The large teen group walked in Kelly's and commandeered two tables for
themselves. They waved over a waitress and started to give their orders.
Maxie rubbed her eyes wearily and thought, "Thank goodness we're here
finally." She had thought they would never get there.
She had been dragged all over Port Charles as Tommy and Lucas tried to
outdo each other pointing out the few points of interest. Right now they
were flirting outrageously with that Melinda girl. Maxie was just glad
that she was no longer the object of Tommy Hardy's affections. At least
that girl looked semi-interested in him. But then again she was also giving
Lucas the same looks. Maxie hoped she didn't have to say something. She
didn't want her cousin getting his heart broke by some tongue ring
flashing, gum popping, English mystery chick. However Lucas could take care
of himself…
She glanced around the small diner, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lucky.
She spotted him by the kitchen talking animatedly to Samantha. Looks like
their having a fight, she thought as she watched them. A slow wicked smile
spread across her face. I hope so.
Just then Samantha threw her hands up in the air, shouted "Fine!", and
stormed out the Kelly's. As she went past Maxie's table Maxie had to put
her head down to hide her grin. After she was sure she was gone, Maxie
quickly ran a hand through her long black hair, pasted a concern smile on
her face and rose from her seat. "I'll be right back." She told her
sister.
Georgie distractedly waved her hand in reply. "Yeah, what ever." She was
more interested in learning more about tongue rings. It would be so cool
if she could get one and hide it from her parents. "So did it really hurt?"
She asked Melinda. "I mean like excruciating pain or what?"
The tall girl quickly walked over to where Lucky stood. He looked so sad,
Maxie thought. I'll take care of that. "Hi Lucky." She said cheerfully.
"Maxie, hey." Lucky answered distractedly. His thoughts were still on his
conversation with Samantha. "You not grounded anymore? Or did you sneak
out again?"
"Nope." Maxie said proudly. "No more grounding for me but I can only go
out when I'm accompanying the troll over there." She jerked her thumb in
the direction of Georgie. "My mom's one sick and twisted individual."
"That's uh, that's good." Lucky replied, obviously not paying attention to
her. He looked around. He was going to do something before Samantha came
in but what?
"So uh, Lucky, I'm not wearing a lot of make up anymore." She waited for
him to respond. He never did. "Lucky? Lucky!" She snapped her fingers as
she tried to get his attention.
"What?" Lucky looked up as if he was surprised that she was there. "Huh?"
"I said, I'm not wearing make up anymore." She resisted the urge to roll
her eyes.
Lucky looked at her closely. She's right, she's not wearing any make up at
all. Her face had a fresh scrubbed look to it. Suddenly he remembered his
conversation with Nikolas: "You don't like a lot of make-up, I bet you
anything that the next time you see her, she won't be wearing so much as a
light lip gloss…Lucky, the girl's got a crush and she's got it bad."
Lucky narrowed his eyes as he studied her. Was Nikolas right? Did Maxie
Jones have a crush on him? He hadn't wanted to believe but now…
"I was thinking of dying my hair blond again? Cause this black was cute
for awhile, you know, while I was going through my little rebellious stage
but it's time to get serious and grow up. Right?" Maxie tossed back her
hair and glanced at him expectedly. "My mom said I'd be so cute if I went
back to my real hair color. But I'm not sure…"
Lucky nodded. "Yeah, you'd be a lot prettier if you went back to your
original hair color." He watched as she started to glow in response.
Uh-oh, she did have a crush on him and he wasn't helping matters.
"You think so?" Maxie tried to halt the grin that was threatening to take
over her face. Time to get the dirt. "So…I saw you and your girlfriend.
Looked like you guys were fighting, something wrong?"
Lucky shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Aw, come on Lucky. You can tell me." Maxie pushed. "We're friends
right?" Lucky reluctantly nodded. "And friends tell each other their
problems. So tell me yours."
Lucky shrugged. What could it hurt? "Samantha and I…had a little
disagreement. She just got news that she's been accepted into this Study
Abroad program she's been trying to get into for a while now. She's
supposed to leave for Spain right after Thanksgiving."
"Aw poor Lucky." Maxie tried to sound as sympathetic as she could but on
the inside she was laughing with glee. Samantha's leaving, yes! She wished
she were alone so she could break out into her happy dance.
"Yeah, poor me. I told her I'd wait for her. It's only for a few months but
she wants me to go with her."
"You're going?" Maxie asked shocked. Lucky can't leave! "You're leaving
Port Charles?"
"I'm not. That's what we were…disagreeing about. She wants me to up and
leave Port Charles and go off to Spain with her. A few years ago I would
have but I can't do that now. I have too many responsibilities here. I
have Kelly's to run and take care of, all my family's here; I'm trying to
get my music thing with L&B Records going…" He shook his head. "My roots
are too deep for me to just take off. And what am I supposed to do in Spain
while she's going to school?"
Maxie shrugged. This was so cool. This was the first time she's ever
talked to Lucky about personal stuff. Well, his personal stuff anyway. He's
opening up to me. Wow. "So that's why she looked so upset?"
"Yeah, I told her I couldn't go and she left. I don't know what I'm going
to do." Lucky was still confused but he felt better that he got it all
out.
He smiled and ruffled Maxie's head. "Thanks for listening, kid. You're a
good listener." He hoped she'd noticed his use of the word 'kid' to
describe her.
Maxie didn't even noticed. She just beamed. "Anytime, Lucky, anytime."
~*~*~
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Rejection, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Rejection, love without doubt
Emily stepped out of the steamy shower stall and wrapped a large fluffy
bath towel around her. She reached over and wiped the steam away from the
mirror. She stared blankly at her reflection.
"You're crazy, you know that? Seriously, beyond a doubt loco. What are you
doing here? Why haven't you said anything yet? To Sly? To Elizabeth?"
Her reflection just stared back at her. Emily sighed and rubbed at her
tired face. She looked and felt horrible. Keeping this secret was killing
her. She picked up a smaller towel and wrapped it around her hair, turban
style, grateful for the small distraction from her thoughts.
After leaving Kelly's earlier she had Sly drop her and her stuff off at the
apartment. Elizabeth had called and said she'd be out late and not to wait
up. Emily became wired right after that. Emily was hoping she could talk to
Elizabeth tonight and now she had to wait another day.
Then there was the question of how to address the situation. And what are
you going to say? A nagging little voice in her head asked her. Something
like:
"Hey Elizabeth, you know how you turned down Nikolas' proposal? Well that
night he and I got punch drunk and fell into bed with each other. Nothing
really happened unless you count us making love all night long as something
happening. I won't even mention the fact that it was outstanding, that it
was something that I'd never thought I'd ever experience with Nikolas
Cassadine, something I thought I'd only fantasize about…So I'm just want to
say I'm sorry and I'll never do it again… But you never know, life's funny
that way. Could you please forgive me?"
Oh yeah, that'd go over big, the voice had snorted.
So she decided to jump in the shower and see if she could wash her troubles
away. Nice idea, too bad it didn't work. Emily scowled at her
reflection. Just then she heard the doorbell ring. It's probably
Elizabeth. She had a habit of forgetting her keys. Emily was always getting
her on that.
Emily walked out of the bathroom and headed for the front door. The towel
on her head wobbled a little and she put her hand up to hold it in place.
"You're lucky I'm here otherwise you'd be locked out." She started to say
as she pulled open the door. "How many times has that happened…"
Nikolas stood with one arm braced against the doorjamb. A slow smile came
over him and his eyes lit up. "Emily…."
I don't, don't care if it's not right
To have your arms around me
I want to feel what it's like
Take all of you inside of me
"Nikolas!" She gasped. Her towel wobbled forward again and she started to
put her hand up until she remembered that she was only wearing a towel.
She clenched the large towel with one hand and gasped again. "Nikolas!
What…what are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." His eyes softened as he drank in the sight of her.
"Hi…" He reached out and trailed one finger down her shoulder.
Emily shivered and backed away. She couldn't let him touch her. "I, uh…you
can't be here."
"Why? Are Sly and Elizabeth here?" Nikolas lost the smile as she looked
over her shoulder into the apartment.
"No. Sly's got some stuff to do at his place and Elizabeth's going to be
out late." Emily shook her head and immediately regretted it when Nikolas
started to smile again. Why did I just tell him all that?
"Good, then we're all alone." Nikolas walked past her. "I want to talk to
you about…we need to talk."
"Could I just put on a robe or something?" Emily quickly said as she tried
to escape to her room. Nikolas grabbing her by her arm stopped her. She
turned her head to look at him and her towel slipped off her head. "What?"
She trembled at his touch.
"No, this is…this is fine." He said. His ran his hand through her wet hair
and then cupped the side of her face. He looked into her eyes and silently
urged to reveal what she was feeling.
"Nikolas…don't." Emily closed her eyes and tried to turn her head. She
didn't want to see the look in his eyes that she was reflected in hers.
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
Nikolas caressed her cheek and murmured. "Did you miss me these past couple
of days? You were all I could think about, all I could dream about. I
missed you…as my friend…as more…"
She swallowed hard. "I don't think we can be friends anymore." Her voice
was heartbreakingly soft. "Not after what we did."
"We did nothing wrong." Nikolas insisted.
Emily gaped at him. "What? I cheated on Sly, Nikolas. I cheated on the man
I love. And it was a disgusting drunken one night stand."
His eyes hardened. "If you were so in love with Sly you wouldn't have slept
with me drunk or not all right. So it wasn't just some drunken one-night
stand. Damn it, why won't you just admit it yourself that you feel
something for me Emily, something other than friendship."
Emily shook herself free from his grip and turned the tables on him. "What
about Elizabeth? Huh? Weren't you supposedly in love with her too? Wasn't
that why you were drowning yourself in booze? Why you called me and begged
me to come over?"
"I can honestly admit to you that maybe I wasn't as in love with her as I
thought. If I was there was no way that night would have happened. You
know that."
"And you realized that when? The morning after or during it or did you
just stumble across it this morning?" She shook her head. "Never mind. I
don't even want to know, the thing is I love Sly, okay."
"Yeah, you keep saying that." He mumbled.
Emily continued on. "And I'm not going to hurt my friend because you think
you don't love her and you think you want to be with me."
"I do want to be with you." Nikolas said. "And you want that too. If you
keep on denying it then it's just going to hurt everyone more."
"I—I can't do this now." Emily shook her head. "I'm going to get dress
and when I come back out, please be gone." Emily started to walk away but
Nikolas grabbed her by the arm and whirled her around to face him.
I know that you're no good for me
That's why I feel I must confess
What's wrong is why it feels so right
I want to feel your sweet caress
"Don't walk away from me, don't walk away from this." Nikolas held her
face between his hands, holding her still. "Look me in the eye and tell me
that you don't feel this. Tell me!"
"I don't…" Emily looked away and bit her lip. She tried again. "I
don't…damn you." She swore softly.
Nikolas took this as a yes and his lips slowly descended towards hers.
Emily brought her hands up and wove them into his hair. She knew she was
going to regret this later but right now she couldn't stop herself.
This is wrong Emily, the voice in her head said. Stop this right now. Shut
up was the only answer she could give. Shut up and let me enjoy this. She
moaned in the back of her throat as Nikolas reached down and slowly peeled
her towel away. It dropped at their feet and Emily kicked it back.
Nikolas slightly raised his lips from hers. "No one's going to be here for
a while, right?" His breath whispered across her lips. He lazily ran his
hands up and down her sides.
A twinge of pain crept into Emily's desire filled eyes. She nodded her
head. "El—Elizabeth's going to be out all day and night…" She swallowed.
"Good…" Nikolas reached for her hand. Emily readily let him take it and
lead her into her bedroom.
~*~*~
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
Emily lay on her back staring at her ceiling. Did I just do this? Did I
really just do this? She asked herself.
Yeah, you did it again, the voice answered, and this time you did it in
Elizabeth's home, in the bed you share with Sly. And it seemed like you
enjoyed it a helluva lot! Aren't you proud of yourself?
"Leave me alone." She muttered.
"Hmm?" Nikolas murmured. He lay next to her propped up on his elbow. He
was playing with a strand of her hair. "Did you say something?"
Emily shook her head. "No, I uh…. No."
"So are you ever going to talk to me then?" Nikolas asked. She had been
laying there quietly for a long time now. If it weren't for her wide-eyed
stare at the ceiling, he would have thought she was asleep.
"Oh, I just…I can't believe I did this…that we did this." Emily frowned.
Nikolas grinned wickedly. "Oh, I can." He dropped the hair and walked his
fingers across her stomach. "That hickey I gave you is gone, how about I
give you another one…some place special?"
"No." Emily pushed his hand away and sat up. She drew her knees up to her
chin. "This was…this was wrong."
"Emily, are you really going to this guilt thing every time we make love?"
Nikolas asked quietly from behind her. He didn't like the way her thoughts
were going.
"We didn't make love, we had…sex!" Emily spat out the word harshly. "And
we aren't going to do this again, ever!"
Nikolas trailed his fingers along the small of her back. "Call it whatever
you want but don't try to fool yourself. I can't stay away from you and
you can't stay away from me." He leaned over and softly kissed where his
fingers had been. Emily fought hard to keep from reacting. She lost her
battle as his kiss sent a tingle through her.
If I only had one wish
Love would always feel like this
Wishin' on the stars above
Forbidden love
If I only had one dream
This would be more than it seems
Forbidden love (forbidden love)
"Where were you 6 years ago?" Emily asked suddenly.
"What do you mean? I was right here."
"No, I mean the Nikolas you are right now. Why weren't you him six years
ago? The Nikolas from six years ago wouldn't have dreamed of us being like
this right now."
"The Nikolas six years ago was a blind fool." Nikolas sat up behind her
and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her.
"I loved that blind fool. At least I thought I did." Emily said softly.
"But then I moved on, I grew up. Sly became the love of my live. I grew
up."
Nikolas hated hearing her refer to Sly as the love of her life while she
was in his arms. He closed his eyes. "I think we both had a little growing
up to do. We couldn't be what we are now six years ago."
"But what are we?" Emily asked sadly.
He wished he could give her a simple answer. "We're two people, two
friends, who have just become lovers."
She rejected his answer. "No, what we are, are two people who happen to be
hurting people we care about. Two people who should just stop what they're
doing now and never let it happen again. Maybe we shouldn't say anything
after all."
She could feel Nikolas shake his head. "No, you were right, the truth is
going to come out and the longer we keep quiet about it, the worse the
fallout's going to be when it does come out."
Emily covered her face with her hands. "How am I going to tell Elizabeth
and Sly? He's going to hate me. I spent a big part of my life with him and
what do I do? I betrayed him."
"Will you stop beating yourself up over this? You say you love Sly but if
you really did you wouldn't be in this bed with me right now. Emily, you
aren't like that and you know it. You aren't the type to have sex with
someone while you're in love with another person."
She laughed bitterly. "Guess what, now you're seeing a whole new Emily, an
Emily who does that sort of thing. Like what you see? Cause I sure as hell
don't."
"Emily…don't." Nikolas grasped her chin and turned her face towards his.
He tenderly brushed his lips across hers. "How long do we have before
Elizabeth gets home?"
Emily squeezed her eyes shut. "A lot of time. Like I said, she won't be
back until later tonight."
And aren't you so happy about that? More time for you to betray your fiancé
and best friend. That voice was really beginning to annoy her.
(Love without guilt, love without doubt)
(Love without guilt, love without doubt)
Rejection (Love without doubt)
Is the greatest aphrodisiac
Nikolas rubbed her arms. "Okay…come here." He started to lean back.
"Nikolas, really, I don't think so…" Emily weakly protested as she followed
his lead. She just couldn't resist him and that was killing her. She
thought she was stronger than that.
"Shh." He cuddled her in his arms. "I just want to hold you for a little
while."
Emily nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder. "When are we going
to tell them?"
"I don't want to talk about that right now." Nikolas objected. He already
knew that just lying together, holding her in his arms was going to be a
rare occurrence and he didn't want to ruin the moment.
"I need to know." Emily insisted.
He sighed and racked his brains for a date. "Uh, how about after
Thanksgiving? Might as well have one happy holiday first."
"Next week?" Emily whispered. "So soon?"
"Yeah…" A shrill ringing filled the room. Emily sat up. "What was that?"
"Must be my phone, hold on." Nikolas got out the bed and casually walked
over to where his jacket was. He rummaged through the pockets for a second
before finding his cell. "Cassadine."
Emily swung her legs off the bed and went to her closet for her robe. She
shrugged into it as she listened to Nikolas' end of the conversation.
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
"What happened? They weren't sent…okay, okay, do I really I need to come
in for this…yes, I'll be…" Nikolas looked up Emily. She stood with her back
to him, gazing out the window. "I'll be there soon."
Nikolas grabbed his pants. He spoke to her back as he stepped into them.
"Emily? I have to—"
"You have to go. I heard." Emily folded her arms. "I'll uh, I'll see you
around I guess."
He zipped up and snapped the button before walking over to Emily. He
placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her neck. "You will be seeing
me soon."
Emily didn't even have guess at what he meant by that. She bent her head
and looked down at her feet. "Nikolas, we shouldn't…"
"Yeah but we will." He turned her around to face him. He smoothed back the
hair from her forehead and kissed her slowly. "We will. I want to see you
again, soon."
"We can't keep doing this here." Emily objected quickly. "Sly or Elizabeth
could—"
Nikolas nodded knowingly. "I know that. We could go someplace else. What
about Wyndemere? We could go riding or having a picnic or something. It
could be fun." He smiled crookedly.
"I don't know about that." Emily frowned. "I don't know about this whole
thing."
"It will be fun." Nikolas stated confidently. "I have to go but I will
call you, okay?" He quickly moved away and dressed, not waiting for her
answer. "Walk me out." He held out his hand to her and she took it.
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
They walked in silence. Nikolas opened the front door and turned to Emily.
He smiled regretfully at Emily. "I really wish I didn't have to go."
He cupped her face and tenderly kissed her. Emily couldn't stop herself
from slowly wrapping her arms around his neck and returning the kiss. He
broke away and grinned.
"Now I really wished I didn't have to go." Emily silently echoed his
sentiments. He moved his hands down to her neck. His thumbs lightly stroked
her face. Emily reached up and placed her hand over his. He leaned in and
kissed her again before whispering goodbye and walking out.
Emily closed the door behind him and leaned her head against it. She
pressed her hand to her lips. "What am I doing? What's wrong with me?" She
murmured out loud.
You are a fool. You're destroying a good relationship for what? Sex? Oh
yeah, what all lasting relationships are based on, the voice snorted.
"Shut up! I already know that I'm a horrible person, okay?" Emily cried
out.
Yeah you are. Plus you're a coward.
"And I'm arguing with a voice in my head who keeps insulting me! I'm
certifiable." Emily muttered. She quickly headed for the shower, hoping
the water would drown out her conscience.
(Love without guilt, love without doubt)
Love should always feel like this
Heaven forgive me, never forbid me
Love should always feel like this…
~*~*~
There was a slight commotion outside of Stefan's office. He listened
attentively to the conversation going on outside his door.
"Please miss…let me at least announce you. Mister Cassadine doesn't like
unannounced guests." Mrs. Landsbury's voice came through the door.
"Well he's going to love me!" Snapped an angry female voice. She continued
on sarcastically. "Besides, haven't you heard? I'm *family*."
Carly opened the door and stormed past an upset Mrs. Landsbury. "I'm so
sorry, Mister Cassadine. She wouldn't—"
Stefan waved her concerns. "It's all right Mrs. Landsbury."
Carly flopped down into the chair in front of the large desk. She propped
her feet up on his desk. "Hiya, *Pops*." She snarled.
Stefan stared at her quietly for a few moments before calmly rising from
his seat and walking around the desk. He casually leaned against it and
slowly folded his arms. "Caroline." He slightly nodded.
"Wrong, the name is Carly. Only people I like or hate get to call me
Caroline. You, I have no feelings for whatsoever. So ix-nay on the
Caroline business." Carly corrected. She made a show of checking her
watch. "You have exactly five minutes to explain why you never once came
for me, never once thought to rescue me from the Bensons…Daddy dearest. Get
started because the clock is ticking."
*Song credit* "Forbidden Love" by Madonna (from Bedtime Stories)
themselves. They waved over a waitress and started to give their orders.
Maxie rubbed her eyes wearily and thought, "Thank goodness we're here
finally." She had thought they would never get there.
She had been dragged all over Port Charles as Tommy and Lucas tried to
outdo each other pointing out the few points of interest. Right now they
were flirting outrageously with that Melinda girl. Maxie was just glad
that she was no longer the object of Tommy Hardy's affections. At least
that girl looked semi-interested in him. But then again she was also giving
Lucas the same looks. Maxie hoped she didn't have to say something. She
didn't want her cousin getting his heart broke by some tongue ring
flashing, gum popping, English mystery chick. However Lucas could take care
of himself…
She glanced around the small diner, hoping to catch a glimpse of Lucky.
She spotted him by the kitchen talking animatedly to Samantha. Looks like
their having a fight, she thought as she watched them. A slow wicked smile
spread across her face. I hope so.
Just then Samantha threw her hands up in the air, shouted "Fine!", and
stormed out the Kelly's. As she went past Maxie's table Maxie had to put
her head down to hide her grin. After she was sure she was gone, Maxie
quickly ran a hand through her long black hair, pasted a concern smile on
her face and rose from her seat. "I'll be right back." She told her
sister.
Georgie distractedly waved her hand in reply. "Yeah, what ever." She was
more interested in learning more about tongue rings. It would be so cool
if she could get one and hide it from her parents. "So did it really hurt?"
She asked Melinda. "I mean like excruciating pain or what?"
The tall girl quickly walked over to where Lucky stood. He looked so sad,
Maxie thought. I'll take care of that. "Hi Lucky." She said cheerfully.
"Maxie, hey." Lucky answered distractedly. His thoughts were still on his
conversation with Samantha. "You not grounded anymore? Or did you sneak
out again?"
"Nope." Maxie said proudly. "No more grounding for me but I can only go
out when I'm accompanying the troll over there." She jerked her thumb in
the direction of Georgie. "My mom's one sick and twisted individual."
"That's uh, that's good." Lucky replied, obviously not paying attention to
her. He looked around. He was going to do something before Samantha came
in but what?
"So uh, Lucky, I'm not wearing a lot of make up anymore." She waited for
him to respond. He never did. "Lucky? Lucky!" She snapped her fingers as
she tried to get his attention.
"What?" Lucky looked up as if he was surprised that she was there. "Huh?"
"I said, I'm not wearing make up anymore." She resisted the urge to roll
her eyes.
Lucky looked at her closely. She's right, she's not wearing any make up at
all. Her face had a fresh scrubbed look to it. Suddenly he remembered his
conversation with Nikolas: "You don't like a lot of make-up, I bet you
anything that the next time you see her, she won't be wearing so much as a
light lip gloss…Lucky, the girl's got a crush and she's got it bad."
Lucky narrowed his eyes as he studied her. Was Nikolas right? Did Maxie
Jones have a crush on him? He hadn't wanted to believe but now…
"I was thinking of dying my hair blond again? Cause this black was cute
for awhile, you know, while I was going through my little rebellious stage
but it's time to get serious and grow up. Right?" Maxie tossed back her
hair and glanced at him expectedly. "My mom said I'd be so cute if I went
back to my real hair color. But I'm not sure…"
Lucky nodded. "Yeah, you'd be a lot prettier if you went back to your
original hair color." He watched as she started to glow in response.
Uh-oh, she did have a crush on him and he wasn't helping matters.
"You think so?" Maxie tried to halt the grin that was threatening to take
over her face. Time to get the dirt. "So…I saw you and your girlfriend.
Looked like you guys were fighting, something wrong?"
Lucky shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."
"Aw, come on Lucky. You can tell me." Maxie pushed. "We're friends
right?" Lucky reluctantly nodded. "And friends tell each other their
problems. So tell me yours."
Lucky shrugged. What could it hurt? "Samantha and I…had a little
disagreement. She just got news that she's been accepted into this Study
Abroad program she's been trying to get into for a while now. She's
supposed to leave for Spain right after Thanksgiving."
"Aw poor Lucky." Maxie tried to sound as sympathetic as she could but on
the inside she was laughing with glee. Samantha's leaving, yes! She wished
she were alone so she could break out into her happy dance.
"Yeah, poor me. I told her I'd wait for her. It's only for a few months but
she wants me to go with her."
"You're going?" Maxie asked shocked. Lucky can't leave! "You're leaving
Port Charles?"
"I'm not. That's what we were…disagreeing about. She wants me to up and
leave Port Charles and go off to Spain with her. A few years ago I would
have but I can't do that now. I have too many responsibilities here. I
have Kelly's to run and take care of, all my family's here; I'm trying to
get my music thing with L&B Records going…" He shook his head. "My roots
are too deep for me to just take off. And what am I supposed to do in Spain
while she's going to school?"
Maxie shrugged. This was so cool. This was the first time she's ever
talked to Lucky about personal stuff. Well, his personal stuff anyway. He's
opening up to me. Wow. "So that's why she looked so upset?"
"Yeah, I told her I couldn't go and she left. I don't know what I'm going
to do." Lucky was still confused but he felt better that he got it all
out.
He smiled and ruffled Maxie's head. "Thanks for listening, kid. You're a
good listener." He hoped she'd noticed his use of the word 'kid' to
describe her.
Maxie didn't even noticed. She just beamed. "Anytime, Lucky, anytime."
~*~*~
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Rejection, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Love without guilt, love without doubt
Rejection, love without doubt
Emily stepped out of the steamy shower stall and wrapped a large fluffy
bath towel around her. She reached over and wiped the steam away from the
mirror. She stared blankly at her reflection.
"You're crazy, you know that? Seriously, beyond a doubt loco. What are you
doing here? Why haven't you said anything yet? To Sly? To Elizabeth?"
Her reflection just stared back at her. Emily sighed and rubbed at her
tired face. She looked and felt horrible. Keeping this secret was killing
her. She picked up a smaller towel and wrapped it around her hair, turban
style, grateful for the small distraction from her thoughts.
After leaving Kelly's earlier she had Sly drop her and her stuff off at the
apartment. Elizabeth had called and said she'd be out late and not to wait
up. Emily became wired right after that. Emily was hoping she could talk to
Elizabeth tonight and now she had to wait another day.
Then there was the question of how to address the situation. And what are
you going to say? A nagging little voice in her head asked her. Something
like:
"Hey Elizabeth, you know how you turned down Nikolas' proposal? Well that
night he and I got punch drunk and fell into bed with each other. Nothing
really happened unless you count us making love all night long as something
happening. I won't even mention the fact that it was outstanding, that it
was something that I'd never thought I'd ever experience with Nikolas
Cassadine, something I thought I'd only fantasize about…So I'm just want to
say I'm sorry and I'll never do it again… But you never know, life's funny
that way. Could you please forgive me?"
Oh yeah, that'd go over big, the voice had snorted.
So she decided to jump in the shower and see if she could wash her troubles
away. Nice idea, too bad it didn't work. Emily scowled at her
reflection. Just then she heard the doorbell ring. It's probably
Elizabeth. She had a habit of forgetting her keys. Emily was always getting
her on that.
Emily walked out of the bathroom and headed for the front door. The towel
on her head wobbled a little and she put her hand up to hold it in place.
"You're lucky I'm here otherwise you'd be locked out." She started to say
as she pulled open the door. "How many times has that happened…"
Nikolas stood with one arm braced against the doorjamb. A slow smile came
over him and his eyes lit up. "Emily…."
I don't, don't care if it's not right
To have your arms around me
I want to feel what it's like
Take all of you inside of me
"Nikolas!" She gasped. Her towel wobbled forward again and she started to
put her hand up until she remembered that she was only wearing a towel.
She clenched the large towel with one hand and gasped again. "Nikolas!
What…what are you doing here?"
"I came to see you." His eyes softened as he drank in the sight of her.
"Hi…" He reached out and trailed one finger down her shoulder.
Emily shivered and backed away. She couldn't let him touch her. "I, uh…you
can't be here."
"Why? Are Sly and Elizabeth here?" Nikolas lost the smile as she looked
over her shoulder into the apartment.
"No. Sly's got some stuff to do at his place and Elizabeth's going to be
out late." Emily shook her head and immediately regretted it when Nikolas
started to smile again. Why did I just tell him all that?
"Good, then we're all alone." Nikolas walked past her. "I want to talk to
you about…we need to talk."
"Could I just put on a robe or something?" Emily quickly said as she tried
to escape to her room. Nikolas grabbing her by her arm stopped her. She
turned her head to look at him and her towel slipped off her head. "What?"
She trembled at his touch.
"No, this is…this is fine." He said. His ran his hand through her wet hair
and then cupped the side of her face. He looked into her eyes and silently
urged to reveal what she was feeling.
"Nikolas…don't." Emily closed her eyes and tried to turn her head. She
didn't want to see the look in his eyes that she was reflected in hers.
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
Nikolas caressed her cheek and murmured. "Did you miss me these past couple
of days? You were all I could think about, all I could dream about. I
missed you…as my friend…as more…"
She swallowed hard. "I don't think we can be friends anymore." Her voice
was heartbreakingly soft. "Not after what we did."
"We did nothing wrong." Nikolas insisted.
Emily gaped at him. "What? I cheated on Sly, Nikolas. I cheated on the man
I love. And it was a disgusting drunken one night stand."
His eyes hardened. "If you were so in love with Sly you wouldn't have slept
with me drunk or not all right. So it wasn't just some drunken one-night
stand. Damn it, why won't you just admit it yourself that you feel
something for me Emily, something other than friendship."
Emily shook herself free from his grip and turned the tables on him. "What
about Elizabeth? Huh? Weren't you supposedly in love with her too? Wasn't
that why you were drowning yourself in booze? Why you called me and begged
me to come over?"
"I can honestly admit to you that maybe I wasn't as in love with her as I
thought. If I was there was no way that night would have happened. You
know that."
"And you realized that when? The morning after or during it or did you
just stumble across it this morning?" She shook her head. "Never mind. I
don't even want to know, the thing is I love Sly, okay."
"Yeah, you keep saying that." He mumbled.
Emily continued on. "And I'm not going to hurt my friend because you think
you don't love her and you think you want to be with me."
"I do want to be with you." Nikolas said. "And you want that too. If you
keep on denying it then it's just going to hurt everyone more."
"I—I can't do this now." Emily shook her head. "I'm going to get dress
and when I come back out, please be gone." Emily started to walk away but
Nikolas grabbed her by the arm and whirled her around to face him.
I know that you're no good for me
That's why I feel I must confess
What's wrong is why it feels so right
I want to feel your sweet caress
"Don't walk away from me, don't walk away from this." Nikolas held her
face between his hands, holding her still. "Look me in the eye and tell me
that you don't feel this. Tell me!"
"I don't…" Emily looked away and bit her lip. She tried again. "I
don't…damn you." She swore softly.
Nikolas took this as a yes and his lips slowly descended towards hers.
Emily brought her hands up and wove them into his hair. She knew she was
going to regret this later but right now she couldn't stop herself.
This is wrong Emily, the voice in her head said. Stop this right now. Shut
up was the only answer she could give. Shut up and let me enjoy this. She
moaned in the back of her throat as Nikolas reached down and slowly peeled
her towel away. It dropped at their feet and Emily kicked it back.
Nikolas slightly raised his lips from hers. "No one's going to be here for
a while, right?" His breath whispered across her lips. He lazily ran his
hands up and down her sides.
A twinge of pain crept into Emily's desire filled eyes. She nodded her
head. "El—Elizabeth's going to be out all day and night…" She swallowed.
"Good…" Nikolas reached for her hand. Emily readily let him take it and
lead her into her bedroom.
~*~*~
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
Emily lay on her back staring at her ceiling. Did I just do this? Did I
really just do this? She asked herself.
Yeah, you did it again, the voice answered, and this time you did it in
Elizabeth's home, in the bed you share with Sly. And it seemed like you
enjoyed it a helluva lot! Aren't you proud of yourself?
"Leave me alone." She muttered.
"Hmm?" Nikolas murmured. He lay next to her propped up on his elbow. He
was playing with a strand of her hair. "Did you say something?"
Emily shook her head. "No, I uh…. No."
"So are you ever going to talk to me then?" Nikolas asked. She had been
laying there quietly for a long time now. If it weren't for her wide-eyed
stare at the ceiling, he would have thought she was asleep.
"Oh, I just…I can't believe I did this…that we did this." Emily frowned.
Nikolas grinned wickedly. "Oh, I can." He dropped the hair and walked his
fingers across her stomach. "That hickey I gave you is gone, how about I
give you another one…some place special?"
"No." Emily pushed his hand away and sat up. She drew her knees up to her
chin. "This was…this was wrong."
"Emily, are you really going to this guilt thing every time we make love?"
Nikolas asked quietly from behind her. He didn't like the way her thoughts
were going.
"We didn't make love, we had…sex!" Emily spat out the word harshly. "And
we aren't going to do this again, ever!"
Nikolas trailed his fingers along the small of her back. "Call it whatever
you want but don't try to fool yourself. I can't stay away from you and
you can't stay away from me." He leaned over and softly kissed where his
fingers had been. Emily fought hard to keep from reacting. She lost her
battle as his kiss sent a tingle through her.
If I only had one wish
Love would always feel like this
Wishin' on the stars above
Forbidden love
If I only had one dream
This would be more than it seems
Forbidden love (forbidden love)
"Where were you 6 years ago?" Emily asked suddenly.
"What do you mean? I was right here."
"No, I mean the Nikolas you are right now. Why weren't you him six years
ago? The Nikolas from six years ago wouldn't have dreamed of us being like
this right now."
"The Nikolas six years ago was a blind fool." Nikolas sat up behind her
and pressed a kiss to her shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her.
"I loved that blind fool. At least I thought I did." Emily said softly.
"But then I moved on, I grew up. Sly became the love of my live. I grew
up."
Nikolas hated hearing her refer to Sly as the love of her life while she
was in his arms. He closed his eyes. "I think we both had a little growing
up to do. We couldn't be what we are now six years ago."
"But what are we?" Emily asked sadly.
He wished he could give her a simple answer. "We're two people, two
friends, who have just become lovers."
She rejected his answer. "No, what we are, are two people who happen to be
hurting people we care about. Two people who should just stop what they're
doing now and never let it happen again. Maybe we shouldn't say anything
after all."
She could feel Nikolas shake his head. "No, you were right, the truth is
going to come out and the longer we keep quiet about it, the worse the
fallout's going to be when it does come out."
Emily covered her face with her hands. "How am I going to tell Elizabeth
and Sly? He's going to hate me. I spent a big part of my life with him and
what do I do? I betrayed him."
"Will you stop beating yourself up over this? You say you love Sly but if
you really did you wouldn't be in this bed with me right now. Emily, you
aren't like that and you know it. You aren't the type to have sex with
someone while you're in love with another person."
She laughed bitterly. "Guess what, now you're seeing a whole new Emily, an
Emily who does that sort of thing. Like what you see? Cause I sure as hell
don't."
"Emily…don't." Nikolas grasped her chin and turned her face towards his.
He tenderly brushed his lips across hers. "How long do we have before
Elizabeth gets home?"
Emily squeezed her eyes shut. "A lot of time. Like I said, she won't be
back until later tonight."
And aren't you so happy about that? More time for you to betray your fiancé
and best friend. That voice was really beginning to annoy her.
(Love without guilt, love without doubt)
(Love without guilt, love without doubt)
Rejection (Love without doubt)
Is the greatest aphrodisiac
Nikolas rubbed her arms. "Okay…come here." He started to lean back.
"Nikolas, really, I don't think so…" Emily weakly protested as she followed
his lead. She just couldn't resist him and that was killing her. She
thought she was stronger than that.
"Shh." He cuddled her in his arms. "I just want to hold you for a little
while."
Emily nodded and leaned her head against his shoulder. "When are we going
to tell them?"
"I don't want to talk about that right now." Nikolas objected. He already
knew that just lying together, holding her in his arms was going to be a
rare occurrence and he didn't want to ruin the moment.
"I need to know." Emily insisted.
He sighed and racked his brains for a date. "Uh, how about after
Thanksgiving? Might as well have one happy holiday first."
"Next week?" Emily whispered. "So soon?"
"Yeah…" A shrill ringing filled the room. Emily sat up. "What was that?"
"Must be my phone, hold on." Nikolas got out the bed and casually walked
over to where his jacket was. He rummaged through the pockets for a second
before finding his cell. "Cassadine."
Emily swung her legs off the bed and went to her closet for her robe. She
shrugged into it as she listened to Nikolas' end of the conversation.
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
"What happened? They weren't sent…okay, okay, do I really I need to come
in for this…yes, I'll be…" Nikolas looked up Emily. She stood with her back
to him, gazing out the window. "I'll be there soon."
Nikolas grabbed his pants. He spoke to her back as he stepped into them.
"Emily? I have to—"
"You have to go. I heard." Emily folded her arms. "I'll uh, I'll see you
around I guess."
He zipped up and snapped the button before walking over to Emily. He
placed his hands on her shoulders and kissed her neck. "You will be seeing
me soon."
Emily didn't even have guess at what he meant by that. She bent her head
and looked down at her feet. "Nikolas, we shouldn't…"
"Yeah but we will." He turned her around to face him. He smoothed back the
hair from her forehead and kissed her slowly. "We will. I want to see you
again, soon."
"We can't keep doing this here." Emily objected quickly. "Sly or Elizabeth
could—"
Nikolas nodded knowingly. "I know that. We could go someplace else. What
about Wyndemere? We could go riding or having a picnic or something. It
could be fun." He smiled crookedly.
"I don't know about that." Emily frowned. "I don't know about this whole
thing."
"It will be fun." Nikolas stated confidently. "I have to go but I will
call you, okay?" He quickly moved away and dressed, not waiting for her
answer. "Walk me out." He held out his hand to her and she took it.
In your eyes (in your eyes), forbidden love
In your smile (in your smile), forbidden love
In your kiss (in your kiss), forbidden love
If I had one wish love would feel like this (love would feel like this)
They walked in silence. Nikolas opened the front door and turned to Emily.
He smiled regretfully at Emily. "I really wish I didn't have to go."
He cupped her face and tenderly kissed her. Emily couldn't stop herself
from slowly wrapping her arms around his neck and returning the kiss. He
broke away and grinned.
"Now I really wished I didn't have to go." Emily silently echoed his
sentiments. He moved his hands down to her neck. His thumbs lightly stroked
her face. Emily reached up and placed her hand over his. He leaned in and
kissed her again before whispering goodbye and walking out.
Emily closed the door behind him and leaned her head against it. She
pressed her hand to her lips. "What am I doing? What's wrong with me?" She
murmured out loud.
You are a fool. You're destroying a good relationship for what? Sex? Oh
yeah, what all lasting relationships are based on, the voice snorted.
"Shut up! I already know that I'm a horrible person, okay?" Emily cried
out.
Yeah you are. Plus you're a coward.
"And I'm arguing with a voice in my head who keeps insulting me! I'm
certifiable." Emily muttered. She quickly headed for the shower, hoping
the water would drown out her conscience.
(Love without guilt, love without doubt)
Love should always feel like this
Heaven forgive me, never forbid me
Love should always feel like this…
~*~*~
There was a slight commotion outside of Stefan's office. He listened
attentively to the conversation going on outside his door.
"Please miss…let me at least announce you. Mister Cassadine doesn't like
unannounced guests." Mrs. Landsbury's voice came through the door.
"Well he's going to love me!" Snapped an angry female voice. She continued
on sarcastically. "Besides, haven't you heard? I'm *family*."
Carly opened the door and stormed past an upset Mrs. Landsbury. "I'm so
sorry, Mister Cassadine. She wouldn't—"
Stefan waved her concerns. "It's all right Mrs. Landsbury."
Carly flopped down into the chair in front of the large desk. She propped
her feet up on his desk. "Hiya, *Pops*." She snarled.
Stefan stared at her quietly for a few moments before calmly rising from
his seat and walking around the desk. He casually leaned against it and
slowly folded his arms. "Caroline." He slightly nodded.
"Wrong, the name is Carly. Only people I like or hate get to call me
Caroline. You, I have no feelings for whatsoever. So ix-nay on the
Caroline business." Carly corrected. She made a show of checking her
watch. "You have exactly five minutes to explain why you never once came
for me, never once thought to rescue me from the Bensons…Daddy dearest. Get
started because the clock is ticking."
*Song credit* "Forbidden Love" by Madonna (from Bedtime Stories)