So, once again I'm awake. I often wish that would stop happening, but there's only one thing I can do about that, and I sometimes decide to. Something always stops me though. Oh well. Maybe one day, it'll cease to happen on its own. Hopefully.
That would be ideal. Yes, because if I kill myself, I'd be breaking my promise to my Shishio-sama. I don't really want to live anymore though, so I often just sit and wish that one day, I simply cease to be.
I open my eyes slowly, trying to figure out the time of day before deciding whether to get up or not. Judging by the bright sunlight streaming through the open window above me, I figure I've awakened well after noon again. That's just fine with me. Maybe if I keep waking later and later, soon I won't wake at all...
Blinking my now wide open eyes, it hits me that the window is wide open, and it hadn't been when I went to sleep. Annoying, I hear that all too familiar rapping at my door.
"Kamatari-chan!!" the almost too cheerful voice bellowed. I cover my head with the pillow, as if he could somehow know be fooled into thinking I'm not here if I do so. Of course, he isn't.
"Kamatari-chan! I let you sleep in. You've been asleep for nearly an entire day, so I thought you might be sick, but you have to get up now. Let me in, please." I began to wonder if Chou had a key to my room. I was certain that the window was closed when I went to bed. If not Chou, maybe I'd been robbed while I lay unconscious? But a glance around the room quickly tells me that everything is where it should be. Once again, the irritating tapping starts.
"I know you're awake. Let me in. I've got your breakfast here." Why won't he leave me alone? I look at the door pitifully, willing it to explode out and push him away, then return to it's solid, rectangular shape, leaving me quite alone in silence. Looking at the window again, I realise that Chou -must- have been the one to open it. 'Perhaps he does have a key and he doesn't use it during my waking hours to respect my privacy?' I wonder to myself. I have to ask him.
Sighing, I remove the pillow completely from my face and sit up. With another deep sigh, I throw the pillow at the door. Not as effective as the vase had apparently been, the pillow just slumped there on the floor, unintimidating at all. I can still hear him breathing on the other side of the door, standing there waiting for me to answer.
"Why don't you just come in?" I ask, voice taking on a sarcastic tint. I hear a sharp intake of air from his side, he must have forgotten to close the window again while I was still asleep; he hadn't wanted me to know about the key. A clanking noise comes from the hall, I think he set down the tray containing my breakfast.
"I'm sorry, Kamatari-chan," he quietly said finally, after quite a long pause. "I'm so worried about you, though. I need to be able to get inside and make sure you're okay every so often. Please understand. I went out one day and found an expert locksmith. He measured the lock and made a key for me. I only use it on odd nights, when I come in to make sure you're okay. Last night I opened the window for you. You won't eat, but at least the crisp night air would do you a little good. I guess I forgot to close it, didn't I. I hope you aren't angry. I just...."
I stay silent during his little rant. He babbles it all out, hardly taking any breaths, but I can hear the fear that I'd be angry in his voice. I wait a little, hoping that he'll finish where he trailed off, but he never does.
I stand and walk over to the door, turning my back to it and leaning against it. "Chou-san...." I begin, not exactly sure what to say. I -am- angry. I shut myself in here to get away from everything. Anything or anyone that comes in here should always be under my exclusive consent. But, I also think, he was only looking out for me, something no one has ever done... no, something that only he has done. "I'm not angry. I suppose... I suppose that's very nice of you. Thank you for caring so much." Turning my eyes to the floor, I finish my statement and head back toward the bed.
"May I come in now? At least have a little breakfast?" He asks hopefully. I'm not hungry, and I tell him so. After a small moment of silence, I hear him pick up the little metal tray and walk off without another word.