Sephiroth glowered at his reflection. "Explain WHY I have to wear a bow-tie once again?" he asked, his eyes focusing on the blonde fat man behind him.
President Shinra sighed, blowing cigar smoke from his lips as he removed the fat cigar from his mouth. "Its tradition, Sephiroth. Now look, I've always considered you sort-of like my own son. I saw you grow up, and I'm going to see you get married the right way."
"Your son? Oh goody..." Sephiroth's voice dripped sarcasm.
"Stop that, you sound like your fiancée. And leave that damn coat of yours here!" Shinra snapped and swiped the large black leather coat from Sephiroth's hands, tossing it to one of the remaining tailors- Sephiroth either sent the rest running or to the infirmary.
Practically on the other side of Sephiroth's mirror, Kathryn stood on a small stool, feeling squished and pinched into the dress. She stood glowering as the tailors finished the last touches on the long train of her dress. She really couldn't breath and truly didn't think that she was fat enough to require a corset but they'd insisted.
"Darling! Try to smile! It's your wedding to the most handsome man on the planet!" the elderly woman said with a kind smile. Kathryn would have licked her if she hadn't been the one to sew the torment together.
"I don't care what he looks like- he's an absolute beast!" she screamed at the top of her lungs.
* * *
"I'm live at the Wedding of the Century, folks! In the largest church in Midgar, here, in sector three! Shinra really paid out the big cash on this one, that's for sure, Harry- see if you can get some of the decorations here!" The camera moved from the reporter man to the hung flowers and ribbons everywhere. "It's almost twelve on the dot! By the looks of things, Shinra has been working at this the moment the announcement was made! Absolutely beautiful! Can't wait to see the bride!"
A fanfare sounded from the live band off to the right of the stage. A hush fell over the entire church as everyone was seated, cameras focused on the door where the best men were leading the bride's maids out. Mostly it was Shinra Executives and their spouses or significant others. Finally, they were lined up and in place, then Sephiroth came storming out, his hair tied back in a braid, a scowl on his face and he simply ignored the pace he was supposed to walk at.
Another fanfare sounded and all eyes turned to look at the doors as the bride appeared, walking herself down the aisle, her father having neglected to show up. She looked absolutely furious as she stomped her way to the altar, her train dragging in the dust, the small children meant to carry it scampering along behind, trying to catch up with her.
The preacher smiled and blinked with squinty eyes at the couple, "Now... where were we... Ashes to Ashes- no wait.. that's the wrong one..." he flipped in his book to a different page and stuck his nose against the page. "Oh yes, that's right... Mowage is the most sacred of all unions, not to be confused with bondage or carnage-" the bride and groom looked at each other, Kathryn though her gauzy veil and Seph from between his high-arched bangs.
"annoying?" Kathryn mouthed and Sephiroth's answer was to glance away with a slight roll of his eyes.
The old man continued to babble, "And my aunt Berthal said, 'I can't see my life without my dearest Eddie-' or was it Eddie that said that? I can't remember clearly-"
"THEN GET ON WITH IT!" Kathryn and Sephiroth said at the same time. Kathryn blushed but continued to glower at the sputtering priest.
"Mowage..." he stammered, "is the most sacred-"
"YOU ALREADY SAID THAT!" Sephiroth and Kathryn once again said in unison, completely by accident.
"I- I've lost my place..." the old priest said after a long pause and peered at his book. Kathryn took a step to her left, away from Sephiroth, putting one hand to her forehead under her veil, the other across her stomach, bracing her elbow.
"Oh yes! Now I remember... It was Aunt Berthal who said it," the priest proclaimed and continued, "Now my dear Uncle Eddie wasn't one to be outdone so he said....." Sephiroth looked about to fall over, Kathryn's hands were clenched tightly on her skirt. "Now those two were the most beautiful couple I've ever seen, even to this day I haven't seen two people more perfect for each other then those two. Mowage is more then a binding of ..." he checked his notes, "carnage- no that's not it..."
"Kill kill kill kill kill..." Kathryn was muttering under her breath.
"Ahha! Mowage is more then a binding of two people, but a binding of souls! And now... a prayer." The priest and all those present bowed their heads as the priest said something in some strange language. Everyone except Sephiroth and Kathryn.
"Your face is all red," Sephiroth commented softly to her.
"Shut up you jerk. If it weren't for you I wouldn't be wearing this dress and I would be able to breath and my face wouldn't be red!" she snapped back at him.
"Going to blame it all on me. You know I was forced into this just like you," he replied between gritted teeth.
"You have lipstick smeared on your teeth," Sephiroth pointed out.
"I do?!"
"And do you, Sephiroth, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" the priest said, now looking at Sephiroth but neither of them noticed.
"You're an absolute beast, you know that, Sephiroth I can't stand even the thought of touching you let alone sleeping with you," Kathryn snarled at him under her veil, they were now facing each other, both shaking with fury.
"Excuse me.... Sephiroth- do you-" the priest started to repeat himself.
"Yes, whatever!" Sephiroth snapped at the old man then went to return an insult to Kathryn, "and as well the thought of being near you makes me sick."
The microphones placed on the priest's lapel caught every single word the two spoke, though neither noticed as they were too intent on arguing. The priest spoke another prayer, completely oblivious that the bride and groom were on the edge of exchanging blows, none in the audience was paying attention to the priest as the battle of wills ensued before them.
Kathryn looked behind her when she felt someone poke her, "WHAT?!" she roared, grabbing the ring offered to her and throwing it at Sephiroth. "Take THAT you dipstick!" he caught the ring out of the air before it hit him and snorted.
"You're so fat, I doubt this would even fit you," he replied holding up the other one. Her eyes flared in anger just the same as his did.
Snatching the wring from his hand, she tore off her glove to put the ring on and held up her hand, "it DOES fit, so that blows your theory, jerk! When this is over I'm going to kick you so hard-"
"You may now kiss the bride," the priest toned, his voice downed out by Sephiroth and Kathryn's argument.
"You already threatened to do that, little wench," Sephiroth snarled.
"And I was kind to you and only kicked you hard enough to put a dent in that oversized ego of yours!"
"Oversized- you want to see oversized, look in the mirror!"
"How DARE YOU!" Kathryn threw herself at Sephiroth, her manicured nails ready to scratch his eyes out. He grabbed her wrists, spinning her around and pinning her arms against her sides with one arm, his hand on her neck, ready to crush it. Suddenly, she slammed the heel of her high-heel down on his foot, "HA! You underestimated the power of HIGH HEELS!" she shrieked as she tore free.
"SHUT UP!" he roared at her.
"MAKE ME!" she shrieked at him.
"FINE!" His hand snapped out to grab her throat again and only caught her veil as she slipped back, tripping over the train of her dress. The veil was torn from her hair and his other hand caught her arm. He smirked, surprising her by slamming his mouth down onto hers, figuring she would faint again. Her teeth found his lip and bit down hard as her nails tore at his cheek. Finally, she tore away from him, sorting herself out and storming down the aisle to get away from Sephiroth. "Come back here you little wench!" he yelled following after her, intent on murder.
The entire audience of the whole fiasco stared in disbelief at what had just occurred. Finally, a few brave souls fell to the floor giggling. The band belatedly struck up the exit march for the bride and groom.