Chapter Nine
I'm gonna tell you something you don't want to hear
You never listen when I talk
Maybe you'll listen when I walk
So I made up my mind and made a sandwich
And I didn't shed a tear
I gave you one last minute of my time
In this mess I left behind
You'll come home tonight
And turn on the light
Don't you be surprised to find
My little good-byes
I rubbed my head and looked around at my surroundings. I was expecting to see plain white walls, wooden floors, and Ned sleeping on the other side of the room. I was expecting an orderly to throw open the door any minute and say, "Checks." But instead I was in some house, and I was still too sleepy to remember why I was there.
"Look who finally woke up." I jumped at the sound of this sudden voice, whipping my head around to see who it belonged to. Fi sat at the counter in the kitchen, drumming her fingers on the table top. "What? No good morning?" she asked with a smirk.
I groaned and slid back into the bed. Now I remembered where I was and why I was here. "Where's Jack?" I wondered aloud.
"Upstairs," Fi replied, lifting her head upwards. "He's been listening to that damn song all morning!" she yelled. "And what is it that he's listening to?" she asked in a softer tone. "SheDaisy! I guess he's trying to show that he's just another teeny bopper…"
Are you really a teeny bopper if you're a fan of country music? I thought. I decided it would be best not to ask Fi. Instead, I fell back to the bed and pulled the covers up to my chin. It was a great attempt at giving myself a false sense of security. But sheets could never replace Panther.
"Goddamnit, I'm making myself pancakes now," Fi said, as though I really cared. I pulled the covers closer to myself. Who am I kidding? Without Panther, it was like I had lost everything—not just him. I had lost Fi. She changed. And if I kept letting her boss me around, I would lose my friends back at the institution, my sanity, and eventually… myself.
"You know what? I'm going to go get Jack," I said. So what if Fi didn't want him around? This was his house, after all. And he was clearly awake since I was hearing his music blasting from his stereo. He deserved to have some pancakes, too.
"Suit yourself," Fi said lazily.
I shoved the sheets aside and stood up. As I ascended the stairs one by one, the music grew louder until it filled my ears.
Empty hangers by the closet floor
Lipstick tube on the bathroom floor
Unpaid bills by the kitchen phone
I took the Beatles, left Billy Joel
My little good-byes
I'm sure you're sure I'll be back in just an hour or two
You'll tape a Hallmark to my door
They always said it better than you
And if ya wonderin' if you're gonna hear from me
Well take a real good look around boy
And it won't be hard to see
When you come home tonight
And turn on the light
Don't you be surprised to find
My little good-byes
Took your favorite Dodgers hat
Left the litter, but I took the cat
My little good-byes
Loaded up the TV in the back of my car
Have fun watching the VCR
My little good-byes
Little Good-byes, oh baby, little good-byes
I peeked into Jack's bedroom, which was covered wall-to-wall with posters of SheDaisy, but he wasn't there. That's weird, I thought. The stereo was in his room, after all. Then I saw a light coming from the hallway, and followed it. It looked like it might be the bathroom, and the door was open ajar. I pushed it open all the way, and suddenly the air was filled with a shrill scream. I almost didn't realize that it was mine.
"Oh my God… oh my God… oh my God…" I kept repeating, as I fell to the ground. Fi shuffled up the stairs and soon she was behind me, viewing the same scene that had caused me to scream only moments before. The scene of Jack, hanging from the curtain rod by a rope tied around his neck. Covered in blood. Dead.
"What an idiot," Fi commented. She walked away, and I still sat there, frozen. You killed him. Then I pulled my knees up to my chest and began to cry.
So cry to your mom and your sympathetic friends
And tell 'em how the story ends
My Little Good-byes
Took the hourglass left the sand
Now you got time on your hands
My little good-byes
Took the statue from Japan
Funny little Buddah man
My little good-byes
Changed my voice on the machine
Or there'll be little good-byes with every ring
My little good-byes
Left the pictures took the frames
Got the umbrella, here comes the rain
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Rain, yeah, yeah, yeah
Hey, yeah,yeah, yeah
Hey, yeah, yeah, yeah
Little Good-byes