Author's Notes: I wrote this after getting suck and tired of all the "Post Gift" fics. Oh yeah and, as a result of not having cable, I have seen none of Angel season 2 or Buffy season 5, excluding both season finales. So if I get anything wrong I apologise.
Dedicated to Pippa. Love ya.
Oh No! Not *another* 'Post-Gift' fic!
"It's Buffy." whispered Angel.
"Nooooo....that's Willow. The lesbian witch? Buffy's the whiney one." Cordelia reminded her forgetful co-worker.
"Oh yeah." Angel brightened. "So what can I do ya for, Willow?" he asked astoundingly cheerfully, considering what his old character used to be like.
"Well Angel....Buffy's dead." Willow said solemnly. Angel gasped.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he screamed. He felt like his heart was being ripped in 4 halves (yes, I know, not possible) and his body was freezing. A hurricane of grief wrapped around him like a hurricane. He didn't exist. He grew angry at the world. Nothing was real any more. And other various cheesy clichés.
"What.....how.....who....when....where...." Angel stammered. "Why....which...-"
"You gonna finish that sentence some time this century?" Willow said impatiently.
"...What happened?! What DID THIS????!!!" Angel cried.
"She sacrificed herself, Angel. Dawn's blood had opened the portal and she jumped off the tower to save the world. She died saving the world." Willow said softly.
"What?" asked Angel.
"Oh yeah, I forgot you have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. I'll just give you a vague summary of the past season's events in two lines."
She then considered her past words.
"Hey, isn't it odd I seem to use this identical same explanation in every 'Post Gift' fic?"
"Oh my God, how could this have happened?!" moaned Angel. "I loved her! And now she's gone! Gone! GONE!!!! I'll never-"
"-Guys, isn't this about the time I say something blunt and insensitive and Angel yells at me?" Cordelia interrupted, fidgeting.
"WHAT? WHAT?! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT! BUFFY SUMMERS WAS THE GREATEST PERSON WHO EVER LIVED! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME WHO DIED INSTEAD!" Angel yelled.
"Gee, I never saw that one comin'" muttered Gunn.
"Oh my, like, God! Buffy is soooo, like, dead!" Cordelia cried. "Even though I treated her like sh*t up until this point, now that she's dead I will act like we were particularly close!" She ran from the room.
Then Gunn remembered his line.
"Guys...I may not have known Buffy very well, but I do know she fought evil and saved the world. She was an amazing person. I'll just leave you alone with your grief." Gunn was relieved to have gotten his compulsory speech over, and left.
Wesley spoke for the first time. "I'm going to use this point in time to bring up how I failed Buffy as her Watcher. I have no idea of the relevance, but it is a required part of a 'Post Gift' fic."
"There there, Wes." Angel comforted. "You did your best."
"BUT MY BEST WASN'T ENOUGH! I FAILED HER! I WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER! WAAAAHHHHHH!" Wesley ran from the room in tears.
That just left Willow and Angel.
"We had the service during the day. It's what Buffy would have wanted." Willow said sadly.
"What? Buffy wouldn't have wanted that! She'd want it during the night, when I, her first love, could attend. That's the most logical assumption. Honestly, fan fic writers have no friggin' idea of what Buffy would have wanted!" Angel yelled.
"I am pleased to inform you that Buffy's death has caused the Scooby gang to accept Spike into our group. Yes, despite us frequently voicing our complete and utter contempt for the guy, we are now going to let him be Dawn's legal guardian." Willow informed Angel.
"Spike?! The guy is a barely competent vampire, who looks upon all humans as nothing but food! Why the hell would you put a grief-stricken, inconsolable young teenage girl in his care?!"
Willow looked confused. "I'm not really sure why we did, the question of her father or Giles, or a relative of any sort looking after her just didn't occur to us at the time." she explained. Angel checked his watch.
"Shoot! I'm late!"
"For what?" Willow asked, confused again. What could possibly be more important than his true love's death?
"Oh, I'm supposed to run into Spike while visiting Buffy's grave. He's drunk and shouts at Buffy then I hit him for insulting her."
"Oh." Willow acknowledged this. "Well, have fun."
"Thanks. You have fun now while falling in love with Xander and sleeping with him. Make sure to tell Xander it was just a result of grief then five minutes later burst into tears and say you need him."
"I will. Bye!" Willow and the vampire went their separate ways, and therein to the next chapter.