Buffy stood outside the Magic Shop watching everyone inside. They were all there, and Buffy was so excited to talk to them, to hear all about what she'd missed, and to tell them all about where she'd been, but she couldn't bring herself to open the door.

She was terrified.

A thousand 'what ifs' ran through her mind. 'What if they are angry? They spent all that time getting over me, and here I come waltzing back like nothing happened? What if they've changed? What if they don't really need me anymore?'

She watched as Willow and Tara held hands and talked, sitting close. Their books lay forgotten in front of them, seeing only each other's smiles. She watched as Giles rolled his eyes at something Anya said, while Xander tried to hide his laughter. She watched Dawn and Spike, sitting away from the group, talking intently. It looked as though Spike was confessing something to her sister, and whatever it was looked very painful. He wasn't crying, but he did look terribly ashamed.

Taking a deep breath, she steadied herself, trying to be strong as she entered the shop, back from the dead. The little bell on the front door jingled once, and Giles' automatic, "Sorry, we're closed." stopped dead mid-sentence.

"Hi, guys." All eyes were on her, as she stood at the door, unsure of what to do or say next. When the silence persisted, she tried again, "Mom told me to say 'hi' for her."

She looked from face to face, searching for a smile at her words, if not her presence, but saw only shock in the eyes of all her friends. Until she met Spike's eyes, where she saw dread.

As her warm hazel eyes met his cold blue ones, he emitted a high-pitched mirthless laugh, almost hysterical. He stood up from where he sat with Dawn and began to back away slowly. "I thought admitting you had a problem was the first step," He laughed again, but it seemed more pain filled than amused, "She's here again. I see her."

"Spike…" Willow began, so overwhelmed that her voice threatened to give out on her. "We see her, too."

Xander's large eyes and slack jaw didn't stop him from making a joke. "Great, he's contagious."

Giles also stood and went to where Buffy waited, placing a hand on her shoulder tentatively. "You're back," he stated simply. Then as if he realized how un-Watcher-like his statement was, he began again. "How exactly did this come about?" He couldn't hide the joy as it leaked out in the form of a tear, down his face. He pulled her into a hug, not waiting for her answer, then turned to the group that stood behind him. "She's back."

With that, everyone began to talk at once, everyone wanting their hug and her story. Dawn had run to where her sister stood after Giles' astute observation, and demanded a hug before and after everyone else's. She was still clinging to her sister's arm when she remembered Spike and what her sister's appearance must be doing to his psyche.

Before she had the chance to turn and ask him how he was, they all heard the distinct sound of a body falling to the ground. They all turned to find a very unconscious Spike, who had fainted from shock.

"That happens a lot in here." Anya stated calmly.

***

About twelve hours later, Buffy sat with Spike, who was still unconscious, in his crypt. They had brought him here the night before when they couldn't wake him, then stayed to catch up. She had spent the entire night talking with the gang, hearing everything about the past two months, from Giles' custody of Dawn, to Spike's recent problem. The whole time, Dawn had refused to be more than a foot away from her sister, and Buffy would not be the one to complain. But as sunrise came and went, one by one, the Scoobies left, going home to bed. Eventually, Giles forced Dawn to leave with him, understanding that Buffy wanted to talk to Spike alone. Everyone understood that surprisingly well. More than even she did.

She went over everything the Powers had shown her, as well as everything the gang had told her, about Spike's denial and anger over her death. She thought about everything he had done for her and Dawn in the last year. And she thought about all the times he showed her he loved her, and she refused to see.

But she was beginning to see.

She had seen how he had broken down at the sight of her body, but still had problems believing that a vampire could feel so deeply. He had told her that he could love her, that he *did* love her, even without a soul, and at first she hadn't believed at all. She told him it was obsession, that it wasn't real. But he had shown her how real it was when he was tortured by Glory, refusing to give up the Key, all for the love of her. She believed then, that he loved her, but figured it for some twisted vampire love, like what he shared with Drusilla. But again, he had shown how much he loved her by fighting for her and her sister until the very end. He'd been thrown from the scaffold trying to protect Dawn, and if that wasn't love, Buffy didn't know what was.

As she sat there, on the edge of the bier where he slept, she studied the fine lines of his face and thought about what he'd said to her on the last night of her life. 'I know you'll never love me. I know I'm a monster, but you treat me like a man…' Only she didn't. She treated him like an ally, a warrior, sure, but never as a man. But, now, she saw that his strength and his loyalty came from his heart, a heart she was beginning to think was anything but dead. The heart of a man, not a monster. And he wasn't a monster. Not anymore, not in her eyes.

And now, after this latest bout of denial, she couldn't help but see the love he felt for her. How could it all be a ploy if she was dead and gone? How could he be plotting to turn against her and her friends if he was locked away, alone in his crypt, alone in a fantasy world with only her in it?

How could he love her so much, and her never see it?

***

Buffy was still thinking all of these confusing thoughts and feeling things she wasn't sure of when the bleached vampire finally stirred two hours later. He rolled over onto his back, rubbing his eyes, and looking like a little boy who slept in too late on Sunday. When his eyes finally opened and he saw Buffy sitting next to him, looking anxious, he simply snorted and rolled his eyes.

"I've had about enough of you." He turned his back to her and went searching for his smokes. "I'm in no mood for disappointment today, love, so kindly piss off."

"What makes you think I'd disappoint you?" Buffy was confused by his action, thinking he would be glad to see her alive and alone with him.

Spike, on the other hand, felt nothing but frustration. He had accepted he needed help, so why was the stupid Dream Bint still bugging him? "Because, pet, it's always a disappointment. Why do you think I slept for three bloody days straight? No one's *that* tired!" He found his cigarettes and lit up as he spoke. "It was because I couldn't face the disappointment when I woke up and you were still dead. Just like you are now. So sod off and let me sleep in peace."

Buffy couldn't help the smile on her face. He thought he was dreaming. His mind evidently forgot to tell him about her return last night. "You aren't asleep, Spike, and this is no dream." She walked over to him, touched by how truly disappointed he seemed that he was dreaming again. She removed the lit cigarette from his lips with her right hand, and with her left pulled him into a deep kiss.

'Sure, fine, whatever,' the vampire thought, a little surprised. 'As long as she's here we might as well - ' He stopped mid-thought as something struck him. Her kiss was nothing like any of Dream Buffy's, because he had always controlled her kisses. He hadn't controlled anything about this kiss, including the fact that it was happening. Dream Buffy only kissed him when his mind commanded it, and he had been surprised at this one. He pulled back suddenly, shock on his face as he slowly remembered the events of the past evening. 'We see her, too.' Willow had said.

"Buffy?" His voice cracked, and he felt faint again as she nodded her head, still smiling broadly. The irony of the situation struck him, as did the intense feeling of déjà vu. He smiled back at her, remembering when she'd kissed him earlier that year, when he thought she was the robot. But this time, he refused to let her get away before he was finished kissing her.

Spike drew the Slayer back in and kissed her with all the passion and longing he'd felt for the past two months. When he pulled away, she was breathless and both of them were smiling ear to ear.

"You sure this isn't a dream, Slayer? It seems I've had this one before." He searched her eyes, but seeing only love reflected back at him through hazel, he couldn't help the tears that fell from his own eyes. A calm swept over him that he hadn't felt in years, and suddenly Spike felt only happiness and love; the anger and disappointment gone.

Brushing away the first tears the bleached vampire had shed since the night of her death, Buffy blinked back her own tears. "I'm sure, Spike. And even if it is; this time, the dream doesn't end."


THE END