A/N: Written back in 2001 for Jason and Elizabeth, when she was with Jacob Young's Lucky but her heart kept pulling her towards Jason.
Need To Fly
by aprilhope
she would call him up
when every breath felt like pain
say "I need to fly tonight"
and he'd take her away
and he found beauty in her eyes
and she felt strong for the first time
the world was breathlessly alive
for a little while
he never tried to make her his
he helped her become hers again
and there were no words for what that meant
to both of them
the day came cold that he had to leave
and her heart froze like her breath in the air
then melted slow with a goodbye kiss
warm upon her hair
he'd drift from town and then back again
never gone for too long, just like the wind
he'd always return to her sweet porcelain
and she'd find her smile with him
she said,
"I'm a little less myself every time you go,
so I'm hoping this time you'll stay"
he couldn't tell her yes, he wouldn't tell her no
no promises were made
time came again, he faded into the sun
holding onto memories of her face
but she was held by memories of another life
her heart's old resting place
back to the love that was all she had known
the life meant for the girl she had been
but, something missing, she looked to the horizon
until her heart caught sight of him again
his coming home meant back to her
and she reached out for the feeling she'd missed
and in his arms the lines blurred further
even as she spoke of her new happiness
she said she had everything she needed
but her eyes held a need to go flying
she swore her life was perfect at last
so why was she always crying
why would she always come to him
make excuses to be with him
tell him she could never see him again
then pray that he would let her in
she wondered when it changed, or had it never
had it been this electric always, forever
did she shut her eyes, not let herself see
what could have been 'til it could never be
love, neither hidden nor spoken at first
only magnified by the time apart
he says,
"it's not my place to give you flowers
but if you let me, I'll give you my heart"
but she says,
"I can't fly with you anymore
I can only call you a beautiful dream
I can't let myself care for you anymore
this isn't who I'm supposed to be"
he says,
"you are who you are, and you feel what you feel
and deep in your heart you know this is real"
she says,
"it doesn't matter, this has to be the end
my life's with someone else, we can only be friends"
he says,
"please don't call me 'friend'
my heart may stop beating if you say it again
I feel the sting even through my skin of stone
accepting that I'll never call you my own"
she says,
"I'm sorry this is how things have to be
but I'll never forget how much I loved being free"
and she knows she'll break if she looks into his eyes
so she runs away, hoping he can't hear her cries
and he is left standing there alone
and he is lost because she was his home
and everywhere is somewhere he dreamed they would go
and nowhere was their favorite winding road
he's left to remember how she'd call him up
and her voice would wash over him like rain
saying "I need to fly tonight"
and together they'd fly away
Copyright 2001 April Hope Smith