KAGAKU NINJATAI GARBAGEMEN!
By S. J. Smith
DISCLAIMER: Tatsunoko Pro owns these characters, not me. After I get finished playing with them, I promise to return them. Of course, they may be a little worse for wear....
DEDICATION: To Diinzumo, who else?
ONE NIGHT AT THE SNACK JUN, AFTER WAY TOO MUCH BEER
(AND NOT ENOUGH SLEEP)....
KEN: So what would you do if you weren't part of the team?
JOE [Thinks briefly]: Be a garbage collector.
KEN: Nani?
JOE: Yeah. No stress, big truck, fresh air--
KEN: *Fresh* air?
JOE: Well... big truck--
KEN: Big horkin' truck.
JOE: Big horkin' truck, good salary, uniform, respect--
KEN: Incredible smells.
JOE: Women running after me in revealing nightclothes 'cause they forgot to put their trash out on time...
KEN [Realization dawns]: *Hey!*
JOE [Smirks, pours each of them another beer]: I'd let them chase me for a little bit so I could watch their decola-- decorata-- boobs bounce.
KEN: Don't let Jun hear you say that.
[Ken and Joe look at each other in all seriousness.]
JOE: What, decolletage?
KEN [Fighting off giggles]: Yeah!
JOE [Snorting]: Kampai!
[They touch glasses and down the beer. Ken is a little brighter-eyed after his drink. Joe nearly tips the bottle over as he reaches to pour another round.]
KEN: Howcum we don't do thish--this--more often?
JOE: Drink?
KEN: Talk about being garbagemen.
JOE: Subject never came up.
KEN: What if we were all garbagemen?
JOE [Digesting that idea]: Not Jun?
KEN: No, no, no, no, no, not Jun. She'd work inna office.
JOE [Tries to picture Jun in an office in a secretary's outfit, and fails miserably. The image fades into Jun running down the street after a garbage truck, house robe flapping and decolletage bouncing.]
JOE: Huh.
KEN: Kagaku Ninjatai Garbageman!
JOE [Snorts]: We are Five, Standing as One--the Dingy Shadow that Sneaks In Unseen!
KEN [Giggles]: But definitely smelled!
[They both erupt.]
JOE: I've got one: "To Defend the Global Good!"
KEN: I don't get it.
JOE: We'd be garbagemen, right? Picking up trash? For the good of the planet?
KEN [Wearing trademark Blank Ken Expression #138(TM)]: Oh, okay... I don't get it.
JOE [Giving up]: Kampai. [They drink more beer.]
KEN: What about Hakase?
JOE: He'd be the head of the refinery where we take the trash.
KEN [Tries to picture Nambu in anything other than his blue suit, and comes up with the image of Nambu in a pink suit with matching scarf.]
KEN: Eww....
JOE: I'd drive the truck, you, Ryu and Jinpei could collect the garbage.
KEN: Howcum you get the cool job?
JOE: You can't drive worth shit.
KEN: Oh. [Digests this.] HEY!
JOE [Ignoring Ken (big surprise, there)]: Of course, if you fall off the truck, don't blame me--I'll be chasing down that villain...Berg Trashy!
KEN: I think you have way too much free time, Joe. Or all those high octane gas fumes are rotting your brain.
JOE: The Garbagemen....
[The End?]
By S. J. Smith
DISCLAIMER: Tatsunoko Pro owns these characters, not me. After I get finished playing with them, I promise to return them. Of course, they may be a little worse for wear....
DEDICATION: To Diinzumo, who else?
ONE NIGHT AT THE SNACK JUN, AFTER WAY TOO MUCH BEER
(AND NOT ENOUGH SLEEP)....
KEN: So what would you do if you weren't part of the team?
JOE [Thinks briefly]: Be a garbage collector.
KEN: Nani?
JOE: Yeah. No stress, big truck, fresh air--
KEN: *Fresh* air?
JOE: Well... big truck--
KEN: Big horkin' truck.
JOE: Big horkin' truck, good salary, uniform, respect--
KEN: Incredible smells.
JOE: Women running after me in revealing nightclothes 'cause they forgot to put their trash out on time...
KEN [Realization dawns]: *Hey!*
JOE [Smirks, pours each of them another beer]: I'd let them chase me for a little bit so I could watch their decola-- decorata-- boobs bounce.
KEN: Don't let Jun hear you say that.
[Ken and Joe look at each other in all seriousness.]
JOE: What, decolletage?
KEN [Fighting off giggles]: Yeah!
JOE [Snorting]: Kampai!
[They touch glasses and down the beer. Ken is a little brighter-eyed after his drink. Joe nearly tips the bottle over as he reaches to pour another round.]
KEN: Howcum we don't do thish--this--more often?
JOE: Drink?
KEN: Talk about being garbagemen.
JOE: Subject never came up.
KEN: What if we were all garbagemen?
JOE [Digesting that idea]: Not Jun?
KEN: No, no, no, no, no, not Jun. She'd work inna office.
JOE [Tries to picture Jun in an office in a secretary's outfit, and fails miserably. The image fades into Jun running down the street after a garbage truck, house robe flapping and decolletage bouncing.]
JOE: Huh.
KEN: Kagaku Ninjatai Garbageman!
JOE [Snorts]: We are Five, Standing as One--the Dingy Shadow that Sneaks In Unseen!
KEN [Giggles]: But definitely smelled!
[They both erupt.]
JOE: I've got one: "To Defend the Global Good!"
KEN: I don't get it.
JOE: We'd be garbagemen, right? Picking up trash? For the good of the planet?
KEN [Wearing trademark Blank Ken Expression #138(TM)]: Oh, okay... I don't get it.
JOE [Giving up]: Kampai. [They drink more beer.]
KEN: What about Hakase?
JOE: He'd be the head of the refinery where we take the trash.
KEN [Tries to picture Nambu in anything other than his blue suit, and comes up with the image of Nambu in a pink suit with matching scarf.]
KEN: Eww....
JOE: I'd drive the truck, you, Ryu and Jinpei could collect the garbage.
KEN: Howcum you get the cool job?
JOE: You can't drive worth shit.
KEN: Oh. [Digests this.] HEY!
JOE [Ignoring Ken (big surprise, there)]: Of course, if you fall off the truck, don't blame me--I'll be chasing down that villain...Berg Trashy!
KEN: I think you have way too much free time, Joe. Or all those high octane gas fumes are rotting your brain.
JOE: The Garbagemen....
[The End?]