"Shall I turn the lights off...?", she asked, as he sat on the sofa.
He shrugged, silently praying for her to do so.
"It's up to you..."
A sound coming from her informed him that she had chosen to turn them
off, just before seeing his world go black. Ecstatic, he rested back on
the sofa, holding his pop-corn bowl. Life was just perfect!
He heard Pan's soft steps heading towards the sofa he was sitting on,
through total obscurity, and trembled in anticipation of her presence.
Looking around, waiting for the smallest sign of her closeness, he happily
greeted the shade. There was a reason for him to prefer lights off, although
it was a not very mature one: he just loved having her in the darkness,
by his side. Obscurity added even more magic to the situation and showed
up her attractive as well. It was something about the way in which her
figure was shown from time to time because of a casual movement or a capricious
reflection, or they way her face looked in the darkness, but he result
was always the same: in the darkness, when she was oblivious to his gaze,
he would find himself unable to stop staring at her, finding his eyes glued
to every move she made.
He felt a pressure grow next to him on the couch as she sat down, a
few centimetres away from him, enough nevertheless to avoid any physical
contact.
"Here...!", she exclaimed as she made herself more comfortable.
"Now... let the fun begin!"
He chuckled almost imperceptibly, with an evil grin that he couldn't
help in his face. Of all the kind of fun that they knew, he could only
think of one very particular, in the darkness, on a sofa.
Of course, as she proved herself with the remote control on hand, she
was thinking of turning the tape on. Smiling, he took some pop-corn and
looked at her through the shadow. Her face, lightened now thanks to the
TV screen, was showing a concentrated Pan, looking at something on her
lap. Her hair, that she had let loose, was partially hiding her face as
she was leaning, while her eyes, looking down, reflected the blue screen
with renewed intensity. Definitely, although not being able to describe
what was it that made her so irresistible in the darkness, there was something
about it that hypnotised him. Longing for her contact, he felt the urge
of touching her cheek, caressing her soft skin just to know if she was
for real.
He often wondered how it was possible that a girl like her existed.
In fact, he did not doubt of the coherence of her existence, that was not
the object of his wondering, but how it could be possible that a girl like
her was wasting her time that way with him.
The truth to be told, he felt he was not worthy of her. As she had
told him a few times, it was nothing but a little inferiority complex that
nearly every lover suffered. The object of their admiration is always perfect
to them, they hardly ever see any defect on them, although the deficiencies
could be numerous. Of course, when she spoke those words they were just
talking about general love, as they used to do sometimes, without any implications
neither from her side or from his.
However, he couldn't help but feeling rather undeserving of her. She
was much younger than him, his best friend since she was not much more
than a kid, his worker and almost a family member. Leaving apart her personals
merits, that were not scarce, only because of having fallen in love with
her he felt that he was betraying her confidence. Besides, being such a
mess either at work and home, having all those girls after him, pursuing
him as a cinema star and being always somehow able to make him look like
a fool... No, the truth was that he could never consider himself worthy
of her time.
That was the most probable reason because he needed to touch her that
often, feel her hand against his in a graze that could look as completely
casual, see in a physical way that she existed and was there with him.
As the screen called for their attention with a growing music, announcing
the proximity of the start of the film, he slowly moved his eyes from her
to the television and back to her. She noticed the movement in the corner
of her eye and looked at him too, with a smile.
"Pretty...!", she exclaimed, making him thank the shade as he blushed
a deep crimson.
"You are pretty indeed, Panny!" he answered with a huge grin. "The
most wonderful woman ever!"
She chuckled very lightly and he felt a warm wave passing through him
as her hand grabbed his, touching it gently, with fondness.
"You should go out more often, darling...", she stated matter-of-factly.
"You're losing the little criteria you had gained through the years!"
He shook his head no and looked at her intensely.
"In a few years with you I've learned more about what perfection means
than in all my previous life", he said, straight from his heart, making
her laugh at his passion. Nevertheless, the pressure in his hand, that
she had intensified right after his comment, was enough to tell him that
her feelings were much closer to the pleasure than to the laughter, what
made him smile very satisfied.
"See...?", she started, but he recognised instantly the faked resolution
in her voice replacing her emotions. "You need to meet more people...!
I'm afraid I'm making you lose your impartiality...!"
He shrugged and looked at the television for a second before answering
her, while his mind weighed up the possible choices for an answer and the
results that each of them could lead them into.
"What should I need impartiality for...?", he asked, opting for the
easiest way to answer her question remembering the golden rule for press
interviews: difficult questions are answered with other questions.
She knew the trick too, he realised as soon as she opened her mouth
to answer him.
"Excuse me, Mr. Briefs! You know, I could have imagined an answer of
the sort...! Always taking the easy way out...! Well, perhaps you'll need
impartiality to judge people as they deserve!"
"Hey! I do...!", he hurried to protest.
She looked at him questioningly and resumed watching the ads on the
screen.
"Pan...", he tried after a short silence.
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean..."
She nodded.
"I know. Look... the film's about to start..."
He looked at the screen and sighed.
"I do not always take the easy way out..."
She assented, letting go her grip on his hand to substitute it with
a caress.
"No. Just when coming to important things. The rest, you like to make
it a bit too difficult!"
He looked at her again, slightly peeved.
"You think so...?"
She nodded.
"Sometimes."
"Like...?", he asked, intrigued.
"Like that with still living at your parents'... Taking into account
that living with your parents includes sharing your roof with both your
sister and brother-in-law, I can't deny that I'm very surprised to see
that you're not desperately looking for lodging...!"
He chuckled and touched her hand lovingly in response, shrugging off
the little annoyance that her previous words had caused.
"I will move", he answered. "I'm dying to. But... I just haven't found
the right place yet."
One last time, she looked at him, this time with a mischievous brightness,
before focusing on the film, the first chords of the soundtrack of which
were starting to invade the air they shared, getting their attention momentarily
and making them forget about their conversation.
As usual, their silence only lasted for a few minutes, before they
started commenting the movie, characters and situations that most of the
time were a bit too out of a real scenery to be accepted by the couple
without further commentary. It might be not too respectful for the staff
of the film, but it was certainly very constructive for both of them, as
well as the best way they knew of for enjoying it. Only a few films had
ever got to keep them silent out of interest, and this had all the numbers
for not to enter that group.
As difficult as it was for them to remain silent, or even more, was
for Trunks to keep his hands out of her. Sitting by her side, with the
pop-corn bowl they were both eating from on his lap, he had to gather all
his strength several times for not to touch her any possible way. He had
never realised before of the width and length of that sofa. It was huge!
They were both comfortably sitting, with their feet on the cushions, half
laying. If the sofa had been normal-sized they should be either touching
each other, shoulder against shoulder, or not so comfortably resting. Nevertheless,
Pan was what he considered kilometres away from him, and their only contact
were their hands. Therefore, the sofa was way too big! In their house,
they'd have a very tiny sofa, just enough for them both to be comfortable,
but no wasted room! They would have to hold each other very closely to
have space enough! Hmmh!
He couldn't help but smiling very softly at his childish thought, though
it was enough to make her turn to him, her eyes attracted by the movement.
Smiling wider, he made her assume that it was because of the television,
getting her to focus on it again after getting another smile from her lips.
Still considering the dimensions of the sofa, that doubled what his
selfish lover's mind considered optimal, he wondered what he could do to
get to embrace her without it being too evident. He had watched too much
television to ignore some of the most used tactics, but all of them were
unworthy of the queen that was sitting by him, sporadically eating handfuls
of pop-corn and whispering observations about what they were watching.
No, passing an arm around her shoulder with any made out excuse would be
like betraying her confidence, nearly an insult for her perfection. He
could use no justification, since there wasn't one valid, and simply holding
her was something that he could not physically do because of the pop-corn
bowl on his lap. He had to resign, therefore, to spend the night without
touching her, what rarely happened on their nights out. In the cinema or
the theatre he would hold her hand as soon as the lights turned off, or
even sooner if he dared, and afterwards, walking together, he would offer
his hand, that she'd surely accept...
Frustrated, he sighed and rested his head backwards, only to feel an
uncomfortable form against his neck that he didn't recognise, not being
a part of the couch he was lying on, until the last part of it caressed
her cheek with silky fingertips.
Pan...? Pan's hand... was... nearly around his shoulder...? Had she
really put it on the cushion just some centimetres over his shoulders and
the base of his neck...?
He suspired satisfied, feeling peace return to his mind, and inclined
his head closer to her, making her arm move down until the fabric of her
sleeve was against the base of his neck. More comfortable, he closed his
eyes, oblivious to the film, focused only on enjoying the feeling of her
silken fingers against his cheek until she made him come back to reality
with a soft giggle, immediately followed by a kiss on his cheek, on the
edge of his lips.
"I wonder why you accepted coming to watch the film...", whispered
she after a short pause.
He opened his eyes and smiled, trying to appear calmed although he
was trembling because of her closeness and her breath on his cheek.
"You should have known that the last thing I would mind would be what
we were going to do..."
She sighed and embraced him, resting her chin on his forehead, what
made him rest his head on her chest.
"I guess I should... But I thought you'd like to watch that movie..."
He shrugged and held her closer by embracing her with the only free
hand that he was left.
"I would... if you weren't here..."
"It's like losing our time...", she cut him in, thinking aloud and
expressing perfectly both their feelings on that matter. "Shall I turn
it off, then...?"
"Yeah...", he nodded. "I just want to be like this for a while..."
The next he noticed was the sudden silence coming from the television,
just before his eyes were blinded by the unexpected light of the auxiliary
lamp beside the sofa that Pan had turned on.
"Just like this...", she sighed, embracing him again, hiding his face
on her neck. "It'll be a pleasure!"
He agreed with a happy sound, relaxing against her shoulder.
"Don't you hate me...? You've prepared everything and I just ruin it...!"
"No...!", she exclaimed, convinced. "You aren't ruining anything!"
"But...", he objected, "I've crushed your plans..."
"Nah!", she cut him off. "They were nothing to be sorry for! Besides,
we can always watch this film some other day... I only intended to spend
this evening with you, that's all. What does it care what we do...?"
He had to assent with her. Their occupation was the less important
of the soirée, since it didn't affect too much their happiness.
Therefore, although feeling sorry for having sundered a night she had planned,
seeing that he was the one who usually planned it and she had never complained,
he had to acquiesce with her about the lack of importance of their entertainment.
"I'm sorry...", she added after a pretty long silence. "It wasn't a
good idea... We should have gone out... But I was rather in a hurry...
you seemed to have forgotten about me, and I wanted to make the first step
for once before one of those companions of yours got a bead on you...!
However, there was no special place I wanted to go to... so..."
He shook his head.
"No...! Don't worry, it's been one of the best nights I've ever spent!
And I love being here... I love your house, I love being your guest...
I envy you, Panny...! This is all so nice! Thanks a lot for inviting me.
Really. I love it here."
She shrugged it off and kissed the top of his head.
"My pleasure!"
No, he thought, naughtily, kissing the soft skin of her shoulder and
feeling her firm grasp around him. His pleasure. Really!
