Author's Note: Just trying this pointless one-shot. Forgive me if it's terrible.
The Ring Be Hers
I looked at the report in my hand and stared at my son in absolute anger. "Do you mean to tell me that all this time, you've been screwing up this whole project just because you were bored?" I demanded from him.
My son scratched his heads and caused the arrows on his back to rattle. "Eh, he, he…" He said like the brat he was.
I flicked my long hair from off my shoulder in irritation. What in the gods' name am I suppose to do with him? My beauty cannot take this kind of stress. I just hate it when my son plays with his assignments. It means I have to do something to make up for it. Save his ass and my sanity.
"I can't believe I have to do this…" I muttered, getting up from my seat, which by the way, is extremely comfortable. Having to leave it will put me in a foul mood for days. "Get me my carriage," I told my son. "You can do that, at least, can't you?"
"Yes mother."
"Oro! What--? Where am I, de gozaru yo?"
I stared at Himura Kenshin, tied to a chair, blindfolded and totally incapable of defending himself. Hmph! The things I have to do. I really shouldn't be doing this!
The red-headed and scarred ex-wanderer has been in my hair for quite some time. I just cannot wait to get him off my in-tray, if you know what I mean.
"Relax, Battousai," I said to him, lounging on the couch in my luxurious robes. "This won't take very long."
Kenshin stirred restlessly but set his jaw in a firm clench. "Who are you, de gozaru ka? What do you want from me?"
"Who I am isn't important," I replied, sipping my ambrosia tea. "And what I want from you…well, it's simple, really. Is she beautiful?"
Kenshin froze, my question inevitably got his heart beating to uncontrollable speeds. "Who, de gozaru ka?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes around. Must I go into every damn detail? "Kamiya Kaoru. Who else?"
I could see his hands forming fists.
"What do you want with her? Leave her alone. If you hurt her, so help me…"
"Please, if I wanted to hurt her, she would be dead by now," I said wearily. This is why I hated going on the field. "Just answer my questions and no harm will come to you, or to her, come to that. So, is she or is she not beautiful?"
He was pensive at first. Who wouldn't be? Tied hand and foot, nothing but a voice to gauge his surroundings. I kind of pity him. "She is. More than anyone, inside and out. I'm…well, that's my answer."
I raised an eyebrow. "You think you're not worthy of her."
"I'm not."
"Hmph. We'll fix that."
"Oro! What are you going to do to her?" He demanded.
"Be quiet! Question, answer, that's all I'll stand for!" I told him sternly. "What is she like?"
He bowed his head, surrendering himself to the inevitable. "Where do you want me to start?"
Well, that was a surprise. This was quite different. Most fools usually just rambled off when that question was asked, judging by the reports I've read. Himura Kenshin is unique indeed. He knows everything about the woman he loves. He's got everything stocked, catalogued and organized in a well-kept library in his mind. Fine, I'll comply. "What drew you to her?" I kind of like this precision. Might make things easier.
"Her courage," Kenshin answered without hesitation. "Absolute courage and fiery determination. The way she became my strength instead of my weakness. I would die for her, but she won't let me."
Astounding. I never knew this particular case had such depth. "Courage" and "determination" did not frequent my practice. The others usually said something like "her face" or "the way she walked". Some of the worse being "her cooking" and "her boobs". There's something definitely different about this couple.
"How does she respond to others?" I asked, truly interested now.
Again, Kenshin knew what to say. "With kindness. It's like the hand of Kami-sama descended upon her soul."
A faint smile crinkled on my lip. Who's to say Kami-sama is kind at all? Well…"She's quite a wonderful woman. Her features, the hair and eyes, very important."
"Raven hair," Kenshin replied. "Blacker than the blackest night, unyielding to the light. Her eyes are sapphire blue, expressive and innocent. Almost like I could drown in them. Onegai…do not harm her, de gozaru yo. She is…she is my life."
I peered at him. No wonder my boss said he was special. He sees…so much in this woman.
He has been put through too much, I think. Happiness has continued to elude him, yet he found Kamiya Kaoru.
Alas he is so broken, thinks himself so tarnished, that he would not, for the life of him, endeavor to allow himself the privilege to be loved by that same woman. Unfortunately, in the process, he has made others unhappy as well.
The usual skewer through the heart won't do. This one needs a more potent weapon.
"Son," I called to my offspring. "Fetch it."
My son gasped. "You don't mean…?"
"Yes. You've bungled this so much that nothing short of that could fix this."
"Aw, mom!"
"I said fetch it. No buts, or your butt will get it."
My son took off.
I looked with satisfaction at the tapestries as the Fates wove them. I saw Himura Kenshin asking Kamiya Kaoru's hand in marriage with the ring he received through the impudence of my son, and the miracle of his love.
Present gave a pout as she struggled with the intricacies of embroidering the image of the ring. "You should not have been so elaborate about the stones, Aphrodite. It's giving me an Underworld of a time right now."
I chuckled, running my sultry fingers through my perfect hair. "The cut and color of that Eternity Ring was essential to the depth of Himura's love for Kamiya. It was made for her. It was hers. Would you have me altering her inner being just so I could accommodate the Fates?"
Past gave a chuckle. "Quit complaining, Present. You're not the one who had to weave his entire Bakumatsu history. Do you know how difficult it is to put those moves of his on cloth?"
"Gripe! Gripe! Gripe!" Future scowled. "That's all I hear from the both of you. Now I have to map out a whole new existence for the two of them!"
I laughed and got up from my seat, patting Present on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll all do a fine job. I must be going. Got a lot of things to set straight. Cupid!"
"Mom! You know I hate that name!" He said, flapping his wings in indignation.
"Oh, I just love what those Romans did to your name. So appropriate for an infantile god like you."
"I told you! My arrows malfunctioned with Himura!"
"No excuses! Next time you foul up, so help me!" I said sternly. "Now, how are we doing with Ranma and Akane?"
"Eh, he, he…"
END
Author's Note: I'm so sorry! I've just been upset about something, so I had to get this out. Sorry if it was to everyone's demise. If you think this is so terrible, just please don't review it. Arigato!