Dear Diary

--- Author's Note ---

This is the last chapter in the diary. The next part is what happens after she finshes reading. It can still be made into a sorato or taiora. Oh, I love the suspense. I've already written up the epilogue but I'm not posting it until I get 45 reviews.

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Dear Diary

Chapter Five

3:15 pm, Saturday afternoon

Dear Diary,

I did it. I broke things of with Matt. We went for a walk in the park and told him I couldn't do it anymore. We both got choked up about it, but I know deep in our hearts we both feel the same way. He's lonely and I'm lonely and we just turned to each other. But entering into an actual out-in-the-open relationship would've been impossible and wrong. We could never have felt good about it...

Our fingers interlaced, Matt and I strolled into the tree-filled area of the park. The path was empty. When we came into a wooden bench under a spreading oak tree, we sat down.

"It's pretty here, isn't it?" Matt commented, slipping an arm around my shoulders. "Peaceful."

"It is," I agreed. "But Matt..."

He turned to face me. There was a sad shadow in his sapphire eyes; he knew what I was going to say.

"We can't do this anymore," I said softly. "Coming to the park because we know no one will see us here... not being able to go to the movies, not being able to go out to dinner, not holding hands at school... hasn't it been driving you nuts?"

Matt laughed wryly. "Yeah, I guess, But I keep telling myself I'd be even more nuts if I couldn't spend time with you," he said, looking right into my eyes.

"We can still spend time together," I pointed out. "In public to... if we do it as friends."

"You mean... go back?"

There was a ragged edge to his voice. I could tell he was close to tears. The famous Matt Ishida, about to cry because of me.

I nodded. "Yes," I replied. "Go back... to the way they were before."

Without speaking, Matt pulled me closer to him. "You're a wonderful girl, Sora," he whispered in my ear.

"Your a great guy, Matt," I replied softly.

"I'm not sorry you know,' he said looking at my face. "I'll never forget what we shared."

"Me either," I replied. I lifted my face and kissed him softly for the last time.

Diary, I think we'll be able to stay good friends- thank god. There aren't any hard feelings. I know Matt cares about me deeply, and I'll always have a place for him in a secret part of my heart. And we promised each other: under no circumstances will we ever tell anyone what happened between us.

So, I'm on my own now diary- really on my own. And you know what? I think I'm going to be able to pull my heart together and move on. I think I'm going to me okay.