Title: Mouse-phobia
Summary: Obi brings home a pet mouse only
to find that Qui is terrified of mice.
Reviews: always welcome!
Disclaimer: If this ain't right, then when
he finds us, he'll crush us, grind us into little bits, and BLAST us into
oblivion. So, to escape that
undignified fate, here goes: Star Wars and all characters belong to George
Lucas. Happy now George?
Acknowledgements: Jesus (thanks!), Padawan
Nik-ka (who got me into such a crazy mood I wrote this so quickly), Orin,
Ginger Ninja, Samantha, my bro and sis for reading, my rabbit Panther, and all
the mice I've kept.
One more thing: In this fic, Qui is in love
with Adi Gallia. Enjoy!
Obi-wan: "Master, I'm back from
biology class. It was so fun! Master Windu taught us today, about small furry
creatures that live on different planets." *Obi-wan walks in through the door*
Qui-gon: "… I'm busy right now, go and change. We're going out to Coruscant today for
Dinner." *Obi-wan goes off to his room*
1 hour elapses.
Qui-gon: (loud yell) "Help!
Padawaaaaannnnn!
Heeellllpppppp! Ahhhhhhhh!
Obi-wan: *Obi-wan dashes in to find his Master perched on top of the
2metre high fridge* "Master, what are you doing? I never knew there was a fridge racing contest. Are you practising to be a jockey?
Qui-gon: Ahhhh, help
me! It's gonna bite me! Padawannnn, it's gonna take little chunks
outta me and … and…"
Obi-wan: "What is 'it'? I
don't see anything … unless you fall off and smash against the floor … then
there'd be little pieces of Qui-gon everywhere …"
Qui-gon: "It'll grind me into little bits and blast me into
oblivion! Heelllpp!"
Obi-wan: "Master, we've been through this, that's MY phrase! Copycat!
Now stop dancing on top of the fridge, unless you wanna impress Master
Gallia."
Qui-gon: "I can't come down … it's there, down there!" *Qui points a
finger at something small and furry on the floor*
Obi-wan: (laughing) "Master, it's just a mouse!"
Qui-gon: "Noooooo! It's
gonna nibble me to bits!"
Obi-wan: (thoughtfully) "C'mon Master, it's a mouse. You know, harmless, furry, bird-brained
creature that'd just as soon bite out a hunk of …"
Qui-gon: (jumping up and down) "Ahhhhhh…"
Obi-wan: "… cheese. Geez,
Master, I forgot to tell you, Master Windu gave it to me as a pet. During class."
Qui-gon: "Noooooo, this can't be happening to me! I can't live with a mouse! It'll creep into my bedroom at night and
start nibbling off my toes. And it'll
take its time, too!"
Obi-wan: "There now, Master, it can't be that bad…"
Qui-gon: (still whining) "Mummy!
Save me… ahhhhhh…"
Obi-wan: "Master, you really shouldn't ..." *there's a loud crash*
"… dance like that on the fridge." *Qui-gon is sitting on the ground surrounded
with various assorted foodstuff*
Qui-gon: (jumps up with a yell) "Ahhhh, it just bit my butt!!!"
Obi-wan: "It's just the can-opener.
Hey, you found my candy bar!"
Qui-gon: "Obi, get that thing out of here … noooowww!"
Obi-wan: "It's my pet, not a thing.
Come, let's think of a name for it."
Qui-gon: "Wahahaha! It's
comin' for me. The grim mouse reaper is
comin' for me. Mummy, I'm too young to
die!"
Obi-wan: (a little exasperated) "For Sith's sake! You're older than Master Yoda, and anyway,
it likes you, see …"
Qui-gon: "Nooooo, it's biting chunks outta my hands. Heeeellllpppp! Heeellllp! Padawannnn, please!
Ahhhh!"
Obi-wan: "I think we'll call it Adi Gallia. It seems to like you …"
Qui-gon: "Nooo, I don't like it.
Get off! I like Adi Gallia!"
Obi-wan: "See, I knew you'd come to your senses!"
Qui-gon: "Noooooo, not this one!"
Obi-wan: "Then which one, there's only one in this temple…"
Qui-gon: "You just said this fiend was Adi too."
Obi-wan: "You wanna call your girlfiend Adi 2, cool!"
Qui-gon: "Noooooo, just get Adi away from me!"
Obi-wan: "The one which is Adi
or the one which is Adi 2, or maybe the one which is Adi and the one
which is Adi 2, too."
Qui-gon: "Ewwww, it just used me as a toilet!"
Obi-wan: "Ah, yes. Now I
remember, I was telling Adi to find the 'fresher by herself."
Qui-gon: "You mean Adi 2."
Obi-wan: "No, she's your girlfiend, right?"
Qui-gon: "Who? Shut up
Padawan, and get me outta this mess!" *Qui-gon starts jumping up and down
again, trying to squash the lungs out of the mouse* "Die! Die! Die, Adi!
Die! Die! Die, Adi!"
Obi-wan: (warningly) Master … I don't recommend it …"
Qui-gon: "Die! Die! Die, Adi!
I'll squish you flat!"
Obi-wan: "Uh, Master, we kinda have someone, living below, yeah, and
…" *The door flings open*
Adi Gallia: "Qui-gon Jinn, I'm gonna kill ya!"
Qui-gon: "Die! Die! Die,
Adi! Die! Die! Die … Adi?" *stops
trying to squash the mouse's guts out*
Adi Gallia: "I'm gonna grind you into little bits and blast you into
oblivion!"
Obi-wan: "Another copycat!
Ha! I'll get the council members
to smack you for that!"
Qui-gon: "Adi, hi!"
Adi Gallia: "Close your eyes, Obi, 'cos I'm gonna soc ya master!"
Qui-gon: "Nooooo, you don't understand … you're Adi and the mouse
here is Adi. No, that's not right, erm,
yes! You're Adi 2 and the mouse is
Adi…"
Obi-wan: "Nooo nooo nooo.
Master Gallia, you're Adi, and the mouse is Adi 2…"
Qui-gon: "Nu-uh, I'm right, you're wrong!"
Obi-wan: "I'm not wrong …"
Qui-gon: "Are too!"
Obi-wan: "Are not!"
Qui-gon: "Are too!"
Obi-wan: "Are not!"
Qui-gon: "Are too!"
Obi-wan: "Are not!"
Qui-gon: (yelling really loud) "Are too!" *everyone is wondering why
there is a sudden bleeping noise, something like an astromech droid …*
Adi Gallia: "Will you both cut it out!!! Who's Adi 2?"
Qui-gon and Obi-wan: (pointing at the floor) "Her!"
Adi Gallia: "I don't see anything …"
Qui-gon: (whining) "She was therrreeee! I saw herrrrr! Nobody
believes meeeeee!"
Obi-wan: (cooing and crouching down) "Adi you sweet creature, come
out now, come to Obi. Come on baby …
now see, Qui-gon, you've frightened her."
Adi Gallia: "I'm fed up with you two! You're both crazy, I'm gonna make ya see sense!"
Author's note: The next scene has been taken out (or rather, not
written). Trust me on this though, you
don't wanna be in Obi's or Qui's boots.
3 hours later, Obi and Qui are outside the healers' room, waiting to
be glued back together.
Obi-wan: (groaning) "I think she meant stars. She was gonna make us see stars."
Qui-gon: "I've lost my girlfriend …"
Obi-wan: "There, there, Master …"
Qui-gon: "All because of a stupid mouse. I'll never be afraid of Adi again."
Obi-wan: "Which one?"
Qui-gon: (trembling and pointing with one finger at a certain furry
creature) "That one! Mummy, help! Ahhhhhhh!
Die stupid Adi!"
Voice coming from inside the healers' room: "Qui-gon, Obi, I might
have known. I'm going to have as much
fun putting you two back together as I had beating you up …"
Qui-gon: "Oops."
Obi-wan: "Y'know, mice are better than female, angry Jedi knights
who've just taken a crash course in healing arts."
Qui-gon: "Shut up, Padawan."
