Disclaimer: Janeway and Chakotay are property of Paramount and Gene Roddenberry's estate. I'm just giving them something
to do during reruns.
Author's Note: Inspired from the George Michael song "One More Try." No infringement intended there either, George.
Sequel to: "Almost Like It Used to Be," "To Be Sure," and "All I Knew of Love" (in that order).
RISKING IT ALL
Chakotay couldn't believe what he was hearing. He watched her face for the crooked, fibbing smile, and her eyes for any sign of
uncertainty. She never did these things to him on purpose, but in retrsopect, her declarations always had tell-tale signs of being
less than truthful.
There were none this time.
Now he didn't know what to do. She was telling him basically everything he'd ever wanted to hear. Which was a good thing. But
how long would it be before she changed her mind. And since now she didn't have protocol to fall back on as an excuse, the
only reason to leave would be that she truly didn't love her.
He leaned back in his chair and thought. He was sick of being alone; he was sick of feeling in danger. After this stint in prison,
the dangers of the Delta Quadrant finally seemed to be staying still. But the feelings that had been built there had followed them
all home.
Did he want to try this again? Did he want to give her his heart, go into her home (maybe even her bed) and then find out that it
wasn't real for her? Again. He coudln't take another "I'm sorry, Chakotay, but we can't."
His mind began to drift back to when he had first met her--long hair pulled up tightly in a bun, she was the woman sent to imprison
him. And she did. Physically, he was imprisoned on a Federation ship 70,000 light years from home. Emotionally, he was
unable to have meaningful relationship with anyone because of her. He didn't realize then, as he did now, how dangerous it was to
fall in love with a woman who 1) had a fiance, 2) was a starship captain, and 3) payed attention to protocol when it suited her. He
had seen that look in her eyes one too many times--their first meeting after New Earth, at the end of their sail on Lake George,
even after her return from the Borg--it just said "no."
No, Chakotay, we can't.
*And now she says she loves me,* he thought, somewhat bitterly. She said she had loved him, would love him, for always.
Could she really settle down to one man? She almost had with Marc; could she do it with him too?
He sighed, and ran a hand through his greying hair. He was lonely, he was old, he was sad. He needed to know if this was really
how she felt.
He started looking for a place to stay planet side.
to do during reruns.
Author's Note: Inspired from the George Michael song "One More Try." No infringement intended there either, George.
Sequel to: "Almost Like It Used to Be," "To Be Sure," and "All I Knew of Love" (in that order).
RISKING IT ALL
Chakotay couldn't believe what he was hearing. He watched her face for the crooked, fibbing smile, and her eyes for any sign of
uncertainty. She never did these things to him on purpose, but in retrsopect, her declarations always had tell-tale signs of being
less than truthful.
There were none this time.
Now he didn't know what to do. She was telling him basically everything he'd ever wanted to hear. Which was a good thing. But
how long would it be before she changed her mind. And since now she didn't have protocol to fall back on as an excuse, the
only reason to leave would be that she truly didn't love her.
He leaned back in his chair and thought. He was sick of being alone; he was sick of feeling in danger. After this stint in prison,
the dangers of the Delta Quadrant finally seemed to be staying still. But the feelings that had been built there had followed them
all home.
Did he want to try this again? Did he want to give her his heart, go into her home (maybe even her bed) and then find out that it
wasn't real for her? Again. He coudln't take another "I'm sorry, Chakotay, but we can't."
His mind began to drift back to when he had first met her--long hair pulled up tightly in a bun, she was the woman sent to imprison
him. And she did. Physically, he was imprisoned on a Federation ship 70,000 light years from home. Emotionally, he was
unable to have meaningful relationship with anyone because of her. He didn't realize then, as he did now, how dangerous it was to
fall in love with a woman who 1) had a fiance, 2) was a starship captain, and 3) payed attention to protocol when it suited her. He
had seen that look in her eyes one too many times--their first meeting after New Earth, at the end of their sail on Lake George,
even after her return from the Borg--it just said "no."
No, Chakotay, we can't.
*And now she says she loves me,* he thought, somewhat bitterly. She said she had loved him, would love him, for always.
Could she really settle down to one man? She almost had with Marc; could she do it with him too?
He sighed, and ran a hand through his greying hair. He was lonely, he was old, he was sad. He needed to know if this was really
how she felt.
He started looking for a place to stay planet side.