Author's Notes: Ok, so I'm getting the impression that the 2nd chapter wasn't quite as popular as the first. That's alright. I can deal.
If 'dealing' translates into 'writing another chapter' ;-)
I promise not to write another chapter after this, unless people actually want me to.
Dedicated to Pippa and Hex.
Angel walked mournfully towards the grave of his first love. The journey had been very heavy on his heart. Well, that and the burrito he'd had for lunch.
Nearing the distance towards the grave - which of course he had found with his psychic abilities – Angel became aware of the sounds of sobbing, glass smashing, and cursing. Angel added all these factors and the conclusion came to him instantly. Someone had thrown a stone at a greenhouse, causing the occupant to curse and cry!
Angel set off at a running pace to catch the vandals responsible, but ran smack into his Grand-Childe, Spike.
"Spike! What the hell are you doing here?!" Angel snarled. Spike looked at him with bloodshot eyes. It looked like he had been crying. Which, as a vampire - hence no water intake - was impossible. But let's not quibble with details.
"What does it look like I'm doin', ya bleedin poof?!" Spike cried. "I'm mournin' my true love!"
"No, I am!" Angel responded. "She's my true love. I loved her first, nyeh nyeh!"
Spike began to sob. Angel awkwardly patted his back.
"Umm...there there. Got to, uh, move on and all that. Plenty more fishes...er, vampires in the.....graveyard." he attempted to comfort Spike. Then he realised what exactly he was doing.
"Wait a minute. You're Spike!" Spike rolled his eyes.
"Well observed, mate."
"But I hate you. We're deadly enemies! For that matter, so were you and Buffy!"
"Yet more startling revelations revealed by Nancy-hair-gel-boy. Now, where was I before I was so rudely interrupted. Oh yes. Ahem." Spike took an unnecessary breath. Almost as unnecessary as the word 'unnecessary' in the previous sentence. "WAAH OH MY GOD BUFFY'S DEAD!!! WAHH, YOU BITCH! YOU DIED! BITCH! I HATE YOU! DIE!" Spike viciously kicked the tombstone. "Ow! My bloody foot!" he muttered.
Angel swiftly threw Spike away from Buffy's grave.
"HOW DARE YOU?!! YOU DON'T EVEN DESERVE TO SHARE LIVING...UM, UNLIVING SPACE WITH THE GREAT ONE; BUFFY SUMMERS! YOU ARE LESS THAN NOTHING COMPARED TO HER!!!!" he screamed at Spike. At this point Spike had covered his ears.
"Jeez, you don't have to yell. Oh, and look! Now I've got saliva all over me. I want the news, not the weather!" He suddenly coughed. "Umm, what I meant to say was, 'I know, I know, but now she's dead and I miss her, etc. Yes, even though she treated me like sh*t despite me on numerous occasions saving her life, and the lives of her friends.'"
Angel grabbed the bottle Spike had half-smashed on Buffy's grave, and threw it at him.
"Get out of here, before I rip your head off and eat it!!" he roared. Spike began to leave, then turned.
"If you were to do that, wouldn't I instantly turn to dust, including my head?" Angel considered this for a second.
"Get out of here NOW!!"
Spike ran.
* * *
Meanwhile...
Xander and Willow lay in bed, after a long session of...use your imagination.
"Xander, we shouldn't have done that. That was wrong." Willow tried to make sense of the situation. Xander looked at her.
"You mean, that last time, or the 5 times before that....?"
"All of it!!" Willow snapped. Xander looked hurt.
"Didn't you enjoy it?" he asked, downcast.
"That's not the point." Willow said quickly. "We can't ever tell anyone about this. It would ruin our relationships, for the gang to know we just slept together, despite me being a lesbian and all, and us both having partners to help us through the grief."
Xander pulled on his shirt and began to leave. Just as he was at door, he heard Willow cry,
"Xander! Don't leave me! I can't be alone right now!" she began to sob. Xander sighed, and turned to go back.
"Gonna be a looong night." He muttered.
* * *
Angel arrived back at L.A to find Dawn sitting on his doorstep, looking utterly miserable.
"Dawn?" he asked softly. "What's wrong?"
Dawn looked up.
"What the hell do you think is wrong, re-runs of the goddamn Power Rangers?! My sister's dead!!"
"Oh yeah..." Angel muttered. "....
Simultaneously....
Pedestrians walking along a street on the other side of L.A. winced as the air filled with the screaming voice.
"YOU FORGOT?!!"
* * *
As all of this was going on, primal forces were gathering......for coffee.
"Ooh ducky," said Fate. "I hear that Summers girl croaked it." Fate accepted a cup of tea. "Thanks dearie."
"Nah!" Time argued, while crunching on a digestive biscuit. "These are delicious! Wherever did you get the recipe? Anyway, Summers is as tough as extremely-strong nails. She can't be dead."
"Actually, she is dead." said Death. "My legion recorded her moving in the other day. Frightful girl, really. She won't stop punching holes in the fragile clouds! Yummy, I just love these rock cakes!"
That's impossible!" interjected Destiny. "Her time isn't up yet!" Destiny, after setting down it's cup of coffee, aligned the stars, etc, and basically brought Buffy back to life. Destiny then relaxed back on the couch.
"Ahhh, I tell you, this couch does my back in something chronic."
* * *
Buffy groaned as she crawled out of her grave. She checked herself in her handy pocket mirror.
"Great, all this dirt and absence of air hasn't ruined my hair at all! And my complexion's looking a treat!" she glanced around. "Say, I wonder where the guys are?"
So...it's up to you, guys. I'm not trying to blackmail anyone into reviewing, I'm just saying I would like to know whether there is any point in me going on.