I think this is the last one, folks. It has been getting harder and harder to come up with this stuff, and I think I just drained the last of it. Well, SOMEthing was leaking out my ears… I have to give idea-credit and character-credit to Anthony. Tell Nirre I said thanks for being in my fic. Oh, and just so you guys don't get all worried, no, I did not, nor would I ever, go out with Crais. Although he did sing to me…
Disclaimer: This is Cordefic, used with permission.
I Think It's Time To Stop When Your Characters Are Singing So Loudly That Your Parents Can Hear Them In The Other Room And They Ask Who That Man Is Singing And You Have To Say That It's The Radio When It's Really A Peacekeeper Captain
Chapter 1
As much as Corde hated to start out a fic using someone else's idea, she found herself accepting an invitation to dinner with Crais. Anthony had suggested it. But he had also sent Larraq to escort her, so it wasn't all bad. But at the last second, Larraq came down with some sort of… virus, so Corde went alone.
"Wait a minute," said Aeryn.
"Shouldn't that be 'microt'?" asked Chia Pet.
"Shut up," Aeryn replied. "As I was saying, wait a minute. Corde, you're going to dinner with Crais?"
"Yeah, so?" said Corde, who was studying herself in the mirror.
"You're going to DINNER with the man who has vowed to hunt me down and KILL me?"
"Yeah, so? This is only the first date I've been asked on in…hmm, my life. Why shouldn't I go?"
"BECAUSE HE WANTS TO KILL ME!"
"And just for that you assume he won't be a good date?"
Aeryn stalked off, muttering sebacean curses.
Chapter 2
"I am so glad this is a work of fiction," Aeryn remarked. "If it weren't, I'd have to shoot your for that first chapter."
"Hey," said Corde, "don't blame me. It was Anthony's idea."
Chapter 3
Corde sighed. ("There's almost as much sighing around here as there is wandering! What's up with that?" asked Chia Pet. "Shut up," Corde told her.) It was nearly 11:30 and she was still on the first page of her fic. Worse, she was totally drawing a blank.
"That's it," she muttered. "I'm out of fic. I used it all up. It's gone. GONE!" she moaned loudly.
"What's gone?" asked Gabrielle.
"Crichton's beard," said Xena. "He had one in 'Jeremiah Crichton,' but he shaved it for 'Durka Returns.'"
"I thought it was fake, like Ares' facial hair in the first season of 'Xena,'" said Gabrielle.
"I did too," said Xena, "but Anthony says it was real."
"HEY!" Corde screamed. "Hello! This is MY fic! What are you people doing here?"
Xena and Gabrielle looked at each other and shrugged. "Don't ask us," said Gabrielle. "It's your fic."
"We were tired of not being updated by Missy Good," Xena added, "so we came to chat with Aeryn. Is she around?"
"I'm here," said Aeryn as she walked into the room munching on a Pop-Tart. "Hey Xena, Gabrielle, how ya doin'?"
"Same old same old, died, came back, went to Chin, saved the world, got pregnant. You know," said Xena. The three laughed.
Corde sat at her computer pouting as Xena, Gabrielle and Aeryn chatted about fighting techniques and rehashed their oldest argument about the pantac jab vs. the pinch. It was nearly 11:45 and she was no closer to anything resembling a plot. Sometimes crossovers sucked.
Chapter 4
Bongo laughed at Corde. "I know I say this all the time, Corde, but I must admit that this truly IS your worst fic ever."
A ten-year-old girl walked up to Bongo and smacked him upside the head.
"Thanks, Nirre," said Corde.
"No problem," said Nirre, and she walked out.
Bongo stared in shock. "Who was that?"
Corde replied, "Anthony's AU Crichton-Sun offspring. Cute, ain't she? She surely is her mother's daughter.
"Shoulda known," Bongo muttered. "She has the same technique…"
Chapter 5
"Wow, look. You made it to the third page," said Aeryn, "and it only took you three hours."
"I was attic surfing for two and a half of it," Corde snapped. "And look what I found! Baby pictures of little Aeryn! Aww… Here, let me send them to the shippers."
Aeryn shrugged. "Okay. I was an adorable baby, wasn't I?"
Crichton drooled on his (bare, for some odd reason) chest. "You sure were, Aeryn."
Aeryn picked up another stack of pictures. "While you, on the other hand…" She held up a picture of a baby monkey. "Whew. It's a wonder your mother didn't drown you."
Bongo snatched the picture from Aeryn's hand. "That's me," he said.
Chapter 6
"Does anyone else realize that these chapters are getting shorter?" asked Aeryn.
"That means Corde it running out of ideas," said Corde. "And when Corde runs out of ideas, she also speaks in the third person. Rather like some of the shippers…"
CRISTIN!
"Wuss," said Zhaan.
D'Argo jete'd across the room wearing his favorite purple tutu.
"Ahem. If you are quite finished…" said Aeryn.
"Hey, if it worked once, it will work again!" said Corde. "At least, that's what Sylvester Stallone said about the Rocky movies…"
—and then it all just went bleh—
THE END
"Oh great, stealing from Resnick wasn't enough, now you have to steal from Douglas Adams too?" said Aeryn.
"That wasn't Adams," Corde denied. "It was me, years ago. If anything, it was my brother. Hey, it could have been worse."
"How?" Aeryn asked.
"I could have blown everything up."
—and then, everything exploded—
"CRICHTON!" Aeryn yelled. "GET THE MOP!"
THE END
**Author's note: In case anyone was wondering, I write the fic first, then the introductory paragraph, then the title. It's kinda backwards. Okay, really backwards. So that's why the titles don't always make sense.**