Link's First Computer
One day,Link came home from a long battle after defeating Majora. Link yawned.He sat down on his bed and laid down.After a little while Link fell asleep.He had a very weird dream(hey!he actually used his noodle!).He dreamt that all the Kokori and Hylians had new technology...like things you don't have to do by hand.Everyone had the new things except Link.It was a scary thought and he woke up.He thought,"I have to get this new technology stuff before everyone else!" as he ran to seek help.
He found himself at the Temple of Time."Hey, goddesses! I need this new technology crud so people won't laugh at me when they have it and I don't....so,give it!",Link shouted towards the heavens.
Up in the sky,Din heard his sorry plead."Like,Nayru,did you hear like,that pitiful sound?"."Yah, ah heared it.Sounds lak Lank.Farore,fin'sh paintin' mah nayols!",Nayru snorted.(what a hillbilly!)"Be brave.Be brave.Be brave.Be br-""Awww,shaadup!"Din slapped Farore in the face.Din wondered."Okay!Like,we'll give this jockey a stupid.....computer!Like,yeah!He'll probably start like,talking to it!Hahaha like,ha!".Nayru reached for the radio and they continued listening to the Spice Girls.
"Pleeeeeaaase?Look,I'll do a dance....".Before Link could start to get his hair-raising groove on,computer fell on his head,on the spot.Link just stood there.He didn't feel it.He heard it.He saw it.He tasted it(oh yeah,he thought it was a cookie)."I asked you dorks for new technology!Not a cookie..."He stuck out his bottom lip as much as he could and did puppy eyes(they looked like goldfish eyes)"...it doesn't have any taste.It tastes like Zelda!"he screamed.Everyone else praying in the temple looked at him.
"That was like,indecent."
"Ma needs ter gave yous a butt whoopin,bawy!"
Farore couldn't say anything because her face was too swollen.
Link stood there.
People stared at him.
"Hey!Why are all you people looking at me?What?Am I beautiful?Yeah!Watch me now!I can't stop myself!Jungle boogie!Funkytown!Work it!Dis-co!Owww!"Link had fallen on his sad puny butt. People stared at him. Link limped out of the Temple of Time with a smile that said 'My intelligence ranking is a deku stick'.
He took the computer and sat it on the floor."Ummm..hi!So,whats your name?" He noticed an instruction manual.He picked it up and read:
Start the Computer In A Fun Way!
1.Turn me on!
Link smiled."Ohhh,well....heh heh I'm single....uh,we'll start off with a yummy dinner okay?"
* * *
The next day Link woke up and took the computer out of his bed and placed it on the floor.
Author~Nothing gross happened,okay?
Link got on the floor and noticed a small button."Would you mind...if I see what this does?" The computer sat there."I knew you wouldn't mind."He pressed it.There was a bright light."Ahhhh!"Link shielded his eyes.He fainted.
"Oh."Link sat up and saw the desktop."I wish I could brush my teeth that fast!"He saw another button.It was smaller.He pushed it.He heard some weird noises."Omigosh!I'm so sorry!Are you okay?"Link bent down to see if it was okay.
POW!
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!My kidney!Oh,wait that's my nose."The computer's disk drive shot a 3 and a half inch floppy disk at him.It got stuck up his nose."Aghh!!I...can't...breathe!!Oh,wait I've got my other nostril and my mouth!I'm alive!!Whoopie!Free Willy!!I like that movie!"He glared at the computer.The computer sat there."How dare you do that to me!I gave you din din!I always knew you were an evil being!"He slapped the computer very hard.Link's hand hurt very bad.He picked up the computer,went out onto his balcony and dropped it.On his toe.After throwing a fit,Link picked up the computer balanced it on the rail(how'd he do that?he didn't)and pushed it.
CRASH!
Then Link thought(WOW!)"I don't want any new technology!How did I get myself into this?What am I?Dumb?No wait,I'm smart!(awww..)"
Author~Woohooo!!Great story,eh?I was cracking up when I was writing it!Thanks to "*"angeredfairy"*" for helping me get the guts to put it on this site.
..Thank goodness that Link is'nt THAT dumb.....
One day,Link came home from a long battle after defeating Majora. Link yawned.He sat down on his bed and laid down.After a little while Link fell asleep.He had a very weird dream(hey!he actually used his noodle!).He dreamt that all the Kokori and Hylians had new technology...like things you don't have to do by hand.Everyone had the new things except Link.It was a scary thought and he woke up.He thought,"I have to get this new technology stuff before everyone else!" as he ran to seek help.
He found himself at the Temple of Time."Hey, goddesses! I need this new technology crud so people won't laugh at me when they have it and I don't....so,give it!",Link shouted towards the heavens.
Up in the sky,Din heard his sorry plead."Like,Nayru,did you hear like,that pitiful sound?"."Yah, ah heared it.Sounds lak Lank.Farore,fin'sh paintin' mah nayols!",Nayru snorted.(what a hillbilly!)"Be brave.Be brave.Be brave.Be br-""Awww,shaadup!"Din slapped Farore in the face.Din wondered."Okay!Like,we'll give this jockey a stupid.....computer!Like,yeah!He'll probably start like,talking to it!Hahaha like,ha!".Nayru reached for the radio and they continued listening to the Spice Girls.
"Pleeeeeaaase?Look,I'll do a dance....".Before Link could start to get his hair-raising groove on,computer fell on his head,on the spot.Link just stood there.He didn't feel it.He heard it.He saw it.He tasted it(oh yeah,he thought it was a cookie)."I asked you dorks for new technology!Not a cookie..."He stuck out his bottom lip as much as he could and did puppy eyes(they looked like goldfish eyes)"...it doesn't have any taste.It tastes like Zelda!"he screamed.Everyone else praying in the temple looked at him.
"That was like,indecent."
"Ma needs ter gave yous a butt whoopin,bawy!"
Farore couldn't say anything because her face was too swollen.
Link stood there.
People stared at him.
"Hey!Why are all you people looking at me?What?Am I beautiful?Yeah!Watch me now!I can't stop myself!Jungle boogie!Funkytown!Work it!Dis-co!Owww!"Link had fallen on his sad puny butt. People stared at him. Link limped out of the Temple of Time with a smile that said 'My intelligence ranking is a deku stick'.
He took the computer and sat it on the floor."Ummm..hi!So,whats your name?" He noticed an instruction manual.He picked it up and read:
Start the Computer In A Fun Way!
1.Turn me on!
Link smiled."Ohhh,well....heh heh I'm single....uh,we'll start off with a yummy dinner okay?"
* * *
The next day Link woke up and took the computer out of his bed and placed it on the floor.
Author~Nothing gross happened,okay?
Link got on the floor and noticed a small button."Would you mind...if I see what this does?" The computer sat there."I knew you wouldn't mind."He pressed it.There was a bright light."Ahhhh!"Link shielded his eyes.He fainted.
"Oh."Link sat up and saw the desktop."I wish I could brush my teeth that fast!"He saw another button.It was smaller.He pushed it.He heard some weird noises."Omigosh!I'm so sorry!Are you okay?"Link bent down to see if it was okay.
POW!
"Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!My kidney!Oh,wait that's my nose."The computer's disk drive shot a 3 and a half inch floppy disk at him.It got stuck up his nose."Aghh!!I...can't...breathe!!Oh,wait I've got my other nostril and my mouth!I'm alive!!Whoopie!Free Willy!!I like that movie!"He glared at the computer.The computer sat there."How dare you do that to me!I gave you din din!I always knew you were an evil being!"He slapped the computer very hard.Link's hand hurt very bad.He picked up the computer,went out onto his balcony and dropped it.On his toe.After throwing a fit,Link picked up the computer balanced it on the rail(how'd he do that?he didn't)and pushed it.
CRASH!
Then Link thought(WOW!)"I don't want any new technology!How did I get myself into this?What am I?Dumb?No wait,I'm smart!(awww..)"
Author~Woohooo!!Great story,eh?I was cracking up when I was writing it!Thanks to "*"angeredfairy"*" for helping me get the guts to put it on this site.
..Thank goodness that Link is'nt THAT dumb.....