Barton Pizzeria By: Pyro Mazoku
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of the characters or mecha in it. Although having my own Wing Zero would be neat. I'm not making any money off of this story either. So don't sue me, take my dog instead!
In the little town of...um I forgot. In a little town in Indiana (US), there is a restaurant called Barton's Pizzeria. No, Trowa doesn't really work there. But I imagined he did. And that's where I came up with this crazy little fic. Enjoy the insanity. ^_^ BTW, the way Trowa talks is a little joke between my friends and I. Sorry if it annoys you... Read and Review Onegai!!!
Chapter One: A Restaurant? See the G-boys Go!
Trowa stepped up to the counter as a customer entered the restaurant. He wore a funny red and white striped shirt, a red apron, and a red cap. His expression remained emotionless as the customer neared the register.
Trowa: ...?
Man: Excuse me? Um...I'd like to order.
Trowa: ...
Man: Can you...talk?
Trowa: ...!
Just then Quatre came from the back of the restaurant.
Quatre: Trowa? Oh Trowa! There you are! Oh look, there's a customer! Are you helping him out?
Trowa: ...
Quatre: He has yet to order? Maybe he can't decide. Ask him if you would recommend something for him.
Trowa turned to the customer and raised an eyebrow.
Trowa: ...?
Man: I'm sorry? Did you say something?
Trowa: ...!
The man walked out of the restaurant muttering something about 'no customer service in this place'.
Trowa: ...!
Quatre came out again from the back of the restaurant.
Quatre: Yes Trowa? Trowa, where'd the customer go?
Trowa: ...
Quatre: He left? That's too bad... I know, why don't we switch places? I'll work up front and you can help Duo make pizzas?
Trowa: ...
In the back, Duo was cursing his head off.
Duo: Why'd we have to be drawn so short? And then there's no ladders for us to use! I can't reach!
Trowa: ...?
Duo: The problem? Uh...um...well, you know how I'm supposed to be making pizzas?
Duo pointed to the ceiling. There, was stuck a pizza crust dough.
Duo: And because we're all short, I can't reach to get it down!
Trowa: ...
Wufei: Stand on my back to get it down?? Injustice! I will not be demoted into some sort of a step ladder!
Trowa: ...?
Wufei: No I won't! So what we can't afford to have pizza dough on the ceiling! Well, it's not my fault! Why don't I stand on his back and get the pizza.
Trowa: ...
Wufei: Cause I'm heavier?! Are you saying--!
Duo: *happily singing* Everybody nice! Everybody nice!
Wufei: Shut up!
Trowa: ...!!
Duo cowered.
Duo: ...Sorry.
Trowa turned his attention back to Wufei, a pleading look in his eyes.
Trowa: ...?
Wufei: No! All this time that I've worked here, I've been used! I'm sick of it! I quit!
Duo: Don't you think you're taking this way out of proportion?
Wufei: You're all a bunch of weak women, you know that? I can make a far more better pizzeria than you!
Trowa: ...
Wufei: I will! See you all later!
Wufei stomped out to the front, and walked passed Quatre.
Quatre: H-hey! Where are you going??
Wufei: I'm outta this place!
Quatre: You can't just quit!
Wufei: I just did!
He opened up the door and walked out. In front of the restaurant stood Heero. His job was to threaten people with their lives so that they'd walk in the restaurant. Remember that one guy who didn't order anything? Heero took care of him. Heh-heh-heh.
Heero: Tough day?
Wufei: I quit!
Heero: Again?
Wufei: For good this time!
Heero: Okay, see ya.
Chapter Two: Rivals? The Chang Pizzeria!
Wufei stomped down the street and rounded the corner. Before he knew it, he bumped into Zechs. Despite being bumped into, Zechs met the ex-Gundam pilot with a surprised and happy smile.
Zechs: Hi Wufei, long time no see...
Wufei: What are you talking about Zechs? We just--
But before he could finish, Zechs clamped his hand over Wufei's mouth.
Zechs: Shh! Don't say that aloud here! And besides, if we implicate that we didn't do anything last night, the readers won't get hentai thoughts in their head.
Wufei: At least they don't pair me up with some woman then!
Zechs tucked a piece of his long platinum hair behind his ear. Sometimes he did wonder about Wufei's sexual preference. Okay, so he did know his preference…
Zechs: So what were you so upset about back then when you bumped into me?"
Wufei: Nobody apreciates me at that Barton Pizzeria! They treat me so poorly! So I quit! And I'm not going back! One day I'll have my revenge on them! They'll see...I'll make a far better restaurant than them!
Wufei clenched and unclenched his fists as he talked.
Zechs: Well then, why don't you?
Wufei: Do what?
Zechs: Make a pizzeria of your own?
Wufei: I can't run a pizzeria all by myself, baka!
Zechs bit his lower lip at the last comment.
Zechs: I'll help you, Wufei.
Wufei: You will?
Zechs: Maybe we can convince Treize-sama to work there too.
Wufei tapped his chin in thought.
Wufei: It sounds possible...
Zechs: And if Treize-sama works with us, maybe he can help with the financial part of owning a pizzeria.
Wufei was getting excited with the thoughts of owning a pizzeria, being his own boss, and working beside the most kawaii bishounen in all of Gundam Wing. Too good to be true!
Zechs: Why are you so avidly agreeing with my ideas?
Wufei: Because you're just so damn cute!
***Meanwhile at Barton Pizzeria***
Quatre was in tears.
Quatre: He just walked out! What are we going to do? We can't run an entire pizzeria with just the four of us...
Trowa wrapped his arms around Quatre in an embrace.
Trowa: ...
Quatre: Are you sure it will be alright?
Duo: But now how am I supposed to get the pizza dough off the ceiling?
Heero sat mumbling to himself.
Heero: Why do I even bother working with these guys? All I do, is stand outside all day threatening passers-by to be our customer. Why can't I just go back to being a Gundam pilot? I had fun being a Gundam pilot. It's not fair that we have world peace now. Maybe I should start a war. *nod-nod* Yeah, that's what I'll do. Then I can go back to living the only way I know how. Here, I don't get paid enough, I don't get any benefits, just free pizza -I don't even like pizza!- and Duo always expects me to pay attention to him just so he can flirt with me. I mean, I like the guy and all but---
Duo: Hey Heero! Heero! Hee-chan!
Heero: Don't call me that.
Duo: *smile-smile* Whatcha thinkin' about?
Heero: Nothing.
Duo: *flirt-flirt* Are you thinking about me?
Heero: Go away.
Duo: You were thinking about me.
Heero grumbled to himself and went back outside to work, leaving Duo to puzzle over the pizza dough.
Quatre: Why are you so confident, Trowa?
Trowa: ...
Quatre: You really think so? I'm not sure Wufei will come back. So I shouldn't be worried?
Trowa shook his head and kissed Quatre on the forehead.
Just then, Wufei stomped into the restaurant, but stopped short and grimaced when he saw Trowa and Quatre.
Wufei: You know, customers do come in every now and then. The front of the restaurant is no place to make love in.
Trowa: ... *blush*
Quatre: So you did come back! Trowa was right!
Wufei: Hah, no.
Wufei handed a flyer to Trowa, who read it.
Trowa: ...?
Quatre: The Chang Pizzeria? By the address written here, it's located across the street. Wufei you didn't--
Wufei: We are now rivals in the Pizzeria business. Have a nice day!
He left.
Quatre burst into tears again, gripping Trowa's shirt.
Quatre: We're all supposed to be friends! It wasn't supposed to happen this way!
Chapter Three: Threats? The War With Customers!
Heero: Hey! Where are you going?
Lady: The pizzeria across the street. It just opened up about a week ago. I'm dying to taste the pizza.
Heero: Yeah, well you'll be dead if you don't order our pizza.
Heero aimed his gun at the lady.
Lady: Eep! On second thought across the street is so far... *ramble-ramble*
The lady runs in Barton Pizzeria and hides in the bathroom.
Wufei: Heero are you stealing my customers?? You'll pay for that!
Heero: Don't make me self destruct!
Wufei: Nani? Baka! You'll destroy your restaurant!
Heero: Not if I walk across the street.
Wufei: Don't you come near this restaurant! Treize-sama paid a lot for this building, the food, and the advertisements.
Heero: Why couldn't you just use your money you got from being a G-pilot?
Wufei: I gave my money earned from being a gundam pilot to my clan!
Heero: But your clan is dead...
Wufei: Don't remind me!!
Heero: How about your paychecks from working here?
Wufei: Trowa didn't pay me enough to make my own business!
While the two boys were shouting to eachother from one side of the street to the other, Zechs came outside to nag Wufei.
Zechs: A lady on the phone wants to know if we deliver.
Wufei: Yeah from where?
Zechs: *whispering* Across the street...
Wufei: Tell her we can do that.
Wufei turned his attention back to Heero.
Wufei: Enough with talking to the likes of you. I have a customer. Nyah!!!
Chapter Four: Tricked? A Journey to The Enemies Territory!
Duo: Trowa why are you so cheap?
Trowa: ...!!
Quatre: He is not cheap! Okay, maybe a little...
Trowa: ...!
Quatre: I'm sorry Trowa, but Duo's right. We need two bathrooms, not just a unisex one.
Duo: That lady's been in there for twenty minutes and I have to go!
Trowa: ...?
Duo: There aren't any trees around here!
Trowa: ...?
Duo: I don't think so. Wufei's not going to let us into his restaurant just so I can use the bathroom.
Trowa: ...
Duo: He might not!
Quatre walked over to the bathroom and knocked on the door.
Quatre: Ma'am? You've been in there for quite awhile. Do you need any help?
No answer. Quatre knocked on the door again.
Quatre: Ma'am?
Lady: Just waiting...
Quatre: Just waiting for what?
Zechs: Her pizza delivery, of course.
Duo: You?!
Zechs knocked on the door.
Zechs: Chang Pizzeria, Ma'am. I have your pizza.
The lady cautiously opened the door and was met by the glares of three ex-Gundam pilots and a smiling Zechs.
Lady: Thank you. How much is it?
Zechs: Ten bucks.
She handed Zechs a twenty.
Lady: You can keep the change if you can get me out of this restaurant alive.
Zechs: Yay! Okay!
He grabbed her hand and made a run for it out the back door. The three boys just stood there in stunned silence.
Quatre: Wh-what just happened?!
Trowa: ...!!!!!
Duo: Nevermind, the bathrooms free!
He went to go run in the bathroom, but was jerked back by the collar from Trowa.
Trowa: ...?!
Duo: I didn't mean to! I accidently left it open!
Quatre: You left the back door open?
Trowa: ...?!
Duo: You're too cheap to get air conditioning and it was getting stuffy back there so I opened the door.
Trowa: ...??
Duo: Gomen! Gomen nasai!
Quatre started to cry.
Quatre: Trowa please don't be angry. You're scary when you're angry...
Trowa let Duo go, who ran into the bathroom quicker than lightning, and walked over to Quatre.
Trowa: ...
Quatre: I know you're sorry, Trowa.
Trowa: ...
Quatre: I love you too, Trowa. Just please don't be upset. It was only one customer after all.
Trowa: ...
Quatre: Yeah, Heero will be mad when he finds out Zechs tricked him.
Trowa: ...
Quatre: No, I don't think we should tell him either.
Chapter Five: Revenge? Heero's solution!
Heero stomped in the restaurant and glared at Trowa.
Heero: What's this I hear about Zechs delivering pizza here?
Trowa: ...
Quatre: I didn't tell him.
Duo: I don't keep secrets from the one I love!
Trowa kept cool, despite wanting to strangle the self-proclaimed God of Death. Heero shook his head.
Heero: Oh great, now he loves me. Now what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to be cold and emotionless. That's the way all Gundam pilots are supposed to be. They weren't all trained the way I was though. Duo is kinda cute after all. But his obsessive-ness over me kinda makes me want to self-destruct sometimes. Maybe that's what I'll do. I'll end this pathetic excuse of a fanfic.
Heero laughed in a maniacal un-Heero like way.
Duo: Uh-oh...
Heero walked over and kissed Duo. (Aww....) Then walked out, but not before addressing the group.
Heero: If you want to live, I suggest you leave this place.
Trowa, Quatre, and Duo sweat-dropped.
All 3: He's going to self-destruct...
Heero got out Wing Zero III (magically appearing out of no where), boarded it and walked to the middle of the street between the two pizzerias.
Heero: I love doing this! ^_^
He pushed the self-destruct button and there was a huge explosion. After the dust all cleared, Trowa, Quatre, Duo, Wufei, Zechs, and Treize gathered where the remains of Wing Zero III lay.
Duo: Nooooooooooo Heero!!!
Trowa: ...
Wufei: How weak.
Zechs: How reckless.
Treize: I payed good money for that restaurant only for it to blow up? I have no reason to live...
Wufei: Sure you do, I still owe you for giving the money right?
Treize got a dreamy look in his eyes and wished Zechs owed him for something too. Hentai thoughts, hentai thoughts. Treize smacked himself and tried to stay calm.
Quatre wiped away tears.
Quatre: Oh Heero, you died for a good cause. To end our rivalry. Maybe now, we can all be friends.
Heero: I'm not dead, baka!
Duo: Heero! You're alive!
He ran over and glomped him.
Heero: Ack! Don't glomp me that hurts! No, not here! The fanfic is not rated for that! Duo!!
Okay, a short, pitiful ending, but I had to end it somehow... So with the two pizzerias destroyed will they all be friends? Fat chance. Which makes me wonder if I left open any loose ends... Oh well, I doubt I'd write a sequel to this fic anyway. Did you like it? Review Please?