The Dark Secret of Greenhouse Four by Eggbert.
Summary; - Dennis Creevy's convinced there's something going on between Professor Snape and the new Herbology teacher. He sets out to prove it.
Rating - PG-13. For very light slash.
I don't do humour as a rule, although most of my stories do have a thread or two of it somewhere. How and ever a comment made by my beta-reader made this idea stick, so I wrote it down. As for the pairing, 'Detention' and 'Catharsis' have enough heat and pain and angst for a dozen stories. This is just for fun.
Halfway through her Transfiguration homework, Natalie MacDonald was gaping wide-eyed at Dennis Creevy.
" They can't be! "
" I'm telling you. Professor Snape and him. They're having an affair. "
Natalie's eyes got even bigger. She laid down her quill and glared at her best friend.
" No way. Professor Longbottom's too nice to want anything to do with Snape. Eeeeeew. What a thought! "
" Just because you've got a crush on Longbottom. " grinned Dennis. " Remember when I had to go to the staffroom to get my detention from Flitwick? I saw them. Professor Longbottom was sitting with his head on Snape's knee. They were very, er, close. "
" Still don't believe you. And I do not have a crush on Professor Longbottom. " said Natalie loftily. Dennis sighed.
" Okay. I'll prove it. I know for a fact where they'll be tonight before dinner. We can go and watch. And if they so much as hold hands you owe me a Galleon. "
" Done. " replied Natalie firmly.
The two young Gryffindors crept towards Greenhouse Four in the gathering twilight.
" Are you sure they're here? " hissed Natalie.
She was answered by a groan from inside the greenhouse. Smirking, Dennis beckoned her closer.
" God, Neville. Are you sure you want to do this now? " That was Snape's voice.
" Yes, Severus. I've been waiting all day. I can't wait much longer. "
There was a wet, sucking sound and Natalie blanched.
" It's huge! " exclaimed Snape.
" You can handle it. " panted Neville. " You'll need both hands. There. Grab it. Ouch! Not so hard, it hurts. Gently. Stroke it. Oh, that's wonderful. You've got a lovely touch, Severus. "
More unusual sounds drifted into the evening air and Dennis grinned at Natalie's obvious discomfort.
" Hurry, Neville. Shove it in. I don't think I can take much more....Aaaah! "
" I think I'm going to be sick., " said Natalie faintly.
There was a wild cry; another wet, limpet-like sound and then.
" That was incredible, Neville. Damn, you're good. " Snape sounded very out of breath.
" I couldn't do it without you. It's physically impossible. " replied Neville. " It must be nearly dinnertime. We should go. "
Dennis and Natalie turned and fled as the door to Greenhouse Four slid open; Dennis's chortling echoing in Natalie's ears.
Two figures emerged, sweaty, dishevelled and covered with earth.
" Tricky job, repotting the Venomous Tentancula. It stings like hell if you don't soothe it first. " said Neville absently.
Snape smiled.
" Still, it needed doing. " continued Neville.
" You're filthy., " he said to Snape, emotion warming his pewter-grey eyes. Looking around and seeing they were alone he pulled the other man close and kissed him warmly on the mouth.
" We need a bath. And this time you get the end with the taps. "
Summary; - Dennis Creevy's convinced there's something going on between Professor Snape and the new Herbology teacher. He sets out to prove it.
Rating - PG-13. For very light slash.
I don't do humour as a rule, although most of my stories do have a thread or two of it somewhere. How and ever a comment made by my beta-reader made this idea stick, so I wrote it down. As for the pairing, 'Detention' and 'Catharsis' have enough heat and pain and angst for a dozen stories. This is just for fun.
Halfway through her Transfiguration homework, Natalie MacDonald was gaping wide-eyed at Dennis Creevy.
" They can't be! "
" I'm telling you. Professor Snape and him. They're having an affair. "
Natalie's eyes got even bigger. She laid down her quill and glared at her best friend.
" No way. Professor Longbottom's too nice to want anything to do with Snape. Eeeeeew. What a thought! "
" Just because you've got a crush on Longbottom. " grinned Dennis. " Remember when I had to go to the staffroom to get my detention from Flitwick? I saw them. Professor Longbottom was sitting with his head on Snape's knee. They were very, er, close. "
" Still don't believe you. And I do not have a crush on Professor Longbottom. " said Natalie loftily. Dennis sighed.
" Okay. I'll prove it. I know for a fact where they'll be tonight before dinner. We can go and watch. And if they so much as hold hands you owe me a Galleon. "
" Done. " replied Natalie firmly.
The two young Gryffindors crept towards Greenhouse Four in the gathering twilight.
" Are you sure they're here? " hissed Natalie.
She was answered by a groan from inside the greenhouse. Smirking, Dennis beckoned her closer.
" God, Neville. Are you sure you want to do this now? " That was Snape's voice.
" Yes, Severus. I've been waiting all day. I can't wait much longer. "
There was a wet, sucking sound and Natalie blanched.
" It's huge! " exclaimed Snape.
" You can handle it. " panted Neville. " You'll need both hands. There. Grab it. Ouch! Not so hard, it hurts. Gently. Stroke it. Oh, that's wonderful. You've got a lovely touch, Severus. "
More unusual sounds drifted into the evening air and Dennis grinned at Natalie's obvious discomfort.
" Hurry, Neville. Shove it in. I don't think I can take much more....Aaaah! "
" I think I'm going to be sick., " said Natalie faintly.
There was a wild cry; another wet, limpet-like sound and then.
" That was incredible, Neville. Damn, you're good. " Snape sounded very out of breath.
" I couldn't do it without you. It's physically impossible. " replied Neville. " It must be nearly dinnertime. We should go. "
Dennis and Natalie turned and fled as the door to Greenhouse Four slid open; Dennis's chortling echoing in Natalie's ears.
Two figures emerged, sweaty, dishevelled and covered with earth.
" Tricky job, repotting the Venomous Tentancula. It stings like hell if you don't soothe it first. " said Neville absently.
Snape smiled.
" Still, it needed doing. " continued Neville.
" You're filthy., " he said to Snape, emotion warming his pewter-grey eyes. Looking around and seeing they were alone he pulled the other man close and kissed him warmly on the mouth.
" We need a bath. And this time you get the end with the taps. "