Okay, does anyone remember the Cordefic that Lin wrote? It was really really good, even if it was a long long long time ago. I started writing an awards ceremony for her a long long time ago, just after she had written it, but the scene was lost for a long long time. I just found it again, so y'all get to read it in this one. Chapter 2, I think. Aside from that, this one is just a vain attempt to keep my mind off college.
In Which Nothing Really Happens And Only Small Bits Of It Make Sense.
Also titled: Cordefic Number Twenty, Which Is A Rather Significant Achievement If You Think About It, Which You Probably Don't.
Chapter 1
"Corde," said Tinka, "I just want you to know that your last Cordefic was almost… well, it was kinda… uh, gee, it was nearly… dude, Corde, that thing was practically SANE!"
Corde's jaw dropped. "It was WHAT?!?"
"Uh… sane-ish? Slightly less than insane? A full load of bricks? An entire deck of cards? A picnic plus several ants?"
Corde began to bawl.
Tinka attempted to soothe her. "Now, I'm not saying it was BAD at all. I mean, it was still FUNNY. It was just… not as insane as your normal stuff."
Aeryn slapped Corde upside the head. "I wasn't in it enough," she said.
Tinka nodded. "Yeah, pretty much."
Chapter 2
A roar of cheering can be heard in the distance.
"Don't use the passive voice," said Aeryn, as she smacked Corde upside the head.
"Ow," said Corde.
Chapter 2
A crowd of voices chants, "Lin! Lin! Lin!"
"And don't use present tense, you crouton!" Aeryn yelled, smacking Corde yet again.
"Ow," said Corde.
Chapter 2
Corde dragged a blushing Lin to a stage which had been placed in her fic for just such a purpose. The shippers chanted, "Lin! Lin! Lin!" Corde handed her a bouquet of pretty flowers and a glittery tiara. She then snagged an Einstein's Bros. Bagel bag and read off the speech that had been written on it in crayon.
"Lin," she said proudly, "you have done very well. Your Cordefic honors all Cordefic with its superfluous chapters, gratuitous use of false endings, and most of all, its pure unadulterated silliness. You are being honored with not only my prestigious Bagel of Approval, but also my not-as-well-known-but-no-less-prestigious, perhaps moreso because of its rarity, considering I only just came up with it, in fact it was created just for Lin and…"
Several voices shouted as one, "GET ON WITH IT!"
"Right! Sorry," Corde said. "Anyway… Lin gets the Crosant of Achievement!"
Everyone cheered.
Aeryn smacked Corde upside the head. "You spelled 'croissant' wrong."
Chapter 3
It was a normal day on Moya. The sun was shining, birds were singing…
Oh wait, no.
Chapter 3
It was a normal day on Moya. There was no sun, and there were no birds. Well there was a Sun, namely one ex-PK Aeryn Sun, but that's a rather overused pun, so I didn't think I'd use it, but then it just sort of happened…
"GET ON WITH IT!"
Right! Sorry.
Chapter 3
It was a normal day on Moya. Aeryn and Crichton were tinkering with their respective ships in the cargo bay, trying not to act like they were flirting with each other. Zhaan was naked. D'Argo and Chi were… well, you know. Rygel was eating. Just a typical day.
"You've used that one before," Aeryn said, smacking Corde per usual.
"Do what?" Corde asked, rubbing the ever-growing lump on the back of her head.
"You've used that paragraph. Except for the D'Argo and Chiana part. It's in the very second Cordefic you ever wrote."
"DAMN," Corde said.
Chapter 3
Crichton and Aeryn were alone.
"WOO HOO!" the shippers shouted..
"SHUT UP!" Corde shouted. "You don't even know what they're going to do!"
"We can always hope!" one shipper yelled back.
Chapter 3
Aeryn turned to Crichton and said, "I would never say that!"
Crichton was confused. "What?"
"I was talking to Corde," Aeryn explained.
Corde sighed. "Stick to the script, Aeryn."
Aeryn rolled her eyes.
Chapter 3
Aeryn turned to Crichton and said, "You wanna do that thing?"
Crichton was still confused. "What?"
Corde stalked over to Crichton, smacked him upside the head, and yelled, "STICK TO THE FRELLING SCRIPT!"
"Ow," said Crichton.
Chapter… oh, to hell with it.
THE END
Chapter 4
"MOO!" Corde shouted. Everyone stared at her.
THE END
To Tinka: Was that insane enough for you?