Danyal Herder
Dark God Makou
The Lindblum Lunatics
Bright stars pierced the night skies, gleaming with all their power to impress the residents of Gaia that were still awake. The sun had long since departed over the Western horizon, and most of the inhabitants of the planet were settling down to a few hours of rest after a hard day's work. Through the cloudless sky, however, one group of diligent workers was still wide awake, some more than others.
The twelve main members of Neo-Tantalus had gathered in the men's sleeping quarters. A round table had been placed in the center of the room, and the members had each taken a seat at it. Any yawns that could be heard were quickly stifled, as the crew knew John didn't like feeling like no one was listening to him. At the middle on the table was a simple piece of paper, slightly burned at the edges and with tiny droplets of ink spilling onto the table. The crowd paid little attention to it at the moment, and nervously began talking with each other, waiting for the impending conference to begin, as everyone knew someone was going to get yelled at.
Their predictions were correct, as suddenly the Boss slammed a huge fist onto the table. Everyone was instantly hushed as they waited for him to begin his speech.
"Where's my beer?" He bellowed gruffly.
Syovar glanced around quickly and rose from his seat. "Don't see one, chief. Want me to go get you one?"
John shook his head. "Nah, ain't worth it. Sit back down." Syovar obliged, and John picked up the piece of paper.
"This, my friends, is the review our play got from Burmecia's Critical Staff. The BCS, as I'm sure y'are aware, is a very respected and loved source for reviewing stuff. You know, the whole nine yards."
"But the play was two frickin' days ago." Avon said in confusion.
"Ah know, you little rat. But you know how those groups are. Comparing all their bloody notes and the like. If we were a smaller group it might have taken a week to get a review out o' them."
Silence ensued for a few moments as everyone twitched in their seats nervously. Finally Pika leaped from her seat and grabbed the paper out of John's hands.
"Hey!" John hollered.
"Sorry, Boss, but I just gotta see what they wrote about us!" Pika's feline hands graced through the paper furiously silently for a few seconds. She finally lowered the paper and laughed furiously.
"They loved us!" She cried happily.
"What? Let me see that!" Yrena snatched it from Pika and glanced through it. A grin rose on her face as well. "Well, well, well." She smirked. "I shall quote here: The lead actress, Yrena Esperanza, was a flawless version of the nameless heroine killed by her father's bodyguard."
"Ooh, it talks about me?" Simon said, reaching out a fatty hand and taking the paper for himself. "Hmmm...Her father, who probably packed on a few pounds for the role, stuttered a bit, but for the most part the young Simon Carlisle pulled off a respectable performance." Simon relaxed in his chair, letting his girth stretch out over his body. "That's a relief."
"My turn!" Frederick delightfully took his turn at taking the paper. "The amazing young protege Frederick Black gave what was probably the best performance of the night, capturing the lost nephew of the lord magnificently. Black was also the only one to make his death truly breathtaking." Frederick slapped the paper down triumphantly. "I got this down soooo good!" He swung his fist in the air happily.
"What does it say about the music?" Amadeus asked.
"Calm down, penguin boy. I'll read it to you." Avon said, who now had the paper. "The musical score, comprised mainly of classical symphonies and upbeat tempos, was for the most part uplifting."
Amadeus sighed. "Excellent."
"And now me. Avon and Ophelia Dazil, twins who also play twin bodyguards to the lord, were decent, but a bit of overacting was present, as though the two tried to make their characters more important than they actually were." Avon's eyes turned a blood red. "Hey! I thought our characters were important!"
"Calm down, Avon. It's not like we were main characters. And you did take way too long to die." Ophelia said disapprovingly.
Avon was fuming. "Still, that pisses me off!" He slammed the paper on the table and sat back in his chair to sulk. Kelvin took the paper.
"What else does it say...Kelvin Terus, a Salamander with an afro rivaling that of Amarant Coral, gave a cool, off-beat performance of a wandering minstrel caught up in the mayhem of the town. Kelvin barely seemed to care about the show, even though his character is one of the only ones to survive the play." Kelvin chuckled. "I guess that fits me pretty well."
"Quit hogging the paper." Marina snapped and stole it from his hands. "Marina Landalen was excellent as the loyal knight preaching her blind faith to the rest of the soldiers. This was an admittedly tough role for Landalen, considering the role is actually that of a man, but she still fared quite well." Marina said to herself.
"I think I'm the last one." Nikolai said, gently taking the paper from Marina's hands. "Nikolai Irvine, the black sheep of Neo-Tantalus, played an equally misguided character in the best friend of the protagonist. It was difficult to gauge Irvine's effectiveness as an actor, especially since his character doesn't even live halfway through the play." Nikolai read blankly.
John slammed his fist into the table again. All commotion over the paper halted immediately and all eyes were once again focused on the leader.
"Yeah, the paper said y'all did good. But don't get cocky! We're doin' a totally different play for Lindblum the day after tomorrow, so get every single one of yer lines perfect!"
Marina glanced at him. "Why? Is this play more important than the one at Burmecia?"
Syovar nodded furiously. "You bet! This play's for the 25th anniversary of Eiko as Regent of Lindblum! Not only will she and her son Zidaro be there, but it's rumored that Holy Knights Steiner and Beatrix of Alexandria will be present!"
"Huh?" Nikolai's eyes darted to Syovar. "What're they doing in Lindblum?"
Syovar shrugged. "Guess they're on some business in Lindblum. Or maybe they're just there to see Regent Eiko. In any event, they might be there!"
Jonathon rose. "Alright, that's it from me. Everyone hit the hay now. Tomorrow we're hittin' Lindblum. You'll have tomorrow to do any sightseein', but you better know yer lines by the day after tomorrow, or I'll throw yer fannies in the fire pit! Dismissed!"
The actors all got the hint and rose from the table. Soon only John and Syovar were left at the table. The front man of the troupe sat down and nudged his boss's shoulder.
"Come on, Boss, you gotta admit. We did good."
John shrugged. "I guess so."
Syovar laughed. "Come on. What did the paper say about us?"
John tossed him the paper. "Help yourself."
Syovar caught it and began to thumb through it. "The play was directed fantastically by Jonathon Marcus, son of original member Marcus, and he purposely took a small role, that of narrator. Even so, he gave such an aura of control and power, everyone knew that the play was in safe hands. The feeling of self-confidence was reflected even moreso in the lead actor, Syovar Wyvern, as the hero of the story who ends up succumbing to his dark side. The audience was enthralled as Wyvern took us down his trail of love and despair, culminating with his final act of revenge." Syovar's eyes rose with pride as he faced John. "You hear that, Boss?"
John snorted. "Wyvern, I could go for a beer now."
Syovar instantly rose. "Yes, sir!" He darted out of the room. John laughed and sighed. As he rested back into his seat, he looked around cautiously. Seeing no one else in the room, he picked up the well-thumbed paper and read it thoroughly, dissecting every sentence. His smile got wider with every word.
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The mighty aircraft of Neo-Tantalus bustled its way through the mighty gates of Lindblum, and before noon the ship was being navigated to the parking zone of the castle. Everywhere John looked, there was a guard waving him in another direction. Finally, he was guided to a parking space and was able to turn off his engine. Rising from his seat, he bellowed for the rest of his crew to get off the ship.
As soon as he walked down the steps of his ship, he saw two knights dressed in traditional Lindblum armor waiting for him. They saluted John upon seeing him and prepared to recite the speech they memorized.
"Good afternoon, Sir Jonathon."
John stared at them. "Umm...Good afternoon. Is something wrong?"
The guards instantly shook their heads. "Quite the opposite, sir. Regent Eiko read the Burmecia Critical Staff review of your play, and she is now quite interested in meeting all of you."
"Really? We're gonna meet the Regent?" Nikolai asked excitedly.
Both guards nodded simultaneously. "She also has a...business proposition for your group, if you're interested."
Syovar arched his eyebrow. "Business? Probably means something illegal." He grinned.
"If you will all follow us." The guards turned around blankly and walked in the direction of the throne room. The twelve members of Neo-Tantalus shrugged and followed the guards.
They were led to a waiting room with a beautiful fountain in the center. They were instructed by the guards to sit and wait until further notice. After that they disappeared into an elevator. While they were gone, the actors bickered among themselves nervously.
"I can't believe we're gonna meet Regent Eiko."
"Business for us? Maybe we have to rescue someone, or we have to fight off some weird dragon."
"I wonder if everything I've heard about her is true."
All their murmurings were quickly interrupted by the elevator reaching the waiting room again. This time, however, the two guards did not emerge. Instead was a young man dressed in a silk shirt and leather pants, both a bit loose to hide the man's slightly overweight body. A bright red cape spun behind him, and a strange horn stuck out from his loose black hair. He bowed to the group when the elevator stopped.
"Good day, ladies and gentlemen. I am Zidaro, son of Eiko and the future Regent of Lindblum."
Yrena leapt from her seat and walked next to him. "Oooh, I heard that you were a handsome one, but I wasn't expecting this." She purred.
Zidaro blushed. "Thank you. Well, my mother is very eager to meet all of you, so if you will all follow me, we can go see her."
The elevator was a little cramped with thirteen bodies in it, but they managed to stifle their complaints. Each was determined to look elegant and dignified when they stepped off the elevator and brushed with royalty. A few of the members could even feel their noses get browner.
The elevator ascended to the highest room in the tower, and the sliding doors opened by themselves mysteriously. Zidaro stepped out, followed by the members of Neo-Tantalus. They were in a very extravagant throne room of some sort. Windows all over the walls allowed for gorgeous views of the city, and flowers of every kind were planted in soil plots on the perimeter of the room. In the center of the room was a beautiful, ruby-red throne mounted on a series of steps.
"The Regent awaits." Zidaro bowed. No sooner had he said that when a person hopped out of the throne and darted down to them. She was a elderly woman of average height, with her combed hair showing a few signs of gray. She was dressed in a lush blue dress, and the horn on her head seemed to sparkle.
"Hello, everyone. I hope you're all enjoying Lindblum so far. I'm Eiko, and I have to talk to you all."
Zidaro blushed. "Um, Mom, that's a pretty informal way to talk."
"Quiet down, Zidaro. These aren't ambassadors or anything. They're just a few wandering minstrels, right?" Eiko laughed.
John nodded. "Ya got that right." He said matter-of-factly through a gritted smile.
"That's good. Anyway, there is something I have to speak to you about. Have any of you ever heard of the Lindblum Lunatics?"
Marina nodded. "Yes, I've read eyewitness encounters about them."
"I haven't. What are they?" Nikolai asked.
"They're a gang of rogues based around this area. Basically they plunder any house they can break into, and they rob from travelers." Eiko said solemnly.
"Oh, okay. But why are they called the Lindblum Lunatics?" Nikolai asked, scratching his head.
Zidaro began speaking. "They are crazy, and if one of them is caught they do nothing but scream and yell incoherently to no end. They do it for days and days on end. Of course, we can't kill them, so we have to just endure it until they lose their voices or one of our guards loses his patience."
"They're that crazy?" Simon asked.
Eiko nodded. "Yes, and as soon as I heard that you doubled as...mischief-makers, I thought you could all use the job."
"What exactly is the job then, Miss Eiko?" John asked.
"Well, we intercepted a message they were delivering to each other. In the note it says that they are gathering in some area a couple of miles out of town for some kind of meeting tonight. I would like you to go over there, knock as many of 'em out as you can, and get as much information as possible."
Syovar's eyes widened. "But there might be hundreds in the group! We can't fight that many!"
Eiko laughed. "You might not be able to, but you'll be going with someone who can. Not only will Zidaro be going with you, but I'm sending one of the greatest fighters in the universe over with you, and together hopefully you can all get the job done."
"Awww...Miss Eiko?" Pika asked.
"Yes, little one?"
"Can't we do this another day? We just got here, and we wanted to do some sight-seeing today. And besides, if one of us gets hurt, the play might be ruined!" Pika purred.
Eiko nodded knowingly. "I know, but we don't know if the Lunatics are going to be in that area after tonight. And I can't spare a single soldier out, so that's why I'm turning to you all."
Simon raised his hand nervously. "So we'd all be in the fighting?"
The Regent of Lindblum nodded. "I need all the help I can get. All my soldiers are busy preparing for the fair, and I can't afford to send them out of the city limits. So, will you all help me?"
John stepped forward. "Lady Eiko, we would all be honored to help you rid the town of these pests." He said in the most elegant manner he could.
Eiko giggled. "Thank you kindly. Well, I guess you all want to meet who you're going with."
At the moment another door to the room opened and two elderly people walked in, both much older than Eiko. Both were clad in full armor with the Alexandrian crest on them. One, a male, seemed to be sweating and flailed his arms madly when he spoke. The other, a woman with an eye patch, brushed her hair to the side as she talked.
"Beatrix, are you absolutely positive you want to go through with this? You could get hurt!" The man cried.
"Adelbert, I've been married to you for almost 50 years! Don't you have any trust in my abilities?" The woman sighed again.
"Yes, but...You're not as quick as you used to be..."
"Oh, come on, Adelbert. It'll be fine."
The two knights found themselves standing in front of the Regent, her son, and twelve others with their jaws hanging.
"Y...Y...You're..." Avon started, mesmerized.
Eiko laughed. "Neo-Tantalus, I'd like for you to meet Holy Knights Steiner and Beatrix."
"Charmed." Both Steiner and Beatrix said at the exact same moment.
"General Beatrix will be accompanying you to the hideout."
The Alexandrian fighter stepped forward. "Hey, there's a face I recognize. How're you doing, Frederick?"
The red mage blushed and smiled. "Good, ma'am."
Beatrix nodded. "All right, people. I'll make this short and simple. Meet at the city's front gates at eight o'clock tonight. Sound good?"
The members of Neo-Tantalus, still in their trance, nodded dumbly.
"Great!" Zidaro exclaimed.
"Thank you all so much. You are all excused from the Regent's audience." Eiko giggled, loving every time she got to say that.
"Oh, one other thing." Zidaro piped up. "On your way out, stop by the weapons room and take some kind of weapon for the trip."
"We'll do that." Syovar said.
"All righty then, off with you all. Bye!" Eiko called, waving good-bye.
Neo-Tantalus's members shuffled around to the elevator, all one giant life-form that was hypnotized at what they had just seen. Not only had they gotten the honor of meeting the Regent of Lindblum and her son, but they were also traveling on a mission with one of the world's best fighters! They certainly seemed to be charmed.
As soon as the elevator departed, the four remaining people in the room stood by silently. Eiko hopped up to her throne.
"Well, guys, what do you think?" She asked.
"They seem nice enough." Zidaro replied
"I hope that can make a performance up to par with that of Zidane and the original group." Steiner said stiffly.
Eiko nodded. "I'm sure they will. Beatrix, do you think they're good enough to help you?"
Beatrix shrugged. "I suppose. I probably won't need much help anyway."
Her husband got down on his knees. "Beatrix, please reconsider your decision. If something were you to happen to you, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself..."
Beatrix sighed yet again and got Steiner to his feet. "Don't worry, Adelbert. I promise you I'll return, okay?"
With that, the two kissed. Zidaro and Eiko excused themselves from the room, knowing that there must be some Lindblum paperwork to go through somewhere else in the castle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Is everybody ready?" Beatrix called out.
"Yeah! Yup! Aye!" Called out thirteen voices.
"Alright, good. I'll be manning the chariot, as I know where the interception location is. The rest of you, just relax until I give you the cue."
The group was seated inside a giant chariot being piloted by four chocobos. Beatrix was seated at the front, while the others sat comfortably in the back, each brandishing their new weapon.
"So, Zidaro, how long do you think this 'ere mission'll take?" John asked, wiping his axe with a cloth towel.
"I don't know. It could take five minutes, or it could take all day."
"That'd suck." Avon said, counting his throwing stars he had latched onto his belt.
"I'll say. We've got better things to do than go traipsing around the countryside, looking for a couple of bandits." Ophelia replied as he inspected her dagger.
"Ow!" Pika suddenly cried out.
"What's wrong, lassie?" John asked.
"These claws are sharp!" Pika wailed, touching one of the claws attached to her hands gingerly.
"Hey, you picked those things." Kelvin shrugged, smacking his brass knuckles together calmly.
"Syovar, how can you hold up that huge sword?" Simon asked, his breath taken away at the sight of his ally tossing it around so effortlessly.
"It's not so hard. It just looks heavy." Syovar grinned, eager that he had gotten some attention after all.
"I guess. Still, I don't think I could lift that. I'm happy with my whip." Simon said, patting his long, leather whip that was strapped to his side.
"Master Frederick, if you are not content with your rod, I'd be more than happy to trade weapons with you." Amadeus said, holding out his wooden staff gently.
"No thank you, Amadeus. Metal rods are my favorite weapons. They're both light and effective." Frederick said, twirling the rod around easily.
"I still don't get why you chose a fan, of all things." Marina said to Yrena as she rubbed some dirt off her own spear. Yrena turned to the Burmecian and shrugged her light shoulders.
"What's wrong with a fan? They keep you cool, don't they?"
"Yeah, but they don't exactly hurt people that well." Nikolai chuckled as he tucked his own short sword off to his side.
"Well, maybe I don't want to kill anyone at all. I'm a healer, not a killer, remember?" Yrena snapped back .
Zidaro held out his hand and placed it on her shoulder. "Easy, girl, there will be plenty of time for bloodlust after we track those thieves down." The soft touch of Zidaro calmed Yrena down considerably.
About an hour passed before the entire chariot slammed forwards suddenly, knocking everyone off balance and into the person in front of them. After a few moments of angry cursing and shuffling to get back to their feet, Zidaro darted to the front of the vehicle. After a few tense seconds, he leapt back into the back and unsheathed his halberd.
"All right, guys, this is it. Everyone get their weapons out."
The other twelve obliged and let their weapons loose.
"John, open the back, will you?"
"Sure thing." John kicked the back door open forcefully, and stared out into the open. The sun was just beginning to set, and the darkness was started it nightly loom over the countryside. Neo-Tantalus hopped out of the chariot cautiously, hoping that no thieves were present.
The thirteen gathered together and Beatrix, who had given the chocobos some greens to munch on, walked up to them.
"All right, boys and girls, this is it. You all see that hill over there?" She pointed to a small hill with her sword. "The camp is just beyond that little overpass. The fourteen of us are going to camp out there for about five minutes. If they haven't discovered us by then, than Zidaro and I are going to try and sneak in and knock out the leader."
"What if you can't?" Pika asked nervously.
Zidaro stepped forward. "I've got a special flare attached to my arm. If we're in trouble, I'll send it into the air. Once you see it, you all charge in and begin the fight. This could be the fight of your lives, so be ready for anything."
"Do we know how many there are?" Marina asked.
Beatrix shook her head. "Nay, but my guess is around thirty. So we'll need all of your help. Understood?"
Twelve heads nodded dumbly.
"All right. Let's go."
The group began their march of several hundred yards quietly, each thinking of the different events that could transpire. By the time they reached the edge of the hill, several were already out of breath. They refused to look weak in front of the greatest warrior ever, however, and pushed themselves to climb up the terrain.
After a few minutes of hiking, the group arrived at a small flatland just a few feet below the tip of the hill. Beatrix beckoned for them to be quiet and motioned to Zidaro. They stood while the others crouched down. Beatrix and Zidaro hopped over the cliff and walked silently into the unknown.
Despite their warnings, hardly five seconds passed before Pika, Avon and Nikolai's heads were peering over the hill to see what was going on. Several minutes passed with little fanfare, but soon they could hear shouting in the distance. Instantaneously, a huge red blast of fire went off into the air.
"That's our cue! Come on, everyone!" Avon shouted.
The twelve hopped the hill, and mustered their greatest war cries. As they charged, they saw several crudely made huts strung up, with a slightly larger one in the center of the rest. Figuring that was where Beatrix and Zidaro were, the group let loose their calls and ran towards the center hut. Upon reaching it, they saw that the door was open. John and Syovar burst through, with the others following.
They saw Zidaro and Beatrix on the right side of the hut, their weapons outstretched. To the left were about fifteen filthy thieves of mixed race and gender, each clutching a dagger or knife tightly.
"I don't think I have to tell you again, Rotdon, that we will not hesitate to kill you or your scum friends." Beatrix said calmly.
A hideous laugh erupted from the left. It was coming from a monstrously obese male human in his late twenties. Flies sputtered around his unwashed body, and his loosely thrown together rags were bursting at the seams, trying to support his massively overweight body.
"Do you think I'm scared of an uptight little bitch like you, missy?" He snarled, his mouth revealing rotted stumps for teeth.
Beatrix managed to resist throwing up at the sight, and instead she turned to the members of Neo-Tantalus. "Be warned, young ones. The rest of the Lunatics have probably surrounded this hut as we speak."
Marina, who was closest to the door, whirled around. Indeed, she stood face to face with about twenty equally dirty muggers.
"Are these little shitters the only troops your pathetic kingdom could up with, wench?" Rotdon asked loudly, letting out an enormous laugh and finishing it with a monstrous belch.
"I'll have you know that these are Lindblum's top ranking warriors." Zidaro sneered, doing to best to conceal the lie.
"Izzat so?" Rotdon said, hefting his girth up. "I'll tell you what. If my best man beats your best man, all of us will surrender. If not, we get to plunder from you all and then you leave."
"Agreed. Who will I be facing?" Beatrix asked.
"Ah, ah, ah, girlie! I said, "Man!" You gotta pick one of your little boy-toys over there to fight." Rotdon grinned.
Beatrix groaned. "I see why we threw you out of Lindblum in the first place. All right, guys." She walked over to the troupe. "I'm sorry, but one of you has to fight. Are there any volunteers?"
"I believe I'm the only logical choice." John said, picking up his axe.
"Wait, John! I want to fight." Syovar rushed up.
John stared at his protege with newfound pride. "You sure, laddie? There's a good chance you won't get out of the fight alive."
Syovar nodded. "I know, but if I die, Neo-Tantalus can continue. Without you, it can't."
John nodded. "All right. You luck, boy."
The young man nodded again, lifted his broadsword from its sheath, and stepped forward. "Rotdon! I accept your challenge, and will take on any fighter you choose!"
"Great. Xovonob, do yer stuff." Rotdon laughed.
A huge man, probably nearly seven feet tall, stood up and plucked his weapon, a simple club with a nail in it, off the ground. Syovar stared at his competition for a moment in fear, and realized just what he was up against.
Xovonob charged forward suddenly, and out of instinct Syovar dove to the ground. The giant tripped over Syovar's body and tumbled to the ground. Syovar leaped on his back and plunged his sword into Xovonob's back violently. Blood gushed out of the body as the thief screamed holy terror. The shouting only lasting a few seconds, however, and before long Syovar found himself on top of a corpse.
Beatrix roared with laughter. "That's your best warrior, Rotdon? My boy took him out in five seconds! You're pathetic!"
Rotdon, who did not being insulted, began to tremble with anger. "Boys, tear these little shitbags to pieces!" He roared.
Within a second the hut was overrun with angry soldiers. The hut didn't last long and soon the walls and ceiling tumbled to the ground, revealing a battleground of fourteen fighters against countless others.
Avon and Ophelia, who were standing back-to-back, tried to get to Rotdon, but found a group of five or so thugs instead. Avon plucked a throwing star off his belt and flicked it off instantly. It landed squarely in the chest of one grunt, and he fell dead. Ophelia leaped forward and found valiantly against the remaining ones. She took several nasty gashes on her left arm, but retorted by sticking her dagger into the thug's chest, killing him instantly. The others fled the spectacle, and Avon helped his sister back to the hill, where he tended to her wounds as they watched the fight unfold.
Pika, trying to avoid any conflict, ran in the opposite direction of the fight, but ran straight into a nasty-looking thief. Instinctively, she pulled her claws out and scratched him as hard as she could. Blood poured out of his body and he soon passed out, but Pika was bashed in the head herself by another thug. She fell, unconscious.
Yrena was bouncing around, whacking people with her fan valiantly, using it to stun foes while Marina knocked them out with her menacing spear. Before long, however, her luck ran out, and she was knocked to the ground. After taking several stomps to the head, she passed out. Marina left several scars on the ones hurting Yrena, and after causing them to retreat, the Burmecian mustered the strength to leap back to the hill, with Yrena in her arms.
Rotdon noticed that Zidaro was getting dangerously close to him. He called five soldiers to his seat to make sure nothing happened to him. When he saw them fall before the son of the Regent, he panicked. He picked up a knife off the ground and tossed it to Zidaro. It passed through his right leg, and Zidaro fell.
Simon found it difficult to fight considering his trouble moving around. He found slapping people with his whip useful, but there was little he could to defend himself. Before long a group of thugs had him surrounded and knocked him out with a tough headlock.
Syovar and John were fighting the bulk of the thugs, but were having little luck. Having ten or so thieves overwhelm them was too much, and they vanished amidst a sea of dirty bodies. Several kick to the head brought of them unconscious.
Amadeus, Frederick, Nikolai and Kelvin saw that they were the only remaining members of Neo-Tantalus fighting. With another twenty thieves approaching them, they bravely charged forward, their weapons outstretched. Unfortunately, there were just too many, and before long Amadeus was knocked out. Nikolai was next, getting a nasty blow to his head. Frederick had to call of their charge and carried Amadeus and Nikolai back before they could be killed.
Rotdon stared at the spectacle, pleased. He saw Beatrix standing without an opponent, and stood up.
"Hope you're happy, wench! Your entire group just go annihilated by mine! You're all that's left, and you've got about twenty fighters to face! What have ya got to say about that?"
Beatrix turned to him, glared at his fat body with her one good eye, and clenched her fist.
"Bring it on."
"Charge, men!" Rotdon hollered.
Beatrix saw the avalanche of men come towards her. She lifted her sword, and suddenly leaped into action. She seemed to move through the men, her sword becoming nothing more than an extension of her body. She slashed into the bodies with beautiful grace, and by the time she had moved completely through the crowd, ten more bodies were on the ground.
While the survivors recuperated and caught their breath, Beatrix muttered one word.
"Climhazzard."
A flurry of brilliant lightning bolts struck the thieves, knocking one down each time. There was little the shocked fighters could do but watch their death come. After ten or so seconds, the entire group of thieves lay dead on the ground. She turned to Rotdon, the sole survivor of the once-huge Lindblum Lunatics.
"Ready to surrender, boy?" Beatrix asked.
"Bah! You think I care 'bout these filthy buggers? They were just fodder. Don't worry, witch, we'll meet again." Rotdon pulled a pouch off his extra-long belt, tossed a bit of powder into the air, and within moments a massive flash erupted. When the smoke cleared, Rotdon was gone. Beatrix cursed to herself.
"Damn! I should have known he'd have some kind of magic to bail him out! I should have killed him while I had the chance."
Seeing no point in thinking about a lost cause, she began to pick up the corpses off the ground, loading them into a wheelbarrow she saw. The members of Neo-Tantalus who were conscious were spellbound by her performance. They scrambled to help her.
"That...was amazing, Mrs. Beatrix." Frederick said.
Beatrix winked. "Come on, Frederick, you've seen me do that before."
"To punching bags! Never on real people!"
"That was indeed beautiful, Beatrix." Zidaro said, who had gotten up and was rubbing his leg.
"Maybe, maybe not. What I do know is that we need to collect all these bodies."
"Why?" Avon asked.
"We're going to build a mass grave for them. They may have been pathetic beings, but they were still living creatures. Come on, someone help me out here."
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The ride back to Lindblum was much quieter than the ride from there. Only Beatrix and Zidaro weren't unconscious or sleeping, and the rotting bodies of the thieves in the back didn't help the dispositions of anyone, either.
Zidaro climbed into the front with the Holy Knight about halfway through the journey.
"What was the total body count?" He asked.
"36 bodies. None of the Neo-Tantalus guys were seriously hurt, but there are definitely going to be some scars."
"Will any of them not be able to perform?" Zidaro asked.
Beatrix shrugged. "They should all be okay by tomorrow, though they'll still be some heavy stinging."
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"And that, my dear, was the whole idea behind my plan." Syovar said, grinning ear to ear as he held Yrena in his arms.
"My love, how do you think of such ingenious ideas?" Yrena giggled.
"My dear, I am not of extraordinary intelligence."
"Then what is it, love?"
"Everyone else is of extraordinary idiocy." Syovar grinned.
The entire theater erupted into hysterical bits of laughter as the curtains fell on the couple. A thunderous ovation ensued, and continued for several minutes. The curtains rose again, and the entire cast of Neo-Tantalus stepped out for their final bows.
The loudest claps of all came from the royal booth, where Eiko whistled and cheered with approval. Seated next to her was Zidaro, who was giving more formal forms of appreciation. Beatrix and Steiner also clapped with their approval from the booth.
John, staring at the royal booth, smiled. He knew that if they were giving such enthusiasm, then he must be doing something right. The 10,000 Gil he had pocketed from them didn't hurt his attitude, either.
Dark God Makou
The Lindblum Lunatics
Bright stars pierced the night skies, gleaming with all their power to impress the residents of Gaia that were still awake. The sun had long since departed over the Western horizon, and most of the inhabitants of the planet were settling down to a few hours of rest after a hard day's work. Through the cloudless sky, however, one group of diligent workers was still wide awake, some more than others.
The twelve main members of Neo-Tantalus had gathered in the men's sleeping quarters. A round table had been placed in the center of the room, and the members had each taken a seat at it. Any yawns that could be heard were quickly stifled, as the crew knew John didn't like feeling like no one was listening to him. At the middle on the table was a simple piece of paper, slightly burned at the edges and with tiny droplets of ink spilling onto the table. The crowd paid little attention to it at the moment, and nervously began talking with each other, waiting for the impending conference to begin, as everyone knew someone was going to get yelled at.
Their predictions were correct, as suddenly the Boss slammed a huge fist onto the table. Everyone was instantly hushed as they waited for him to begin his speech.
"Where's my beer?" He bellowed gruffly.
Syovar glanced around quickly and rose from his seat. "Don't see one, chief. Want me to go get you one?"
John shook his head. "Nah, ain't worth it. Sit back down." Syovar obliged, and John picked up the piece of paper.
"This, my friends, is the review our play got from Burmecia's Critical Staff. The BCS, as I'm sure y'are aware, is a very respected and loved source for reviewing stuff. You know, the whole nine yards."
"But the play was two frickin' days ago." Avon said in confusion.
"Ah know, you little rat. But you know how those groups are. Comparing all their bloody notes and the like. If we were a smaller group it might have taken a week to get a review out o' them."
Silence ensued for a few moments as everyone twitched in their seats nervously. Finally Pika leaped from her seat and grabbed the paper out of John's hands.
"Hey!" John hollered.
"Sorry, Boss, but I just gotta see what they wrote about us!" Pika's feline hands graced through the paper furiously silently for a few seconds. She finally lowered the paper and laughed furiously.
"They loved us!" She cried happily.
"What? Let me see that!" Yrena snatched it from Pika and glanced through it. A grin rose on her face as well. "Well, well, well." She smirked. "I shall quote here: The lead actress, Yrena Esperanza, was a flawless version of the nameless heroine killed by her father's bodyguard."
"Ooh, it talks about me?" Simon said, reaching out a fatty hand and taking the paper for himself. "Hmmm...Her father, who probably packed on a few pounds for the role, stuttered a bit, but for the most part the young Simon Carlisle pulled off a respectable performance." Simon relaxed in his chair, letting his girth stretch out over his body. "That's a relief."
"My turn!" Frederick delightfully took his turn at taking the paper. "The amazing young protege Frederick Black gave what was probably the best performance of the night, capturing the lost nephew of the lord magnificently. Black was also the only one to make his death truly breathtaking." Frederick slapped the paper down triumphantly. "I got this down soooo good!" He swung his fist in the air happily.
"What does it say about the music?" Amadeus asked.
"Calm down, penguin boy. I'll read it to you." Avon said, who now had the paper. "The musical score, comprised mainly of classical symphonies and upbeat tempos, was for the most part uplifting."
Amadeus sighed. "Excellent."
"And now me. Avon and Ophelia Dazil, twins who also play twin bodyguards to the lord, were decent, but a bit of overacting was present, as though the two tried to make their characters more important than they actually were." Avon's eyes turned a blood red. "Hey! I thought our characters were important!"
"Calm down, Avon. It's not like we were main characters. And you did take way too long to die." Ophelia said disapprovingly.
Avon was fuming. "Still, that pisses me off!" He slammed the paper on the table and sat back in his chair to sulk. Kelvin took the paper.
"What else does it say...Kelvin Terus, a Salamander with an afro rivaling that of Amarant Coral, gave a cool, off-beat performance of a wandering minstrel caught up in the mayhem of the town. Kelvin barely seemed to care about the show, even though his character is one of the only ones to survive the play." Kelvin chuckled. "I guess that fits me pretty well."
"Quit hogging the paper." Marina snapped and stole it from his hands. "Marina Landalen was excellent as the loyal knight preaching her blind faith to the rest of the soldiers. This was an admittedly tough role for Landalen, considering the role is actually that of a man, but she still fared quite well." Marina said to herself.
"I think I'm the last one." Nikolai said, gently taking the paper from Marina's hands. "Nikolai Irvine, the black sheep of Neo-Tantalus, played an equally misguided character in the best friend of the protagonist. It was difficult to gauge Irvine's effectiveness as an actor, especially since his character doesn't even live halfway through the play." Nikolai read blankly.
John slammed his fist into the table again. All commotion over the paper halted immediately and all eyes were once again focused on the leader.
"Yeah, the paper said y'all did good. But don't get cocky! We're doin' a totally different play for Lindblum the day after tomorrow, so get every single one of yer lines perfect!"
Marina glanced at him. "Why? Is this play more important than the one at Burmecia?"
Syovar nodded furiously. "You bet! This play's for the 25th anniversary of Eiko as Regent of Lindblum! Not only will she and her son Zidaro be there, but it's rumored that Holy Knights Steiner and Beatrix of Alexandria will be present!"
"Huh?" Nikolai's eyes darted to Syovar. "What're they doing in Lindblum?"
Syovar shrugged. "Guess they're on some business in Lindblum. Or maybe they're just there to see Regent Eiko. In any event, they might be there!"
Jonathon rose. "Alright, that's it from me. Everyone hit the hay now. Tomorrow we're hittin' Lindblum. You'll have tomorrow to do any sightseein', but you better know yer lines by the day after tomorrow, or I'll throw yer fannies in the fire pit! Dismissed!"
The actors all got the hint and rose from the table. Soon only John and Syovar were left at the table. The front man of the troupe sat down and nudged his boss's shoulder.
"Come on, Boss, you gotta admit. We did good."
John shrugged. "I guess so."
Syovar laughed. "Come on. What did the paper say about us?"
John tossed him the paper. "Help yourself."
Syovar caught it and began to thumb through it. "The play was directed fantastically by Jonathon Marcus, son of original member Marcus, and he purposely took a small role, that of narrator. Even so, he gave such an aura of control and power, everyone knew that the play was in safe hands. The feeling of self-confidence was reflected even moreso in the lead actor, Syovar Wyvern, as the hero of the story who ends up succumbing to his dark side. The audience was enthralled as Wyvern took us down his trail of love and despair, culminating with his final act of revenge." Syovar's eyes rose with pride as he faced John. "You hear that, Boss?"
John snorted. "Wyvern, I could go for a beer now."
Syovar instantly rose. "Yes, sir!" He darted out of the room. John laughed and sighed. As he rested back into his seat, he looked around cautiously. Seeing no one else in the room, he picked up the well-thumbed paper and read it thoroughly, dissecting every sentence. His smile got wider with every word.
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The mighty aircraft of Neo-Tantalus bustled its way through the mighty gates of Lindblum, and before noon the ship was being navigated to the parking zone of the castle. Everywhere John looked, there was a guard waving him in another direction. Finally, he was guided to a parking space and was able to turn off his engine. Rising from his seat, he bellowed for the rest of his crew to get off the ship.
As soon as he walked down the steps of his ship, he saw two knights dressed in traditional Lindblum armor waiting for him. They saluted John upon seeing him and prepared to recite the speech they memorized.
"Good afternoon, Sir Jonathon."
John stared at them. "Umm...Good afternoon. Is something wrong?"
The guards instantly shook their heads. "Quite the opposite, sir. Regent Eiko read the Burmecia Critical Staff review of your play, and she is now quite interested in meeting all of you."
"Really? We're gonna meet the Regent?" Nikolai asked excitedly.
Both guards nodded simultaneously. "She also has a...business proposition for your group, if you're interested."
Syovar arched his eyebrow. "Business? Probably means something illegal." He grinned.
"If you will all follow us." The guards turned around blankly and walked in the direction of the throne room. The twelve members of Neo-Tantalus shrugged and followed the guards.
They were led to a waiting room with a beautiful fountain in the center. They were instructed by the guards to sit and wait until further notice. After that they disappeared into an elevator. While they were gone, the actors bickered among themselves nervously.
"I can't believe we're gonna meet Regent Eiko."
"Business for us? Maybe we have to rescue someone, or we have to fight off some weird dragon."
"I wonder if everything I've heard about her is true."
All their murmurings were quickly interrupted by the elevator reaching the waiting room again. This time, however, the two guards did not emerge. Instead was a young man dressed in a silk shirt and leather pants, both a bit loose to hide the man's slightly overweight body. A bright red cape spun behind him, and a strange horn stuck out from his loose black hair. He bowed to the group when the elevator stopped.
"Good day, ladies and gentlemen. I am Zidaro, son of Eiko and the future Regent of Lindblum."
Yrena leapt from her seat and walked next to him. "Oooh, I heard that you were a handsome one, but I wasn't expecting this." She purred.
Zidaro blushed. "Thank you. Well, my mother is very eager to meet all of you, so if you will all follow me, we can go see her."
The elevator was a little cramped with thirteen bodies in it, but they managed to stifle their complaints. Each was determined to look elegant and dignified when they stepped off the elevator and brushed with royalty. A few of the members could even feel their noses get browner.
The elevator ascended to the highest room in the tower, and the sliding doors opened by themselves mysteriously. Zidaro stepped out, followed by the members of Neo-Tantalus. They were in a very extravagant throne room of some sort. Windows all over the walls allowed for gorgeous views of the city, and flowers of every kind were planted in soil plots on the perimeter of the room. In the center of the room was a beautiful, ruby-red throne mounted on a series of steps.
"The Regent awaits." Zidaro bowed. No sooner had he said that when a person hopped out of the throne and darted down to them. She was a elderly woman of average height, with her combed hair showing a few signs of gray. She was dressed in a lush blue dress, and the horn on her head seemed to sparkle.
"Hello, everyone. I hope you're all enjoying Lindblum so far. I'm Eiko, and I have to talk to you all."
Zidaro blushed. "Um, Mom, that's a pretty informal way to talk."
"Quiet down, Zidaro. These aren't ambassadors or anything. They're just a few wandering minstrels, right?" Eiko laughed.
John nodded. "Ya got that right." He said matter-of-factly through a gritted smile.
"That's good. Anyway, there is something I have to speak to you about. Have any of you ever heard of the Lindblum Lunatics?"
Marina nodded. "Yes, I've read eyewitness encounters about them."
"I haven't. What are they?" Nikolai asked.
"They're a gang of rogues based around this area. Basically they plunder any house they can break into, and they rob from travelers." Eiko said solemnly.
"Oh, okay. But why are they called the Lindblum Lunatics?" Nikolai asked, scratching his head.
Zidaro began speaking. "They are crazy, and if one of them is caught they do nothing but scream and yell incoherently to no end. They do it for days and days on end. Of course, we can't kill them, so we have to just endure it until they lose their voices or one of our guards loses his patience."
"They're that crazy?" Simon asked.
Eiko nodded. "Yes, and as soon as I heard that you doubled as...mischief-makers, I thought you could all use the job."
"What exactly is the job then, Miss Eiko?" John asked.
"Well, we intercepted a message they were delivering to each other. In the note it says that they are gathering in some area a couple of miles out of town for some kind of meeting tonight. I would like you to go over there, knock as many of 'em out as you can, and get as much information as possible."
Syovar's eyes widened. "But there might be hundreds in the group! We can't fight that many!"
Eiko laughed. "You might not be able to, but you'll be going with someone who can. Not only will Zidaro be going with you, but I'm sending one of the greatest fighters in the universe over with you, and together hopefully you can all get the job done."
"Awww...Miss Eiko?" Pika asked.
"Yes, little one?"
"Can't we do this another day? We just got here, and we wanted to do some sight-seeing today. And besides, if one of us gets hurt, the play might be ruined!" Pika purred.
Eiko nodded knowingly. "I know, but we don't know if the Lunatics are going to be in that area after tonight. And I can't spare a single soldier out, so that's why I'm turning to you all."
Simon raised his hand nervously. "So we'd all be in the fighting?"
The Regent of Lindblum nodded. "I need all the help I can get. All my soldiers are busy preparing for the fair, and I can't afford to send them out of the city limits. So, will you all help me?"
John stepped forward. "Lady Eiko, we would all be honored to help you rid the town of these pests." He said in the most elegant manner he could.
Eiko giggled. "Thank you kindly. Well, I guess you all want to meet who you're going with."
At the moment another door to the room opened and two elderly people walked in, both much older than Eiko. Both were clad in full armor with the Alexandrian crest on them. One, a male, seemed to be sweating and flailed his arms madly when he spoke. The other, a woman with an eye patch, brushed her hair to the side as she talked.
"Beatrix, are you absolutely positive you want to go through with this? You could get hurt!" The man cried.
"Adelbert, I've been married to you for almost 50 years! Don't you have any trust in my abilities?" The woman sighed again.
"Yes, but...You're not as quick as you used to be..."
"Oh, come on, Adelbert. It'll be fine."
The two knights found themselves standing in front of the Regent, her son, and twelve others with their jaws hanging.
"Y...Y...You're..." Avon started, mesmerized.
Eiko laughed. "Neo-Tantalus, I'd like for you to meet Holy Knights Steiner and Beatrix."
"Charmed." Both Steiner and Beatrix said at the exact same moment.
"General Beatrix will be accompanying you to the hideout."
The Alexandrian fighter stepped forward. "Hey, there's a face I recognize. How're you doing, Frederick?"
The red mage blushed and smiled. "Good, ma'am."
Beatrix nodded. "All right, people. I'll make this short and simple. Meet at the city's front gates at eight o'clock tonight. Sound good?"
The members of Neo-Tantalus, still in their trance, nodded dumbly.
"Great!" Zidaro exclaimed.
"Thank you all so much. You are all excused from the Regent's audience." Eiko giggled, loving every time she got to say that.
"Oh, one other thing." Zidaro piped up. "On your way out, stop by the weapons room and take some kind of weapon for the trip."
"We'll do that." Syovar said.
"All righty then, off with you all. Bye!" Eiko called, waving good-bye.
Neo-Tantalus's members shuffled around to the elevator, all one giant life-form that was hypnotized at what they had just seen. Not only had they gotten the honor of meeting the Regent of Lindblum and her son, but they were also traveling on a mission with one of the world's best fighters! They certainly seemed to be charmed.
As soon as the elevator departed, the four remaining people in the room stood by silently. Eiko hopped up to her throne.
"Well, guys, what do you think?" She asked.
"They seem nice enough." Zidaro replied
"I hope that can make a performance up to par with that of Zidane and the original group." Steiner said stiffly.
Eiko nodded. "I'm sure they will. Beatrix, do you think they're good enough to help you?"
Beatrix shrugged. "I suppose. I probably won't need much help anyway."
Her husband got down on his knees. "Beatrix, please reconsider your decision. If something were you to happen to you, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself..."
Beatrix sighed yet again and got Steiner to his feet. "Don't worry, Adelbert. I promise you I'll return, okay?"
With that, the two kissed. Zidaro and Eiko excused themselves from the room, knowing that there must be some Lindblum paperwork to go through somewhere else in the castle.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Is everybody ready?" Beatrix called out.
"Yeah! Yup! Aye!" Called out thirteen voices.
"Alright, good. I'll be manning the chariot, as I know where the interception location is. The rest of you, just relax until I give you the cue."
The group was seated inside a giant chariot being piloted by four chocobos. Beatrix was seated at the front, while the others sat comfortably in the back, each brandishing their new weapon.
"So, Zidaro, how long do you think this 'ere mission'll take?" John asked, wiping his axe with a cloth towel.
"I don't know. It could take five minutes, or it could take all day."
"That'd suck." Avon said, counting his throwing stars he had latched onto his belt.
"I'll say. We've got better things to do than go traipsing around the countryside, looking for a couple of bandits." Ophelia replied as he inspected her dagger.
"Ow!" Pika suddenly cried out.
"What's wrong, lassie?" John asked.
"These claws are sharp!" Pika wailed, touching one of the claws attached to her hands gingerly.
"Hey, you picked those things." Kelvin shrugged, smacking his brass knuckles together calmly.
"Syovar, how can you hold up that huge sword?" Simon asked, his breath taken away at the sight of his ally tossing it around so effortlessly.
"It's not so hard. It just looks heavy." Syovar grinned, eager that he had gotten some attention after all.
"I guess. Still, I don't think I could lift that. I'm happy with my whip." Simon said, patting his long, leather whip that was strapped to his side.
"Master Frederick, if you are not content with your rod, I'd be more than happy to trade weapons with you." Amadeus said, holding out his wooden staff gently.
"No thank you, Amadeus. Metal rods are my favorite weapons. They're both light and effective." Frederick said, twirling the rod around easily.
"I still don't get why you chose a fan, of all things." Marina said to Yrena as she rubbed some dirt off her own spear. Yrena turned to the Burmecian and shrugged her light shoulders.
"What's wrong with a fan? They keep you cool, don't they?"
"Yeah, but they don't exactly hurt people that well." Nikolai chuckled as he tucked his own short sword off to his side.
"Well, maybe I don't want to kill anyone at all. I'm a healer, not a killer, remember?" Yrena snapped back .
Zidaro held out his hand and placed it on her shoulder. "Easy, girl, there will be plenty of time for bloodlust after we track those thieves down." The soft touch of Zidaro calmed Yrena down considerably.
About an hour passed before the entire chariot slammed forwards suddenly, knocking everyone off balance and into the person in front of them. After a few moments of angry cursing and shuffling to get back to their feet, Zidaro darted to the front of the vehicle. After a few tense seconds, he leapt back into the back and unsheathed his halberd.
"All right, guys, this is it. Everyone get their weapons out."
The other twelve obliged and let their weapons loose.
"John, open the back, will you?"
"Sure thing." John kicked the back door open forcefully, and stared out into the open. The sun was just beginning to set, and the darkness was started it nightly loom over the countryside. Neo-Tantalus hopped out of the chariot cautiously, hoping that no thieves were present.
The thirteen gathered together and Beatrix, who had given the chocobos some greens to munch on, walked up to them.
"All right, boys and girls, this is it. You all see that hill over there?" She pointed to a small hill with her sword. "The camp is just beyond that little overpass. The fourteen of us are going to camp out there for about five minutes. If they haven't discovered us by then, than Zidaro and I are going to try and sneak in and knock out the leader."
"What if you can't?" Pika asked nervously.
Zidaro stepped forward. "I've got a special flare attached to my arm. If we're in trouble, I'll send it into the air. Once you see it, you all charge in and begin the fight. This could be the fight of your lives, so be ready for anything."
"Do we know how many there are?" Marina asked.
Beatrix shook her head. "Nay, but my guess is around thirty. So we'll need all of your help. Understood?"
Twelve heads nodded dumbly.
"All right. Let's go."
The group began their march of several hundred yards quietly, each thinking of the different events that could transpire. By the time they reached the edge of the hill, several were already out of breath. They refused to look weak in front of the greatest warrior ever, however, and pushed themselves to climb up the terrain.
After a few minutes of hiking, the group arrived at a small flatland just a few feet below the tip of the hill. Beatrix beckoned for them to be quiet and motioned to Zidaro. They stood while the others crouched down. Beatrix and Zidaro hopped over the cliff and walked silently into the unknown.
Despite their warnings, hardly five seconds passed before Pika, Avon and Nikolai's heads were peering over the hill to see what was going on. Several minutes passed with little fanfare, but soon they could hear shouting in the distance. Instantaneously, a huge red blast of fire went off into the air.
"That's our cue! Come on, everyone!" Avon shouted.
The twelve hopped the hill, and mustered their greatest war cries. As they charged, they saw several crudely made huts strung up, with a slightly larger one in the center of the rest. Figuring that was where Beatrix and Zidaro were, the group let loose their calls and ran towards the center hut. Upon reaching it, they saw that the door was open. John and Syovar burst through, with the others following.
They saw Zidaro and Beatrix on the right side of the hut, their weapons outstretched. To the left were about fifteen filthy thieves of mixed race and gender, each clutching a dagger or knife tightly.
"I don't think I have to tell you again, Rotdon, that we will not hesitate to kill you or your scum friends." Beatrix said calmly.
A hideous laugh erupted from the left. It was coming from a monstrously obese male human in his late twenties. Flies sputtered around his unwashed body, and his loosely thrown together rags were bursting at the seams, trying to support his massively overweight body.
"Do you think I'm scared of an uptight little bitch like you, missy?" He snarled, his mouth revealing rotted stumps for teeth.
Beatrix managed to resist throwing up at the sight, and instead she turned to the members of Neo-Tantalus. "Be warned, young ones. The rest of the Lunatics have probably surrounded this hut as we speak."
Marina, who was closest to the door, whirled around. Indeed, she stood face to face with about twenty equally dirty muggers.
"Are these little shitters the only troops your pathetic kingdom could up with, wench?" Rotdon asked loudly, letting out an enormous laugh and finishing it with a monstrous belch.
"I'll have you know that these are Lindblum's top ranking warriors." Zidaro sneered, doing to best to conceal the lie.
"Izzat so?" Rotdon said, hefting his girth up. "I'll tell you what. If my best man beats your best man, all of us will surrender. If not, we get to plunder from you all and then you leave."
"Agreed. Who will I be facing?" Beatrix asked.
"Ah, ah, ah, girlie! I said, "Man!" You gotta pick one of your little boy-toys over there to fight." Rotdon grinned.
Beatrix groaned. "I see why we threw you out of Lindblum in the first place. All right, guys." She walked over to the troupe. "I'm sorry, but one of you has to fight. Are there any volunteers?"
"I believe I'm the only logical choice." John said, picking up his axe.
"Wait, John! I want to fight." Syovar rushed up.
John stared at his protege with newfound pride. "You sure, laddie? There's a good chance you won't get out of the fight alive."
Syovar nodded. "I know, but if I die, Neo-Tantalus can continue. Without you, it can't."
John nodded. "All right. You luck, boy."
The young man nodded again, lifted his broadsword from its sheath, and stepped forward. "Rotdon! I accept your challenge, and will take on any fighter you choose!"
"Great. Xovonob, do yer stuff." Rotdon laughed.
A huge man, probably nearly seven feet tall, stood up and plucked his weapon, a simple club with a nail in it, off the ground. Syovar stared at his competition for a moment in fear, and realized just what he was up against.
Xovonob charged forward suddenly, and out of instinct Syovar dove to the ground. The giant tripped over Syovar's body and tumbled to the ground. Syovar leaped on his back and plunged his sword into Xovonob's back violently. Blood gushed out of the body as the thief screamed holy terror. The shouting only lasting a few seconds, however, and before long Syovar found himself on top of a corpse.
Beatrix roared with laughter. "That's your best warrior, Rotdon? My boy took him out in five seconds! You're pathetic!"
Rotdon, who did not being insulted, began to tremble with anger. "Boys, tear these little shitbags to pieces!" He roared.
Within a second the hut was overrun with angry soldiers. The hut didn't last long and soon the walls and ceiling tumbled to the ground, revealing a battleground of fourteen fighters against countless others.
Avon and Ophelia, who were standing back-to-back, tried to get to Rotdon, but found a group of five or so thugs instead. Avon plucked a throwing star off his belt and flicked it off instantly. It landed squarely in the chest of one grunt, and he fell dead. Ophelia leaped forward and found valiantly against the remaining ones. She took several nasty gashes on her left arm, but retorted by sticking her dagger into the thug's chest, killing him instantly. The others fled the spectacle, and Avon helped his sister back to the hill, where he tended to her wounds as they watched the fight unfold.
Pika, trying to avoid any conflict, ran in the opposite direction of the fight, but ran straight into a nasty-looking thief. Instinctively, she pulled her claws out and scratched him as hard as she could. Blood poured out of his body and he soon passed out, but Pika was bashed in the head herself by another thug. She fell, unconscious.
Yrena was bouncing around, whacking people with her fan valiantly, using it to stun foes while Marina knocked them out with her menacing spear. Before long, however, her luck ran out, and she was knocked to the ground. After taking several stomps to the head, she passed out. Marina left several scars on the ones hurting Yrena, and after causing them to retreat, the Burmecian mustered the strength to leap back to the hill, with Yrena in her arms.
Rotdon noticed that Zidaro was getting dangerously close to him. He called five soldiers to his seat to make sure nothing happened to him. When he saw them fall before the son of the Regent, he panicked. He picked up a knife off the ground and tossed it to Zidaro. It passed through his right leg, and Zidaro fell.
Simon found it difficult to fight considering his trouble moving around. He found slapping people with his whip useful, but there was little he could to defend himself. Before long a group of thugs had him surrounded and knocked him out with a tough headlock.
Syovar and John were fighting the bulk of the thugs, but were having little luck. Having ten or so thieves overwhelm them was too much, and they vanished amidst a sea of dirty bodies. Several kick to the head brought of them unconscious.
Amadeus, Frederick, Nikolai and Kelvin saw that they were the only remaining members of Neo-Tantalus fighting. With another twenty thieves approaching them, they bravely charged forward, their weapons outstretched. Unfortunately, there were just too many, and before long Amadeus was knocked out. Nikolai was next, getting a nasty blow to his head. Frederick had to call of their charge and carried Amadeus and Nikolai back before they could be killed.
Rotdon stared at the spectacle, pleased. He saw Beatrix standing without an opponent, and stood up.
"Hope you're happy, wench! Your entire group just go annihilated by mine! You're all that's left, and you've got about twenty fighters to face! What have ya got to say about that?"
Beatrix turned to him, glared at his fat body with her one good eye, and clenched her fist.
"Bring it on."
"Charge, men!" Rotdon hollered.
Beatrix saw the avalanche of men come towards her. She lifted her sword, and suddenly leaped into action. She seemed to move through the men, her sword becoming nothing more than an extension of her body. She slashed into the bodies with beautiful grace, and by the time she had moved completely through the crowd, ten more bodies were on the ground.
While the survivors recuperated and caught their breath, Beatrix muttered one word.
"Climhazzard."
A flurry of brilliant lightning bolts struck the thieves, knocking one down each time. There was little the shocked fighters could do but watch their death come. After ten or so seconds, the entire group of thieves lay dead on the ground. She turned to Rotdon, the sole survivor of the once-huge Lindblum Lunatics.
"Ready to surrender, boy?" Beatrix asked.
"Bah! You think I care 'bout these filthy buggers? They were just fodder. Don't worry, witch, we'll meet again." Rotdon pulled a pouch off his extra-long belt, tossed a bit of powder into the air, and within moments a massive flash erupted. When the smoke cleared, Rotdon was gone. Beatrix cursed to herself.
"Damn! I should have known he'd have some kind of magic to bail him out! I should have killed him while I had the chance."
Seeing no point in thinking about a lost cause, she began to pick up the corpses off the ground, loading them into a wheelbarrow she saw. The members of Neo-Tantalus who were conscious were spellbound by her performance. They scrambled to help her.
"That...was amazing, Mrs. Beatrix." Frederick said.
Beatrix winked. "Come on, Frederick, you've seen me do that before."
"To punching bags! Never on real people!"
"That was indeed beautiful, Beatrix." Zidaro said, who had gotten up and was rubbing his leg.
"Maybe, maybe not. What I do know is that we need to collect all these bodies."
"Why?" Avon asked.
"We're going to build a mass grave for them. They may have been pathetic beings, but they were still living creatures. Come on, someone help me out here."
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The ride back to Lindblum was much quieter than the ride from there. Only Beatrix and Zidaro weren't unconscious or sleeping, and the rotting bodies of the thieves in the back didn't help the dispositions of anyone, either.
Zidaro climbed into the front with the Holy Knight about halfway through the journey.
"What was the total body count?" He asked.
"36 bodies. None of the Neo-Tantalus guys were seriously hurt, but there are definitely going to be some scars."
"Will any of them not be able to perform?" Zidaro asked.
Beatrix shrugged. "They should all be okay by tomorrow, though they'll still be some heavy stinging."
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"And that, my dear, was the whole idea behind my plan." Syovar said, grinning ear to ear as he held Yrena in his arms.
"My love, how do you think of such ingenious ideas?" Yrena giggled.
"My dear, I am not of extraordinary intelligence."
"Then what is it, love?"
"Everyone else is of extraordinary idiocy." Syovar grinned.
The entire theater erupted into hysterical bits of laughter as the curtains fell on the couple. A thunderous ovation ensued, and continued for several minutes. The curtains rose again, and the entire cast of Neo-Tantalus stepped out for their final bows.
The loudest claps of all came from the royal booth, where Eiko whistled and cheered with approval. Seated next to her was Zidaro, who was giving more formal forms of appreciation. Beatrix and Steiner also clapped with their approval from the booth.
John, staring at the royal booth, smiled. He knew that if they were giving such enthusiasm, then he must be doing something right. The 10,000 Gil he had pocketed from them didn't hurt his attitude, either.