Part one
Spike stood beneath a jet of steaming water, scrubbing at his cold pale skin.
" Bloody Slayer" he cursed for the fifth time in as many minutes, the harder he scrubbed the angrier he became.
Snatching a bottle of bright yellow liquid from the bathroom shelf, Spike squeezed a large quantity into the palm of his hand and then worked a rich lather into his bleached blonde hair. As the soap bubbles cascaded down his face the vampire continued to massage them into his blistered skin.
It just wasn't working; no matter how hard Spike scrubbed he could still smell that bloody awful stench on his skin. He shuddered as the memory of the last few hours replayed in his head like a bad B movie.
*******
"SPIKE!... DUCK!" Xander had called out the warning loud enough but unfortunately, not quite in time. Small glass bottles of holy water had sailed across the room exploding just above Spike's head. The potentially fatal liquid splashed all over the vampire's leather duster, causing him to run screaming from the magic shop in agony.
Buffy, Riley and Xander had discovered him in the alley behind the shop a few minutes later, frantically ripping off his burning clothes. Hardly able to hide their amusement, the three humans walked towards the semi-naked vampire.
*****
Once outside in the cool night air, the only thought on Spike's mind was stopping his skin from melting. Quickly stripping down to his black jeans he was finally free of the vile burning liquid. But the pain in his badly blistered hands was agonising.
" Dammit all to hell " he muttered as he thrust his arms into a convenient barrel of rainwater close by. The vampire's burnt flesh hissed as it was submerged in cold water. Spike rested his head against the dank alley wall and sighed deeply.
Wondering for the millionth time when his life had turned to shit, the sorry looking vampire continued to sulk. Nothing ever went his way these days, Spike truly felt as if the whole world was against him and he knew **as long as he had that blasted chip in his head** there wasn't a sodding thing he could do about it.
The sound of approaching footsteps alerted the vampire's sensitive hearing to the presence of the Slayer and her sidekicks.
That's when his life had turned to dross.
**That bloody bitch and her pathetic boy toy, it was their entire fault. If he could just get this damn chip out of his skull he'd have the whole lot of them for dinner, especially the Slayer**
Spike turned, his face distorted with rage
" If you laugh I'll bleedin'..."
Howls of laughter cut off the end of Spike's empty threat
The dejected vampire reached down and picked up what was left of his still smouldering duster. He shook it a couple of times but the damage had already been done.
" It's not funny, just look what that sod's done to my clothes" he muttered through clenched teeth.
Buffy stifled the giggle that was bubbling inside her.
"Sorry, Spike. The owner thought you were a vampire he didn't realise you were there with us. He was trying to protect himself, he's really sorry" Buffy tried to offer an explanation as to why Spike had suddenly become target practice.
The only trouble was, Buffy's condescending tone was the final indignity
" What do you mean he thought I was a vampire...I AM A BLOODY VAMPIRE"
Spike exploded as his human face transformed into the demon beneath. He violently kicked out at the nearest trashcan, the loose lid flew down the alley crashing loudly, scaring a curious tomcat into the middle of next week.
Buffy bit down hard into her bottom lip as she continued.
" But Spike he thought you were a real vampire, he didn't know you've been... well you know" her eyebrows quirked
" De fanged?" Riley offered helpfully.
Buffy looked at her boyfriend and the pair burst into renewed laughter, the pathetic look on Spike's face just made the situation funnier.
Spike had never felt so humiliated in all his unlife.
** Well apart from the continuous ass kicking he'd received at the Slayer's hands over the years. Oh, and then there was the time that Drusilla left him for a chaos demon and then...**
"Enough" Spike slammed his wet hands against the shower wall in temper.
"Will this hell ever end?" he moaned in self-pity. Holding his hands up to his nose he shuddered in disgust.
"Ewwwwww"
** The rotten stink clung to his skin like a leech** with that thought the self-pity kicked in again ** Even leeches got more warm blood these days then he did** he reflected sadly.
Picking up the soap he continued with his scrubbing.
When Spike was satisfied that all traces of the holy water had left his skin he turned off the water. Grabbing one of Xander's large blue bath towels, he wrapped it around his trim waist.
At least Xander had cared enough about his injuries to offer the use of his shower.
**Saying that, he knew the little twit had offered more out of guilt then anything else**
After all was said and done, Spike had only been at the magic shop that night to help them out.
**Ok, he was being paid for his help but that wasn't the point. The last thing he'd expected was an Acid bath for his troubles. And, if that wasn't bad enough, the Slayer and that GI Joe reject had laughed themselves stupid**
Running a comb through his wet hair Spike watched in fascination as a small glass tumbler on the shelf in front of him started to vibrate. His interest grew as the glass jumped up and down and worked its way slowly to the end of the shelf where it proceeded to smash to the floor.
"Neat!" He grinned as the bottles on the above shelf joined in, within a few seconds the whole room was moving.
" Bloody hell it's an earthquake." Spike shouted and grabbed for his trousers. The last thing he needed was to be pulled from the rubble of Xander Harris's basement, naked. He had a reputation to consider and the bloody bitch of a Slayer would never let him hear the end of that one.
**But an earthquake, that would be just great. There hadn't been a really good 'quake for years ** Spike felt his adrenaline kick in at the thought of all those wonderful casualties.
**At last he might get a decent meal for a change and if he was really quick some of the dead might still be warm** Spike felt his poor empty stomach growl and licked his lips in anticipation.
Sadly, Spike's happiness was cut short when the bathroom floor began to swirl in front of him and totally ruined his earthquake theory. He was forced to hold onto the walls for support as the room shook more violently, his eyes then widened in surprise as a vortex appeared in the middle of the floor.
When the shaking eventually subsided Spike walked towards the swirling hole and curiously peered over the edge. He jerked back as a small dwarf like demon ascended.
" Wow! Now that's a really neat entrance" Spike laughed, he relaxed when he noticed the small demon seemed no obvious threat.
** Maybe dinner had arrived after all **
" You have been summoned, Vampire. *He* wants to see you at once"
Spike looked into the face of the small repulsive demon, apart from being **an ugly little sod** there was something very sinister about it. He looked closer and felt the intense heat it radiated. Spike was then drawn to the creature's face, in place of eyes there were just slits of burning fire.
This was a demon of the purest form, an infestation from hell itself.
" And does this *He* have a name" Spike didn't like the feel of this situation one little bit. He knew, only too well, that pure demons rarely left the nether world.
" Stop acting like an imbecile vampire. Stupidity will not be tolerated, so move yourself"
" Sorry shorty, but I'm a bit busy at the moment" Spike sneered at the creature.
** Who the hell did he think he was talking to? Spike was his own man, he didn't take orders from other demons especially when they were only four feet high**
" Then maybe I can help you change your mind" the demon raised an ugly claw and a bolt of fire shot straight at Spike. The nimble vampire threw himself across the bathroom straight into the wall to escape being fried for the second time that day.
" Okay, Okay, I get the picture" he reluctantly moved towards the edge of the vortex, the heat pouring through was amazing.
Turning around one last time to consider if escape was feasible Spike's eyes met the evil stare of the dwarf.
Spike knew he had two choices, Jump or be incinerated. He didn't fancy either.
Talking one last step he looked down at the swirling floor.
" Goodbye Piccadilly, farewell Leicester Bloody Square" He muttered and jumped in, followed closely by the demon.
Immediately the vortex closed.
TBC
Spike stood beneath a jet of steaming water, scrubbing at his cold pale skin.
" Bloody Slayer" he cursed for the fifth time in as many minutes, the harder he scrubbed the angrier he became.
Snatching a bottle of bright yellow liquid from the bathroom shelf, Spike squeezed a large quantity into the palm of his hand and then worked a rich lather into his bleached blonde hair. As the soap bubbles cascaded down his face the vampire continued to massage them into his blistered skin.
It just wasn't working; no matter how hard Spike scrubbed he could still smell that bloody awful stench on his skin. He shuddered as the memory of the last few hours replayed in his head like a bad B movie.
*******
"SPIKE!... DUCK!" Xander had called out the warning loud enough but unfortunately, not quite in time. Small glass bottles of holy water had sailed across the room exploding just above Spike's head. The potentially fatal liquid splashed all over the vampire's leather duster, causing him to run screaming from the magic shop in agony.
Buffy, Riley and Xander had discovered him in the alley behind the shop a few minutes later, frantically ripping off his burning clothes. Hardly able to hide their amusement, the three humans walked towards the semi-naked vampire.
*****
Once outside in the cool night air, the only thought on Spike's mind was stopping his skin from melting. Quickly stripping down to his black jeans he was finally free of the vile burning liquid. But the pain in his badly blistered hands was agonising.
" Dammit all to hell " he muttered as he thrust his arms into a convenient barrel of rainwater close by. The vampire's burnt flesh hissed as it was submerged in cold water. Spike rested his head against the dank alley wall and sighed deeply.
Wondering for the millionth time when his life had turned to shit, the sorry looking vampire continued to sulk. Nothing ever went his way these days, Spike truly felt as if the whole world was against him and he knew **as long as he had that blasted chip in his head** there wasn't a sodding thing he could do about it.
The sound of approaching footsteps alerted the vampire's sensitive hearing to the presence of the Slayer and her sidekicks.
That's when his life had turned to dross.
**That bloody bitch and her pathetic boy toy, it was their entire fault. If he could just get this damn chip out of his skull he'd have the whole lot of them for dinner, especially the Slayer**
Spike turned, his face distorted with rage
" If you laugh I'll bleedin'..."
Howls of laughter cut off the end of Spike's empty threat
The dejected vampire reached down and picked up what was left of his still smouldering duster. He shook it a couple of times but the damage had already been done.
" It's not funny, just look what that sod's done to my clothes" he muttered through clenched teeth.
Buffy stifled the giggle that was bubbling inside her.
"Sorry, Spike. The owner thought you were a vampire he didn't realise you were there with us. He was trying to protect himself, he's really sorry" Buffy tried to offer an explanation as to why Spike had suddenly become target practice.
The only trouble was, Buffy's condescending tone was the final indignity
" What do you mean he thought I was a vampire...I AM A BLOODY VAMPIRE"
Spike exploded as his human face transformed into the demon beneath. He violently kicked out at the nearest trashcan, the loose lid flew down the alley crashing loudly, scaring a curious tomcat into the middle of next week.
Buffy bit down hard into her bottom lip as she continued.
" But Spike he thought you were a real vampire, he didn't know you've been... well you know" her eyebrows quirked
" De fanged?" Riley offered helpfully.
Buffy looked at her boyfriend and the pair burst into renewed laughter, the pathetic look on Spike's face just made the situation funnier.
Spike had never felt so humiliated in all his unlife.
** Well apart from the continuous ass kicking he'd received at the Slayer's hands over the years. Oh, and then there was the time that Drusilla left him for a chaos demon and then...**
"Enough" Spike slammed his wet hands against the shower wall in temper.
"Will this hell ever end?" he moaned in self-pity. Holding his hands up to his nose he shuddered in disgust.
"Ewwwwww"
** The rotten stink clung to his skin like a leech** with that thought the self-pity kicked in again ** Even leeches got more warm blood these days then he did** he reflected sadly.
Picking up the soap he continued with his scrubbing.
When Spike was satisfied that all traces of the holy water had left his skin he turned off the water. Grabbing one of Xander's large blue bath towels, he wrapped it around his trim waist.
At least Xander had cared enough about his injuries to offer the use of his shower.
**Saying that, he knew the little twit had offered more out of guilt then anything else**
After all was said and done, Spike had only been at the magic shop that night to help them out.
**Ok, he was being paid for his help but that wasn't the point. The last thing he'd expected was an Acid bath for his troubles. And, if that wasn't bad enough, the Slayer and that GI Joe reject had laughed themselves stupid**
Running a comb through his wet hair Spike watched in fascination as a small glass tumbler on the shelf in front of him started to vibrate. His interest grew as the glass jumped up and down and worked its way slowly to the end of the shelf where it proceeded to smash to the floor.
"Neat!" He grinned as the bottles on the above shelf joined in, within a few seconds the whole room was moving.
" Bloody hell it's an earthquake." Spike shouted and grabbed for his trousers. The last thing he needed was to be pulled from the rubble of Xander Harris's basement, naked. He had a reputation to consider and the bloody bitch of a Slayer would never let him hear the end of that one.
**But an earthquake, that would be just great. There hadn't been a really good 'quake for years ** Spike felt his adrenaline kick in at the thought of all those wonderful casualties.
**At last he might get a decent meal for a change and if he was really quick some of the dead might still be warm** Spike felt his poor empty stomach growl and licked his lips in anticipation.
Sadly, Spike's happiness was cut short when the bathroom floor began to swirl in front of him and totally ruined his earthquake theory. He was forced to hold onto the walls for support as the room shook more violently, his eyes then widened in surprise as a vortex appeared in the middle of the floor.
When the shaking eventually subsided Spike walked towards the swirling hole and curiously peered over the edge. He jerked back as a small dwarf like demon ascended.
" Wow! Now that's a really neat entrance" Spike laughed, he relaxed when he noticed the small demon seemed no obvious threat.
** Maybe dinner had arrived after all **
" You have been summoned, Vampire. *He* wants to see you at once"
Spike looked into the face of the small repulsive demon, apart from being **an ugly little sod** there was something very sinister about it. He looked closer and felt the intense heat it radiated. Spike was then drawn to the creature's face, in place of eyes there were just slits of burning fire.
This was a demon of the purest form, an infestation from hell itself.
" And does this *He* have a name" Spike didn't like the feel of this situation one little bit. He knew, only too well, that pure demons rarely left the nether world.
" Stop acting like an imbecile vampire. Stupidity will not be tolerated, so move yourself"
" Sorry shorty, but I'm a bit busy at the moment" Spike sneered at the creature.
** Who the hell did he think he was talking to? Spike was his own man, he didn't take orders from other demons especially when they were only four feet high**
" Then maybe I can help you change your mind" the demon raised an ugly claw and a bolt of fire shot straight at Spike. The nimble vampire threw himself across the bathroom straight into the wall to escape being fried for the second time that day.
" Okay, Okay, I get the picture" he reluctantly moved towards the edge of the vortex, the heat pouring through was amazing.
Turning around one last time to consider if escape was feasible Spike's eyes met the evil stare of the dwarf.
Spike knew he had two choices, Jump or be incinerated. He didn't fancy either.
Talking one last step he looked down at the swirling floor.
" Goodbye Piccadilly, farewell Leicester Bloody Square" He muttered and jumped in, followed closely by the demon.
Immediately the vortex closed.
TBC