CHAPTER 21- Bulma Gets Her Comeuppance
Ok people don't worry! That was never going to be the end of Vegeta's revenge and I am going to rename stripe, even if the cat is imaginary I'd still consider it animal cruelty to leave it with such an unoriginal name!
Disclaimer: I don't own dragon ball z but I do own the cat formerly known as stripe =^.^= Meeoow!
In the gravity chamber Vegeta was throwing punches and kicks into the air in rapid succession, beating his imaginary opponent to within an inch of its life.
'damn woman! Why did she recover so fast? My revenge hardly affected her! Am I loosing my touch? Am I just too soft with her? I cannot allow this! My revenge must move to the next level… good thing I recorded her little announcement, I didn't think I'd be using it for anything but my own amusement but now….' Vegeta stopped punching the air and began to laugh his evilest evil villain laugh. The sound echoed around the chamber, giving it extra authenticity and outside Goku scratched his head, shrugged his shoulders and flew off home for dinner.
Bulma awoke on the couch after a good hour of sleep to find stripe curled up beside her. She rolled over to pet the cat.
"Hello stripe!" she said in a soft baby voice "ugh! Stripe, what a horrible name, you poor thing"
"Meeoow" said stripe, looking up at Bulma with sad eyes, as if she was agreeing with her.
"well don't you worry we're going to think of a real name for you now!"
"Meeoow" said stripe
"ok so you're a girl right?"
"Meeoow" said stripe
"ok, I'll take that as a yes, but I'm not sure…. I could whip up a universal translator like the one I made for captain ginyu but I'd rather not after what happened last time! Hmmm, what would suit you?"
"Meeoow" said stripe
"nah… too obvious" said Bulma "well you're Vegeta's cat
really, so maybe I should call you something vegetable related… no that's just a
silly idea, who ever heard of a cat named after a vegetable! How about… Madame
fluffykins!"
"hissssssss" said stripe
"ok, ok! It was just a suggestion no need to get worked up!!"
'my kami… I'm talking to a cat… that's it I've finally flipped' thought Bulma
just then, Mrs. briefs wandered into the room
"hey mom!" said Bulma
"hello dear" Mrs. Briefs sat down in an armchair and placed a tray of cakes and lemonade on the table "oh how adorable you got a cat!" she giggled, covering her mouth in surprise
"well it kinda belongs to Vegeta but that's a long story… what do you think would be a good name for it?"
"um… I don't know… how about stripe?"
Bulma rolled her eyes
"I was thinking of something a little more original…"
"oh right… well if it's going to be a member of our family from now on, it'll
need a proper family name!"
"you think I should name the cat something underwear related?"
"why yes dear… how about girdle or garter or nightie or even he he he… thong!"
"I'm definitely not going to call my cat thong! I quite liked nightie though, what do you think kitty?"
"Meeoow"
"Nightie Briefs it is then!"
"he he he!" said bulma's mother
"Meeoow" said nightie as she scratched at her collar
"oh yeah! You still have that collar that says stripe… mom I'm just going out to the pet shop to get a new collar for Nightie"
"ok dear! Be back for dinner and make sure you take a sweater!"
Bulma looked out the window
"mom, it's the middle of July!"
"mother knows best dear!" she replied tottering off into the kitchen
'I worry about her' thought Bulma as she put nightie down and went in search of her car capsule
within two hours she had arrived at the pet shop, ordered the new collar and purchased a food bowl, a scratching post, a basket that looked more like a kitty castle then a place for it to sleep, enough cat food to last a month and a litter tray.
'I hope she's already house trained!' she thought
she wandered out of the shop, bags in hand and rooted in her pocket for her car capsule.
'that's odd, I can't find it anywhere, must have been stolen, I'll have to go buy a new one, now where's the nearest capsule store?' as she was thinking she realized that she was going to be late for dinner at this rate and decided to call home to warn her mother
she stood in the payphone, still cradling her many bags in her arms, wishing she could have dragged Vegeta on this trip 'he'd have no problem carrying these bags and me home!'. The phone rang and she began to wonder why no one was picking up, it didn't normally take this long for her mother to get to the phone…
'ah well I'll just have to leave an answer phone message and hope she gets it…'
after 10 rings the answer phone kicked in
"hi this is Bulma" started her usual answer phone message "I just dropped by to tell you that I'm an ugly, stupid idiot with a foul mouth, bad taste in clothes and… oh yeah I have a fat ass!"
"WHAT??????" screamed Bulma in the middle of the street
'oh dear kami no, Vegeta changed my answer phone message!!! Please don't let anyone else have heard it!!'
Bulma listened in horror as the beeps, which indicated the number of people who had called, went on and on, it seemed no one had been picking up the phone all day.
'Noooo!!!' thought Bulma as she prayed to kami that he hadn't changed the message on her work line as well.
she had to get home and fast!! She decided she would go to the office first though, that message on her business line would be twenty times more embarrassing, what would her clients think???
She finally found a capsule store and sped off in her new car toward the offices on her dad's compound. She reached the electronic gate and waited for the guard to answer after she'd pressed the buzzer.
"hi, this is Bulma briefs I just dropped by to tell you that I'm an ugly… " came the voice from the post
she couldn't listen to any more, she was horrified… she drove straight over the top of the gates in her hover car, screaming to the terrified guard, who Vegeta must have bribed,
"it's ok I work here!!! But you won't be for much longer!!!"
she sped to her usual parking space and leaped out of the car, barely remembering to lock the door in her haste to dash inside the building. Waiting for the elevator up to her floor she almost exploded, and would have taken the stairs instead had it not been for the fact that her office was on the 20th and final floor of the huge building!
Finally it came, the door opened and Bulma was almost too horrified to step inside, as she heard her little announcement on a constant loop inside the lift, and saw the faces of those leaving the lift as she waited to get in.
She stood in the lift for twenty floors, refusing every waiting passenger on each floor access to the lift unless they promised to keep their hands over their ears. By now the proportion of the building who weren't laughing at her expense thought she had gone quite mad.
She reached her office to find Vegeta sitting in her secretary's chair with his feet on the desk and his hands behind his head, smirking as usual.
"YOU!!!" she roared in a voice that made Vegeta consider calling an exorcist "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!"
"you know perfectly well what I have done woman, I have had my revenge" he said mockingly
"this is not FAIR! I only embarrassed you in front of Goku you have made me a laughing stock on an almost global scale by now!"
"yes but what you told Kakkarot wasn't true!"
"oh and those things you made me say are??"
"in my eyes, yes!"
"you… you… I hate you!!! How could you do this to me??"
"quite easily, I created one message and bullied all of your menial workers into doing my bidding, you probably shouldn't punish them, I didn't give them much choice" his voice and smirk were at their most evil and he burst into hysterical laughter as Bulma ran into her office and changed her message back to what it had been. She then listened to her answer phone messages. All the callers sounded either confused, embarrassed or simply too amused to even speak.
"how am I going to live this down? No one's ever going to take me seriously again!"
"they'll forget about it within a week woman! Don't flatter yourself, you're not that fascinating!" called a sarcastic voice from the doorway
"I hope you're right Vegeta."
"woman I am always right now come home this instant, we have business to finish"
"if you think I'd even consider kissing you after what you just did you are sorely mistaken!!!" Bulma raged
"we shall see woman, we shall see" and with that he flew out of an open window and disappeared, no doubt going to harass her mother for food which would have been ready over an hour ago by now
Bulma rode the elevator back down, gave strict orders at the reception desk to have the music in the lift changed and left the building still feeling shaken and ashamed and hoping that Vegeta had been satisfied in his revenge this time.
This chapter was a lot longer than I usually do!!! Are we all satisfied that Vegeta has been characteristically evil now? Good. I'm sorry if stripe's new name isn't much better than the last one… but I thought it was cute!