"Ok" He replied not looking up, concentration painted across his brow.
She sat down on a nearby stool, before she fell down. She really didn't want to hurt Carter but she felt the need to be honest with him.
"Are you OK?" He gazed at her before continuing stitching the gaping wound lay out in front of him.
"I'm fine. I don't know how to say this so I'm just going to come out with it. I think we should break up," she said, whilst looking at him for a reaction. "I'm sorry"
"What?" He had expected Abby to say she didn't want them to move in together but he hadn't expected this. "Abby?" he placed the equipment he was holding down on the table and turned to face her "Is this because I suggested we live together? Because if it is, I really don't mind if you don't want to. I thought it would be good for us but if you're not ready, I don't mind."
"No. It's not because of that, I just feel like our relationship has run its course. I'm sorry. I..." She stared down at her hands
"Abby I love you, don't do this. We could be happy together"
"No John, we cant. Don't you see? I love you too, but not in the way you want me to. Your one of the closest friends I have and you've been probably the nicest boyfriend I've ever had but it doesn't feel right anymore. Its not fair to let you believe that everything is OK when it isn't"
"What's not OK? We have fun, and we get on well"
"You said it yourself this morning 'We eat, have sex and sleep' that's it. I just… I'm sorry."
Carter started getting angry and raising his voice "For gods sake Abby! I've been trying to get closer to you and you just keep pushing me away. Don't make this sound like it is my fault because it's not"
"I never said it was you fault! Why won't you listen to me?"
He stood up and started pacing, which made Abby feel like a schoolgirl in trouble. "I've tried to support you and be there for you. I've tried to make our relationship more serious but you keep pushing me away. Why can't you trust me? I don't think I've treated you badly. I've supported you with your mother, cared for you, listened to you when you can be bothered to talk to me" His voice was getting louder and louder, and he emphasised the part about her not talking to him. She knew other people would be able to hear the disagreement, in fact she saw Elizabeth and Mark watching. She glared at them and they turned and walked away slowly, still listening. They'd be today's gossip but at this moment she didn't care. People would soon find out that they were no longer an item.
This hurt Abby "Well, I'm sorry if I find it difficult to talk to people but that's the way I am. I don't see the need to change, and you shouldn't keep trying to change me! And what exactly do you want me to say to you? "
"You could tell me how you feel about things, or what you think! You shouldn't bottle up your emotions or you are going to become an even more emotionally dysfunctional person than you already are!"
"Listen Carter, I think I should go and you should calm down before we both say things we don't mean!" She stood up slowly, tried to conceal the hurt that was welling up inside her. She desperately wanted to reply to what he had just said but she didn't, she kept her dignity and remained tight-lipped.
"Is their someone else?"
"What? For fucks sake Carter."
"Luka. I bet he has something to do with this"
"Carter now you're being ridiculous and pathetic. Why do you have to bring Luka into everything? He's my friend, so what? I don't criticise your friends or assume that you are cheating me! Grow up!"
"Well I'm sorry, Abby. I'm just finding this a little hard to believe. Ok I admit that I thought you were a little less committed than me but I never expected you to turn round and dump me, and now when I try to find out why, you call me ridiculous and pathetic! I don't understand why? We get on well and we've rarely fight"
"Carter can't you just except that our relationship is over? "
"Fine. I'm going. I thought you were a caring person Abby," he said as he walked towards the door "I've never seen this side to you before and to be honest I don't like it! I never knew you could be so cold and cruel. I'm glad you've ended this because this discussion has shown me how heartless you really are!" He walked out the room and slammed the door, leaving Abby on her own. It hadn't gone well but what did she expect? Breaking up with someone always hurt at least one person and she had achieved this. She assumed she would cry, as even though she had ended the relationship but she didn't feel anything. Was she an emotionally dysfunctional person? She felt she could talk to Luka. She didn't know why, he made her feel safe and she got the impression that she could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge her. Was she really a cruel and heartless person? Honesty was always the best policy but at this moment she was starting to think that she should have kept her mouth shut.
She walked out the room feeling completely and utterly depressed. It was the end of her shift, as she was only covering for Chuni, and Luka had already left. She wanted to talk to him but she didn't know if she should go. She desperately wanted to download all the troubles building up inside her, but what if he turned her away. People had always made excuses when she tried to confide in them, various people had done it throughout her life so she rarely bothered trying now. He had said he was there is she needed him and she really needed his support right now, but had he meant it? One thing circled round her mind, should she go and find out, or should she go home alone?