Wrong choices
"Abby" Carter gently touched her shoulder "Are you awake?" He glanced at the alarm clock by Abby, and saw that it read 5:45am. He waited for a response before asking again "Abby"
"What?" She rolled over and rubbed her eyes "It's the middle of the night"
"Sorry. I think we should talk" He took her hand and played with her delicate fingers
"About what?" She opened her eyes and looked at him. Whenever she had heard the words 'We need to talk' before, it usually signalled the end of a relationship or a confession which would then lead to the ending of a relationship. It always brought bad news.
"Where do you see us headed? I mean do we have a future together. I really like you Abby, but I get the feeling that you.... That you're not as committed as I am"
"What makes you say that?" She looked confused, and rubbed her eye. She had just been woken up and she now faced a long conversation about their relationship.
"Well, we've been going out for what 6 or 7 months now and we don't seem to be progressing. We haven't discussed the future at all. We alternate between sleeping at my house or your apartment and that's about it" He looked at her and he could tell she was thinking
"What's wrong with the way we are? We have fun and get on well. Why do we need to change?" She was shocked, she couldn't understand why Carter felt the need to change things, and to be honest she didn't want to commit to anything at the moment. She had some doubts about her relationship with Carter, and her divorce had only been finalised for a year. Her mother was settled, taking her medication and she had good friends at work. She resented the thought of change
"Is this what its going to be like forever? We work, go out for dinner or order take-out, we have sex and go to sleep. You don't talk to me, you talk to Luka" He surprised himself at the way he spat out Luka. It made him look like he hated him, but he didn't, he just resented him because Abby felt able to talk to him. He knew that Luka liked Abby, more than a friend and he knew that there was a possibility that Abby felt the same, but he didn't know what to do. He looked at Abby and she was playing with the edge of the quilt, not looking up at him.
"Luka is my friend. I don't see why you have a problem with it. And at the moment, I'm happy with the way things are. I don't want to change things" She looked at the clock. 6:00am. She hoped Carter didn't say 'I love you', or 'Do you love?' She didn't want to lie to him, or hurt him but she didn't love. She was having doubts about their relationship, yet he seemed to be getting more serious
He took her hand "I don't have a problem with you and Luka. Really" He looked at her, trying to convince her, and himself "Lets live together" He surprised himself, he didn't mean to say that. He'd been thinking about it, but he hadn't meant to say it aloud. He watched her shocked face for a reaction.
"Wow. I don't know what to say. I… I mean.. We.. " She paused, and looked at him. He was biting his lip, which he did when he was nervous. She didn't want to hurt him, but living together? "I really don't know what to say. I... We've never discussed anything like this. I'll have to think about it...I... we... Do you mind?" She was truly shocked, and scared. Why did he have to complicate things?
"Of course I don't mind" he smiled "I know this is unexpected. I shocked myself by saying it, but I think it would be a good thing for us"
She looked at the clock. 6:10am. Did she want to live with him? She knew it would be better then living with Richa...6:10am? Shit. She had to be at work for half past. She jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom
"Carter, I'm sorry. I've gotta be at work in like 20 minutes. You're on at 10am, aren't you?' She asked whilst frantically brushing her teeth
"Yeah" He worked into the bathroom and placed her scrubs on the radiator whilst she combed her hair.
"Thanks" she said, "We'll talk later OK?"
"Sure" he planted a kiss on her cheek "I'm going back to bed for a bit"
A few minutes later, she ran out the bathroom, gave him a quick kiss goodbye, grabbed her bag and ran out the apartment. She sat on the El and thought. She didn't want to live with Carter. She liked things the way they were.
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She sipped the steaming coffee and wrapped her hands round it for warmth. She watched though the windows of the doctor's lounge as another trauma. It was 12 noon and she was on her lunch break, though she was anything but hungry. She had spoken to Carter briefly but she was secretly thankful that the many traumas had kept them both busy and separated. She had spoken to Luka, and told him about Carter but he had been called away. She liked Luka. He was caring, considerate, compassionate, good on the eyes and had a good sense of humour, everything you needed in a friend, and a possible life partner. What? What had she jut thought? She was dating Carter, she shouldn't be thinking of Luka in this way. She liked Carter as well. He was cute, caring and he would take care of her. She left the lounge, still holding her coffee and headed for the roof. She needed to think.
She stared out at the skyline. She could make out the river and the constant sound of sirens from the ambulance bay below made her head ache but she liked it here. She could think without interruption as few people came up here. In fact she had only ever seen Luka up here. She was alone today, her, a cup of coffee and a few pigeons were the only souls on County roof.
She sat and thought. Silently she weighed up the pros and cons. Carter cared about her, and she knew he would protect her. He was a good man, and she had known few of those in her life. Her mother had always picked the bad ones, yet she had always told her and Eric that their father was the best. Carter wouldn't cheat on her, like Richard had, and he would support her. Despite thinking about all the positive things, an uneasy feeling still inhabited her stomach. Maybe it was fear, she had committed herself to Richard and he had taken advantage of her. Carter wouldn't do that, he was...
"Abby" she recognised the European accent
"Hey" she said
"What are you doing here?" he asked
"Thinking, is it still chaos down there?"
"Well. We haven't had any traumas in around half an hour but Weaver is gonna fire Dave at any second and we are down 2 nurses but its OK. Thinking about you and Carter?" He knew the answer before he asked the question, but he still asked
She nodded "I don't want to live with him" she said quietly as she turned and gazed at the city
"Tell him, He might be hurt but he'll be grateful that you've been honest with him"
"I will but I... I..." she paused
"You don't have to tell me" he sat down next to her
"I don't want to be with him anymore" she whispered, as this was the first time she had admitted what she was feeling
"You should tell him" He looked at her, and looked at her pretty face. Angst was painted across her face and how he wished he could scoop her up and take care of her, but he knew that he couldn't. Despite the strong feelings he felt for her, he didn't want to risk their friendship by telling her how he felt. He wanted her in his life, even if it was only as his friend
"I know. I like him, he's been so good to me but it doesn't feel right anymore. I think I've been kidding myself, trying to force myself into liking him but I can't anymore. I need to tell him, but I don't want to hurt him. He deserves better than me"
"Abby just because you are ending a relationship doesn't make you a bad person. In fact it makes you a better one because you are being honest and preventing more hurt being done" He put his hand on her arm as he spoke "I'm always here for you, if you need me, you know that, don't you?"
She looked at him "Thank you Luka. I don't know what I would do without you"
"Well considering how much coffee you drink and how many cigarettes you smoke, you'd probably overdose on caffeine and nicotine" he joked
"I drink the same amount of coffee as the next person, and I only smoke occasionally." she laughed "How did your date go last night?" She felt the smile leave her face as she asked him. She hoped it would be bad, yet this made her feel worse. Luka was her friend, and she wanted him to be happy yet the thought of him with another woman upset her more than she had first thought.
"Well, lets just say it was a new experience" he smiled
"That bad?"
He nodded "But hey, at least I got to go the opera for the first time of my life. I can honestly say it will be the last time of my life, but at least I got to go"
She laughed
"I hate the opera. It's painful. I should go, Weaver will fire Dave and me if I don't return and I need to talk to Carter. Thanks again"
"Ok, see you later, and remember you know where I am night or day if you need me, "
"Thanks. I may take you up on this, I have the feeling that I'm not only dumping a boyfriend but I'm losing a friend as well" She opened the door to the stairs "See you later"
"Bye" he called
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"Dr Weaver, Have you seen Carter" Abby asked
"He suturing some in Curtain 4 I think, he might need a hand"
"Thanks" she turned and walked down the hall
She opened the door and say Carter peering at a big open wound an a unconscious bikers leg "Hey"
"Hi" he said, looking up.
"We need to talk" she said quietly...
"Abby" Carter gently touched her shoulder "Are you awake?" He glanced at the alarm clock by Abby, and saw that it read 5:45am. He waited for a response before asking again "Abby"
"What?" She rolled over and rubbed her eyes "It's the middle of the night"
"Sorry. I think we should talk" He took her hand and played with her delicate fingers
"About what?" She opened her eyes and looked at him. Whenever she had heard the words 'We need to talk' before, it usually signalled the end of a relationship or a confession which would then lead to the ending of a relationship. It always brought bad news.
"Where do you see us headed? I mean do we have a future together. I really like you Abby, but I get the feeling that you.... That you're not as committed as I am"
"What makes you say that?" She looked confused, and rubbed her eye. She had just been woken up and she now faced a long conversation about their relationship.
"Well, we've been going out for what 6 or 7 months now and we don't seem to be progressing. We haven't discussed the future at all. We alternate between sleeping at my house or your apartment and that's about it" He looked at her and he could tell she was thinking
"What's wrong with the way we are? We have fun and get on well. Why do we need to change?" She was shocked, she couldn't understand why Carter felt the need to change things, and to be honest she didn't want to commit to anything at the moment. She had some doubts about her relationship with Carter, and her divorce had only been finalised for a year. Her mother was settled, taking her medication and she had good friends at work. She resented the thought of change
"Is this what its going to be like forever? We work, go out for dinner or order take-out, we have sex and go to sleep. You don't talk to me, you talk to Luka" He surprised himself at the way he spat out Luka. It made him look like he hated him, but he didn't, he just resented him because Abby felt able to talk to him. He knew that Luka liked Abby, more than a friend and he knew that there was a possibility that Abby felt the same, but he didn't know what to do. He looked at Abby and she was playing with the edge of the quilt, not looking up at him.
"Luka is my friend. I don't see why you have a problem with it. And at the moment, I'm happy with the way things are. I don't want to change things" She looked at the clock. 6:00am. She hoped Carter didn't say 'I love you', or 'Do you love?' She didn't want to lie to him, or hurt him but she didn't love. She was having doubts about their relationship, yet he seemed to be getting more serious
He took her hand "I don't have a problem with you and Luka. Really" He looked at her, trying to convince her, and himself "Lets live together" He surprised himself, he didn't mean to say that. He'd been thinking about it, but he hadn't meant to say it aloud. He watched her shocked face for a reaction.
"Wow. I don't know what to say. I… I mean.. We.. " She paused, and looked at him. He was biting his lip, which he did when he was nervous. She didn't want to hurt him, but living together? "I really don't know what to say. I... We've never discussed anything like this. I'll have to think about it...I... we... Do you mind?" She was truly shocked, and scared. Why did he have to complicate things?
"Of course I don't mind" he smiled "I know this is unexpected. I shocked myself by saying it, but I think it would be a good thing for us"
She looked at the clock. 6:10am. Did she want to live with him? She knew it would be better then living with Richa...6:10am? Shit. She had to be at work for half past. She jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom
"Carter, I'm sorry. I've gotta be at work in like 20 minutes. You're on at 10am, aren't you?' She asked whilst frantically brushing her teeth
"Yeah" He worked into the bathroom and placed her scrubs on the radiator whilst she combed her hair.
"Thanks" she said, "We'll talk later OK?"
"Sure" he planted a kiss on her cheek "I'm going back to bed for a bit"
A few minutes later, she ran out the bathroom, gave him a quick kiss goodbye, grabbed her bag and ran out the apartment. She sat on the El and thought. She didn't want to live with Carter. She liked things the way they were.
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She sipped the steaming coffee and wrapped her hands round it for warmth. She watched though the windows of the doctor's lounge as another trauma. It was 12 noon and she was on her lunch break, though she was anything but hungry. She had spoken to Carter briefly but she was secretly thankful that the many traumas had kept them both busy and separated. She had spoken to Luka, and told him about Carter but he had been called away. She liked Luka. He was caring, considerate, compassionate, good on the eyes and had a good sense of humour, everything you needed in a friend, and a possible life partner. What? What had she jut thought? She was dating Carter, she shouldn't be thinking of Luka in this way. She liked Carter as well. He was cute, caring and he would take care of her. She left the lounge, still holding her coffee and headed for the roof. She needed to think.
She stared out at the skyline. She could make out the river and the constant sound of sirens from the ambulance bay below made her head ache but she liked it here. She could think without interruption as few people came up here. In fact she had only ever seen Luka up here. She was alone today, her, a cup of coffee and a few pigeons were the only souls on County roof.
She sat and thought. Silently she weighed up the pros and cons. Carter cared about her, and she knew he would protect her. He was a good man, and she had known few of those in her life. Her mother had always picked the bad ones, yet she had always told her and Eric that their father was the best. Carter wouldn't cheat on her, like Richard had, and he would support her. Despite thinking about all the positive things, an uneasy feeling still inhabited her stomach. Maybe it was fear, she had committed herself to Richard and he had taken advantage of her. Carter wouldn't do that, he was...
"Abby" she recognised the European accent
"Hey" she said
"What are you doing here?" he asked
"Thinking, is it still chaos down there?"
"Well. We haven't had any traumas in around half an hour but Weaver is gonna fire Dave at any second and we are down 2 nurses but its OK. Thinking about you and Carter?" He knew the answer before he asked the question, but he still asked
She nodded "I don't want to live with him" she said quietly as she turned and gazed at the city
"Tell him, He might be hurt but he'll be grateful that you've been honest with him"
"I will but I... I..." she paused
"You don't have to tell me" he sat down next to her
"I don't want to be with him anymore" she whispered, as this was the first time she had admitted what she was feeling
"You should tell him" He looked at her, and looked at her pretty face. Angst was painted across her face and how he wished he could scoop her up and take care of her, but he knew that he couldn't. Despite the strong feelings he felt for her, he didn't want to risk their friendship by telling her how he felt. He wanted her in his life, even if it was only as his friend
"I know. I like him, he's been so good to me but it doesn't feel right anymore. I think I've been kidding myself, trying to force myself into liking him but I can't anymore. I need to tell him, but I don't want to hurt him. He deserves better than me"
"Abby just because you are ending a relationship doesn't make you a bad person. In fact it makes you a better one because you are being honest and preventing more hurt being done" He put his hand on her arm as he spoke "I'm always here for you, if you need me, you know that, don't you?"
She looked at him "Thank you Luka. I don't know what I would do without you"
"Well considering how much coffee you drink and how many cigarettes you smoke, you'd probably overdose on caffeine and nicotine" he joked
"I drink the same amount of coffee as the next person, and I only smoke occasionally." she laughed "How did your date go last night?" She felt the smile leave her face as she asked him. She hoped it would be bad, yet this made her feel worse. Luka was her friend, and she wanted him to be happy yet the thought of him with another woman upset her more than she had first thought.
"Well, lets just say it was a new experience" he smiled
"That bad?"
He nodded "But hey, at least I got to go the opera for the first time of my life. I can honestly say it will be the last time of my life, but at least I got to go"
She laughed
"I hate the opera. It's painful. I should go, Weaver will fire Dave and me if I don't return and I need to talk to Carter. Thanks again"
"Ok, see you later, and remember you know where I am night or day if you need me, "
"Thanks. I may take you up on this, I have the feeling that I'm not only dumping a boyfriend but I'm losing a friend as well" She opened the door to the stairs "See you later"
"Bye" he called
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"Dr Weaver, Have you seen Carter" Abby asked
"He suturing some in Curtain 4 I think, he might need a hand"
"Thanks" she turned and walked down the hall
She opened the door and say Carter peering at a big open wound an a unconscious bikers leg "Hey"
"Hi" he said, looking up.
"We need to talk" she said quietly...