One Lonely Shoe Part 6/?
"The Ball: Chaos and Control or When We Last Left Our Hero and Heroine"
Author: Nefret24
Disclaimers n' stuff: see parts 1 and up
Author's Note: I live in fear of Len's terrier. Here it is- the end is not far now. Sniff sniff hope this isn't too painful a readand I swear I will work at the next part with all diligence!
****
"Where the hell is Toby?" Leo was pissed. And since I was standing right there not doing much of anything except shoving crab puffs into my mouth, he decided to take out his wrath on me.
"Ah dwonth knothe," I said trying to enunciate through the crab. Swallowing, I said, "Maybe he's beating up Sam in the parking lot."
"The speech is in four minutes"
"I only have quarter of"
"And I have a real watch. Find him. Now." he said huffily, turning to the woman on his right and politely asking about her kids.
"Geez, okay."
"And save some of the crab puffs for the other guests!"
Is it just me or are some days just so very very not my days? Luckily, however, I found Sam first- and unbruised as he was- I figured he hadn't encountered Toby in the last five minutes either.
"He'suh, taking care of something else."
"What?"
"There was just a little business that he had to take care of back at the office"
"Sam, this is his big speech night."
"Yeah."
"It's gonna startsoon."
"Yeah."
"He's not here?"
"Yeah."
"Okay." We stood in silence, watching the guests dance and chatter and eat canapes and truffles and cheese on tiny sticks. I was pondering how to quickly escape Leo's wrath for a) not finding Toby b)not bringing a date and c) making a fool out of myself, as I knew I would when I finally had to apologize to the Czech dude.
Whatever Sam was thinking couldn't have been much better- I assume it was how to dodge Toby once he got back from wherever the hell he was.
"I added to the speech," Sam said, his voice straining to be casual.
"Really?"
"The President was really happy with it."
"What'd Toby say?"
"He doesn't know."
"Oh."
"I'm dog meat."
"Yep."
Another silence. Then suddenly, I realized something.
"Where's CJ?"
"Hmmm?"
"CJ. I don't see her around anywhere," I said, scanning the ballroom.
"She's probably in the bathroom."
"In the bathroom?"
"You know, touching up her makeup, powdering her nose or doing otherfeminine thingsthat women do." And Sam a speechwriter. Heaven help us all.
"Right." By the way, do you have a bridge you'd like to sell me cheap?
"Fixing her lipstick."
"You don't suppose.?"
"What?"
"You don't suppose she's with Toby?"
"Nah. Just putting on mascara. She'll be out here any minute." Sam is really nervous for some reason.
"She and him don't have a thing do they?"
"A thing?"
"Yeah. A thing."
"Not a you and Donna thing, no."
"What d'ya mean, 'a me and Donna thing'?" See? I told you! Happens all the time.
"You guys have a thing," Sam said very pointedly.
"We do not have a thing." I think I was making my consternation known, through body language and tone of voice. Sam was not picking up on this.
"If Sergio didn't exist, would you have brought Donna here tonight?"
If that wasn't a question out of left field. What the hell did he mean, "if Sergio didn't exist"? I really had no desire to get into an existential debate with him now. Leo was going to have my ass and Toby and CJ were nowhere to be found and I really wanted another crab puff
Goddamn it, yes!
I didn't respond to Sam. As usual, he jumped to his own conclusions. "See? Told. You. So."
I hate it when he's right even when all evidence is to the contrary and he makes assumptions he has no business doing. Subtext, indeed. Oh well, if I was going to have to feel like hell, I was dragging him down with me.
"Toby's gonna kill you for messing with the speech."
"Yeah," Sam replied, gulping down the rest of his champagne.
Okay, so I had gotten pretty much nowhere at all. So I decided to follow Sam's example- I accosted a waiter and grabbed a champagne flute before anyone could stop me.
If Donna had been there, she would have taken it from me and given me a lecture on my delicate system before I had time to swallow the first sip.
If Donna had been there I don't think I really would have needed the drink.
****
I felt like a girl being chauffered to the prom by her parents. I was stuck in the backseat of Toby's car, listening to Toby complain about how Sam was going to mess with his speech and threaten him with all kinds of inventive torture methods and other forms of bodily harm, while CJ made sarcastic comments about his temper.
Beggars can't be choosers, I told myself. Beggars can't be choosers
"I will bludgeon him with a soup tureen."
"And serve him as an appetizer, along side the lobster bisque."
I had a strong urge to ask "are we there yet?" but had a feeling that wouldn't be wise.
When we got there (finally!), Toby bolted from the car ready to save his prose from the mutilation of one S. Seaborn. I managed to hold back CJ.
"Uh, CJ?"
"Yeah?"
"Can I ask you something?" Damn, it was harder than I thought.
"Shoot."
"It's kinda personal and all, so if you wouldn't mind, like not telling anybody about this"
"I swear on the latest issue of Vogue, in honor to the sisterhood, just you and me and the asphalt will know."
"Okayuh, why did you bring me here? Why go through all the troubleto set this upthe gown and the shoes and the hair and"
"Because you're my friend! Because I'm a nice person! Because if you and Josh don't get this out in the open, I will eat my foot."
"Me and Josh? Out in the open?"
"He loves you, Donna."
"He's my boss!"
CJ sighed and began her rant. "So what? What does it matter- you both work for the same person, the same government. Keeping this unresolved can only hinder the job- unless you start the hanky panky games in the office then of course, things could slow down even more, but who's gonna notice? It's the federal government!"
"It's not like that," I said in a small voice.
"It is exactly like that."
"We're friends, okay? You're friends with him."
"Not like you're friends with him."
"He- he doesn't-" He couldn't give a fig about me. This I know. Why, if she's so perceptive about my feelings, doesn't she see his?
"Yes. Yes he does."
"Joey Lucas-" I expostulated before she cut me off again.
"Is on a plane back to California."
"I know."
"Well, there you go."
"No, I knew she was gone but Josh-"
"Would really have preferred to go with you if you hadn't started this whole Sergio business- which is only the act of a melodramatic, unrequited lover."
"I am not melodramatic!" I said indignantly.
"You're not unrequited either." With a smile, she continued, "I'm going in. You coming?"
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming. You're sure you don't notice the shoes?"
"Not at all, but then it's kinda dark out here."
"Yeah," I said, as I stumbled along behind her towards the entrance.
I got in with no problems- mostly because I was with CJ, I think- though I have to give Mrs. Landingham some of the credit- the guy did have me on his list. As soon as I entered the room, I wished I hadn't. It was more grand than I had hoped- and being here, in unfamiliar clothes, and surrounded by unfamiliar people- well, my notable sang froid basically flew out the window.
Margaret was the first to notice me.
"Donna! What are you doing here?" And then in more hushed tones, "Where's Sergio?"
"Where you left him- in his cage," I said wryly. "Whatever happened to cruel and unusual punishment?"
"Well- he is a very big dog"
"Uh-huh," I said, unconvinced, crossing my arms.
"I felt bad about leaving him therein the cage without someone in the house. You know, like in the background. For reassurance."
"I see." Actually, I didn't but then, this was Margaret, folks. She once called me up at 2:30 in the morning, absolutely terrified that she OD-ed since she took 4 Advil at once, and wanted to know if she should go to the ER to get her stomach pumped.
That was a long night. And I didn't really didn't want to know her explanations of why she felt she needed someone to be there while she was at the ball. I was taxed enough already this evening.
The point is- she wasn't angry with me, and she was glad I came and proceeded to point out the cute Czech ambassador, who was happened to be getting a drink at the bar.
It wasn't until he turned around that I got the full effect (up to that point I could only say to Margaret that yes, he was tall, and yes, his butt was reasonably cute). He was gorgeous- dark eyes, dark hair that kind of fell on his forehead in that way that makes you want to just run your hands through it and slick it back. Hmmm
And I realized that I really should go and get myself a drink. I mean, with everything else I had been through tonight alone Yep. I definitely deserved a drink.
So I walked up to the bar and placing myself next to him, I ordered politely from the bartender.
"Hello," he said, speaking with a rich accent. Oooooooh.
"Hello," I replied. Keep it cool, Donnatella.
Then after I got my drink, he introduced himself. "Jan Tribelski, Representative of the Czech Republic." Not only that, but when he did it- he bowed and kissed my hand. I could get to love that.
If only Josh could do that- "Donnatella, thank you for this file folder" then you know, bow and kiss my hand. That would be great. I might even bring him coffee if he did that
So I introduced myself: "Donnatella Moss, pleased to meet you."
"What do you do, Miss Moss?"
"Me? I'm an assistant" Here's where things got sticky. If I mentioned Josh, will he get pissed off? Considering their past history? "To a senior aide," I finished. Let him figure that one out.
"Ah. So I see. Are you enjoying yourself this evening?"
"I just got here but everything seems lovely."
"It is a very good party, but I have yet to see the President."
"Oh, I'm sure he'll want to see you eventually."
"Yes. It does not matter since I have such pleasant company in the meantime," he said, smiling down on me.
I think even my toes were blushing.
And then, after I had finished my drink, and he had finished his, and I knew more about some small city called Cesky Krumlov than I would ever care to know (and I'm sure the same goes for him concerning Madison, WI)- he asked me to dance.
Had I any sense, I would have politely refused. But no, I decided what the hey? And trying to disguise my shuffling feet, I let him lead me to the floor.
****
I was working on my second champagne flute when I ran into Sam again.
"So Toby's back then?" I said, looking at Sam's frazzled countenance.
"I'm lucky I can still walk."
"Yeah." And he was too.
"CJ too?"
"Oddly enough. But she was no help- she probably would have handed Toby the bat to break my kneecaps."
"And you don't think they have a thing?"
"No. I just think she's sadistic."
"Okay, I can see that. But the speech goes on?"
"And completely without imagery," Sam nodded.
"There's always the next one." Tried to be hopeful. I mean, while I might deserve to feel like hell, Sam surely didn't deserve the rest of his adult life in a wheelchair because of a few sentences.
"If I'm not dead by then."
I raised one eyebrow.
"He was very threatening." My eyebrow remained high. "More than usual."
"So when do I bite the big one?" God, I hate apologizing. It's soo I don't know, un-Lyman. I have a myth to promulgate. We are always right. We are without fault. We never utter the words "I am sorry".
"Yeah- Leo says in five minutes, go get him, apologize- nicely- and without saying any more than you have to, take him that room," Sam pointed, "for his time with the President. Then he'll do the speech."
"Okay."
"Five minutes."
"Yeah," I nodded, and polished off the rest of the champagne.
So, my moment of doom had come. Great. Just grrreat. As I was walking on the perimeter of the dance floor, hoping to spy a waiter with either crab puffs and/or champagne, I saw the Czech dude dancing.
Good. Now I knew where to find him in four more
Oh. My. God.
Donna?
****
So, it was kinda nice, waltzing with Jan, but he started to get kinda creepy as the dance progressed. I think maybe Czechs have a thing for blonds or something but he started making all kinds of suggestions. At first they were interesting. Then they were as funny as they were physically impossible. At that point- they were dead out frightening.
Making a fast getaway seemed to be in order, but we were kind of deadlocked, and (curse the damn shoes!) I thought I would be pretty slow in my retreat. Besides, he had taken my right hand in some kind of death grip and would not let go.
I mean, it's all well and good to flirt with a girl- but this was not a simple flirtation goin' on. I speak from experience. I thought I was going to get nail marks on my wrist.
This was bad on so many levels. As if we hadn't offended the man enough.
Personally, at that juncture, I really couldn't have cared if we offended him a lot more- he was beginning to piss me off almost as much as he scared me. But Josh didn't need another strike against him
Polite declinations, Donna. Surely you know some of those?
"Maybe we should sit down."
"Maybe later," he said, whiskey breath hot on my face. Ugh ugh ugh.
"I think I'm thirsty."
"You just had a drink. And my room is sure to have something that will please you."
Okay, all hands were not accounted for. This was sooooo not good. Not good, not good There was a hand on my ass and I was sooooo in trouble now.
"Umm, maybe we could just sit out a couple minutes, you know, catch our breath and all that"
"No!" he clenched my hand tighter.
"Ow! Could you like stop that please?" See, please? I was polite enough.
EEK! Movement down below! "What, this?" he slurred.
"Yes."
Whoa. That almost sounded like
And I turned straight into
Josh.
****
I could not friggin' believe it. Donna. Was. Here. At the embassy ball. (And it wasn't the champagne talkingor seeing, rather) Dancing with the slimiest scumbag ever to cross the Atlantic.
She hadn't met him when he came to my office and I was glad about that. He was slick down to the bone, but he was a gomer at heart. An evil, evil gomer. With a political cause that really wasn't all that important in comparison to educating several million American children- so you could say that I was kind of biased against the pompous son of a bitch.
I figured it could do no harm to go over and grab him for his meeting just a bit early of Sam's five minutes.
As I got close to them, I could smell the liquor. I, of course, assumed (rightly, I might add) that this interesting smell was emanting from him- Donna that plastered? Yeah, right- and also noticed, without a small degree of anger, that he was feeling up my assistant.
He was dead.
Dead.
She had a desperate look on her face, and seemed to be trying to get out of this weird shuffling waltz they were doing. My heart wrenched at the sight of it, and I thought I would topple over.
Oh, boy. This man was toast. Burnt. To a crisp.
"Ow!" I heard her say. This man caused Donna to cry out in pain. Icy calm maybe I could borrow Toby's bat. Or I could just break his face instead of his kneecaps"Could you like stop that please?"
"What, this?" the bastard said, practically drooling on her.
" Yes," I said, through clenched teeth.
Donna's head whipped around in surprise.
I grabbed his hand from (well, never mind on what part of Donna it was on- it wasn't supposed to be there) and pulled him away from her.
He relinquished his hold on her hand and she stood there in silence, her eyes moving back and forth from me to him.
"Mr. Lyman," he hissed at me. "Again you insult me."
"And I hope it will not be the last."
I have this slight problem. Call it an issue of foresight. I shoot my mouth off all the time and though it has caused some people to have violent impulses, the people I know never act on them.
Which is how I got sucker punched by a drunken Czech ambassador.
****
Josh fell backwards and hit the floor with a thud. Down and out. Cold.
I felt nauseous. Jan was grinning at me again and advanced toward me.
Fine. You want me? You got me, pal.
And I walked up to meet him, shoving a fist in his face.
That really, really really hurt. A lot. Majorly. They never show how much it hurts to do that in the movies. But, damn, if it didn't feel if I had broken every single bone in my hand.
It felt wonderful.
He reeled back, and blood started to spurt from his nose. He saw the red on his fingers, and fainted dead away.
Great. My first ball and I ended up injuring two men (albeit one indirectly) and causing a ruckus on the dance floor. This is probably why they don't normally invite me to these things.
I knelt down, and picked up Josh's head in my lap. I decided it would be useful if I applied some tactile stimuli to his face.
CJ and Sam ran over to where we were, as many of the dancers had cleared a little circle around us, and began asking after me and Josh.
"I'm fine, I'm fine," I kept repeating.
Josh groggily opened his eyes. "Where is he?"
"Over there," I motioned to the floor beside him.
"Did I get him?"
"No."
"I wouldn't piss her off in the future," cracked CJ. "She can throw a mean right hook."
"You! You knocked him out?" he said, still dazed. Whether from the punch or knowing that I kicked some Czech ass, I'm not sure which.
"Are you okay?" I asked.
"Nothing injuredbut my pride."
"And you're gonna have a hell of a shiner tomorrow," said Sam, helping me lift him back on his feet.
Leo came out of a back room somewhere and bellowed, "What the hell is going on?"
As Josh walked over to him, assisted by Sam I must add, Leo grimaced. " I knew it, I knew it. What did you do, Josh?"
"You should get a doctor."
"You've looked worse," Leo growled.
"No- for the ambassador."
"Oh dear God."
So as CJ got ice for Josh's face and Sam escorted him somewhere to cool off, Leo went about ordering people around to move the ambassador from the middle of the floor, I went in and much to my embarrassment, had to explain everything to the President.
"I thought you weren't even coming," he said finally.
"I probably shouldn't have," I replied glumly.
"No, no. It wasn't your fault. And it's one less jerk I have to meet with. Josh was right about the whole stupid thing anyway- Leo just gets hung up on diplomacy sometimes."
Leo then entered the room. "How's he doing?" asked the President.
"Well, Mr. President, it seems that the ambassador will be returning home with a broken nose."
Though I'm ashamed to admit it, after he said that, I thought: All riiiiight!
"He got what he deserved. Let's go offend some more people, shall we?" he said, picking up his papers, and being escorted out of the room by Secret Service.
Leo and me just kinda stood there looking at each other for a few minutes.
"Does your hand hurt?" he asked finally.
"Yes." For indeed, breaking a man's nose does put some wear and tear on the knuckles. Mine looked like they had been raked across a cheese grater.
"I think CJ has some extra ice"
"Leo, I am so sorry."
"It's not your fault. And though I would really like it to be, it isn't Josh's either," he sighed.
"If there's anything I can do"
"Go get some ice."
And when Leo uses that voice, you better do what he says otherwise, you could end up with a broken nose.
So I went off to find CJ and Sam and Josh.
****
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
I felt like shit. I felt like someone had run over my face with a Mack truck. Twice. Once going forward and then backing up.
"You are such a baby," CJ said.
Sam had left me to go witness the speech- for whatever results there may be. Quite frankly, I thought, after that display we already created this evening, what are a few little words gonna do?
Seriously.
Arroyo will be able to tell her fellow countrymen that the assistant to the Deputy Chief of Staff should not be trifled with and probably won't even listen to what the President has to say.
That could be a good thing- depending on whether you ask Toby or Sam.
"Hey, I'm injured! You could at least pretend to me nice to me," I said.
"Fine, Mr. Macho-Macho Man. D'ja know Donna broke his nose?"
"She broke his nose?" Oh dear. And to think, an hour ago I only needed to worry about the possibilities of Leo and CJ killing me. Now I get the pleasant thought that any day should I rub Donna the wrong way, she could belt me one and my profile is ruined forever.
"Yep."
"The press are gonna have a field day with that one," I observed.
"Yes, indeed, they are."
"Think there'll be like an earthquake or something later tonight?" A guy can only hope.
"Nope, I think the broken nose will be page one." She was frightfully calm about the whole thing. That's even more scary than when she's screaming bloody murder.
"Great. How is she?"
"Fine, I suppose. She seemed utterly calm about the whole thing."
"He wasgroping her, CJ." God, and it's just as painful to say as it was to witness.
"Yeah. He was out of line."
"Bastard," I mumbled through my ice.
"He got what he deserved- and that's what the press is gonna print, so help me."
"Good. Isis Leo pissed?"
"Honestly, I don't know. He sure seemed to be. But everything's gonna be fine."
"Yeah." I was not convinced. And she didn't seem all that certain either.
We sat in silence for a little bit, me dripping with melted ice and her contemplating the folds of her gown.
"Why was she even here in the first place?" I said angrily. "I thought she was out with, you know, Sergio"
"Sergio was a dog."
"I thought that only applied as ugly for women"
"No, a dog dog."
"A dog dog?"
"A very big dog, as I have the occasion to witness him."
"What?"
"Me and Toby rescu-er, intervened earlier to get her here."
" What?"
In my absolute horror, I failed to notice the door to the room slowly open and remained cracked, providing only a glimpse of black silk and blond hair.
"She was doing a favor for Margaret- and things got out of hand."
"That seems to be the theme for the night," I said wrily. I couldn't believe it- she had lied to me. Donna, my Donna, who I got a shiner for, she lied to me.
"It's not her fault, you know. If you would have only asked her, like prior to three days beforehand"
"You're saying this is all my fault?"
"I'm saying that if you had any sense at all, you would have asked her when you got the invite months ago. That you owed her that much. That if you don't stop acting like an asshole all the time, you're gonna lose her."
"How did I get to be the bad guy in this? I wasn't the one who lied, the one who broke his nose"
CJ got up in disgust. "Fine, Josh. Fine. It's not your fault." She hustled off to the door, skirts swinging angrily side to side. "You don't deserve her."
She flung the door open and who should be there but.
Donna.
Just before she ran away in tears.
****
I couldn't believe it. Out of all the things to happen tonight, all incredibly bad, this just had to be one of them.
Josh couldn't be more bitter or more angry at me. Oh, the love rays just spew forth, don't they, CJ?
He hates me now. He absolutely loathes me. I have made him look like a fool in front of his friends, his colleagues and his boss. Not to mention to all of the Phillippines.
And if that weren't bad enough, CJ spilled the beans about Sergio. Sam apparently did not take the trouble to bind her to the same oath to which I had enlisted him.
This was a nightmare.
I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get out- I had to leave. I rushed past CJ and was headed for the back door when I suddenly remembered that my car was still at Margaret's sister's house.
Damn it all to hell.
So, I double backed and hauled it to the front, hoping I could find a cab. When I got to the front door, the doorman was giving me an odd look. Geez, as if he's never seen a hysterical woman before.
So I decided I was much better off hailing my own cab and dashed down the embassy front steps.
It is very difficult to dash down steps in shoes that are three sizes too big for you. So I lost one and ended up carrying the other, continuing my mad dash down the street.
I stopped at the corner to catch my breath. No cabs. No friggin cabs anywhere.
I firmly resolved to write an inflammatory letter to the transportation department, and cursing, turned the corner to look down the side street.
No taxis in sight. Not a one. My feet were starting to hurt, I felt bad for losing one of CJ's shoes, and my dress was beginning to drag on the ground.
Not to mention the throbbing hand and the straggling hair and the broken heart.
Yeah. I was a mess. I bet if any cabs were out there to be had, that they wouldn't let me in for fear of their lives.
So I rounded another corner. And who should be coming out of the embassy back door but
Yep. You guessed it.
Josh.
I saw him and he saw me and we both proceeded to freak out. I ran in the opposite direction and he ran after me and I finally just stopped, standing by a streetlight and feeling so unbelievably tired that I thought I would fall flat on my face.
"Donna?"
I turned around to face him.
We just kind of stood there, looking at each other warily under the warm light.
Well, I sure as hell wasn't speaking first.
He glanced down at my hand, clutching CJ's black suede heel.
"Where's your other shoe?"
And this is where, I believe, you came in.
****
TBC.