Insane and reckless, huh? Okay. "Ram the Blade Ship," I gave the order, and ordered myself not to think about the consequences.
"Jake....Little Brother..." Tom looked at me with tears in his eyes, "Thank you..." I glanced around, and controlled the urge to morph, right after I noticed the orange stripes growing on my skin. There was nothing, except my big brother. "You finally killed him....and you didn't kill me, remember, he said he could morph his host, that's what he did, giving me to one of his underlings."
I gaped, at least I think I gaped. I should be relieved, happy. But I had still killed. I had killed my cousin, what had looked like my brother, 17,000 innocent yeerks.
"I was so tangled up inside, when I realized that YOU were in charge of the "Andalite Bandits". I wanted to cry and at the same time I wanted to cheer, and warn you of who I was. But then I realized you probably already knew, and a lot of things made sense."
I stood there, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him about the phone call. I wanted to tell him I was sorry. I wanted to do everything. I had my brother back. It was what I had worked for the entire war. And he wasn't Tom, any more than I was Jake any more.
"Where are we?" I finally managed to choke it out. It sounded so unemotional, so inappropriate, but I couldn't make anything else come out.
"Within The One," Tom, said a mystical quality creeping in to his voice.
I stared at him, hoping he'd explain and that I wouldn't have to speak again. My mouth was dry and every moment I saw Tom alive in front of me, my throat constricted.
"The One is impressed by you and wants to meet you. And all of the others. The saviors of Earth." Tom's voice didn't seem like his at all, it was a projection of someone else's voice. "Jake the Yeerk Killer, I want you all to be part of the one, go get Cassie, and then return, return to live as part of the one, with Cassie and Tom."
My gut shouted at me. I knew this was wrong somehow. I knew the person in front of me was no longer Tom. I felt myself regain composure. Tom who was not Tom, I was used to. "Who are you?" I demanded.
"Who are you?" the voice within Tom asked back. "We are all within One, and I am the One, and you are the One."
Oh great, I thought, someone even more cryptic than Crayak and the Ellimist.
"Where are the others?" I asked.
"Where are you? They are there...."
An unsettling sensation reverberated through my entire being, not unlike morphing...but with no physical changes. Gradually, I became a red tailed hawk, but not outwardly. I starting seeing with the hawks vision, and think with the hawk's mind, but this hawk's mind was different, human-like. And staring into a bedroom window, stricken with fear. An open bedroom window with a drawer waiting, and a Bic Mac on the window sill. Inside that window a girl sat, a blonde girl, humming to herself and putting together outfits.
Tobias...Tobias....are you in here... I tried thought-speak, unsure of what had happened, but making a heartrending guess.
Jake? Where are you? In morph? I can't see you anywhere...I've looked at the entire meadow...not even a cockroach or a rat...but there's...
Tobias's thought speak was grief ridden. McDonald's I finished softly,and.... My silence said enough. This may sound strange but, Tobias, I think morphed to being you, while you were you.
Wha...?
I see the window sill...and that there's nothing in the meadow and I see.....all as if I were inside of you, I saw Tom, alive... Suddenly I felt the pain Tobias must have gone through a thousand times before. I wanted to cry, but hawks don't shed tears. I felt the desire for release, a release that I never realized my friend could never have for more than two hours at a time.
I'm inside, you, part of you, I don't know how, I don't understand, its the alien who called himself The One, through Ax Tobias and I glared fiercely at the window.
It's not....I felt Tobias (and my?) head nod toward the open window. She died. The real her, is dead. With that we took to the air and flew into nothingness.
Slowly the red tailed vision faded away, a gust of cool nothingness brushed against my molecules. I felt immense joy as my being was swept away. And at the same time, shaded sorrow and regret. I would live, as my molecules joined with others to form something entirely new and different. And yet, I was already dead. Already dead? I gasped, only I couldn't gasp, there was not enough of my physical self left. I tried thought speak again, a very strangled and tense version of thought speak. Rachel?
Jake.....how did you? Oh...I see....You are lucky, had you known the rules, you too would have to share my fate. But that's okay. It was the alien who sent you. Jake, you're not allowed to Visit the dead. You might see too much, or too little, or not enough. I don't know. But....well....tell Tobias I will love him always...how disgusting was that? And that this is the most joyous thing...ignore the sorrow I....and you....feel lightly. I'm told its normal. Don't worry about me....I think....
The Hork-Bajir Valley surrounded me on all sides. The one after the attack. With all of the parents there, bickering, going on and on. This was a bad, bad time in my life, and yet it was the happiest. My mom and dad were together. Things were as peaceful as the could be, in the midst of everything. My Dad was happy. Wait...Marco? I was pretty sure what was going on by now. I felt kind of like I imagined a yeerk might. Feeling Marco's innermost thoughts, Rachel's and Tobias's. But how, how was I going back and forth between my friends? Rachel had said something about Visiting. I knew instinctively that this was important. Or maybe you just pay more attention to your dying cousin.
"Mmmm...Jake? What are you morphed as this time, cantaloupe? Cockroach? Flea? So close to alliteration there.."
You Marco.
"Funny, I don't see another me. I mean someone else with my looks and personality would be impossible to miss."
You really do feel that way about yourself don't you?
"Of course."
Im inside you, not like with the Helmacrons, more like a yeerk-type thing, I feel your thoughts and hear your feelings...and I was with Rachel too, and Tobias and I saw Tom. Its the alien who called himself the one.
"Oh great. Im sure this a new power you've been given in order to drag you, and consequently me, into another farfetched, impossible war against strange aliens that we hardly know anything about."
I...uh...really don't know what this about....except, /this/ was the happiest time in your life?
We shrugged. "One of them, except for the fact that.."
I was going bonkers I finished for him.
"Weird."
I thought we'd seen everything.
"You know, you really shouldn't challenge fate like that, it'll screw with your head every time. I mean..."
Marco's rambling faded, and I found a jumble within my own head. I was a war-prince now. I was no longer in my brother's shadow. Yet...here he was, in front of me. Ignoring me...unable...unwilling to see how human I'd become? But had he not married a human, as a nothlit? Perhaps he was disappointed in how Andalite I had become...but I was both, human, and Andalite. I finally remembered what had been happening, and was glad for the power of thought-speak once again. And I had thought it was useful before.
Ax?
Jake, is that you?
Something tugged at my brain, but I couldn't place my finger on what. I knew it would snap, eventually. But, would eventually be too late?
Yes. I seem to be jumping from person to person, as if I'm possessing them, only I have no control over them, I can tell them I'm there, or not...I don't know..."
This might be some obscure alien technology. It is highly likely. Though I must admit I feel as though I have a Yeerk in my head.
Yeah, Jake the mighty Yeerk killer getting up close and personal with I stopped myself. This was no time to dwell on all of the horrible things I'd done in the past. Rachel said something about Visiting.
You were one with Rachel? his thought-speak sounded appalled.
It was different. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I'm not Marco, I didn't think a joke would be appropriate.
d o n t tr ust prin ce jake a feeble but triumphant thought pierced into my (our?) head.
What?
Nothing Prince Jake, I have been One with the One, and it is a good feeling. Perhaps I shall return to this illusion another time, it seems we have much to discuss.
The form of Elfangor vanished swiftly into nothingness.
You have been given a technology by the One, it's called Visiting. In order to activate one must know the exact location of the person they wish to Visit. Which is why I was so surprised that you could Visit one dead, no one knows exactly where that is. Of course The One may be more powerful than it lets on. Perhaps even of the Ellimist's caliber. Perhaps not. In short The One has been sending you to Visit your friends so that you know they are okay, and wished that you would Visit Cassie. He wants us all, to fight for him. His world is in dismay, the Other has been decimating the One with forbidden methods and must be stopped.
I would have blinked. Had I not been "Visiting" Ax. Marco was right. Another war. I didn't want to...why should I lie even to myself? I wanted to go back, to be in control...to make the decisions. It was all I knew, what I grew up with. But was it my place to get involved in the war of a different species? And would it make me just like the Andalite's to refuse?
You are thinking under false pretenses, Prince Jake, there is no choice. You will fight for the One.
I make my own decisions. I wanted to glare at something. But I guess Andalites don't glare much.
You will have a choice, then.
"Mommy, mommy, MOMMY!" I cried, wailed, wrapping my aura around her. Trying to bring her back. Her aura slid silently into mine, and whispered goodbye. I used the tentacles from physical body and grasped my mother's physical self and began slowly to ingest her into my being. I was too young. This war...it had taken all of my family, and now, I just barely 300 would have to take their places within. As soon as final ingestion had commenced, I would have to report to my mother's supervisor. I should have another 1000 cycles at least. But with this war, I didn't know how long before I would be ingested. I didn't even have offspring to ingest me, our line would die out. With me.
I ignored the physical hunger, and sought my few rations of spiritual nourishment. It was time. I was too young. What had happened to make me deserve this?
The nothingness where I met Tom surrounded me once again. "Have you chosen?" The One/Tom asked me.
Too young. Thrown unprepared into a war she never even wanted. Could I stand by and let that happen to someone else? To many someone else's?
"I have chosen for myself. But the others must get a choice as well. I will not force them into another war."
"They will come....all that are able. Now before I meet with all of you, make one more Visit."
I smiled at the dirt under my feet. Despite....everything, I still liked the sensation of being dirty and doing a job well. Marriage. Funny...dirt to marriage. Marriage to a different time...with a different boy...no man, Jake never really was a boy. I didn't like getting this way, part of me knew I had to think about these things. Had to put some closure in my life. And the rest me thought I had. I still couldn't help but worry about him...you never do stop caring for someone you love that much. Out there, on a mission, again. Maybe its best for him...maybe marriage is best for me...
I screamed silently to myself. I didn't want to know Cassie's personal thoughts. I didn't want to Visit her. I couldn't bring myself to announce my presence. To embarrass her with what I'd heard. I choked on silent grief, and I hoped that she would marry. I loved her too much to want to see her unhappy.
Tom/The One looked at me. "Well?"
"Cassie doesn't go." I said flatly.
"Too bad, you already said that everyone would get to make their own choice."
I sensed something cold in Tom's voice. And a memory surfaced inside me, Jake is that you? Ax had said to me.
"Jake....Little Brother..." Tom looked at me with tears in his eyes, "Thank you..." I glanced around, and controlled the urge to morph, right after I noticed the orange stripes growing on my skin. There was nothing, except my big brother. "You finally killed him....and you didn't kill me, remember, he said he could morph his host, that's what he did, giving me to one of his underlings."
I gaped, at least I think I gaped. I should be relieved, happy. But I had still killed. I had killed my cousin, what had looked like my brother, 17,000 innocent yeerks.
"I was so tangled up inside, when I realized that YOU were in charge of the "Andalite Bandits". I wanted to cry and at the same time I wanted to cheer, and warn you of who I was. But then I realized you probably already knew, and a lot of things made sense."
I stood there, I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream. I wanted to tell him about the phone call. I wanted to tell him I was sorry. I wanted to do everything. I had my brother back. It was what I had worked for the entire war. And he wasn't Tom, any more than I was Jake any more.
"Where are we?" I finally managed to choke it out. It sounded so unemotional, so inappropriate, but I couldn't make anything else come out.
"Within The One," Tom, said a mystical quality creeping in to his voice.
I stared at him, hoping he'd explain and that I wouldn't have to speak again. My mouth was dry and every moment I saw Tom alive in front of me, my throat constricted.
"The One is impressed by you and wants to meet you. And all of the others. The saviors of Earth." Tom's voice didn't seem like his at all, it was a projection of someone else's voice. "Jake the Yeerk Killer, I want you all to be part of the one, go get Cassie, and then return, return to live as part of the one, with Cassie and Tom."
My gut shouted at me. I knew this was wrong somehow. I knew the person in front of me was no longer Tom. I felt myself regain composure. Tom who was not Tom, I was used to. "Who are you?" I demanded.
"Who are you?" the voice within Tom asked back. "We are all within One, and I am the One, and you are the One."
Oh great, I thought, someone even more cryptic than Crayak and the Ellimist.
"Where are the others?" I asked.
"Where are you? They are there...."
An unsettling sensation reverberated through my entire being, not unlike morphing...but with no physical changes. Gradually, I became a red tailed hawk, but not outwardly. I starting seeing with the hawks vision, and think with the hawk's mind, but this hawk's mind was different, human-like. And staring into a bedroom window, stricken with fear. An open bedroom window with a drawer waiting, and a Bic Mac on the window sill. Inside that window a girl sat, a blonde girl, humming to herself and putting together outfits.
Tobias...Tobias....are you in here... I tried thought-speak, unsure of what had happened, but making a heartrending guess.
Jake? Where are you? In morph? I can't see you anywhere...I've looked at the entire meadow...not even a cockroach or a rat...but there's...
Tobias's thought speak was grief ridden. McDonald's I finished softly,and.... My silence said enough. This may sound strange but, Tobias, I think morphed to being you, while you were you.
Wha...?
I see the window sill...and that there's nothing in the meadow and I see.....all as if I were inside of you, I saw Tom, alive... Suddenly I felt the pain Tobias must have gone through a thousand times before. I wanted to cry, but hawks don't shed tears. I felt the desire for release, a release that I never realized my friend could never have for more than two hours at a time.
I'm inside, you, part of you, I don't know how, I don't understand, its the alien who called himself The One, through Ax Tobias and I glared fiercely at the window.
It's not....I felt Tobias (and my?) head nod toward the open window. She died. The real her, is dead. With that we took to the air and flew into nothingness.
Slowly the red tailed vision faded away, a gust of cool nothingness brushed against my molecules. I felt immense joy as my being was swept away. And at the same time, shaded sorrow and regret. I would live, as my molecules joined with others to form something entirely new and different. And yet, I was already dead. Already dead? I gasped, only I couldn't gasp, there was not enough of my physical self left. I tried thought speak again, a very strangled and tense version of thought speak. Rachel?
Jake.....how did you? Oh...I see....You are lucky, had you known the rules, you too would have to share my fate. But that's okay. It was the alien who sent you. Jake, you're not allowed to Visit the dead. You might see too much, or too little, or not enough. I don't know. But....well....tell Tobias I will love him always...how disgusting was that? And that this is the most joyous thing...ignore the sorrow I....and you....feel lightly. I'm told its normal. Don't worry about me....I think....
The Hork-Bajir Valley surrounded me on all sides. The one after the attack. With all of the parents there, bickering, going on and on. This was a bad, bad time in my life, and yet it was the happiest. My mom and dad were together. Things were as peaceful as the could be, in the midst of everything. My Dad was happy. Wait...Marco? I was pretty sure what was going on by now. I felt kind of like I imagined a yeerk might. Feeling Marco's innermost thoughts, Rachel's and Tobias's. But how, how was I going back and forth between my friends? Rachel had said something about Visiting. I knew instinctively that this was important. Or maybe you just pay more attention to your dying cousin.
"Mmmm...Jake? What are you morphed as this time, cantaloupe? Cockroach? Flea? So close to alliteration there.."
You Marco.
"Funny, I don't see another me. I mean someone else with my looks and personality would be impossible to miss."
You really do feel that way about yourself don't you?
"Of course."
Im inside you, not like with the Helmacrons, more like a yeerk-type thing, I feel your thoughts and hear your feelings...and I was with Rachel too, and Tobias and I saw Tom. Its the alien who called himself the one.
"Oh great. Im sure this a new power you've been given in order to drag you, and consequently me, into another farfetched, impossible war against strange aliens that we hardly know anything about."
I...uh...really don't know what this about....except, /this/ was the happiest time in your life?
We shrugged. "One of them, except for the fact that.."
I was going bonkers I finished for him.
"Weird."
I thought we'd seen everything.
"You know, you really shouldn't challenge fate like that, it'll screw with your head every time. I mean..."
Marco's rambling faded, and I found a jumble within my own head. I was a war-prince now. I was no longer in my brother's shadow. Yet...here he was, in front of me. Ignoring me...unable...unwilling to see how human I'd become? But had he not married a human, as a nothlit? Perhaps he was disappointed in how Andalite I had become...but I was both, human, and Andalite. I finally remembered what had been happening, and was glad for the power of thought-speak once again. And I had thought it was useful before.
Ax?
Jake, is that you?
Something tugged at my brain, but I couldn't place my finger on what. I knew it would snap, eventually. But, would eventually be too late?
Yes. I seem to be jumping from person to person, as if I'm possessing them, only I have no control over them, I can tell them I'm there, or not...I don't know..."
This might be some obscure alien technology. It is highly likely. Though I must admit I feel as though I have a Yeerk in my head.
Yeah, Jake the mighty Yeerk killer getting up close and personal with I stopped myself. This was no time to dwell on all of the horrible things I'd done in the past. Rachel said something about Visiting.
You were one with Rachel? his thought-speak sounded appalled.
It was different. I couldn't think of anything else to say. I'm not Marco, I didn't think a joke would be appropriate.
d o n t tr ust prin ce jake a feeble but triumphant thought pierced into my (our?) head.
What?
Nothing Prince Jake, I have been One with the One, and it is a good feeling. Perhaps I shall return to this illusion another time, it seems we have much to discuss.
The form of Elfangor vanished swiftly into nothingness.
You have been given a technology by the One, it's called Visiting. In order to activate one must know the exact location of the person they wish to Visit. Which is why I was so surprised that you could Visit one dead, no one knows exactly where that is. Of course The One may be more powerful than it lets on. Perhaps even of the Ellimist's caliber. Perhaps not. In short The One has been sending you to Visit your friends so that you know they are okay, and wished that you would Visit Cassie. He wants us all, to fight for him. His world is in dismay, the Other has been decimating the One with forbidden methods and must be stopped.
I would have blinked. Had I not been "Visiting" Ax. Marco was right. Another war. I didn't want to...why should I lie even to myself? I wanted to go back, to be in control...to make the decisions. It was all I knew, what I grew up with. But was it my place to get involved in the war of a different species? And would it make me just like the Andalite's to refuse?
You are thinking under false pretenses, Prince Jake, there is no choice. You will fight for the One.
I make my own decisions. I wanted to glare at something. But I guess Andalites don't glare much.
You will have a choice, then.
"Mommy, mommy, MOMMY!" I cried, wailed, wrapping my aura around her. Trying to bring her back. Her aura slid silently into mine, and whispered goodbye. I used the tentacles from physical body and grasped my mother's physical self and began slowly to ingest her into my being. I was too young. This war...it had taken all of my family, and now, I just barely 300 would have to take their places within. As soon as final ingestion had commenced, I would have to report to my mother's supervisor. I should have another 1000 cycles at least. But with this war, I didn't know how long before I would be ingested. I didn't even have offspring to ingest me, our line would die out. With me.
I ignored the physical hunger, and sought my few rations of spiritual nourishment. It was time. I was too young. What had happened to make me deserve this?
The nothingness where I met Tom surrounded me once again. "Have you chosen?" The One/Tom asked me.
Too young. Thrown unprepared into a war she never even wanted. Could I stand by and let that happen to someone else? To many someone else's?
"I have chosen for myself. But the others must get a choice as well. I will not force them into another war."
"They will come....all that are able. Now before I meet with all of you, make one more Visit."
I smiled at the dirt under my feet. Despite....everything, I still liked the sensation of being dirty and doing a job well. Marriage. Funny...dirt to marriage. Marriage to a different time...with a different boy...no man, Jake never really was a boy. I didn't like getting this way, part of me knew I had to think about these things. Had to put some closure in my life. And the rest me thought I had. I still couldn't help but worry about him...you never do stop caring for someone you love that much. Out there, on a mission, again. Maybe its best for him...maybe marriage is best for me...
I screamed silently to myself. I didn't want to know Cassie's personal thoughts. I didn't want to Visit her. I couldn't bring myself to announce my presence. To embarrass her with what I'd heard. I choked on silent grief, and I hoped that she would marry. I loved her too much to want to see her unhappy.
Tom/The One looked at me. "Well?"
"Cassie doesn't go." I said flatly.
"Too bad, you already said that everyone would get to make their own choice."
I sensed something cold in Tom's voice. And a memory surfaced inside me, Jake is that you? Ax had said to me.