With early morning, the tavern was empty of patrons. The bargirls were all asleep, either in their own rooms or in the rented rooms of men who'd offered a coin or two for their company. The barkeep was drowsily sweeping away last night's debris from the floors while the minstrels loitered around the low burning fire. There were various twangs, plunks and jangles, as they entertained themselves with the tuning and cleaning of instruments. The lot of them looked up when Kall-Su and Lily descended from the upper level.
It was annoying, the blatant and unflinching stares directed their way.
All of them either openly curious, speculative or smirking with the sure knowledge of what the two of them had come from. One had to color with discomfort, not used to openly flaunting affairs. Not used to affairs at all, truth be told and most certainly not accustomed to the leering grins of common bards who thought they knew more than they did.
"About time." The red head rose from the table top he'd been perched on and sauntered forward, fearless and familiar in his stride and his expression. "Did you sleep well, love?" he grinned at Lily. Kall-Su thought about turning his insides to frozen lumps of flesh. Actually had the words of the spell tumbling about in his head when Lily squeezed his arm closer to her bosom and laughed back at the minstrel.
"Be nice, Dell, or he'll think bards are a mannerless lot."
The redhead -- this Dell person -- looked him full in the eye for the first time. There was some small portion of jealousy in his green gaze, and behind that just a touch of apprehension. Ah, so they did know who and what he was.
"No, we wouldn't want him to think that." There was something in the look that reminded Kall vaguely of Schneider. A reckless, fearless bravado even in the face of insurmountable odds. It did not particularly endear him, not with the attached sarcasm, but it did promote a kernel of respect.
"These are my friends." Lily said. "Dell. And that's Allun and Thizura and Crayl who leads this troupe." She indicated each in turn.
They nodded carefully at him, somewhat more cautious than Dell. He did not return the nod. He did not bother to introduce himself. He was not in the habit of mingling with bohemians traveling through his city. He was not in the habit of interacting at all with the common folk. Lily looked as if she were unsure of whether she should go about it herself. She looked up at him, at the frozen look that had come over his face and bit her lip. Some of her humor faded. She said in a quieter voice.
"You know who he is." Uncomfortable. He made her uncomfortable and he did not know whether he should be guilty for it, or offended. He felt increasingly ill at ease himself, not knowing her mind. He felt the tension in her body, pressed against his. Did she fear for the safety of her friends? Friends in who's company she obviously felt more comfort?
"We know." Crayl, who was thin faced and wise eyed nodded. Not friendly, not hostile, merely accepting. Not one of them called him My Lord, or offered obeisance. This was not the place for it. Not the circumstances.
He pulled his arm from hers, making a distance between them. She would not come back with him and he would not linger here a moment longer under their stares. He inclined his head at her, the mask back in place and repeated his offer.
"Think about what I asked. I've duties to attend." Which he did and none of which he intended to undertake. But it was an irrefutable excuse. He strode out without waiting for her to reply. Hit the street outside where it was easier to breath and the morning light made him blink and squint his eyes. No one close by. No one that would notice if he couldn't stand to cling to the ground any longer and summoned air elementals to buffer him skywards.
Straight up. Fast. Until the city was a child's model beneath him and he was alone enough to scream if he wanted to out of sheer frustration. But he didn't, for the frustration was tempered with such a feeling of euphoria that he could hardly bear it. He felt powerful. Wild energies gathered in transparent currents in the air about him, drawn by the exhilaration of his mood. He waved a hand at them, laughing, casting an offhanded snare and the elementals scattered, wary of being trapped. He didn't really want the service of any of them, having quite a few at his beck and call as it was, and these being of the small, relatively powerless sort. They were always drawn to power, they always lurked around the edges of workings, curious to the core. One ignored them mostly, or chased them away if they became a distraction. They did not usually get this close to him, rightfully fearful. He could only imagine the aura he must have been exuding for them to be so bold.
They came back, keeping a little more distance, still inquisitive. He felt the interest of an older one, drawn by the play of the younglings. This one pricked his interest, even past the giddiness. Cold and powerful and old as the mountains. One of the big ones that rarely showed themselves. One of the ones he might have gone to a great deal of trouble to subdue and force into servitude, if he'd been in the magic gathering mood. He wasn't. He was in the mood to think about Lily. To dredge his mind for all the instances she'd been around when he hadn't had the will to notice or had been pretending she didn't matter. She'd sang him so many songs that he only half remembered in the darkness of that place. Fought for him in that place when he'd given up fighting for himself.
The ice elemental ventured closer, intrigued by the flavor of his power and his disinterest in it. Very old. Incomprehensibly powerful. It swirled around him and the little ones flocked to it like moths to a great, frozen light. The mage part of him couldn't ignore it any longer. He reached out a tendril of inquisitive power to gauge it and it recoiled, skittish and obviously ignorant of human magic.
Don't pry then, if you do not wish to be investigated in turn. He told it and it swept away at the sending, startled. Some elementals engaged in conversation. Some had no more inkling of corporeal thought than the running water of a stream.
The winds had taken him out from the city. It was nothing more than a small black spot in the distance. She was right. They probably were wondering where he was about now. He ought to get back, if only to avoid explaining where he'd been. Back towards the city then, but not before he noticed with nothing more than passing interest the thin line of a caravan traveling across the plains from the southern mountains. One more group of merchants to fill the markets with goods from the south. It might be a profitable season after all, even with the upset caused by the Prophet's machinations.
Lily sighed, clasped her arms about herself and forced her eyes to move from the door Kall-Su had walked through. Think about the offer? It was all she could think about. That and last night. And her incredible good fortune and the miserable dilemma that she still had no answer to.
"What did he ask?" Crayl idly adjusted the taughtness of a lute string. "For you to return to the castle with him?"
She blinked at him in surprise. He was too observant by far.
"Will you?" he asked when she didn't answer.
"I don't know." She finally said.
"More the fool you." Thizura said and added emphatically. "Gods, he actually looks better in the light of day than under cover of night. I'm in love."
"You fall in love twice a week at least." Allun said calmly, rubbing oil into the melon shaped belly of his lute. "And out of it as quickly. And even if he weren't out of your league and had a taste for boys, which he obviously doesn't -- I believe his heart lies elsewhere." Allun smiled at Lily, who felt a blush rising at the talk of hearts. Mere sex was not as fearful a ground to tread with her as that of love.
"He doesn't like our Dell. Jealous." Allun added.
"You don't have to be jealous not to like Dell." Thizura shot back. Dell glared good naturedly at the both of them.
"Please." Lily said. "I really, really wish you'd stop bantering about this."
"Then you shouldn't have taken him upstairs for a private dance." Dell said, with a little more malice. "Does he live up to his name? Are you frostbit from the cold?"
"Dell!" There was a tone of admonishment to Crayl's usually soft voice. "Let her be. It's no small matter."
No small matter. Oh, what a dreadfully massive understatement that was. All her life, she'd never had decisions to make that would impact her existence. They'd all been made for her. No choice. No freedom. And now everything she might ever have wanted was offered her and she was forced to choose between her lifelong dream of becoming a true minstrel and the very new and painfully vital pull of --- what? Lust? Love? A connection of some sort that pulled at her heart and deeper, that alternately hurt her and elated her. There was no having one without loosing the other. No small matter, indeed.
Kall-Su landed on the tower roof. He hadn't been up here since his attempt at suicide. It made him uneasy, recalling that state of mind. He had to magic open the door to gain access to the stairs. Back to his chambers with no one the wiser. It still was relatively early. He changed clothes, getting rid of rumpled plain garb and donning more elegant garments. Keitlan was coming down the hall when he stepped out with a tray in her hands and a thoughtful expression on her broad face. "My lord." She was surprised to see him about. "You won't take breakfast in your chambers?"
"No. Not today."
She blinked at him. He was breaking habits and she did not know how to deal with the deviation from order. He walked past her, leaving her standing there with the tray in her hands, staring at his back. Down to the hall where breakfast was always laid out on a table by the hearth for armsmen, servants and guests alike to partake of. Gara and Arshes were down there, sitting side by side, talking low voiced to each other. Half a dozen guards were hastily filling plates and wolfing down poached eggs, thick slabs of ham and fresh bread before heading to duty. Yoko was, but not Schneider. She smiled at him, but there was a bit of exhaustion behind her eyes, as if she'd had a sleepless night.
"Don't usually see you this early." She stated the obvious. "You look better than you did yesterday. You okay?"
"Yes. Is Schneider?"
"His head still hurts, but its getting better. I think it'll take a few days to go away. Its probably a ghost injury anyway, since he can't magic it away. Goddess, you don't know how nasty a wound that was, Kall. I really thought he was dead."
"So did I." He admitted. Which was why he'd overreacted with the spell. Which was why there were innocent people dead. He sighed, having managed to avoid thinking about that so far this morning. He could not recall exactly what he'd ordered done about it. Recompense, he thought. But, truly, it deserved something else. He was at a loss what that something might be, not in the habit of begging pardon for his actions. Perhaps Yoko might be of help. She was terribly good at getting to the root of people oriented problems.
"I do not know exactly what to do about the --- man who lost his family." He said carefully. He took a cup of strong, hot coffee, but declined food, not in the mood for it with this problem back on his mind. She looked up at him, large eyed and sympathetic.
"That poor man. I heard what happened yesterday at the gates. I understand why you looked so spooked when we saw you. It was grief speaking. You know that, right?"
She sounded like Lily. He followed her to the table where Gara and Arshes sat.
"Perhaps." He grudgingly admitted. "Still, it shouldn't have happened. I was remiss. I was sloppy."
"You had two arrows sticking out of you." Gara mumbled between mouthfuls of ham and eggs. "Things happen."
"Its not a war." Kall said, remembering all too many times when a mere two innocent casualties would have meant nothing. Not a speck in the mountains of bodies that had piled up during the wars.
"It is if the bandits make it one." Arshes said. "They declared it the moment they aimed at you and Darshe."
"Not in this city." He said firmly. "I will not have it in this city. When I came back here after --- Ansasla -- I promised these people my protection. Now they spread worse rumors about me than they do about the bandits. Those assassins killed none of the people of Sta-Veron."
"All right." Yoko interjected. "That's understood. No one wants violence in the streets. What we do want is the people to understand it was an accident. That you're as horrified by it as they are. Giving the widower gold will just seem like you're buying him off. What you need is a show that you're not the ice cold wizard up in his castle that doesn't give a damn."
He looked at her silently. She had that look in her eyes that said she was brainstorming. Her nails tapped a rhythmic little beat on the tabletop.
"Offer to hold memorial services here." She said, brightening.
"What?" He blinked at her.
"What greater honor for the family of a common merchant? We get Father Cittaro down here to perform the rites. Let all the merchant's relatives and friends attend and you be there so everybody can see that you mourn too."
"But --"
She waved away his objection, eyes alight with the fervor of her own creation. "You bedazzle them with how generous you are. Word spreads and all the bad talk turns good."
"Its not half bad." Gara said, finishing off the last of his breakfast and sitting back with a look of contentment on his face. Yoko beamed at him. "Its perfect. Its just a matter of making arrangements. Someone official looking. If you had a steward that would do it. You don't have nearly enough staff for running a castle, you know. Maybe Arshes Nei and I would be impressive enough to make the offer seem heartfelt."
"I do regret it." He said sourly. "You do not have to make it seem as if it is all some great charade. I just have no great desire to make a temple out of this hall."
"Not for long." She patted his hand in a motherly fashion, as if he were being intractable and she felt the need to coax him out of it. He looked at her narrowly and pulled his hand out from under hers.
"Do what you will. I leave it in your hands."
He left her, not wanting to find himself trapped talking about funeral rites in his own hall. Not comfortable with that notion at all. He took himself back upstairs to his study and worried at the notion of townsfolk crowding his hall. Resentful, accusing townsfolk, to whom he was supposed to look rightfully apologetic. He could not do that and maintain the shield. And if he could not maintain the aura of ice then he couldn't protect himself against the stigma of their judgment. If the ice was thick enough, it didn't matter what anyone thought.
I hate this. He rested his head in his hand and stared sightlessly at the grainy pattern of the desktop. I wish Lily would come here with me. But nothing was ever so simple or easy.
"What in hell did you let Yoko talk you into?"
He blinked, startled and straightened. He had no notion how long he'd been sitting there, day dreaming. Schneider stood in the doorway, disheveled looking, a vaguely annoyed expression on his face. It might have been the headache.
"The funeral rites?"
"Stupid idea."
"It makes sense." Kall sighed, forced into the position of having to defend a plan that he was in no wise comfortable with himself.
"You start making this grand a gesture and they'll expect it of you for every little thing."
"No. This wasn't a little thing. I can't let it be a little thing anymore. It's not the same as it was."
Schneider stared at him, then sniffed and plopped gracelessly down into the chair facing the desk. "You've gotten so conscionable, Kall. Such a good little liege lord."
"Are you trying to be discourteous or is the ill-temper from the head ache Yoko says you still have?"
One dark brow arched at that. A long fingered hand fluttered up to massage one temple. "A little of both, maybe." Grudging admittal.
"I'm sorry." Kall-Su said. "I'm sorry for your pain. It's my fault they were left to make mischief in the city at all."
"God, don't presume to carry guilt because you couldn't protect me." It was sullenly said. Schneider was feeling most definitely surly. Kall's head was beginning to hurt. He wasn't surprised Schneider had no liking for Yoko's proposed expression of sorrow. Schneider very seldom admitted to misdeeds of any kind. Much less actively repented them. He wondered what Schneider would think of his other problem. Gods, he wanted to talk to somebody and there were so few people that he trusted with the baring of his soul. Two now, if he counted Lily. Oh, and he wanted to. He wanted to loose himself in her, but was so dreadfully afraid she would repel him. That she might turn on him and pierce him to the core. Besides, she was the problem, not the solution in this case.
But, Schneider on the subject of women was highly predictable. Schneider was not tactful in the least sense. Schneider trumpeted his conquests for the world to see. Kall was not so willing to have his own affairs made light of. He went back to the other issue instead.
"A gesture needs to be made. I wasn't in control when I cast that spell. I didn't think where I was or who might be caught in the backlash, I just reacted. How many years did you spend trying to teach me to avoid that? Lately things just seem to be slipping. I can't seem to focus and I despise it. I hate not being fully in control. I'd rather not have the power."
Schneider stared at him for a long, deliberative moment, the sarcasm and the irritation gone. "Then you have to get it back." He said finally. "I've told you what I think already. That you need to get away from here, but you're too stubborn to take my advice. Which probably also means you're too stubborn to let me help, even if you consciously wanted to. You're not as malleable as you were when you were eighteen."
Young minds were easy to mold. And Schneider had managed to take a boy with terrible emotional scarring and mold him into an articulate and powerful wizard.
"I know." Kall-Su sighed. "I still wonder if everything wouldn't be easier sometimes without the stigma of having to control this magic. What was it like, when you were without it? With those rune bracelets?"
"Hateful." Schneider drew in a hissing breath. "There is nothing about not having magic that I find attractive. You think life would be easier without it? Maybe you're right if you're content to be a farmer or a fat merchant, or a foot soldier in some army. I would have gone mad if I'd been without it much longer. I don't care who you are, are how virtuous you think you've become, once you've tasted power, you can't let it go. And the first time something you love is threatened and you can't defend it -- you can't imagine how it feels." For a moment, his eyes were clouded with too vivid recollection, then he shook his head and a spark of wryness came back.
"You're getting maudlin, Kall. A funeral in house is a wonderful idea, now that I think of it. It fits your mood perfectly." He stretched his legs out, leaning his head back against the back of the chair. "Well, now that you've got Yoko occupied, I've nothing to do to entertain myself. I'd go hunting bandits if they were close enough to reach in a reasonable amount of time. I wish one of you had left a live one for me. I happen to like a little bloody vengeance and I don't feel guilty about it afterwards."
"I don't feel guilty about that." Kall said. "And you're welcome to chase down any bandits you want. I don't feel inclined to leniency with them anymore. I would love to set you on them -- but you're right, they're not likely to be easy to find now."
"They'll show eventually." A slight smile touched Schneider's lips. "In the meantime, I need something to chase away the idea that my head ought to be hurting. I hate ghost wounds. I need a distraction. Care for a game of Pirates and Kings?"
Kall almost laughed, it was such an innocuous suggestion in the midst of all his other troubles. It was one of the few games he had ever taken the time for, being a puzzle of strategy rather than mere lazy recreation. Schneider had taught it to him. One of the few things he and Schneider had shared between themselves when he was growing up that Arshes had not been a part of. She had never had the patience for it. She hated loosing to Kall-Su and she always did, so she'd stopped playing.
"You're the pirate, of course." He rose to get the board. Schneider was always the pirate. It fit him so much better than the guise of the king.
"Of course. Prepare to have your kingdom sacked."
Schneider generally had won. Four out of five was the age old ratio, but it had been a long time since they'd played. A very long time. Things change.