Chapter 10 - To be in love
I love the way you
speak
And I love the way you swear
I love the way you walk around
with your head held in the air
I love the way your words move
And I love the way you drive
I love the way you're scared
of people scared to be alive
Stay - stay you that's the toughest
thing to do (x 2)
I love the way you dress upon
a Saturday night
I love the way you never speak
until it feels just right
I love the way you're spending
all your money on yourself
I love the way you answer the
phone and pretend you're somebody else
Stay - stay you that's the toughest
thing to do
And now I don't want to talk about
the things you overcame
By dragging up the past I'll
put you through it all again
I've got the greatest admiration
for the way that you got through it
Couldn't ask nobody else
to do it better than you do it
Stay - stay you .......
Eddie stared down at his hands, not
wanting face the reality that he had just told Lita to leave his locker-room.
Eddie brought his hands up to his face and rubbed them over his face as
he stifled out a groan, why had he pushed Lita away? The woman he had fallen
in love with had told him that she loved him back and he pushed her away,
he asked her to leave, to not love him.
*You were scared* Eddie's
inner voice echoed in Eddie's head.
He was scared. It was true, he was
scared, scared of opening his heart fully to Lita, because opening his
heart fully wasn't something that he ever did. He had never loved someone
with all his heart, well until he fell in love with Lita, somehow she had
forced her way into his heart without even knowing it. And damn it Eddie
was scared, he didn't like being vulnerable, and loving Lita was making
him vulnerable. He got scared so easily, he would get terrified for her
safety, he didn't want to see Lita in pain ... EVER. He so badly wanted
to make sure Lita was safe, safe from pain, safe from anything that could
ever possibly hurt her.
*You would never hurt her... you
would love her with everything in your body, you would love her forever.
Stop pushing her away, she told you she loved you, she's not lying, love
her Eddie... you know you want to. She's right you don't want her to walk
out on you, you want her to stay with you, forever. You want to open your
heart to love, you want to open your heart up to Lita.*
Eddie shook his head, not wanting
to listen to his inner voice, Eddie couldn't believe it. Lita was beautiful,
she was respectful, how could she ever fall for him? Why had he fallen
for her? Eddie knew that he just lost his friends in the Hardy Boyz, he
was all alone again, like usual.
Eddie was always alone. Sometimes
he would have people by his side, but in reality, he was always alone.
No one cared enough about him to actually consider him a real friend, but
for a while he had that in Jeff Hardy, and now that was probably gone.
No, Eddie knew that was gone. Eddie's heart had got in the way and it had
broken Matt Hardy's heart and Jeff would be enraged, Eddie knew that the
only friend he had in a long time, was gone.
"You messed up bad this time Eddie."
Eddie muttered to himself, as he pushed himself up and started pacing around
in the locker-room.
*You messed up real bad Eddie,
but you can reverse it, go to her.*
Eddie shook his head again. God now
not only was he lonely but he was having a argument with his inner voice,
he was officially nuts, insane, demented!
*But what's more demented... you
having an argument with me, your inner voice, or you letting the one person
you have ever loved with everything inside of you walk away?*
Eddie groaned, why did his damn inner
voice have to make so much sense?
"Shit." Eddie hissed out, he grabbed
his jacket and ran over to his door, he pulled it open and stumbled back
when he saw Lita raising her fist as if to knock on the door. "Lita."
Lita smiled nervously, she brought
her hand down. "Listen Eddie..."
Eddie took in a deep breath. *Do
it Eddie.* Eddie closed his eyes, letting his inner voice chime into
his head, which were jumbled with thoughts of Lita. "Lita..." Eddie grabbed
Lita's hand and interlocked his fingers with hers.
Lita stared at Eddie, her breath
caught up in her lungs, she had come to Eddie's locker-room to ask him
not to give up on them, the connection, the love they were obviously sharing,
but Eddie reaching out and grabbing her hand had been unexpected, the way
he interlocked his fingers with hers had not been planned out in her hand,
but just the touch of his skin against hers sent chills up her spine, the
good kind. "Eddie... I... "
Eddie closed the space between him
and Lita and pulled Lita to him, he now had his eyes open, he stared at
her face, taking in all of her beauty, letting it sink into his memory,
drinking it up. Eddie brought his free hand up underneath Lita's chin,
he tilted her chin slightly, he looked into her amazing eyes, he untangled
his other hand from her hand and cupped her face gently, he brought his
lips to hers, their lips brushing against each others gracefully, as if
some sort of a dance, some sort of beautiful dance.
Lita looked into Eddie's eyes once
they finally pulled apart, her heart was beating harder then it had ever
before, Lita let a smile crawl upon her rose colored lips, Eddie had kissed
her. The man who 30 minutes earlier had said it would never work out, had
said that he wasn't worth it, that he didn't want her to love him, had
kissed her, and with so much passion. "It's worth it Eddie." Lita said
quietly.
Eddie looked at Lita, he nodded slowly.
"It is. I love you, the minute I took that gore for you I knew I was already
too attached to ever walk away from you. You were telling me how I came
into your life unexpected, but Lita, the truth is that you walked into
my life unexpected. I don't fall in love, I don't ever open my heart to
someone, I never trust people... but I am opening my heart to you, because
it hurts more not to Lita. I know us, this love, is going to hurt people,
I don't want it to... but living without you would hurt me more then anything."
Lita smiled again, she walked into
the locker-room, shutting the door behind her, Lita pulled Eddie in for
a kiss, one where she returned the sign on love that he had given her.
Lita wanted Eddie to know how much she loved him, she wanted him to know
that she wanted him, that she wanted his heart, that she knew she made
the right choice. "I love you." Lita said once she pulled away from the
kiss.
Eddie closed his eyes, so this was
what love felt like. Eddie wrapped his arms around Lita, he let a smile
tug at his features when he felt her face bury into the crook of his neck.
*Love feels great* Eddie thought to himself as he held Lita. Her
warmth making him warm as well, he could feel her silky red hair resting
partially on his hands, he could feel Lita's warm breaths on his neck and
all Eddie could think about was that...
He never wanted this feeling to go
away.
Eddie knew he would fight anybody
and anything to keep this feeling, this woman within his arms forever,
he would sacrifice anything for Lita, for the way she made him feel, the
way his heart jumped whenever she spoke his name.
Eddie never ... NEVER ... wanted
to not be in love.