If Only Memories Could be Erased As Easily [Chapter 4]
Pacing back and forth in his room, Tony thought back to what Lucas had told him. He drew in a shaky breath as he realized the abuse Lucas had gone through and was continuing to go through.
'And all the signs I missed...' Tony mused. 'I chose to ignore them.' He sighed softly, the sound echoing in the silence that followed.
The door opened, allowing a very tired Lucas to enter.
Glancing up sharply, Tony allowed a bit of relief to show on his face as he took a step closer to the tired teen.
However, Lucas raised a hand up to fend off Tony, whispering, "Not now, Tony. Not now. I need space." He slowly walked over to his bed, his shoulders slumped as he crawled onto it.
Ignoring Lucas' request, Tony asked softly, "What just happened to you, Luke?" Lucas shrugged without sending so much as a glance to Tony's direction.
"Captain wanted to speak with me," he said calmly, as if he were calm before the impending storm.
'And what a big storm it will be,' thought Tony. 'I just hope it goes away before it hits full strength...'
"About what?" Tony inquired out loud.
Lucas shot him a exasperated look, asking, "You HAVE to ask?" Tense exhaustion showed on every line of his face as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"I guess not," Tony added softly, trying not to upset him more. "What did he have to say?"
"I don't know," Lucas mumbled. "I didn't stick around to ask."
"What?" Tony asked. "And he just let you go?"
Lucas shrugged. "Well...I'm glad he did," Lucas stubbornly replied. "I need my
time away from him. He's always over my shoulder, asking me to do this, that, and everything else that needs to be done." He leaned back with a sigh, finally locking gaze with Tony.
His once vibrant eyes were even more dull blue than the last time Tony had seen the kid; dark bags encircled them, evidence of his recent lack of sleep due to his nightmares. And he knew Lucas' nightmares very well.
*~* [Flashback]
Tossing and turning, Lucas mumbled incoherent things in his sleep as he continued in his merciless nightmare. Lucas' third moan forced Tony out of his deep sleep, and he sat up in bed wondering what had woke him.
And then he heard it, and he knew. Lucas had been having nightmares for almost a week straight, and he refused to talk to Tony about it.
However, Tony doubted that Lucas even remembered the fact that Tony tried to help him. When Tony tried to wake him up, Lucas thrashed about in his bed and continued to mumble. And when his sparkling blue eyes opened, they never focused on Tony; rather, they focused on the ceiling beyond Tony as his mouth opened in a silent scream.
One night was particularly bad. Tony awoke with a start when he heard a deep moan from his friend's bed. When he arose to wake him, he found it harder then before.
"Luke! Wake up, buddy!" Shaking him hard, Tony continued to quietly shout in his friend's ear, trying to pull him out of his indescribable nightmare.
Lucas sat up quickly, taking Tony by surprise. His eyes focused on the wall as he struggled to pull himself to a full sitting position. After several fruitless attempts, he pushed himself over to the wall and began banging his head against the wall in slow, agonizing motion.
Alarmed, Tony pulled Lucas from the wall quickly and pushed his body back on his bed. Sweat poured down on Lucas' face as he gasped for air, shaking uncontrollably.
"What is it?" Tony asked him. "What is going on, Luke?" But there was no answer; there never was. Tony sighed and began his almost nightly vigil of his friend once more.
*~* [Present Time]
"So what are we going to do about this?" Tony finally asked, noting Lucas' expression at his uttering of the subject "we".
"We?" Lucas asked slowly. "Why should I drag you into this?"
Tony shrugged. "You already have, Luke. And besides, you're my friend. That's what friends are for." Lucas nodded silently.
"I guess," Lucas remarked softly, playing with his shirt cuff. "But it's not like I really know what to do, anymore," he added.
"Anymore? How long has this been going on, Luke?" Tony asked carefully.
Silence between the two lasted for almost a full minute as Lucas struggled to answer Tony's question. "The abuse? I don't know. It's one of my first memories, Tony. But I'm better now, really." Even a child could see through Lucas' lie, although Tony decided to ignore it for now.
"And why do you hide it? What has your father done to keep you from telling the truth?" Lucas shrugged, not meeting Tony's gaze as he answered.
"If I told it would make no difference. He can hire any lawyer he wants to make sure he wins. He doesn't want me, he only uses me. Whenever we used to go out to big dinners, he would show me off and parade me around like I was a prized possession." Lucas paused, pondering. "That was why I was so happy to come to SeaQuest, although it was a difficult change."
A sudden thought came to Tony as he asked softly, "Lucas, what were you doing on the computer when I came in the other day? When you quickly saved your file and exited?"
"I was erasing my current medical file." Pain echoed on Lucas' face as he remembered what the file contained. "So that Westphalen wouldn't know."
Tony remarked, "Oh. Where else have you pulled that 'trick'?"
Lucas looked up sharply but did not answer Tony's question, opting instead to attempt to stand.
As he did, his legs buckled out from under him, causing him to stumble. Tony raced over and reached a hand under Lucas' arm to help him steady himself. He couldn't help but note the wince that resulted on Lucas face as Tony gripped Lucas' wrist tightly.
"Sorry," Tony said softly. "I was just trying to help. Why does your wrist hurt?" In response, Lucas yanked back his wrist from Tony's prying fingers and attempted to hide it behind his back.
"What did your father do to your wrist?" Tony rephrased the question as he tried to get at Lucas' wrist.
Lucas only shook his head, mumbling, "I've told you enough, Tony. More than enough. I will regret it tomorrow." Lucas sighed softly and turned to move past him, but he was too slow.
Tony grabbed Lucas' wrist in an iron grip and slowly pushed the kid's shirt cuff up past his arm.
To his dismay, he noticed the intricate scars slowly crisscrossing across Lucas' wrist with a sigh.
"Lucas... What have you done?" He muttered.
"Let me go," Lucas cried as he tried to pull free from Tony. "Let me go," he repeated, vigorously trying to pull his wrist free from Tony's grip once more.
"I can't, Lucas. We have to go see Westphalen. It might be infected." Lucas shook his head sharply.
"No, I refuse." Lucas turned his head away as a single tear fell down his cheek, refusing to allow Tony to see.
"Sorry, Luke, we have to go see her. There's no other way. You're sick. Sicker than I thought. I'm sorry for not seeing it sooner." He led Lucas through the door and out into the corridor. Relaxing his grip just enough to close the door, he took his eye off Lucas for just one moment.
And that one moment was all that Lucas needed.
He broke off in a run, darting his way between a group of crewmembers on their break, stammering out apologies as he ripped past, with Tony on his heels.
Tony swore as he tried to keep up with the kid as he dodged through the corridors, but he knew he was losing ground. Lucas obviously knew where he was going, and Tony didn't.
And then the kid was gone. Tony jogged up to where he had seen him last, and found himself at a junction, with three choices for him to choose from.
'Oh, man. I have to find him, and soon,' Tony thought desperately as he chose a corridor at random: the middle one.
And the race was on to find Lucas before Lucas found his destination.
tbc
Pacing back and forth in his room, Tony thought back to what Lucas had told him. He drew in a shaky breath as he realized the abuse Lucas had gone through and was continuing to go through.
'And all the signs I missed...' Tony mused. 'I chose to ignore them.' He sighed softly, the sound echoing in the silence that followed.
The door opened, allowing a very tired Lucas to enter.
Glancing up sharply, Tony allowed a bit of relief to show on his face as he took a step closer to the tired teen.
However, Lucas raised a hand up to fend off Tony, whispering, "Not now, Tony. Not now. I need space." He slowly walked over to his bed, his shoulders slumped as he crawled onto it.
Ignoring Lucas' request, Tony asked softly, "What just happened to you, Luke?" Lucas shrugged without sending so much as a glance to Tony's direction.
"Captain wanted to speak with me," he said calmly, as if he were calm before the impending storm.
'And what a big storm it will be,' thought Tony. 'I just hope it goes away before it hits full strength...'
"About what?" Tony inquired out loud.
Lucas shot him a exasperated look, asking, "You HAVE to ask?" Tense exhaustion showed on every line of his face as he rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"I guess not," Tony added softly, trying not to upset him more. "What did he have to say?"
"I don't know," Lucas mumbled. "I didn't stick around to ask."
"What?" Tony asked. "And he just let you go?"
Lucas shrugged. "Well...I'm glad he did," Lucas stubbornly replied. "I need my
time away from him. He's always over my shoulder, asking me to do this, that, and everything else that needs to be done." He leaned back with a sigh, finally locking gaze with Tony.
His once vibrant eyes were even more dull blue than the last time Tony had seen the kid; dark bags encircled them, evidence of his recent lack of sleep due to his nightmares. And he knew Lucas' nightmares very well.
*~* [Flashback]
Tossing and turning, Lucas mumbled incoherent things in his sleep as he continued in his merciless nightmare. Lucas' third moan forced Tony out of his deep sleep, and he sat up in bed wondering what had woke him.
And then he heard it, and he knew. Lucas had been having nightmares for almost a week straight, and he refused to talk to Tony about it.
However, Tony doubted that Lucas even remembered the fact that Tony tried to help him. When Tony tried to wake him up, Lucas thrashed about in his bed and continued to mumble. And when his sparkling blue eyes opened, they never focused on Tony; rather, they focused on the ceiling beyond Tony as his mouth opened in a silent scream.
One night was particularly bad. Tony awoke with a start when he heard a deep moan from his friend's bed. When he arose to wake him, he found it harder then before.
"Luke! Wake up, buddy!" Shaking him hard, Tony continued to quietly shout in his friend's ear, trying to pull him out of his indescribable nightmare.
Lucas sat up quickly, taking Tony by surprise. His eyes focused on the wall as he struggled to pull himself to a full sitting position. After several fruitless attempts, he pushed himself over to the wall and began banging his head against the wall in slow, agonizing motion.
Alarmed, Tony pulled Lucas from the wall quickly and pushed his body back on his bed. Sweat poured down on Lucas' face as he gasped for air, shaking uncontrollably.
"What is it?" Tony asked him. "What is going on, Luke?" But there was no answer; there never was. Tony sighed and began his almost nightly vigil of his friend once more.
*~* [Present Time]
"So what are we going to do about this?" Tony finally asked, noting Lucas' expression at his uttering of the subject "we".
"We?" Lucas asked slowly. "Why should I drag you into this?"
Tony shrugged. "You already have, Luke. And besides, you're my friend. That's what friends are for." Lucas nodded silently.
"I guess," Lucas remarked softly, playing with his shirt cuff. "But it's not like I really know what to do, anymore," he added.
"Anymore? How long has this been going on, Luke?" Tony asked carefully.
Silence between the two lasted for almost a full minute as Lucas struggled to answer Tony's question. "The abuse? I don't know. It's one of my first memories, Tony. But I'm better now, really." Even a child could see through Lucas' lie, although Tony decided to ignore it for now.
"And why do you hide it? What has your father done to keep you from telling the truth?" Lucas shrugged, not meeting Tony's gaze as he answered.
"If I told it would make no difference. He can hire any lawyer he wants to make sure he wins. He doesn't want me, he only uses me. Whenever we used to go out to big dinners, he would show me off and parade me around like I was a prized possession." Lucas paused, pondering. "That was why I was so happy to come to SeaQuest, although it was a difficult change."
A sudden thought came to Tony as he asked softly, "Lucas, what were you doing on the computer when I came in the other day? When you quickly saved your file and exited?"
"I was erasing my current medical file." Pain echoed on Lucas' face as he remembered what the file contained. "So that Westphalen wouldn't know."
Tony remarked, "Oh. Where else have you pulled that 'trick'?"
Lucas looked up sharply but did not answer Tony's question, opting instead to attempt to stand.
As he did, his legs buckled out from under him, causing him to stumble. Tony raced over and reached a hand under Lucas' arm to help him steady himself. He couldn't help but note the wince that resulted on Lucas face as Tony gripped Lucas' wrist tightly.
"Sorry," Tony said softly. "I was just trying to help. Why does your wrist hurt?" In response, Lucas yanked back his wrist from Tony's prying fingers and attempted to hide it behind his back.
"What did your father do to your wrist?" Tony rephrased the question as he tried to get at Lucas' wrist.
Lucas only shook his head, mumbling, "I've told you enough, Tony. More than enough. I will regret it tomorrow." Lucas sighed softly and turned to move past him, but he was too slow.
Tony grabbed Lucas' wrist in an iron grip and slowly pushed the kid's shirt cuff up past his arm.
To his dismay, he noticed the intricate scars slowly crisscrossing across Lucas' wrist with a sigh.
"Lucas... What have you done?" He muttered.
"Let me go," Lucas cried as he tried to pull free from Tony. "Let me go," he repeated, vigorously trying to pull his wrist free from Tony's grip once more.
"I can't, Lucas. We have to go see Westphalen. It might be infected." Lucas shook his head sharply.
"No, I refuse." Lucas turned his head away as a single tear fell down his cheek, refusing to allow Tony to see.
"Sorry, Luke, we have to go see her. There's no other way. You're sick. Sicker than I thought. I'm sorry for not seeing it sooner." He led Lucas through the door and out into the corridor. Relaxing his grip just enough to close the door, he took his eye off Lucas for just one moment.
And that one moment was all that Lucas needed.
He broke off in a run, darting his way between a group of crewmembers on their break, stammering out apologies as he ripped past, with Tony on his heels.
Tony swore as he tried to keep up with the kid as he dodged through the corridors, but he knew he was losing ground. Lucas obviously knew where he was going, and Tony didn't.
And then the kid was gone. Tony jogged up to where he had seen him last, and found himself at a junction, with three choices for him to choose from.
'Oh, man. I have to find him, and soon,' Tony thought desperately as he chose a corridor at random: the middle one.
And the race was on to find Lucas before Lucas found his destination.
tbc