I'm not about to go running after him. You see- Matt Ishida doesn't like to 'say sorry'. Maybe a couple of years ago, sure, but not anymore… It's against my nature.
I pull him out to the hall and walk slowly until we get to the stairway. It takes a time span of about 20 minutes to do it, but as soon as we get out there, Tai's still wearing this look on his face like he's ready to go try and massacre someone. He honks the car horn in perturbation causing my temper to rise.
"Calm down…" I hiss while opening the back door and helping dad into the backseat. I check to be sure that his seatbelt's on properly then get into the front-chair myself. Making a point of it not to stare at the big haired one, I gaze outside instead and listen as the car motor begins to hum and turns left, heading towards the hospital. The streets aren't as deserted as they normally are, after all it's Sunday morning- not many people are 'up and about'.
I can feel my eyes glaze a bit- and the only thing I can see is the reflection of the side mirror and in it, Tai's tanned face. He looks about as happy as I feel. I still don't know why I let him get to me so much; it's just that everything he says tends to rub me the wrong way. He probably doesn't deserve the abuse, but hell, if he doesn't fight back, it's like inviting me to see how far I can push before he snaps.
He doesn't know that I'm watching him, and I force down a chuckle as I watch him open his mouth then close it up, over and over again, obviously trying to think of something to say.
"What happened to your wrists?" he asks, snapping me from the dazed state.
What the- how did he know?!
I shoot a quick glance at my arms and see the edges of my bandages being displayed from my shirt. Hastily, I pull away and hide them from view. "It's nothing…" I say, shielding myself, "Just something I did while making dad supper…The knife slipped."
I see him take a moment to stare at his own skin- running on finger over the veins. Probably glad that his were intact. I let my eyes wander along his face and then up to his brow where I stopped for second to ask, "And what about you, Tai? Someone plant a soccer ball in your head?" I expect him to fire a quick comeback at me, but he doesn't.
Instead he just freezes on the spot and says, "No… I just-" He pauses a second before adding, "…I walked into a door."
"Smooth…" I say with an attitude, though it doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell that he's lying. Scanning my own forehead, I realize that his cut is in the same place that I felt that-headache-after I finished slitting my arms yesterday…
Weird.
"Matt?"
"Yeah?"
I spin back to face him, not really being able to comprehend the expression that he's using. Sort of like a cross between determination and extortion.
"We miss you…" He continues softly while staring out at the road in front of him like I'm not even there, "…All of us do…"
I don't say anything. Am I supposed to? I'm not left time to worry though, he just keeps going.
"There's no point pretending that we've all forgotten about you, Matt, because we haven't. Isn't it obvious we're still trying!? T.K. comes over to your place almost every day and you *always* blow him off for one reason or another~!"
"Oh God, Tai…" I say sarcastically, "It's not hard to see that the only reason he comes over is to visit dad. He couldn't give a damn whether or not-"
"Come off it, Matt~!" He replies abruptly, with a touch of ire in his voice that was raising a mile a minute, "Why are you so anxious to prove that you don't need us anymore!?!"
I sit in my seat, still having trouble thinking of what to say next. I haven't talked to him like this for a while. Except it seems different now. How can he say all that?? He doesn't know how I'm feeling. He can't even *imagine* how I'm feeling~! It's like- he's yelling at me through a glass wall, staring, *thinking that he knows me*, and telling me how I should live my life!
"What the hell gives you that idea!?" I shoot back, "Just because I don't-"
"Quit lying to me, Yamato~!!!" He screams, causing me to edge away a bit in my chair. "I try to talk to you- but you refuse!! Why!?! I'm still the same person as before!!"
"Well, maybe I'm not~!" I yell, glaring furiously. "Maybe things have changed!"
"What's different!?" He asks. "Why can't you at least give me a straight answer!? I-"
"You want to know what happened?!" I intervene immediately, "Then I'll tell you~! The friendship is *dead* between us, Tai~!!! Get it?? Dead!! It's *gone*!"
Even though he sounds annoyed and angrier than anything else, I still manage to hear the hint of sadness that's evidently there. It's like he's- taking my character change as a personal insult… And even though I didn't mean for it to affect him that much- I guess I had slipped in that category.
Yes, even though I'm a jackass when I want to be, I still have a bit of a heart, in spite of how much I'd sometimes like to get rid of it. "Look…" I say in a much more delicate tone of voice, "I didn't mean to sound so harsh… It's just- we're different people now… I've got myself to deal with, and jobs, so I don't have as much time for you guys…" Some of it was true.
"What-?" He says, still sounding like his vocal chords are going to explode, "So what you're telling me, is since you don't have any time for us, you want to blow us off completely??"
"That's not what I said!" I shriek defensively, "But I've got other things on my mind! My world doesn't revolve around the rest of you, you know!!"
"I didn't ask for that…" He protests, "I just wanted to know why you've been making excuses to get away from us."
"I just told you~!" I say with my frustrating building again, "It's not to get away from you- it's just that I've got jobs to dangle between and- then there's dad-"
His face still looks like he's about to break down and start crying as he shouts, "Is that it!? Goddamnit, Matt! You've got your life to live, you can't waste it all on your father~!"
I begin to retort something in reply but he interrupts me by mumbling, "It's not like he's got anything left… He sits in bed all day- I mean, what sort of life is that?? You're lying to yourself, Yamato, and you know it deep down, too. You're dad's going to die just like all the doctors say he will, and there's nothing you can do about it."
He just hit a nerve.
Well, more like- hit a nerve, tempted it for a while then tried to sever it to pieces.
I'm on him so fast that he barely knows what's happening, crushing him with my weight, holding the collar of his shirt in my hand and using the other fist to clench in front of his face. I can see him trembling in terror with this look on his face like a puppy whose about to be kicked. I doubt he's ever seen me this upset. Sure, we used to fight when we were kids, but that was different. And we both knew it.
"If you *EVER* say *ANYTHING* like that -again--…" I say in a bare whisper, "Or else you won't live long enough to tell any one else about it. Got it-Taichi--?" I flick a piece of his hair just to harass him, then listen as he begins stuttering a response.
"I'm-I'm sorry…" He pleads, "…I really am…I just-"
"Save it." I say, stopping him midway through, "I don't want to hear you're *fucking* excuses. Now- hurry up and get us to the hospital before you say something else that might end with you getting your sorry little *ass* kicked. Alright?"
He's silent, which was probably good for his sake. Personally, I wouldn't have minded trying to punch him, but then I wouldn't have any way of actually getting to the hospital. I repose back into my seat and redo up my seatbelt, then assume my position of staring outside at the people walking by.
Several minutes pass until I catch his voice again.
"Matt- I-"
"Didn't you hear me?" I snap ferociously, "I just told you to shut- the- hell- up. And I meant it, too. So, try doing yourself a favor and keep that big mouth of yours *closed*."
By now I didn't care if I was 'hurting ickle Tai's feelings'. He had crossed a line, and he should have been well aware of that before he said it. It was weird- usually when I fight him like that, he gets the upper hand easily, this time- it sure didn't work out that way… It was probably just because I was upset…What was he trying to do- screaming something like that!?! The little son of a bitch…
I turn around to check on dad and notice that he's sleeping. He looks so peaceful that way.
Hell, he looks peaceful doing pretty much anything now. He doesn't talk much. I don't mind though… Instead I do the talking for both of us. It's sometimes hard to tell if he's listening or not, but I think it makes us both feel better if one of us is saying *something*.
Don't worry, Dad, I know that you're all right. Yeah, the cigarettes have taken their toll, but other then that, he's okay… Just tired. There's nothing wrong with that. And with the amount of work that he used to get done at the office, that made sense. He just needed a vacation.
That's all it is. He's just taking a well-deserved break.
Pretty soon he'll be up again- just like before.
Soon enough we're at the hospital- but sure not fast enough. The rest of the car ride had been spent in a thick silence.
"Come on, Dad…" I say, pushing him gingerly in order to wake him up, "Time to get up; we're there already…" His mild black eyes blinked in confusion, but smile once they see the fake expression of tranquillity in my face. I help him out of the car, the whole time with Tai standing there gaping at me like an idiot. He kept trying to spit out apologizes, but I just kept on piercing his phrases once they were halfway done, and then attacking verbally once again.
"I-I'll come on…" He says slowly, still shook up from before. I instantly cast him a death glare and he cowers back a bit. "Or not…" He decides to just sit in the waiting room while dad gets treated again. I can never remember the name of the drug, but it's usually pretty fast. We go in- we spend a couple minutes- and then we leave.
Dad and I walk in first then trudge over the receptionist's desk where I announce that we have arrived, and she assured us that doctor Kido would be with us shortly. Yes- as you might've guessed, that's Jyou's father. To my surprise, I feel a quick tap on the shoulder and rapidly turn around to see that it's none other then the blue-haired guy, sporting glasses, himself. He smiles and stars rambling on and on about 'how nice it is to see us again', and that sort of bullshit. Of course, I don't believe a word of it but Jyou's a good guy so I don't hold it against him.
After noticing that I'm not the most talkative person in the room, he goes over and begins speaking to Tai, whose no doubt a lot warmer than I am. Pretty soon though, the doctor comes in drags dad away with him and a couple extra nurses. I'm not in the mood to try and make small talk with the others- *especially* not Tai- so I bury myself in a magazine instead and block out everything and everyone else in the room.
***
Me oh my, Matt came off as such a bitch there… :D eh well. Angst is angst!
And before we leave,
Remember kiddies!
~Reviews are like presents! Nice to give, but even better to receive!!~
Kindly review!
Oh, and to anyone who was confused by the last chapter [ I'm looking at you, Saria-the-green-haired ;) ] don't worry, it *will* make sense soon enough, I promise!
***
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done,
And it was all "Yellow."
I wake up to the wafting smell of tea and assorted medicine scattered around me. As I pry open my eyes, it doesn't take long to figure out where I am. The closed blinds, the clothes strewn throughout the floor, and the familiar feeling of my commodious bed sheets all indicate that I'm back in my room. But- how??
I don't even have to ask; the face of my digimon soon pops up, grinning. "Hey, you're awake!" he exclaims cheerfully.
The second that he says this, the door opens and Kari flies in- clutching a cup and saucer in each hand while wearing a pink apron- sort of like the one Matt used to wear- and a harsh expression on her face. "Good- you're up~!" I think for a moment that I might have been wrong about her being angry over something, but she cries instantly, "What the heck were you thinking!? Going into the digital world alone!? When we found you, Tai, you were unconscious and bleeding to death!! What happened?!?"
"Sorry."
Yeah, I know that I sound like a dope, but I really don't have any idea what else to say. I'm afraid that I might have to wait through an uncomfortable silence, but she continues.
"Agumon found you near an old well, then changed into Greymon and dragged you back here! How he managed to digivolve is a mystery to me, but he did, and you've been asleep ever since." Her tone soon drops from the frustrated irritated one and into another that is softer. She sits next to me on the bed and seems to calm down a bit after breathing heavily. "I was so worried…" She says with her voice cracking, "You looked terrible… You're head was bleeding so much and you're face was paler then I've ever seen it before. I was too scared to tell mom and dad what happened, so we just harbored you in here for a while, hoping that your condition might improve."
I'm not really listening now, though I probably should be. I don't mean to seem rude or anything, but I've got something else on my mind.
"What time is it?" I ask, searching for my alarm clock, but with no avail. Five bucks it's stuck under my mattress again.
"Uh- about eleven thirty… Why?" She replies, glancing at her watch briefly with a confused simper on her face.
"Shit!" I shout louder then I intended to, and begin lifting off my sheets, scooting over to the dresser and pulling out a pair of jeans and a top, "I'm late…" I motion for Kari to get out- I mean come on, who *wants* their little sister to see them changing? But she just stares with an air of confusion.
"Don't tell me you're going out now…" She says, sounding more like my mom than a younger sibling, "You're not in any condition to-"
"It's important." I interrupt, stepping over and grabbing her manually then walking her over to the door and shoving her out. "Normally, I would just let it go, really I would Kari- but I promised him that I'd be there..."
"Yeah, right…" She mutters while I slam the door on her. I guess she's let her curiosity get the better of her once she asks, "Who?" I heard her saying from the other side of the door, but I continue struggling to get my shirt on and act as if I can't hear. Once I've managed to get that onto my chest and smoothed it out so I looked *a little* presentable, I tugged on my pants then checked my hair in a mirror. Kari's put this massive bandage over my forehead, which I try to peel off despite how much it stings, then go out again.
"What's with you-Tai, you've got to give it time to heal!" She asks in a worried voice.
"Alright, alright… I'll put something on it… But I can't at the moment…" I reply, in what I hope sounds casually, but am forced back into my uptight state as I grab the car keys then tear out the front door. I can hear her yelling something at me though I don't have the time to stop and listen. "See ya, later!" I call and begin sprinting down the hallway and to the stairwell. I slide down the banister, ignoring the yelling of a mother who begins to rant about 'how I'm setting a bad example for her children'. Sorry lady, but I'm in a bit of a rush.
Once I reach the bottom of the staircase, I fling the door open and race into the garage of the apartment where the car is sitting, untouched. I run over, not bothering to watch for puddles or other dangers on the concrete, then unlock the auto's door and climb in. My hands seem to have a minds of their own as they crams the keys into the hole, while I watch the lights all blink on at once like the motor which begins purring zestfully. I get a glimpse of the clock above me, and note that the time is now 11:50.
Fuck… I told him I'd be there at noon…
I fidget around with the handbrake then ram my foot onto the accelerator, almost hitting the wall in front of me and but backing up just in time. Keep in mind- if I trash the car, my dad will probably have my head on a silver platter.
Trying not to speed is hard once I actually get onto the highway, even though it'd be difficult with the heavy about of cars surrounding me on each side. Getting *anywhere* in Odaiba can be impossible sometimes… I keep glancing up at the timepiece, irascibly watching as each second ticks by.
I admit- I'm usually not this one of those maniacs on the road who get into accidents about six times every month, but today is special. I promised him I'd be there…
Normally I wouldn't care, but lately I'd jump for a chance to have him want me around. I know that I sound like some pathetic puppy, following him everywhere, but I just-… I don't really know how to put it without sounding like an idiot. I guess I miss being around him… Before- when we were 'friends', I never had to worry about it, but now it's like he- he hates me… and everything about me. I don't bother to try to understand it anymore, but God, it still hurts. Even if he doesn't intend for it to. Heck, he probably doesn't even notice.
Damnit, I'm getting all sentimental again. I have to save that stuff for Sora…
I pull the brake hastily as the light switches to red and I tap my fingers on the sideboard in an exasperated fashion. Hurry up already, will you? Damn lights… Finally it changes again and I force my foot down on the pedal again, shooting away from the other cars behind us.
Soon enough I'm at the large apartment building, parking the car in a tiny parking space in front. I get out then lock the door, jumping out and running at full blast up the stairs and to Yamato's home. Once I get there I begin knocking on the door indignantly until at last, I hear someone's footsteps coming over to greet me.
I watch as fragile fingers begin to pry the door open slowly until he spies who it is and swings it forcefully. "You're late…" He says, eyes glinting with disapproval.
"Sorry…" I apologize immediately, "There was- I uh- slept in…" It was half true…
"Whatever."
The famous Yamato Ishida quote said while he stands in the doorway with his eyes rolling sarcastically in that famous Yamato Ishida way.
"Uh… We'd better get going…" I say, trying to avoid the silence that was beginning to creep over our conversation, "Do you want me to help you get your dad into the car?"
"He's not a fucking cripple, Tai." He jeers sharply, "He can walk."
I wince from the sudden remark, but try to regain myself. "Yeah… I'm sorry…" I say quickly, "I didn't mean it like that…"
"You're only here because we need a ride." He shoots coldly, "That's it. I didn't call you because I want to get all buddy- buddy with you; I called because I thought that you might have the decency not to pry into my business and just get me where I want to go."
My hopes of getting him to-oh, I dunno- at least having a satisfactory discussion- are instantly crushed. That's all I am to him- some goddamned cabby. Fine then- I don't have to take his crap if that's all I'm here for. I'm the one doing *him* a favor, not the other way around.
"Then hurry the hell up…" I say, frigidly, "If that's all you want, then just get him downstairs. The sooner that he's loaded into the back, the sooner we can leave." I don't bother to wait for his reaction, but instead storm out the door, outside, and back to the van.
***
Your skin
Oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.
"Come on, Dad…" I say slowly, going into his room and helping him out of bed. He coughs a bit as I pulls the covers off of him and wrap a jacket around him in it's place. "We're going to the hospital, you have to get treated again…" His eyes concealed a pitiful assumption grief as I held his shoulder and tried to support him. He's been sitting in bed for so long that his muscles are degenerating into nothing…
I attempt to abandon that thought to the back of my mind, and trudge over to the front door. I probably should have taken Tai's help when he offered it, but now that I've turned him down like *that*, I'm not about to go running after him. You see- Matt Ishida doesn't like to 'say sorry'. Maybe a couple of years ago, sure, but not anymore… It's against my nature.
I pull him out to the hall and walk slowly until we get to the stairway. It takes a time span of about 20 minutes to do it, but as soon as we get out there, Tai's still wearing this look on his face like he's ready to go try and massacre someone. He honks the car horn in perturbation causing my temper to rise.
"Calm down…" I hiss while opening the back door and helping dad into the backseat. I check to be sure that his seatbelt's on properly then get into the front-chair myself. Making a point of it not to stare at the big haired one, I gaze outside instead and listen as the car motor begins to hum and turns left, heading towards the hospital. The streets aren't as deserted as they normally are, after all it's Sunday morning- not many people are 'up and about'.
I can feel my eyes glaze a bit- and the only thing I can see is the reflection of the side mirror and in it, Tai's tanned face. He looks about as happy as I feel. I still don't know why I let him get to me so much; it's just that everything he says tends to rub me the wrong way. He probably doesn't deserve the abuse, but hell, if he doesn't fight back, it's like inviting me to see how far I can push before he snaps.
He doesn't know that I'm watching him, and I force down a chuckle as I watch him open his mouth then close it up, over and over again, obviously trying to think of something to say.
"What happened to your wrists?" he asks, snapping me from the dazed state.
What the- how did he know?!
I shoot a quick glance at my arms and see the edges of my bandages being displayed from my shirt. Hastily, I pull away and hide them from view. "It's nothing…" I say, shielding myself, "Just something I did while making dad supper…The knife slipped."
I see him take a moment to stare at his own skin- running on finger over the veins. Probably glad that his were intact. I let my eyes wander along his face and then up to his brow where I stopped for second to ask, "And what about you, Tai? Someone plant a soccer ball in your head?" I expect him to fire a quick comeback at me, but he doesn't.
Instead he just freezes on the spot and says, "No… I just-" He pauses a second before adding, "…I walked into a door."
"Smooth…" I say with an attitude, though it doesn't take a rocket scientist to tell that he's lying. Scanning my own forehead, I realize that his cut is in the same place that I felt that-headache-after I finished slitting my arms yesterday…
Weird.
"Matt?"
"Yeah?"
I spin back to face him, not really being able to comprehend the expression that he's using. Sort of like a cross between determination and extortion.
"We miss you…" He continues softly while staring out at the road in front of him like I'm not even there, "…All of us do…"
I don't say anything. Am I supposed to? I'm not left time to worry though, he just keeps going.
"There's no point pretending that we've all forgotten about you, Matt, because we haven't. Isn't it obvious we're still trying!? T.K. comes over to your place almost every day and you *always* blow him off for one reason or another~!"
"Oh God, Tai…" I say sarcastically, "It's not hard to see that the only reason he comes over is to visit dad. He couldn't give a damn whether or not-"
"Come off it, Matt~!" He replies abruptly, with a touch of ire in his voice that was raising a mile a minute, "Why are you so anxious to prove that you don't need us anymore!?!"
I sit in my seat, still having trouble thinking of what to say next. I haven't talked to him like this for a while. Except it seems different now. How can he say all that?? He doesn't know how I'm feeling. He can't even *imagine* how I'm feeling~! It's like- he's yelling at me through a glass wall, staring, *thinking that he knows me*, and telling me how I should live my life!
"What the hell gives you that idea!?" I shoot back, "Just because I don't-"
"Quit lying to me, Yamato~!!!" He screams, causing me to edge away a bit in my chair. "I try to talk to you- but you refuse!! Why!?! I'm still the same person as before!!"
"Well, maybe I'm not~!" I yell, glaring furiously. "Maybe things have changed!"
"What's different!?" He asks. "Why can't you at least give me a straight answer!? I-"
"You want to know what happened?!" I intervene immediately, "Then I'll tell you~! The friendship is *dead* between us, Tai~!!! Get it?? Dead!! It's *gone*!"
Even though he sounds annoyed and angrier than anything else, I still manage to hear the hint of sadness that's evidently there. It's like he's- taking my character change as a personal insult… And even though I didn't mean for it to affect him that much- I guess I had slipped in that category.
Yes, even though I'm a jackass when I want to be, I still have a bit of a heart, in spite of how much I'd sometimes like to get rid of it. "Look…" I say in a much more delicate tone of voice, "I didn't mean to sound so harsh… It's just- we're different people now… I've got myself to deal with, and jobs, so I don't have as much time for you guys…" Some of it was true.
"What-?" He says, still sounding like his vocal chords are going to explode, "So what you're telling me, is since you don't have any time for us, you want to blow us off completely??"
"That's not what I said!" I shriek defensively, "But I've got other things on my mind! My world doesn't revolve around the rest of you, you know!!"
"I didn't ask for that…" He protests, "I just wanted to know why you've been making excuses to get away from us."
"I just told you~!" I say with my frustrating building again, "It's not to get away from you- it's just that I've got jobs to dangle between and- then there's dad-"
His face still looks like he's about to break down and start crying as he shouts, "Is that it!? Goddamnit, Matt! You've got your life to live, you can't waste it all on your father~!"
I begin to retort something in reply but he interrupts me by mumbling, "It's not like he's got anything left… He sits in bed all day- I mean, what sort of life is that?? You're lying to yourself, Yamato, and you know it deep down, too. You're dad's going to die just like all the doctors say he will, and there's nothing you can do about it."
He just hit a nerve.
Well, more like- hit a nerve, tempted it for a while then tried to sever it to pieces.
I'm on him so fast that he barely knows what's happening, crushing him with my weight, holding the collar of his shirt in my hand and using the other fist to clench in front of his face. I can see him trembling in terror with this look on his face like a puppy whose about to be kicked. I doubt he's ever seen me this upset. Sure, we used to fight when we were kids, but that was different. And we both knew it.
"If you *EVER* say *ANYTHING* like that -again--…" I say in a bare whisper, "Or else you won't live long enough to tell any one else about it. Got it-Taichi--?" I flick a piece of his hair just to harass him, then listen as he begins stuttering a response.
"I'm-I'm sorry…" He pleads, "…I really am…I just-"
"Save it." I say, stopping him midway through, "I don't want to hear you're *fucking* excuses. Now- hurry up and get us to the hospital before you say something else that might end with you getting your sorry little *ass* kicked. Alright?"
He's silent, which was probably good for his sake. Personally, I wouldn't have minded trying to punch him, but then I wouldn't have any way of actually getting to the hospital. I repose back into my seat and redo up my seatbelt, then assume my position of staring outside at the people walking by.
Several minutes pass until I catch his voice again.
"Matt- I-"
"Didn't you hear me?" I snap ferociously, "I just told you to shut- the- hell- up. And I meant it, too. So, try doing yourself a favor and keep that big mouth of yours *closed*."
By now I didn't care if I was 'hurting ickle Tai's feelings'. He had crossed a line, and he should have been well aware of that before he said it. It was weird- usually when I fight him like that, he gets the upper hand easily, this time- it sure didn't work out that way… It was probably just because I was upset…What was he trying to do- screaming something like that!?! The little son of a bitch…
I turn around to check on dad and notice that he's sleeping. He looks so peaceful that way.
Hell, he looks peaceful doing pretty much anything now. He doesn't talk much. I don't mind though… Instead I do the talking for both of us. It's sometimes hard to tell if he's listening or not, but I think it makes us both feel better if one of us is saying *something*.
Don't worry, Dad, I know that you're all right. Yeah, the cigarettes have taken their toll, but other then that, he's okay… Just tired. There's nothing wrong with that. And with the amount of work that he used to get done at the office, that made sense. He just needed a vacation.
That's all it is. He's just taking a well-deserved break.
Pretty soon he'll be up again- just like before.
Soon enough we're at the hospital- but sure not fast enough. The rest of the car ride had been spent in a thick silence.
"Come on, Dad…" I say, pushing him gingerly in order to wake him up, "Time to get up; we're there already…" His mild black eyes blinked in confusion, but smile once they see the fake expression of tranquillity in my face. I help him out of the car, the whole time with Tai standing there gaping at me like an idiot. He kept trying to spit out apologizes, but I just kept on piercing his phrases once they were halfway done, and then attacking verbally once again.
"I-I'll come on…" He says slowly, still shook up from before. I instantly cast him a death glare and he cowers back a bit. "Or not…" He decides to just sit in the waiting room while dad gets treated again. I can never remember the name of the drug, but it's usually pretty fast. We go in- we spend a couple minutes- and then we leave.
Dad and I walk in first then trudge over the receptionist's desk where I announce that we have arrived, and she assured us that doctor Kido would be with us shortly. Yes- as you might've guessed, that's Jyou's father. To my surprise, I feel a quick tap on the shoulder and rapidly turn around to see that it's none other then the blue-haired guy, sporting glasses, himself. He smiles and stars rambling on and on about 'how nice it is to see us again', and that sort of bullshit. Of course, I don't believe a word of it but Jyou's a good guy so I don't hold it against him.
After noticing that I'm not the most talkative person in the room, he goes over and begins speaking to Tai, whose no doubt a lot warmer than I am. Pretty soon though, the doctor comes in drags dad away with him and a couple extra nurses. I'm not in the mood to try and make small talk with the others- *especially* not Tai- so I bury myself in a magazine instead and block out everything and everyone else in the room.
***
Me oh my, Matt came off as such a bitch there… :D eh well. Angst is angst!
And before we leave,
Remember kiddies!
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