Even though I once told Ensign Kim that weird was part of the job there are still days I wonder just what the hell is going on around me. My first officer is absolutely no help. He's looking like its his lucky day. He now has two of me in front of him.
She scares me though, the Admiral. Is this who I'm going to be when I get older? Absolutely driven while managing to be totally bitter at the same time. This is the very same person I once told Chakotay I did not want to be. He was to hold me to that. Obviously we both failed.
She won't say what is going on, but instead has taken protocol to its full limit making herself the leader. Even I must delegate to her. Which makes me fairly uneasy. She is me, and yet she is someone completely different to me. For one thing, it is apparent that she wants to do whatever it is alone and she appears to have had no input from anyone else on whatever her plan is. There has been no mention of discussing a plan with either Chakotay or Tuvok and I fear something must have happened to them in her timeline.
And that makes me worry. Chakotay and I might have had our differences in the past but he has always been there. As he once said, I might be the Captain but he is the first officer and it is his job to support me even if he does not agree with me. What has happened to him? It is clear that in this timeline we got home but at what cost? Did we lose our crewmates who were former members of the Maquis? Or were some of the crew killed in the attempt to get home? She will not tell me.
In fact she has said little. She arrived through an anomaly and began barking orders the very moment we made contact with her. She has said something about Klingons and Borg and I have had to make every effort to make sure neither B'Elanna or Seven have been in her hearing when she has made derogatory remarks about both. However, she does regard both women with some fondness, seems to adore B'Elanna's daughter and appears sad when she talks with Seven.
I just wish I knew what was going on. What is going on in her mind?