Title: The Long And Winding Road
Author: Rob - fatabbot@btinternet.com
Archive: Not without permission please
Category: Carter/Abby
Rating: PG-13 for a bit of bad language and nasty thoughts
Spoilers: All of season 7
Author's notes: This is the final part of my fic. I left the thankyou's till the end but I would just like to add that I've enjoyed writing this immensely. So I hope you've enjoyed reading it.
Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are not owned by myself. I'm just borrowing them, and promise to give them back. Also, any lyrics used in this story to head a scene were not written by myself. Again I am just borrowing them and giving them back untainted. There is a summary of the songs used at the end of this chapter.
Summary: Carter goes into a downward spiral, causing Abby to rethink an important decision she's made.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 4 - Dead Flowers
Carter sat on his bed half-listening to what Dave was saying to him. It had been three weeks since he woke up in a hospital room unsure of what he was doing there and why. Two weeks since he was released and told to have a few weeks rest before his condition was evaluated by a psychologist. He had been sitting in his bedroom for two weeks bored out of his mind. Virtually everyone had come to see him, offering encouragement, baskets of fruit and the occasional bundle of flowers. Dave, being the thoughtful soul he was, taped the big game for him. Not that he was that bothered about it. He tried to act excited as Dave whooped and cheered sitting next to the bed.
"Wow man! Did you see that!" Dave turned to face him.
Carter nodded and smiled "I know."
Dave looked up at the clock hanging from the wall. His eyes widened, "oh shit! I'm late. Weaver's gonna kill me!!" He jumped out of his chair. "Is it ok if I leave you to watch the rest on your own."
Carter nodded again, "sure," he hesitated a little before adding, "just tell Weaver that you were with me."
Dave smirked and said, "Yeah but I doubt she'll believe me." Dave looked around the room, "Are you ok man? Anything you want me to get you?"
"No no I'm fine. Just get to work."
"Take it easy buddy." Dave said as he walked out. Carter smiled again. Everyone was being really considerate. He stopped to remember all of his visitors. Deb came over with flowers and a supportive smile. Kerry stopped over. Mark and Elizabeth brought their new baby to see him. The nurses sent him a fruit basket with a card saying, "everyone here knows you'll be fine. With all our best wishes..." Heck even Luka had phoned him.
And Abby... Well there had been no Abby. No phone calls, no get-well-soon card, nothing. Why? Part of the reason that he had made such a quick recovery was that he felt so happy after she had told him that she loved him. Why hadn't she visited if she loved him? Was it the other type of love? Did she still view him as a girlfriend? He quickly stopped, not wanting to go down that road of self-deprecation and loathing again. It was a road he knew all too well. He could drive down it with his eyes closed. Not today. Not ever again.
Sleep was the answer. Sleep was the answer to everything. Whenever he wondered what Abby could be doing besides calling or even visiting him he would just shut his eyes and go to sleep. Everyone who came to see him had always told him to get some rest. It drove him nuts but they were right. He closed his eyes and wrapped himself in his blanket. He could feel sweat dripping down his back slowly, but he ignored it. Just get to sleep.
"Where are you now? When I need you."
****
"It wears her out. It wears her out."
She sat in the lounge with both hands clasped around a precious cup of coffee. It hadn't been a particularly difficult shift but she had never felt so tired. Taking a sip she closed her eyes and immediately thought of Carter. Slowly the image cleared; he was being taken into another room for a final check up before they discharged him. He was smiling at her and she was smiling back at him. Just was they were walking through the doors he shouted out, "I love you Abby!" She felt herself smile but inside she could feel waves of fear shooting through her body. To hear him say it, so sincerely and truthfully scared her to death. He really did love her...
And what of Luka? They had hardly spoken since they had their big fight but she still didn't know whether the relationship was over or not. It was as far as she was concerned but she didn't know if Luka thought the same thing. Did he think they were on a break or something? She shook herself out of her daze...
Coffee. More coffee.
"Hey Abby," Dave said as he jumped through the doors. No doubt escaping the wrath of Weaver. Abby shot him a glare over the top of her mug. "Woh!" Dave said, holding up his hands in defence, "what did I do?"
Abby sipped her coffee, "nothing," she said sarcastically. She hesitated... "How's Carter?"
"Oh Carter he's erm... doing great," Dave replied. He hesitated, something else was coming, "He misses you you know."
She almost choked on her coffee, "what?"
"I can tell. He didn't say it but I can tell. He wants you to go see him."
Abby was on defence, "what makes you think he wants to see me?"
Dave smiled, "c'mon Abby I'm not stupid," he heard her laugh, "I know how close you two are." Abby felt her cheeks turn a shade of pink. He looked at her seriously, "go and see him." Abby nodded and he walked out. Leaving her to return to her mug.
****
"There's a shadow on the path. Till I know... If your love is real."
He lay in bed trying to think about anything but her. The sleep he had was brief and unfulfilling, and now it was back to staring at his dull grey ceiling. She did say that she loved him right? Was it just a dream? If it was it was a pretty realistic dream. She held his hand, stroked his cheek, kissed his head and told him she loved him... Right?
His thoughts were killed by three loud raps on the door.
Carter got up slowly, wrapped his blanket around his shoulders, and slowly walked towards the door. Leaning in close he said softly, "who is it?"
"I have a special delivery here for a Mr. John T. Carter."
Puzzled, he opened the door to see a short, chubby, balding man holding a white box that had its lid taped down. After signing where he was supposed to he ripped the box open. He felt a tear come to his eye as he looked at its contents.
"Are you ok buddy?"
"Erm... yeah," Carter said as he removed the gift from the box. He smiled, "yeah I'm fine."
****
As he stepped out of the shower he heard a distant sound sneaking through the crack in his bathroom door. It was late, and he was just about ready to turn in. Pulling on some old, worn-out clothes he walked through into his kitchen and grabbed a bottle of milk from his refrigerator. Drinking it slowly he heard the sound again.
Turning around trying to find the source of the noise he saw nothing but an empty room filled with various shadows. The moonlight poked through the window and made images all around the room. Nothing again. He frowned, what the hell was that?
Again.
Slowly Carter looked over at the door and heard it again. A faint knocking that was only just noticeable. Carter walked slowly towards the source and wondered who could possibly be calling this late at night. Another barely audible rap on the door. It sounded like a child's knock, someone who had to stand on their tiptoes to reach the knocker.
Reaching the door he leaned in close and spoke softly, "who is it."
A small voice on the other side of the door replied, "it's me."
Carter slowly took the chain off its hook and opened the door to see Abby standing before him. She was wearing her leather jacket and had it wrapped around her chest, with her arms folded across herself for extra comfort. Carter knew that this told him she was feeling vulnerable. Without saying a word he stepped aside giving her enough room to walk through into his apartment. He watched her slowly walk into the middle of the room and stop, not turning to face him, almost captivated by the window and the shards of light flicking around it. He closed the door and tried to think of something to say...
"Thanks for the gift," she turned to face him and he smiled warmly.
She noticed and smiled back, "I told you they look nice."
Carter chuckled, "actually I think there's something sad and dark about them." They both laughed. Slowly silence seeped back in-between them and they both looked around, sensing the awkwardness of their situation.
Abby managed to speak first, "So um... Are you going to come back to work soon?"
"Hopefully. Mark and Kerry are going to see me in a few days, if they like what they see then a psychologist'll evaluate me. Then if..."
"He likes what he sees you'll be allowed to go back to work?"
They both nodded, knowing why he wasn't being fired. If he was then Kerry and Mark would be giving him more reasons to turn back to drugs for everything like he did before. There was no way any other hospital would hire him. Firing him would only make things worse. Plus his change of mood and speed of recovery obviously had a positive effect on his superiors.
Abby looked down at the floor, he could feel her nervousness coming back but he could also see a small smile force itself onto her lips, "I'm glad you're ok John."
Carter smiled, "me too," he said. She looked up and they smiled at each other again. Carter took on a serious tone, and Abby in turn stopped smiling. Her eyes widened, waiting for Carter to say something. "Abby I just... well what I wanted to say to you... I mean... thankyou Abby." Abby shook he head telling him that it wasn't a problem. "No," Carter said quickly and she looked up at him. "I mean it. Thankyou for standing by me over these last few months. I don't know if I could've coped if it wasn't for you. You've helped me in too many ways to mention and because of you I feel happier than I've ever been in a long time." He saw her smile and couldn't help but do the same himself, seeing her happy could turn his days around. He saw a small tear move slowly down her cheek. Moving in close towards her he held her face in his hands and wiped her face with his thumbs. She gently held his wrists and looked into his eyes, she saw something she had never seen in Carter before. Carter licked his upper-lip tentatively and whispered, "I love you Abby. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life," and with that he slowly moved closer to her and kissed her gently on the lips, then on her cheek.
Abby felt another tear drop down her face, "I love you too Carter."
As they kissed again they both knew that the tragedy of the last few days had brought them together. This could be looked at as a beginning. They had always been there for one another before. And now neither was going to let the other go.
****
"Cos I know... That my love is real."
****
THE END
****
I'd just like to say thanks to a few people who really aided the writing of this fic. My good buddies Drummer and Kitty for being my willing guinea pigs and offering all sorts of advice and encouragement. All the people at the carby forum on FF for being so supportive. All the people who wrote reviews, your positive comments kept this fic alive. And of course (at a risk of sounding cheesy and cliched) to you for reading it.
Rob
****
The Songs
This is a round up of all the songs lyrics used in each chapter. Naming the artist it was recorded by and which album it can be found on.
Songs are listed in order of their appearance in the chapter.
'Devastation'
Lyric taken from 'How To Disappear Completely' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Kid A.'
Lyric taken from 'Paranoid Android' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
Lyric taken from 'Pyramid Song' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Amnesiac.'
Lyric taken from 'Creep' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Pablo Honey.'
'Consequences'
Lyric taken from 'Knives Out' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Amnesiac.'
Lyric taken from 'How To Disappear Completely' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Kid A.'
Lyric taken from 'Bulletproof... I wish I was' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'Optimistic' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Kid A.'
Lyric taken from 'Lucky' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
'Antidote'
Lyric taken from 'Exit Music (For A Film)' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
Lyric taken from 'Exit Music (For A Film)' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
Lyric taken from 'Just' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'You' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Pablo Honey.'
'Dead Flowers'
Lyric taken from 'The Bends' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'Fake Plastic Trees' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'If Your Love Is Real' by David Gray. It can be found on the album 'Lost Songs.'
Lyric taken from 'If Your Love Is Real' by David Gray. It can be found on the album 'Lost Songs.'
Author: Rob - fatabbot@btinternet.com
Archive: Not without permission please
Category: Carter/Abby
Rating: PG-13 for a bit of bad language and nasty thoughts
Spoilers: All of season 7
Author's notes: This is the final part of my fic. I left the thankyou's till the end but I would just like to add that I've enjoyed writing this immensely. So I hope you've enjoyed reading it.
Disclaimer: The characters used in this story are not owned by myself. I'm just borrowing them, and promise to give them back. Also, any lyrics used in this story to head a scene were not written by myself. Again I am just borrowing them and giving them back untainted. There is a summary of the songs used at the end of this chapter.
Summary: Carter goes into a downward spiral, causing Abby to rethink an important decision she's made.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 4 - Dead Flowers
Carter sat on his bed half-listening to what Dave was saying to him. It had been three weeks since he woke up in a hospital room unsure of what he was doing there and why. Two weeks since he was released and told to have a few weeks rest before his condition was evaluated by a psychologist. He had been sitting in his bedroom for two weeks bored out of his mind. Virtually everyone had come to see him, offering encouragement, baskets of fruit and the occasional bundle of flowers. Dave, being the thoughtful soul he was, taped the big game for him. Not that he was that bothered about it. He tried to act excited as Dave whooped and cheered sitting next to the bed.
"Wow man! Did you see that!" Dave turned to face him.
Carter nodded and smiled "I know."
Dave looked up at the clock hanging from the wall. His eyes widened, "oh shit! I'm late. Weaver's gonna kill me!!" He jumped out of his chair. "Is it ok if I leave you to watch the rest on your own."
Carter nodded again, "sure," he hesitated a little before adding, "just tell Weaver that you were with me."
Dave smirked and said, "Yeah but I doubt she'll believe me." Dave looked around the room, "Are you ok man? Anything you want me to get you?"
"No no I'm fine. Just get to work."
"Take it easy buddy." Dave said as he walked out. Carter smiled again. Everyone was being really considerate. He stopped to remember all of his visitors. Deb came over with flowers and a supportive smile. Kerry stopped over. Mark and Elizabeth brought their new baby to see him. The nurses sent him a fruit basket with a card saying, "everyone here knows you'll be fine. With all our best wishes..." Heck even Luka had phoned him.
And Abby... Well there had been no Abby. No phone calls, no get-well-soon card, nothing. Why? Part of the reason that he had made such a quick recovery was that he felt so happy after she had told him that she loved him. Why hadn't she visited if she loved him? Was it the other type of love? Did she still view him as a girlfriend? He quickly stopped, not wanting to go down that road of self-deprecation and loathing again. It was a road he knew all too well. He could drive down it with his eyes closed. Not today. Not ever again.
Sleep was the answer. Sleep was the answer to everything. Whenever he wondered what Abby could be doing besides calling or even visiting him he would just shut his eyes and go to sleep. Everyone who came to see him had always told him to get some rest. It drove him nuts but they were right. He closed his eyes and wrapped himself in his blanket. He could feel sweat dripping down his back slowly, but he ignored it. Just get to sleep.
"Where are you now? When I need you."
****
"It wears her out. It wears her out."
She sat in the lounge with both hands clasped around a precious cup of coffee. It hadn't been a particularly difficult shift but she had never felt so tired. Taking a sip she closed her eyes and immediately thought of Carter. Slowly the image cleared; he was being taken into another room for a final check up before they discharged him. He was smiling at her and she was smiling back at him. Just was they were walking through the doors he shouted out, "I love you Abby!" She felt herself smile but inside she could feel waves of fear shooting through her body. To hear him say it, so sincerely and truthfully scared her to death. He really did love her...
And what of Luka? They had hardly spoken since they had their big fight but she still didn't know whether the relationship was over or not. It was as far as she was concerned but she didn't know if Luka thought the same thing. Did he think they were on a break or something? She shook herself out of her daze...
Coffee. More coffee.
"Hey Abby," Dave said as he jumped through the doors. No doubt escaping the wrath of Weaver. Abby shot him a glare over the top of her mug. "Woh!" Dave said, holding up his hands in defence, "what did I do?"
Abby sipped her coffee, "nothing," she said sarcastically. She hesitated... "How's Carter?"
"Oh Carter he's erm... doing great," Dave replied. He hesitated, something else was coming, "He misses you you know."
She almost choked on her coffee, "what?"
"I can tell. He didn't say it but I can tell. He wants you to go see him."
Abby was on defence, "what makes you think he wants to see me?"
Dave smiled, "c'mon Abby I'm not stupid," he heard her laugh, "I know how close you two are." Abby felt her cheeks turn a shade of pink. He looked at her seriously, "go and see him." Abby nodded and he walked out. Leaving her to return to her mug.
****
"There's a shadow on the path. Till I know... If your love is real."
He lay in bed trying to think about anything but her. The sleep he had was brief and unfulfilling, and now it was back to staring at his dull grey ceiling. She did say that she loved him right? Was it just a dream? If it was it was a pretty realistic dream. She held his hand, stroked his cheek, kissed his head and told him she loved him... Right?
His thoughts were killed by three loud raps on the door.
Carter got up slowly, wrapped his blanket around his shoulders, and slowly walked towards the door. Leaning in close he said softly, "who is it?"
"I have a special delivery here for a Mr. John T. Carter."
Puzzled, he opened the door to see a short, chubby, balding man holding a white box that had its lid taped down. After signing where he was supposed to he ripped the box open. He felt a tear come to his eye as he looked at its contents.
"Are you ok buddy?"
"Erm... yeah," Carter said as he removed the gift from the box. He smiled, "yeah I'm fine."
****
As he stepped out of the shower he heard a distant sound sneaking through the crack in his bathroom door. It was late, and he was just about ready to turn in. Pulling on some old, worn-out clothes he walked through into his kitchen and grabbed a bottle of milk from his refrigerator. Drinking it slowly he heard the sound again.
Turning around trying to find the source of the noise he saw nothing but an empty room filled with various shadows. The moonlight poked through the window and made images all around the room. Nothing again. He frowned, what the hell was that?
Again.
Slowly Carter looked over at the door and heard it again. A faint knocking that was only just noticeable. Carter walked slowly towards the source and wondered who could possibly be calling this late at night. Another barely audible rap on the door. It sounded like a child's knock, someone who had to stand on their tiptoes to reach the knocker.
Reaching the door he leaned in close and spoke softly, "who is it."
A small voice on the other side of the door replied, "it's me."
Carter slowly took the chain off its hook and opened the door to see Abby standing before him. She was wearing her leather jacket and had it wrapped around her chest, with her arms folded across herself for extra comfort. Carter knew that this told him she was feeling vulnerable. Without saying a word he stepped aside giving her enough room to walk through into his apartment. He watched her slowly walk into the middle of the room and stop, not turning to face him, almost captivated by the window and the shards of light flicking around it. He closed the door and tried to think of something to say...
"Thanks for the gift," she turned to face him and he smiled warmly.
She noticed and smiled back, "I told you they look nice."
Carter chuckled, "actually I think there's something sad and dark about them." They both laughed. Slowly silence seeped back in-between them and they both looked around, sensing the awkwardness of their situation.
Abby managed to speak first, "So um... Are you going to come back to work soon?"
"Hopefully. Mark and Kerry are going to see me in a few days, if they like what they see then a psychologist'll evaluate me. Then if..."
"He likes what he sees you'll be allowed to go back to work?"
They both nodded, knowing why he wasn't being fired. If he was then Kerry and Mark would be giving him more reasons to turn back to drugs for everything like he did before. There was no way any other hospital would hire him. Firing him would only make things worse. Plus his change of mood and speed of recovery obviously had a positive effect on his superiors.
Abby looked down at the floor, he could feel her nervousness coming back but he could also see a small smile force itself onto her lips, "I'm glad you're ok John."
Carter smiled, "me too," he said. She looked up and they smiled at each other again. Carter took on a serious tone, and Abby in turn stopped smiling. Her eyes widened, waiting for Carter to say something. "Abby I just... well what I wanted to say to you... I mean... thankyou Abby." Abby shook he head telling him that it wasn't a problem. "No," Carter said quickly and she looked up at him. "I mean it. Thankyou for standing by me over these last few months. I don't know if I could've coped if it wasn't for you. You've helped me in too many ways to mention and because of you I feel happier than I've ever been in a long time." He saw her smile and couldn't help but do the same himself, seeing her happy could turn his days around. He saw a small tear move slowly down her cheek. Moving in close towards her he held her face in his hands and wiped her face with his thumbs. She gently held his wrists and looked into his eyes, she saw something she had never seen in Carter before. Carter licked his upper-lip tentatively and whispered, "I love you Abby. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life," and with that he slowly moved closer to her and kissed her gently on the lips, then on her cheek.
Abby felt another tear drop down her face, "I love you too Carter."
As they kissed again they both knew that the tragedy of the last few days had brought them together. This could be looked at as a beginning. They had always been there for one another before. And now neither was going to let the other go.
****
"Cos I know... That my love is real."
****
THE END
****
I'd just like to say thanks to a few people who really aided the writing of this fic. My good buddies Drummer and Kitty for being my willing guinea pigs and offering all sorts of advice and encouragement. All the people at the carby forum on FF for being so supportive. All the people who wrote reviews, your positive comments kept this fic alive. And of course (at a risk of sounding cheesy and cliched) to you for reading it.
Rob
****
The Songs
This is a round up of all the songs lyrics used in each chapter. Naming the artist it was recorded by and which album it can be found on.
Songs are listed in order of their appearance in the chapter.
'Devastation'
Lyric taken from 'How To Disappear Completely' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Kid A.'
Lyric taken from 'Paranoid Android' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
Lyric taken from 'Pyramid Song' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Amnesiac.'
Lyric taken from 'Creep' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Pablo Honey.'
'Consequences'
Lyric taken from 'Knives Out' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Amnesiac.'
Lyric taken from 'How To Disappear Completely' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Kid A.'
Lyric taken from 'Bulletproof... I wish I was' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'Optimistic' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Kid A.'
Lyric taken from 'Lucky' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
'Antidote'
Lyric taken from 'Exit Music (For A Film)' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
Lyric taken from 'Exit Music (For A Film)' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'OK Computer.'
Lyric taken from 'Just' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'You' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'Pablo Honey.'
'Dead Flowers'
Lyric taken from 'The Bends' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'Fake Plastic Trees' by Radiohead. It can be found on the album 'The Bends.'
Lyric taken from 'If Your Love Is Real' by David Gray. It can be found on the album 'Lost Songs.'
Lyric taken from 'If Your Love Is Real' by David Gray. It can be found on the album 'Lost Songs.'