Disclaimer: Sadly, I DON'T own Final Fantasy IX. Square does. At least for now...
Friendly Battles You Just Won't Find
Odd Friendly Battle #1
Zidane and co. are walking through a random forest.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Moogle appears.
"Can you give me an Ore, kupo?" says the Moogle.
"Uhhhhh...I guess so," sighs Zidane as he looks in his pockets.
The Moogle waits patiently.
"Uhhhhh...I don't have any," Zidane shrugs.
"What?! KUPO! You son of a biscuit!" the Moogle shouts as it mauls Zidane.
"Hey CT, this isn't exactly a FRIENDLY monster!" Zidane shouts.
I shrug.
Odd Friendly Battle #2
Zidane and co. are walking through a random forest.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Black Mage appears.
"Could I have a Diamond?" asks the Black Mage.
"Ummm...I don't think I have one..." Zidane says.
"You...don't? Oh...well then...do you have a Ruby?"
"...No."
"...A Sapphire?"
"...Nope."
"Grrr...an Opal?"
"...Sorry."
"Ugh...oh, fine. Do you have an ORE??"
"...Oops."
"YOU FOOL!" the Black Mage shouts. "FLARE!"
Zidane is toasted to a crisp.
Odd Friendly Battle #3
Zidane and co. are walking from Burmecia to Cleyra. (In disc 2 before it's destroyed).
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Beatrix appears.
"Do have some Silicon?" asks Beatrix.
"Why do you want Silicon?" asks Freya.
"Oh...you know..."
Zidane laughs uncontrollably.
Beatrix Shocks him.
"...I don't understand," says Vivi.
"Me explain...maybe when you older," laughs Quina.
Odd Friendly Battle #4
Zidane and co. are walking around Chocobo's Air Garden.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Ozma appears.
"Please give me an Ore!" shouts Ozma.
"Wait, it talks?" says Zidane, confused.
"Yes, IT talks," growls Ozma.
"You're a psychokinetic beach ball, how do you talk?" asks Eiko.
"Grrr...shut up and gimme an Ore! I've got innocent gamers to annoy," Ozma says.
"Oops...hold on...I know I got some..." Zidane rummages in his pockets.
One hour later...
"Somewhere?" says Zidane.
Ozma Curses them.
"Idiots..." sighs Ozma.
Odd Friendly Battle #5
Zidane and co. are walking around Memoria.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
The Four Chaos Guardians appear.
"We want some Ore!" they chorus.
"Zidane, you bought some Ore, right?" asks Dagger.
"Ummm...great...aw, *($%!" Zidane shouts.
"You don't have any? IDIOTS!" the Guardians cry.
"Flaming Sword!"
"Jet Fire!"
"Waterga!"
"Death!"
"Ouchie," says Zidane
Odd Friendly Battle #6
Zidane and co. are walking around Memoria.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Hades appears.
"Give the Ore to me!" he shouts.
"Zidane...you DID buy Ore, right?" says Vivi.
"...Oops..."
"You mortal imbeciles! DOOMSDAY!" cries Hades.
"Oh, great..." sighs Zidane.
Odd Friendly Battle #7
Zidane and co. are walking around the Desert Palace.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Kuja appears.
"Uh...gimme some Ore, NOW!" he yells.
"Um...why do you want Ore?" says Zidane. "And...why are you wearing a bathrobe?"
"...Zorn and Thorn stole my bikini and I need some Ore to make a new one."
"Well, I do happen to have some just this once..."
"Ohhhhhhhh, THANK YOU! Now I must show my love for you," Kuja laughs as he casts Flare.
"Ouch," sighs Zidane as Kuja runs to get revenge on Zorn and Thorn.
Zorn can be heard from the distance. "Aggggggh! We are in trouble!"
Thorn can also be heard. "Trouble we are in! Aggggggh!"
Odd Friendly Battle #8
Zidane and co. are walking around Lindblum.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Grandma Pickle appears.
"Could you give me an Ore, dearie?" she says.
"Oh, of course, old lady," Zidane smiles.
Zidane gives her an Ore.
"Mwahahahaha...I mean thank you..." Grandma Pickle says as she runs off.
"Where's she going?" asks Vivi.
"Over there," Garnet says, and points to a large machine labeled:
'Turn The Entire World Population Into Pickles. All It Needs Is An Ore'
"Zidane, you've doomed us all!" cries Freya.
"3...2...1..." bleeps the machine.
Odd Friendly Battle #9
Zidane and co. are walking around Alexandria after turning the world back to normal.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Queen Brahne appears.
"Give me a Garnet!" she cries.
"Uh...why?" asks Zidane.
"So I can summon Bahamu-...I mean, put it in my ring!"
"Hmmmm...I don't trust you," Zidane says.
"What? WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brahne runs away crying.
Odd Friendly Battle #10
Zidane and co. are walking around a random forest.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Cid Highwind (from FF7) appears.
"You (*&%s! Gimme some @%^@&%in' Ore, you ^&%#%@ sonuva &*%^)&^! ^*@$ it!" he yells.
"Uh...geez, chill, man," Zidane says.
"I don't need a (*&%in' chill! You &*(*&in' shut up! HIGHWIND!" Cid cries.
Zidane is blasted with missiles from Cid's Limit Break.
"OW! Man, I wish I could use Limit Breaks, but nooooooooooo, I get Trance!" he sighs.
Odd Friendly Battle #11
Zidane and co. are walking around a random forest. (Man is this getting repetitive!)
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Ultimecia appears.
"Kan you give me some Ore?" she says.
"...No," Zidane replies.
"What? NOOOOOOO! Kurse all SeeDs! Kill everything! Kurse them! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"But...I'm not a SeeD..whatever that is..." Zidane backs away.
"Of kourse you're not. But you kan die anyway. Griever! Make them bleed!"
Zidane becomes aware of Griever looming up in front of him.
"Poopy..." he mutters.
Odd Friendly Battle #12
Zidane and co. are walking around a random field. (Ha! I changed it!)
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Cloud Tribal appears.
"Uhhh...I want some Ore?" he says.
"What are you doing here?" yells Zidane.
"I felt like doing the last one myself. So...give me an Ore!"
"Here...but can you give it back? It's my last one," Zidane says as he hands it to CT.
CT runs off.
"Loser!" he shouts over his shoulder.
The End
A/N: Hmmm...I think that'll be all, unless a LOT of people want me to make an attempt
at more. I'm not sure, some of these weren't too easy to come up with, and I think
some of them were just plain dumb, but...you're the reader, you tell me.
Friendly Battles You Just Won't Find
Odd Friendly Battle #1
Zidane and co. are walking through a random forest.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Moogle appears.
"Can you give me an Ore, kupo?" says the Moogle.
"Uhhhhh...I guess so," sighs Zidane as he looks in his pockets.
The Moogle waits patiently.
"Uhhhhh...I don't have any," Zidane shrugs.
"What?! KUPO! You son of a biscuit!" the Moogle shouts as it mauls Zidane.
"Hey CT, this isn't exactly a FRIENDLY monster!" Zidane shouts.
I shrug.
Odd Friendly Battle #2
Zidane and co. are walking through a random forest.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Black Mage appears.
"Could I have a Diamond?" asks the Black Mage.
"Ummm...I don't think I have one..." Zidane says.
"You...don't? Oh...well then...do you have a Ruby?"
"...No."
"...A Sapphire?"
"...Nope."
"Grrr...an Opal?"
"...Sorry."
"Ugh...oh, fine. Do you have an ORE??"
"...Oops."
"YOU FOOL!" the Black Mage shouts. "FLARE!"
Zidane is toasted to a crisp.
Odd Friendly Battle #3
Zidane and co. are walking from Burmecia to Cleyra. (In disc 2 before it's destroyed).
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Beatrix appears.
"Do have some Silicon?" asks Beatrix.
"Why do you want Silicon?" asks Freya.
"Oh...you know..."
Zidane laughs uncontrollably.
Beatrix Shocks him.
"...I don't understand," says Vivi.
"Me explain...maybe when you older," laughs Quina.
Odd Friendly Battle #4
Zidane and co. are walking around Chocobo's Air Garden.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Ozma appears.
"Please give me an Ore!" shouts Ozma.
"Wait, it talks?" says Zidane, confused.
"Yes, IT talks," growls Ozma.
"You're a psychokinetic beach ball, how do you talk?" asks Eiko.
"Grrr...shut up and gimme an Ore! I've got innocent gamers to annoy," Ozma says.
"Oops...hold on...I know I got some..." Zidane rummages in his pockets.
One hour later...
"Somewhere?" says Zidane.
Ozma Curses them.
"Idiots..." sighs Ozma.
Odd Friendly Battle #5
Zidane and co. are walking around Memoria.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
The Four Chaos Guardians appear.
"We want some Ore!" they chorus.
"Zidane, you bought some Ore, right?" asks Dagger.
"Ummm...great...aw, *($%!" Zidane shouts.
"You don't have any? IDIOTS!" the Guardians cry.
"Flaming Sword!"
"Jet Fire!"
"Waterga!"
"Death!"
"Ouchie," says Zidane
Odd Friendly Battle #6
Zidane and co. are walking around Memoria.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Hades appears.
"Give the Ore to me!" he shouts.
"Zidane...you DID buy Ore, right?" says Vivi.
"...Oops..."
"You mortal imbeciles! DOOMSDAY!" cries Hades.
"Oh, great..." sighs Zidane.
Odd Friendly Battle #7
Zidane and co. are walking around the Desert Palace.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Kuja appears.
"Uh...gimme some Ore, NOW!" he yells.
"Um...why do you want Ore?" says Zidane. "And...why are you wearing a bathrobe?"
"...Zorn and Thorn stole my bikini and I need some Ore to make a new one."
"Well, I do happen to have some just this once..."
"Ohhhhhhhh, THANK YOU! Now I must show my love for you," Kuja laughs as he casts Flare.
"Ouch," sighs Zidane as Kuja runs to get revenge on Zorn and Thorn.
Zorn can be heard from the distance. "Aggggggh! We are in trouble!"
Thorn can also be heard. "Trouble we are in! Aggggggh!"
Odd Friendly Battle #8
Zidane and co. are walking around Lindblum.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Grandma Pickle appears.
"Could you give me an Ore, dearie?" she says.
"Oh, of course, old lady," Zidane smiles.
Zidane gives her an Ore.
"Mwahahahaha...I mean thank you..." Grandma Pickle says as she runs off.
"Where's she going?" asks Vivi.
"Over there," Garnet says, and points to a large machine labeled:
'Turn The Entire World Population Into Pickles. All It Needs Is An Ore'
"Zidane, you've doomed us all!" cries Freya.
"3...2...1..." bleeps the machine.
Odd Friendly Battle #9
Zidane and co. are walking around Alexandria after turning the world back to normal.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Queen Brahne appears.
"Give me a Garnet!" she cries.
"Uh...why?" asks Zidane.
"So I can summon Bahamu-...I mean, put it in my ring!"
"Hmmmm...I don't trust you," Zidane says.
"What? WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Brahne runs away crying.
Odd Friendly Battle #10
Zidane and co. are walking around a random forest.
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Cid Highwind (from FF7) appears.
"You (*&%s! Gimme some @%^@&%in' Ore, you ^&%#%@ sonuva &*%^)&^! ^*@$ it!" he yells.
"Uh...geez, chill, man," Zidane says.
"I don't need a (*&%in' chill! You &*(*&in' shut up! HIGHWIND!" Cid cries.
Zidane is blasted with missiles from Cid's Limit Break.
"OW! Man, I wish I could use Limit Breaks, but nooooooooooo, I get Trance!" he sighs.
Odd Friendly Battle #11
Zidane and co. are walking around a random forest. (Man is this getting repetitive!)
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Ultimecia appears.
"Kan you give me some Ore?" she says.
"...No," Zidane replies.
"What? NOOOOOOO! Kurse all SeeDs! Kill everything! Kurse them! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"But...I'm not a SeeD..whatever that is..." Zidane backs away.
"Of kourse you're not. But you kan die anyway. Griever! Make them bleed!"
Zidane becomes aware of Griever looming up in front of him.
"Poopy..." he mutters.
Odd Friendly Battle #12
Zidane and co. are walking around a random field. (Ha! I changed it!)
Friendly Battle music begins to play.
Cloud Tribal appears.
"Uhhh...I want some Ore?" he says.
"What are you doing here?" yells Zidane.
"I felt like doing the last one myself. So...give me an Ore!"
"Here...but can you give it back? It's my last one," Zidane says as he hands it to CT.
CT runs off.
"Loser!" he shouts over his shoulder.
The End
A/N: Hmmm...I think that'll be all, unless a LOT of people want me to make an attempt
at more. I'm not sure, some of these weren't too easy to come up with, and I think
some of them were just plain dumb, but...you're the reader, you tell me.