Title: Why Relena Can Find Heero
Author: Stacey-Marie
Pairings: none
Warnings: humor, extreme stupidity
Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing, it's characters, mechas or anything else from the series. They belong to Bandai, Sunrise and a bunch of other people I don't know about.
Note: this is so totally random I have no idea where I got it.
Oh and a quick color code:
"___" speaks in "___"
Duo
Wufei
Trowa
Quatre
Heero
Why
Ya know people something has come to my attention. I've been thinking and…
That's a first Maxwell
AND well I just wanna know how in the hell Relena keeps finding us but somehow OZ doesn't?
What do you mean Duo?
I mean that she's always here stalking Heero, globe hopping (isn't she supposed to be in school like a good little ambassador's daughter anyway) and always seeming to find our exact coordinates, while OZ just seems to be twiddling their thumbs and waiting for us to blow up a base only to get there too late and be lost once again on our whereabouts and picking locations out of a hat!
He has a really good point Heero.
Surprisingly he actually is making sense Yuy for once and makes a damn good case on OZ being idiots.
I'm inclined to agree with Wufei there, Heero.
AND because I'm not done here dammit! I wanna know what her mother has to say about all this, can any of you imagine that her mother is just sitting there allowing Relena to run around spending thousands of dollars chasing a terrorist who keeps threatening to kill her?!
Damn he's really on the ball today Yuy.
D'accord.
Well, will someone freaking tell me because she's driving me crazy! Do any of you know how many times she used the excuse that she needed conditioner to come see Heero, actually took my conditioner and never gave it back?! You'd think that someone able to stalk Heero all the time would be able to afford her own conditioner, hell at least she could give it back!!!
Now he's starting to scare me.
Heero kindly tell me if you took him to Starbucks and then let him watch the X-Files movie AGAIN?!
Heero if you did we're making you watch him tonight.
Shh!! don't let her think I'm home!!
What are you talking about Yuy?!
You want to know how she always finds me? Well she bribed Zechs with never revealing they were related to stick a tracking device on me!
Then why in the hell haven't you just taken it off already?! You're supposed to be the Goddamn Perfect Soldier and you still have a puny tracking device on you?!
Well if you hadn't of shot me then Zechs couldn't of gotten Sally drunk and convinced her to stick the damn thing in one of my lungs!!
Ah but where did she get that king of device, it's freaking Relena-I'm A Moron –Dorlain/PeaceIdiot for Godsakes?!
Well you know when her father was assassinated? Well when she met J she sorta bribed him to give it to her.
What could she bribe him with that could posses him to wreak you his "ultimate creation"?
Oh she gave him a mint condition set of OZ Leaders trading cards featuring Lady Une, Trieze, Zechs, Noin , Alex, and Mueller.
Dude! They make those?!
Yeah she got them from Hilde's Shop apparently she makes a killing making those.
Wouldn't that just make them easier to assassinate?
Well yes, but you see Hilde got approval from Nickhol because he's in love with Lady Une and he got approval by raiding a Revolutionary War Reenactment Costume warehouse giving all those funny outfits to Romafeller.
That reminds me why did they want those outfits?
Well that's because Duke Dermail and Tsuberov lost a drinking match to the Magunacs so they had to do it.
But that doesn't explain the Magunacs' funny outfits.
Oh they wear them because they were challenged to a "Honor Match" of Parcheesi by Merian and Catherine which turned into Strip Parcheesi by the end of the night along with the Jell-O shooters and Catherine won so she picked their outfits.
O-oh I see.
And that is why Relena can always find me. Hey don't look at me like that it wasn't that hard a concept.