Chapter Five:
Regret
Two
months had passed since Zack and Jessica had declared their love for each
other. Zack had never been happier in his life. Truthfully, though, Zack had
never really ever been happy. Jessica
was like the light to his darkness, the calm to his anger, and the love to his
hatred. He really thought that they were meant to be. But the one thing that
kept him from believing that was his fear. Not that he would ever admit it to
anyone, but, he was scared. He was scared that he wouldn't be able to protect
Jessica, should the time come. He had failed, Eva, Jack, Brin, Tinga, and
especially Ben. As their older brother, C.O. and leader, he should have
protected them better. Had he done his job, Eva wouldn't have died that night,
Jack wouldn't have gotten dissected, and Brin wouldn't have gotten
reprogrammed. But, most importantly, Tinga and Ben wouldn't have died. He knew
about Ben, about what his little brother had become. And yet, even he wasn't
fast enough, to stop Ben from forcing Max to take his life. He couldn't save
his little brother, from himself, or Tinga from sacrificing herself for her
son. His ultimate fear, though, was that he would lose Jessica in the same way.
He had already lost so many brothers and sisters, he couldn't lose her too. He
COULDN'T!!! He wanted so much to protect Jessica from harm, but he wasn't sure
that he could, feeling that he had failed all of his brothers and sisters.
That's
where Jessica found him later that day, curled up on his bed in her guest room,
with the shades drawn; looking like the fate of the world was on his shoulders.
Thinking about all of his failures and his fear of his supposed inability to
protect Jessica should the time come. Jessica sat on the bed, and reached over
to take Zack's hand. "Zack, honey, what's wrong?" Jessica asked concern evident
in voice. Zack flinched as though Jessica had struck him, and gently pulled his
hand away. "Zack, please," Jessica looked at him, close to tears," I want to
help you, stop pushing me away." Zack sighed, lifting his head up and staring
Jessica straight in the eye. Reaching up to gently stroke her cheek, Zack
replied with, an even heavier sigh, "I don't deserve you Jess." "Zack, what the
hell are you talking about??" Jessica questioned, wondering what would make her
boyfriend think this. "I mean, what do I have to offer you??" Zack continued,
ignoring Jessica's question, and talking more to himself than her. "I mean, I
don't have any money, no job, no place to crash, not even enough food to eat, or
enough clothes to wear!!!" All I have to offer you is a life on the run." "Is
that what you really want??" Zack asked the pain clearly evident in his eyes.
Jessica looked shocked by what he was asking. "How could you ask me something
like that Zack??" "Of course, this is what I want, I love you" "Anyway, what
brought this up??" Zack sighed. "I was thinking about how I failed my brothers
and sisters." "What does this have to do with us, our relationship?" Jessica
asked confused. "I'm afraid, Jess." Zack replied. "I wasn't able to protect
them, and I don't wanna lose you too." Jessica looked shocked, "Zack, when you
told me you had nothing to offer me, and you have to know that that's not true
at all." "Isn't it??" Zack said, looking at her. "No, it isn't." Jessica got
up, and began to pace. "Zack, that day two months ago, when you had the courage
to tell me you loved me, was the happiest day in my life." "You gave me
everything it was that you had to offer, your heart." " And that alone is
enough for me, you couldn't give me anything better than that." Jessica said
with a smile on her face. Zack also smiled, but then a look of worry crossed
his face. "I couldn't protect them, and I don't want the same to happen to you
too, Jess." "What they did was their decision; Zack there was nothing you could
do to stop them." "You've had your 'siblings' best interests at heart, but as
you know, they never listen to you." "You did all you could Zack; they wouldn't
want you to blame yourself, for what happened." "I know," Zack replied sighing
heavily,"but, it still doesn't make me feel less guilty." Jessica took a long
look at her watch, and gasped. "Damn, will you look at the time!!" "I gotta
bounce." Zack stood up, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I love you
baby." Zack said. "I love you too; think about what I said okay??" Zack nodded.
After exchanging a few passionate goodbye kisses, Jessica was out the door,
leaving Zack to his own thoughts. Who was feeling much better after their
little heart-to heart.
Meanwhile,
just outside the door of the apartment, Jessica pulled out her cell phone, and
dials a number. A voice on the other end answers. "Is it is done??" "Yeah
everything's all set." Jessica replied.
"Good,"
the voice said, "We can't allow anything to go wrong." "Your boyfriend finds
out who we are, and we're done for." "I know, I know, I even reassured him just
a few minutes ago, that I could take care of myself." "Insecure, much??" the
voice on the other end commented. "Not really, just scared, which is
understandable." Jessica said, fiercely defending Zack. "Whoa girl, pull your
claws back in, I wasn't slamming your boy, just making a comment." The voice
replied. "I know, sorry." Jessica said. "Anyways, you're right; it is
understandable, seeing who he is and what he's been through." "But, I trust you
to b e able to keep our identities a secret." "Thanks, for the support."
Jessica said wryly. "You're welcome." the voice said. "Keep in touch." Jessica
said goodbye, and hung up. 'He's right'
Jessica thought, 'I can't let Zack find
out, who I really am.' 'If he does, it could kill him.' 'No' Jessica
thought. 'I won't let Zack find out about
me and my family. No matter what the cost.' 'I have to keep my family, and
Zack, especially, safe.'
tbc……………………