The Girl Who Cried Human
by Dreadnaught
Princesse Mononoke n'appartient pas à moi.
Prinzessin Mononoke gehört nicht mir.
La principessa Mononoke non appartiene a me.
A princesa Mononoke não me pertence.
Princesa Mononoke no pertenece a mí.
This is NOT a parody of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. You will only get this if you watch alot of movie AND have a weird sense of humor. The kind with wickedness, sarcasm and random ideas one. If you are a game freak/ BOND FAN, you will get some of this faster than others.
CHAPTER TWO
*Meanwhile, somewhere in the east...*
Ashitaka (on a watch tower): A demon Philsberry Dough Guy!! Run Yakkul!
*Yakkul, on the other hand, was too hungry to run. Seeing Dough Guy making him want to poke his belly... then eat him. Suddenly, Ashitaka threw a grenade at him.*
Ashitaka: Get the @#$% outta here!
*Yakkul runs away, the giant Philsberry's attention is directed at the tower. He tips the tower over and Ashitaka and some guy fell on the ground.*
Ashitaka: *whistles* Yakkul!
*Ashitaka gets on Yakkul and was chased by Philsberry.*
Philsberry: Must... kill... Moe... Weeeeee! Must... kill... Moe... Weeeeee!
Ashitaka: Oh great Philsberry! Please leave our village alone and I will advertise your products everywhere!
Philsberry: Arrrrrg, you have already being pre-aproved for a...
*Ashitaka equips his bow with an arrow that's armed with a giant finger. He shoots it at Dough Guy's belly.*
Philsberry: He, he, he, hehehehehe! *explodes*
*The villagers cheers over his victory.*
Some guy: Bring the old dude here!
*Some other guy brings the old dude in front of what was left of pop'n fresh.*
*From out of nowhere "Imperial March" can be heard*
Old Dude: Everythign is proceeding as I have forseen...
Ashitaka *suddenly became athmatic*: *pfftt ssshhh pfffft ssssh* What is thy bidding, my master?
Old Dude: Go to the far side of this world.
Ashitaka: What about the demon god?
Old Dude: It is insignificant. Soon the demon gods will be crushed and the young wolf princess will be one of us. Your work here is finished, my friend. go to the Iron Town and await my orders.
*Ashitaka bows and heads westward toward the Iron Town while throwing a grenade into the middle of the symphony that's playing "Imperial March".*
Some violonist: What the @%$@?
*Kaboom...*
* * * * * * * * * *
*Once again, San is inside a cave with her wolf bothers. She is equiping herself before the infiltration of Iron Town.*
Wolf: What do you need - besides a miracle?
San: Knives, lots of knives.
*Out of nowhere a HUGE stack of knives appeared beside San.*
San: What the... uh... on second thought, I'll just take a lightsaber.
*Mysteriously, she receives a lightsaber from some guy. She turns to one of her wolf brothers.*
San: Mr. Wolf, set course for Iron Town.
Wolf: Aye aye, capt... heeeeey, wait a minute.
San: What?
Wolf: Riding me again?
San: Yup.
*So San rides her favorite brother (that part never comes out right...) towards Iron Town.*
* * * * * * * * * *
*San leaps over the fence of Iron Town. A Guard sees her.*
Guard: *rings bell* Hey! The pizza guy is here! The pizza guy is here!
*San jumps onto the rooftop and starts running towards Eboshi's hut.*
Guard: Hey! Where are you going? Don't let the pizza get cold!
*Eboshi and her bodyguard came out to see what's going on.*
Bodyguard: She's here...
Eboshi: Yes.
Bodyguard: She will deliver on time.
Eboshi: ...
Bodyguard: So what will you have, pepperoni, all dressed or vegeterean?
Eboshi: That's not the pizza guy you @#%$ @#%$! It's the wolf princess!
Bodyguard: You mean the wolf princess is delivering pizza?
Eboshi: *slaps herself on the forehead* ARG! Remind me to fire you... Come on girls.
*A swarm of girls with M-16s, P-90s, AUGs, AK-47s and MP5Ks in their hands walks out. Meanwhile, San is preparing to sprint towards Eboshi and kill her.*
Eboshi: San, if you seek revenge over me for killing one of your brothers, there are some people here who wants to avenge their husbands...
Some Girl: The bomb has been planted.
Eboshi: *pauses* and I shall gladly kill you with...
Some Girl: Hostage down!
Eboshi: *pauses and looks around* Anyway, and I shall gladly...
Some Girl: Can you all stop for a sec? I'm having a lag spike.
Eboshi: Okee... That was certainly awkward...
*San charges towards Eboshi with the lightsaber in her hands. She ignites it and took a swing at Eboshi. Eboshi took a lightsaber of her own which was hidden under her coat and activates it. San was pushed slowly towards a cliff, while Eboshi swings a frenzied attack, which missed everytime, at San.*
Eboshi: San, Moro never told you what happened to your father...
San: She told me enough! *backs away* She told me you killed him.
Moro: *from far away* No I didn't...
Eboshi: No, San, I am your father!
San: ... uh... how the hell?
Eboshi: Simple, I am also your second cousin's bother's teacher's cousin's sister's second cousin's brother-in-law's roomate!
San: Noooooo! That's not true! That's impossible!
Eboshi: Search your feelings, San, you know it to be true.
*San looks down the cliff, back away even more and prepares to jump...*
Eboshi: San, join the humans, and together we shall rule the world as mother and daughter.
San: The world is not enough.
Eboshi: Fooliesh statement.
San: Clan motto.
*San looked back, and was about to jump down the cliff when -*
Ashitaka: *presses the doorbell* Ding-dong!
Ok, I'm tired so I'll just stop for now... Chapter 3 coming real soon!
by Dreadnaught
Princesse Mononoke n'appartient pas à moi.
Prinzessin Mononoke gehört nicht mir.
La principessa Mononoke non appartiene a me.
A princesa Mononoke não me pertence.
Princesa Mononoke no pertenece a mí.
This is NOT a parody of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. You will only get this if you watch alot of movie AND have a weird sense of humor. The kind with wickedness, sarcasm and random ideas one. If you are a game freak/ BOND FAN, you will get some of this faster than others.
CHAPTER TWO
*Meanwhile, somewhere in the east...*
Ashitaka (on a watch tower): A demon Philsberry Dough Guy!! Run Yakkul!
*Yakkul, on the other hand, was too hungry to run. Seeing Dough Guy making him want to poke his belly... then eat him. Suddenly, Ashitaka threw a grenade at him.*
Ashitaka: Get the @#$% outta here!
*Yakkul runs away, the giant Philsberry's attention is directed at the tower. He tips the tower over and Ashitaka and some guy fell on the ground.*
Ashitaka: *whistles* Yakkul!
*Ashitaka gets on Yakkul and was chased by Philsberry.*
Philsberry: Must... kill... Moe... Weeeeee! Must... kill... Moe... Weeeeee!
Ashitaka: Oh great Philsberry! Please leave our village alone and I will advertise your products everywhere!
Philsberry: Arrrrrg, you have already being pre-aproved for a...
*Ashitaka equips his bow with an arrow that's armed with a giant finger. He shoots it at Dough Guy's belly.*
Philsberry: He, he, he, hehehehehe! *explodes*
*The villagers cheers over his victory.*
Some guy: Bring the old dude here!
*Some other guy brings the old dude in front of what was left of pop'n fresh.*
*From out of nowhere "Imperial March" can be heard*
Old Dude: Everythign is proceeding as I have forseen...
Ashitaka *suddenly became athmatic*: *pfftt ssshhh pfffft ssssh* What is thy bidding, my master?
Old Dude: Go to the far side of this world.
Ashitaka: What about the demon god?
Old Dude: It is insignificant. Soon the demon gods will be crushed and the young wolf princess will be one of us. Your work here is finished, my friend. go to the Iron Town and await my orders.
*Ashitaka bows and heads westward toward the Iron Town while throwing a grenade into the middle of the symphony that's playing "Imperial March".*
Some violonist: What the @%$@?
*Kaboom...*
* * * * * * * * * *
*Once again, San is inside a cave with her wolf bothers. She is equiping herself before the infiltration of Iron Town.*
Wolf: What do you need - besides a miracle?
San: Knives, lots of knives.
*Out of nowhere a HUGE stack of knives appeared beside San.*
San: What the... uh... on second thought, I'll just take a lightsaber.
*Mysteriously, she receives a lightsaber from some guy. She turns to one of her wolf brothers.*
San: Mr. Wolf, set course for Iron Town.
Wolf: Aye aye, capt... heeeeey, wait a minute.
San: What?
Wolf: Riding me again?
San: Yup.
*So San rides her favorite brother (that part never comes out right...) towards Iron Town.*
* * * * * * * * * *
*San leaps over the fence of Iron Town. A Guard sees her.*
Guard: *rings bell* Hey! The pizza guy is here! The pizza guy is here!
*San jumps onto the rooftop and starts running towards Eboshi's hut.*
Guard: Hey! Where are you going? Don't let the pizza get cold!
*Eboshi and her bodyguard came out to see what's going on.*
Bodyguard: She's here...
Eboshi: Yes.
Bodyguard: She will deliver on time.
Eboshi: ...
Bodyguard: So what will you have, pepperoni, all dressed or vegeterean?
Eboshi: That's not the pizza guy you @#%$ @#%$! It's the wolf princess!
Bodyguard: You mean the wolf princess is delivering pizza?
Eboshi: *slaps herself on the forehead* ARG! Remind me to fire you... Come on girls.
*A swarm of girls with M-16s, P-90s, AUGs, AK-47s and MP5Ks in their hands walks out. Meanwhile, San is preparing to sprint towards Eboshi and kill her.*
Eboshi: San, if you seek revenge over me for killing one of your brothers, there are some people here who wants to avenge their husbands...
Some Girl: The bomb has been planted.
Eboshi: *pauses* and I shall gladly kill you with...
Some Girl: Hostage down!
Eboshi: *pauses and looks around* Anyway, and I shall gladly...
Some Girl: Can you all stop for a sec? I'm having a lag spike.
Eboshi: Okee... That was certainly awkward...
*San charges towards Eboshi with the lightsaber in her hands. She ignites it and took a swing at Eboshi. Eboshi took a lightsaber of her own which was hidden under her coat and activates it. San was pushed slowly towards a cliff, while Eboshi swings a frenzied attack, which missed everytime, at San.*
Eboshi: San, Moro never told you what happened to your father...
San: She told me enough! *backs away* She told me you killed him.
Moro: *from far away* No I didn't...
Eboshi: No, San, I am your father!
San: ... uh... how the hell?
Eboshi: Simple, I am also your second cousin's bother's teacher's cousin's sister's second cousin's brother-in-law's roomate!
San: Noooooo! That's not true! That's impossible!
Eboshi: Search your feelings, San, you know it to be true.
*San looks down the cliff, back away even more and prepares to jump...*
Eboshi: San, join the humans, and together we shall rule the world as mother and daughter.
San: The world is not enough.
Eboshi: Fooliesh statement.
San: Clan motto.
*San looked back, and was about to jump down the cliff when -*
Ashitaka: *presses the doorbell* Ding-dong!
Ok, I'm tired so I'll just stop for now... Chapter 3 coming real soon!