It's been years since I've been to this spot. Too many years have passed since I spent time with my friend. There is a part of me that hopes his spirit is near. At times I've thought I heard his voice, guiding me gently yet firmly. But he's never been there. By my side. He could never be here.
His body rests here. At least we made it back before he finally gave in. I don't think the fearless Captain could have got through seeing his body sent into the depths of space. Yet for all that I'm glad its here, I've not made a habit out of spending time here.
It's a beautiful spot. High on a hill, overlooking a valley, under the shade of a weeping willow tree. Tom carved the stone. Whoever would have thought Tom had it in him to do something like that. "Even the eagle must know when to rest," it says. I guess my dear friend had said that to B'Elanna once or twice, which is how it must have ended up as the inscription. And it is a beautiful spot for eagles. Here he can rest, and here he can launch off and soar high above the valley.
So why am I here? I don't know. I suspect he'd know, if he'd care to tell me. But I have an idea forming in my head. Too much time has passed; too many mistakes have been made. We did get home, the Maquis were cleared, and I made Admiral. But my best friend died. And I watched him wither away, grieving for his wife. I could comfort but I could not bring her back.
And then he got angry with me. Said it was my fault and in some strange way he was right. If I had acknowledged how I felt then maybe, just maybe, Seven might still be alive. For if I had told him the truth he would not have married her, and then he would not have sent her on the mission. I remembered then, he had sent her on the mission because he was desperate not to show favouritism. It had been a dangerous mission, a high risk involved, one he could have pulled her back from going on because she was his wife. It is a warped way of looking at things, extremely twisted. But it was the last time that we ever spoke to each other.
He died one week after that argument we had.
I think I know what I am going to do. Admiral Janeway is going to right this mess that Captain Janeway created. Although I would love to be able to get the Captain to change her mind regarding the protocols she hid behind, I suspect it will be easier to convince Chakotay not to send Seven on that away mission.
Then again… what if I could stop the wedding and the mission. What if I could use the knowledge I have now to get Voyager home quicker?