(with apologies to Lewis Carroll
and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle)



"You are wise, Mister Holmes," young Hopkins insists,
"and myself to your cause, I'll devote if
you'll tell me who killed poor young Willoughby Smith.
I can't even think of a motive."

"My dear Mister Hopkins," the master replies,
"kindly don't fawn and don't slobber.
The man was killed because he surprised
A short-sighted female robber."

* * *

"I've learnt well," boasts young Hopkins without any cares
"I know why they killed old Black Peter.
The murderer wanted to steal all his shares.
The answer just couldn't be neater."

"Alas Mister Hopkins, the answer is no.
Theft was the motive last time.
They rarely repeat themselves twice in a row
Anger is the cause of this crime."

* * *

"Last time, 'twas anger and it never recurs
in a row, the same motive twice.
Sir Eustace was killed by three burglars
who hid all their loot in the ice."

"That's right, and now if you have a plan,
arrest them. You shan't be a failure."
Holmes hasn't the heart to tell him the man
was actually killed by a sailor.