Another chapter! Hoorah! Now you can get off my back- *coff* JenandCourtenayandJaqueline-*coff* This one has 'colorful language'... so a warning to you now...miam.
***
Sun washed over the blonde's hair as he pounded anxiously at the door in front of him. His clenched fists hit once, twice, again and again, but despite his frustration, no one answered.
*Goddamned it!! Why the hell won't they open their fucking door?!?*
At last, he heard the sound of someone shuffling towards the exit and then the opening swung open. Mrs. Kamiya stood in front of him with an expression that showed only irritation- though she still tried to put on a pleasant smile as she said, "Hello, Matt, how are you this morning?" She had been stuck with the task of trying to balance a heap of dirty dishes with one hand as well as keeping the door open though she was starting to fail. There was a loud crash as the dishes spilled onto the ground, so Yamato leaned over to help her pick some of the cracked glass, though not being careful enough to avoid the shape edges.
"Oh dear, are you alright? You're fingers bleeding-"
"Don't worry~!" He cried while shoving his hands into his pockets and trying to avoid interrogations. "I'm sure it'll heal in no time. Um- is Tai here?"
"Tai?" She repeated as if trying to figure out why he'd be so eager to visit her son that early in the morning. "Yeah- I think he's in his room…He hasn't come out since breakfast."
"Thank you~!" He replied with a quick bow then dashed into the household at breaking speed.
He skidded on the wooden floor and almost missed the door to the brunette's room completely. Taking the time to try and get over the large pit that had initialed itself in his stomach, he took a deep breath and let his knuckles knock gently on the door.
The first sight he saw when the entrance flew open was a tanned skin boy who looked more like he was 6 instead of 16, as his eyes seemed as if they had been dyed crimson. He appeared to have been kicked or beaten. The twist in Yamato's stomach grew.
"Mom- I already-"
Taichi stopped the second that he noticed who it was who had knocked on his door. The look on his face changed from displeasure to the exact opposite.
"Matt!!" He said in a strained whisper while grabbing the dark jacket and pulling the other into his room.
Yamato stared around at the room and saw that the lights were gone- just as before, while they blinds had been closed. Feeling his panic rise, he struggled to break the hold that Tai had on his arm but it was no good. Tai was an athlete- he wasn't. "Stop it, Tai…" He said, trying to pry the fingers off of him. "I can't- not right now…"
"Calm down. I'm not trying to make any moves." Taichi responded bluntly and thoroughly straightforward; though he released Matt from his grasp. "I just want to talk. No; actually, I *need* to talk."
The only reason Yamato had come over was to tell his friend what had happened so that he could get it off his chest. He wouldn't care if Tai didn't talk to him for a while- he had expected that. He didn't care if Tai never wanted to talk to him again. Well- actually, he'd *care*, but he'd understand why he had taken the actions. He had done one of the worst things he could've done to their relationship, and he knew it. Tai deserved better then him.
So, why the hell did he have to make it so difficult?! Matt didn't want to talk- he wanted to get the heartache over with. He wanted to be done with the guilt that had been harassing his mind non-stop ever since that night before.
"Tai…" He started, "I-"
"Shh…" Tai interrupted, lifting his index finger to his mouth. "Just listen."
Matt sighed in discomfort then looked up at the ceiling nervously. "Alright…" he said quietly.
"I didn't know how to say this before…" Tai started slowly, collecting Yamato's shaking hands in his own. "But ever since yesterday, I've been thinking about it- so now I've got some idea…
"Ever since I met you- I always knew that I was closer to you than the other kids. I don't know why- I just did. Sure, we fought a hell of a lot, but we still- connected, you know?"
Matt's whole body was still quivering. "Yeah." He replied with his eyes glued to the floor. "I know." The lump grew some more.
"When we actually started-" He paused a second then said, "-You know... getting together… I didn't know why I was doing it. It's not like I had ever liked guys before or anything like that. Hell, for the longest time- I thought I almost had a thing for Sora. But with you- it was…" His voice was suddenly placid. "…different…"
*Stop it…* Yamato begged silently, *Please, just stop it….*
"Look- what I said before- I just said it because I was confused. I didn't understand how I actually felt about you. The truth is- I hate being away from you- or knowing that you're angry with me. I thought I had lost you- I really did. But now that you're here, I just have to tell you that I *do* cherish your company. I want to be able to take care of you, Yamato. I-"
"Stop it, Tai…", Matt said finally, causing Taichi to take a step back, "Just- don't say anything else…"
But the brunette ignored the warning then blurted, "Yamato… I *love* you."
His face shone with such anticipation that the blonde could almost feel his heart shatter from inside of him. Why did he have to love him now!? Why couldn't have just told him this before!? Then none of it would have happened…
"Stop it!!" Matt cried out again, jerking his hands away and hiding them behind his back. "You don't even know what you're saying!" For some reason he felt himself still shivering out of control.
Though he was slightly shaken from the curt words that spouted from Yamato's mouth, Tai wasn't prepared to give up that easily.
"No… you see, that's just it-" he answered as if he had a great secret he was trying to explain to his friend, that nobody else knew, "I actually *do* know what I'm saying! Everything I said- it's true!" His mouth was left in a large grin as he waited eagerly for a response. Confident expectations had claimed him while his mind was put into a state of pure ecstasy.
Yamato said nothing. He couldn't. It was impossible for him to put into words what he was feeling- for fear of injuring the other.
"Well-??" Tai asked, seeing that the reaction wasn't quite as he had hoped it would have been. He had foreseen at least an 'I love you' back, or something of that sort, but so far things were looking desolate.
*Maybe I said it too soon… He wasn't ready… Or maybe he just doesn't want to commit to *me*… I mean after all… I've been such a fucking idiot lately…*
"What's the matter?" He inquired in a bare whisper, "Did I-"
"No…" Matt interrupted, "It was nothing that you did. I'm just-"
"Just *what*?" Tai asked quickly. "Something's bothering you… Why don't you just tell me-"
Yamato stopped talking and began to play with his fingers. "It's not that I don't want to tell you…It's just- I don't think I can… at least not now-"
"Why not?" Tai demanded, though still in a good-natured tone. The blonde began answer but he stopped him by saying, "Come on, Matt, it can't be that bad- can it?"
*Depends if you thinking fucking somebody behind your back qualifies as 'bad'.*
There was still no reply from either of them, so Taichi added, "Please?"
"Al-alright…" Matt answered while biting his lip.
*…He has the right to know…*
"Last night." He started while running his fingers through his hair, "-After I left… I was walking…"
"Yeah?" Tai said, moving closer, but not in an aggressive fashion. He meant to give Yamato some sort of assertion. "Go on…"
"I went near the river for a while- stumbling around, feeling lost. Nothing seemed familiar to me; just blurred. After staying out for at least an hour- I soon found myself at the train station. To my surprise, Ken was there. He wanted directions to Miyako's house… I asked him if he would like to come to my place, and then I would take him there in the morning."
Now Taichi had began to advance away from the other, not really knowing what he was going to say next. He could only pray that the next phrase would be in his favor.
"While he was there- I…" Yamato squeezed his hands together tightly to escape the fleeting culpability. "…I kissed him…"
"What!?" Tai asked, feeling a fountain of rage starting to pulsate from inside of him.
"Let me finish!" Matt screamed in frustration. "There's-there's more…"
His voice was beginning to crack and stutter, though he wasn't able to dominate it, or make it stop.
"We started making out… and- I told him that I…"
Another pause.
"…Loved him…"
This time it was Tai's turn to start shudder in agitation. This meeting wasn't working to his advantage- instead it was blowing up in his face.
*Please say that's all… Don't let there be anything else…*
"He didn't know what he was doing- and… we actually had sex. I sucked him into it…He- didn't understand what was happening… Well, he knew we were doing it… but he actually thought I meant it…"
Tai's whole figure was numb. Frozen over. He couldn't feel anything- or hear anything else that was being said. "You- why??" He asked urgently.
"I didn't mean to~!" Matt defended, "I was-"
"Oh yeah, I'm sure." Tai said back, "You 'didn't mean to'! Now, try to explain to me how you can go and fuck somebody and have it be a complete goddamned accident?!!? 'I'm sorry, I just fucking 'fell' into bed with him!"
"Don't put this all on my shoulders~!" Matt retorted instantly, both of them feeling anger augmenting at an unhealthy pace, "It's not like this was all my fau-"
"Don't tell me you're going to try and get me to believe that this *isn't* all your fault!!" Taichi answered loudly, "You went and got into bed with him! We get in *one* fight and then you go and sleep with somebody else!! I'm sure this is all *my* mistake~!"
"You *hurt* me!!" Yamato shot back, "I spent five hours crying on top of a bridge because of you~! I thought that you wanted things to be over between us~!"
"It looks like that wasn't the 'only' thing you were on top of last night!" Tai said slyly, his eyes blaring in at the other.
"You said it was a fucking fling, Tai~!" Matt said with his voice cracking again from all the yelling. "How do you think I felt?!? Maybe if you hadn't gone and said that- it wouldn't have happened, but it *did*! I came over to tell you that. I could have just gone ahead and lied to you, but I *didn't*, because I thought you deserved to know!"
"Gee, thanks." Tai said with a sarcastic accent, "I feel really honored. My boyfriend went and screwed somebody else, and then he decided to tell be about it! That's just - great. What was the point? Come over to tell me that you'd like to go and start doing kids the same age as your brother?"
"Shut up!" Yamato shouted in fury, "I didn't-"
"No, Matt…" Taichi said sounding off-handed. "You see, the point is that you *did*- and so now-"
"Will you just listen to me?!?" Matt cried back, starting to feel demolished. He reached out an arm and touched the brim of his friend's shirt but the second the fabric and his skin collided, he felt a hand clenched over his.
"Don't *ever* touch me again." Tai said coldly.
Yamato tried to pull away, but once again he was stuck in the other's grasp. "Let go…" he asked in a barren murmur.
"You're a slut." The other said suddenly and catching Matt off guard. "You're a goddamned fucking slut."
"Look, Tai-" he answered, trying to guard himself, "I-"
"Don't talk to me!!" Tai screamed shrilly, "You're a FUCKING slut! I HATE you, Yamato! I! HATE! YOU! You're a dirty whore who'll screw pretty much anybody who walks up to you!! I thought what we had was important to *both* of us- but I guess I was wrong! I thought all of this was my fault- and that as soon as I apologized, things would be back to normal! Boy, was I off…" He wiped his forehead with his hand.
"Stop it…" Matt said, attempting to free himself another time.
"I'm not finished!!!" Tai yelled furiously. "I let you finish what you had to say, and now it's my turn!!!" He pulled Yamato's face right in front of his as he spit out the words, "I wanted you to understand what I felt about you…Didn't I mean anything- to you??"
Matt didn't dare to speak, it was too terrified to say anything. He had never seen Tai so upset in his life and he didn't know what he was going to do next. He didn't know whether to try and run- to stay and listen- to call for help…
"I…"
Tai's eyes had begun to emit tears down his face as he choked out the words, "I thought that you loved me too… I thought you cared…" He abruptly let go of Matt and covered his face from view.
"Tai…" Matt begun, "I *do* love you… I really do…but-"
"Just go away…" The chestnut haired boy choked out, "Go away, Yamato…"
"Please…" the taller of the two begged over and over again, "I'm sorry, Tai…I didn't mean to… I'm sorry~!"
"I hate you!!" Tai tried to yell, but his scream was engulfed by sobs. "I-hate…you…"
*If I actually hated him, then I wouldn't be shedding these tiny droplets of water, would I?*
Matt touched his shoulder, but once again it was shunned aside.
"I told you not to touch me, you dirty bitch~!"
The older one saw that there was no longer any point in staying here- there was no negotiating to be done. As far as he could tell, it looked as if the relationship had died midstream in what should have been one of the most memorial times of his life.
"Goodbye, Tai…" he said softly, while pulling the door open so that he could leave. He waited for a reply, even if it was an obscenity, but there was none. He exited with a heavy heart and his own streams of tears beginning to develop on his cheeks.
"Goodbye, Yamato."
***
I was going to put something else in there with Ken and Davish, but I decided to leave it. ^^;;
Remember, Sparky!
~Reviews are like presents!! Nice to give away, but even better to receive!~
Please review!
***
Sun washed over the blonde's hair as he pounded anxiously at the door in front of him. His clenched fists hit once, twice, again and again, but despite his frustration, no one answered.
*Goddamned it!! Why the hell won't they open their fucking door?!?*
At last, he heard the sound of someone shuffling towards the exit and then the opening swung open. Mrs. Kamiya stood in front of him with an expression that showed only irritation- though she still tried to put on a pleasant smile as she said, "Hello, Matt, how are you this morning?" She had been stuck with the task of trying to balance a heap of dirty dishes with one hand as well as keeping the door open though she was starting to fail. There was a loud crash as the dishes spilled onto the ground, so Yamato leaned over to help her pick some of the cracked glass, though not being careful enough to avoid the shape edges.
"Oh dear, are you alright? You're fingers bleeding-"
"Don't worry~!" He cried while shoving his hands into his pockets and trying to avoid interrogations. "I'm sure it'll heal in no time. Um- is Tai here?"
"Tai?" She repeated as if trying to figure out why he'd be so eager to visit her son that early in the morning. "Yeah- I think he's in his room…He hasn't come out since breakfast."
"Thank you~!" He replied with a quick bow then dashed into the household at breaking speed.
He skidded on the wooden floor and almost missed the door to the brunette's room completely. Taking the time to try and get over the large pit that had initialed itself in his stomach, he took a deep breath and let his knuckles knock gently on the door.
The first sight he saw when the entrance flew open was a tanned skin boy who looked more like he was 6 instead of 16, as his eyes seemed as if they had been dyed crimson. He appeared to have been kicked or beaten. The twist in Yamato's stomach grew.
"Mom- I already-"
Taichi stopped the second that he noticed who it was who had knocked on his door. The look on his face changed from displeasure to the exact opposite.
"Matt!!" He said in a strained whisper while grabbing the dark jacket and pulling the other into his room.
Yamato stared around at the room and saw that the lights were gone- just as before, while they blinds had been closed. Feeling his panic rise, he struggled to break the hold that Tai had on his arm but it was no good. Tai was an athlete- he wasn't. "Stop it, Tai…" He said, trying to pry the fingers off of him. "I can't- not right now…"
"Calm down. I'm not trying to make any moves." Taichi responded bluntly and thoroughly straightforward; though he released Matt from his grasp. "I just want to talk. No; actually, I *need* to talk."
The only reason Yamato had come over was to tell his friend what had happened so that he could get it off his chest. He wouldn't care if Tai didn't talk to him for a while- he had expected that. He didn't care if Tai never wanted to talk to him again. Well- actually, he'd *care*, but he'd understand why he had taken the actions. He had done one of the worst things he could've done to their relationship, and he knew it. Tai deserved better then him.
So, why the hell did he have to make it so difficult?! Matt didn't want to talk- he wanted to get the heartache over with. He wanted to be done with the guilt that had been harassing his mind non-stop ever since that night before.
"Tai…" He started, "I-"
"Shh…" Tai interrupted, lifting his index finger to his mouth. "Just listen."
Matt sighed in discomfort then looked up at the ceiling nervously. "Alright…" he said quietly.
"I didn't know how to say this before…" Tai started slowly, collecting Yamato's shaking hands in his own. "But ever since yesterday, I've been thinking about it- so now I've got some idea…
"Ever since I met you- I always knew that I was closer to you than the other kids. I don't know why- I just did. Sure, we fought a hell of a lot, but we still- connected, you know?"
Matt's whole body was still quivering. "Yeah." He replied with his eyes glued to the floor. "I know." The lump grew some more.
"When we actually started-" He paused a second then said, "-You know... getting together… I didn't know why I was doing it. It's not like I had ever liked guys before or anything like that. Hell, for the longest time- I thought I almost had a thing for Sora. But with you- it was…" His voice was suddenly placid. "…different…"
*Stop it…* Yamato begged silently, *Please, just stop it….*
"Look- what I said before- I just said it because I was confused. I didn't understand how I actually felt about you. The truth is- I hate being away from you- or knowing that you're angry with me. I thought I had lost you- I really did. But now that you're here, I just have to tell you that I *do* cherish your company. I want to be able to take care of you, Yamato. I-"
"Stop it, Tai…", Matt said finally, causing Taichi to take a step back, "Just- don't say anything else…"
But the brunette ignored the warning then blurted, "Yamato… I *love* you."
His face shone with such anticipation that the blonde could almost feel his heart shatter from inside of him. Why did he have to love him now!? Why couldn't have just told him this before!? Then none of it would have happened…
"Stop it!!" Matt cried out again, jerking his hands away and hiding them behind his back. "You don't even know what you're saying!" For some reason he felt himself still shivering out of control.
Though he was slightly shaken from the curt words that spouted from Yamato's mouth, Tai wasn't prepared to give up that easily.
"No… you see, that's just it-" he answered as if he had a great secret he was trying to explain to his friend, that nobody else knew, "I actually *do* know what I'm saying! Everything I said- it's true!" His mouth was left in a large grin as he waited eagerly for a response. Confident expectations had claimed him while his mind was put into a state of pure ecstasy.
Yamato said nothing. He couldn't. It was impossible for him to put into words what he was feeling- for fear of injuring the other.
"Well-??" Tai asked, seeing that the reaction wasn't quite as he had hoped it would have been. He had foreseen at least an 'I love you' back, or something of that sort, but so far things were looking desolate.
*Maybe I said it too soon… He wasn't ready… Or maybe he just doesn't want to commit to *me*… I mean after all… I've been such a fucking idiot lately…*
"What's the matter?" He inquired in a bare whisper, "Did I-"
"No…" Matt interrupted, "It was nothing that you did. I'm just-"
"Just *what*?" Tai asked quickly. "Something's bothering you… Why don't you just tell me-"
Yamato stopped talking and began to play with his fingers. "It's not that I don't want to tell you…It's just- I don't think I can… at least not now-"
"Why not?" Tai demanded, though still in a good-natured tone. The blonde began answer but he stopped him by saying, "Come on, Matt, it can't be that bad- can it?"
*Depends if you thinking fucking somebody behind your back qualifies as 'bad'.*
There was still no reply from either of them, so Taichi added, "Please?"
"Al-alright…" Matt answered while biting his lip.
*…He has the right to know…*
"Last night." He started while running his fingers through his hair, "-After I left… I was walking…"
"Yeah?" Tai said, moving closer, but not in an aggressive fashion. He meant to give Yamato some sort of assertion. "Go on…"
"I went near the river for a while- stumbling around, feeling lost. Nothing seemed familiar to me; just blurred. After staying out for at least an hour- I soon found myself at the train station. To my surprise, Ken was there. He wanted directions to Miyako's house… I asked him if he would like to come to my place, and then I would take him there in the morning."
Now Taichi had began to advance away from the other, not really knowing what he was going to say next. He could only pray that the next phrase would be in his favor.
"While he was there- I…" Yamato squeezed his hands together tightly to escape the fleeting culpability. "…I kissed him…"
"What!?" Tai asked, feeling a fountain of rage starting to pulsate from inside of him.
"Let me finish!" Matt screamed in frustration. "There's-there's more…"
His voice was beginning to crack and stutter, though he wasn't able to dominate it, or make it stop.
"We started making out… and- I told him that I…"
Another pause.
"…Loved him…"
This time it was Tai's turn to start shudder in agitation. This meeting wasn't working to his advantage- instead it was blowing up in his face.
*Please say that's all… Don't let there be anything else…*
"He didn't know what he was doing- and… we actually had sex. I sucked him into it…He- didn't understand what was happening… Well, he knew we were doing it… but he actually thought I meant it…"
Tai's whole figure was numb. Frozen over. He couldn't feel anything- or hear anything else that was being said. "You- why??" He asked urgently.
"I didn't mean to~!" Matt defended, "I was-"
"Oh yeah, I'm sure." Tai said back, "You 'didn't mean to'! Now, try to explain to me how you can go and fuck somebody and have it be a complete goddamned accident?!!? 'I'm sorry, I just fucking 'fell' into bed with him!"
"Don't put this all on my shoulders~!" Matt retorted instantly, both of them feeling anger augmenting at an unhealthy pace, "It's not like this was all my fau-"
"Don't tell me you're going to try and get me to believe that this *isn't* all your fault!!" Taichi answered loudly, "You went and got into bed with him! We get in *one* fight and then you go and sleep with somebody else!! I'm sure this is all *my* mistake~!"
"You *hurt* me!!" Yamato shot back, "I spent five hours crying on top of a bridge because of you~! I thought that you wanted things to be over between us~!"
"It looks like that wasn't the 'only' thing you were on top of last night!" Tai said slyly, his eyes blaring in at the other.
"You said it was a fucking fling, Tai~!" Matt said with his voice cracking again from all the yelling. "How do you think I felt?!? Maybe if you hadn't gone and said that- it wouldn't have happened, but it *did*! I came over to tell you that. I could have just gone ahead and lied to you, but I *didn't*, because I thought you deserved to know!"
"Gee, thanks." Tai said with a sarcastic accent, "I feel really honored. My boyfriend went and screwed somebody else, and then he decided to tell be about it! That's just - great. What was the point? Come over to tell me that you'd like to go and start doing kids the same age as your brother?"
"Shut up!" Yamato shouted in fury, "I didn't-"
"No, Matt…" Taichi said sounding off-handed. "You see, the point is that you *did*- and so now-"
"Will you just listen to me?!?" Matt cried back, starting to feel demolished. He reached out an arm and touched the brim of his friend's shirt but the second the fabric and his skin collided, he felt a hand clenched over his.
"Don't *ever* touch me again." Tai said coldly.
Yamato tried to pull away, but once again he was stuck in the other's grasp. "Let go…" he asked in a barren murmur.
"You're a slut." The other said suddenly and catching Matt off guard. "You're a goddamned fucking slut."
"Look, Tai-" he answered, trying to guard himself, "I-"
"Don't talk to me!!" Tai screamed shrilly, "You're a FUCKING slut! I HATE you, Yamato! I! HATE! YOU! You're a dirty whore who'll screw pretty much anybody who walks up to you!! I thought what we had was important to *both* of us- but I guess I was wrong! I thought all of this was my fault- and that as soon as I apologized, things would be back to normal! Boy, was I off…" He wiped his forehead with his hand.
"Stop it…" Matt said, attempting to free himself another time.
"I'm not finished!!!" Tai yelled furiously. "I let you finish what you had to say, and now it's my turn!!!" He pulled Yamato's face right in front of his as he spit out the words, "I wanted you to understand what I felt about you…Didn't I mean anything- to you??"
Matt didn't dare to speak, it was too terrified to say anything. He had never seen Tai so upset in his life and he didn't know what he was going to do next. He didn't know whether to try and run- to stay and listen- to call for help…
"I…"
Tai's eyes had begun to emit tears down his face as he choked out the words, "I thought that you loved me too… I thought you cared…" He abruptly let go of Matt and covered his face from view.
"Tai…" Matt begun, "I *do* love you… I really do…but-"
"Just go away…" The chestnut haired boy choked out, "Go away, Yamato…"
"Please…" the taller of the two begged over and over again, "I'm sorry, Tai…I didn't mean to… I'm sorry~!"
"I hate you!!" Tai tried to yell, but his scream was engulfed by sobs. "I-hate…you…"
*If I actually hated him, then I wouldn't be shedding these tiny droplets of water, would I?*
Matt touched his shoulder, but once again it was shunned aside.
"I told you not to touch me, you dirty bitch~!"
The older one saw that there was no longer any point in staying here- there was no negotiating to be done. As far as he could tell, it looked as if the relationship had died midstream in what should have been one of the most memorial times of his life.
"Goodbye, Tai…" he said softly, while pulling the door open so that he could leave. He waited for a reply, even if it was an obscenity, but there was none. He exited with a heavy heart and his own streams of tears beginning to develop on his cheeks.
"Goodbye, Yamato."
***
I was going to put something else in there with Ken and Davish, but I decided to leave it. ^^;;
Remember, Sparky!
~Reviews are like presents!! Nice to give away, but even better to receive!~
Please review!