Yes folks, it's time for another episode of "Anime in 12 Easy Steps!"
Konoko (whispering): But you don't know how many chapters this thing'll take!
Phelan gives her a tight-lipped glare, then looks back at the audience and smirks. Rubbing his foot across the floor of the Featureless White Room, he uncovers a little red button. Glancing back at his muse, the grin widens as he steps on the button. Konoko looks worried, and shifts her gaze around, only to look up as a whistling slowly builds in pitch and volume.
Konoko: Aw c'mon, not the anvil.
Phelan just stands there, smug as ever, while his muse keeps staring at the sky. The whistling has grown quite loud, but there is still no sign of any falling anvils. Finally, a dark form takes shape below Konoko, and she plummets into the plot hole that Phelan summoned.
Phelan: Heh, who needs anvils?
Turning back to the audience, Phelan pulls on a rope, opening a second hole in authorspace, this time on a wall. The five gundam pilots fall through, landing in a heap.
Phelan: So glad you could join us.
Duo: Aw, crap. I was about to go take a nap, too.
Phelan: Yeah, well I'm happy to see you to.
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing, Don't own Dirty Pair. (pouts) No animals were hurt during the making of this fic.
Alright, this time around we're going to explain anime expressions, and if we have enough time, we'll cover anything I might have missed in the last episode.
*****************
Phelan (voice-over): This time around, we'll be concentrating on the unusual expressions you may come across in an anime fic. The first one is the sweatdrop. Sounds pretty simple, an unusually large drop of, what else, sweat that appears on the side of a character's face, usually when another character asks a stupid question. Let's watch it in action:
Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei are standing atop a ridge overlooking a military facility near the coast. Relena's pink limo pulls up, and Relena climbs out, as Heero is about to discuss their plans.
Heero: We have to destroy that military factory before they finish building any more mobile dolls.
Relena (overhearing): Why can't you just talk to them and give peace a chance?
All five pilots sweatdrop as Relena asks a ridiculous question. Shaking their heads, Duo, Wufei and Trowa all nod to Heero. He turns, and whips out his ever-present pistol. Firing a warning shot mere inches from her head; he smiles as Relena flinches in reflex, causing her to loose her balance. She falls off the edge of the cliff, screaming Heero's name the whole way down.
Phelan (at the bottom of the cliff, with a video camera on his shoulder): Alright, lets keep going.
*****************
Phelan (back in the FWR): Okay, for this one, I had to lock Duo up in authorspace, and hide Wufei 'till the main event. This is another one of my favorites, the nosebleed. It is generally used when somebody witnesses a rather, erm, enticing situation, and they are embarrassed and blushing. This is almost exclusive to Wufei, though Quatre and Trowa have been known to suffer this unusual mishap. Since this generally happens when there is a member of the opposite sex in the area, I managed to pull some strings, just for your entertainment. Allow me to introduce Kei and Yuri, the infamous Dirty Pair!
Kei and Yuri both appear in a flash of light and smoke, as trumpets play and thunder rumbles.
Phelan (muttering): They always know how to make an entrance.
Kei and Yuri: By the way, it's LOVELY ANGELS, DAMMIT!!
Phelan (with two fists in his face): Sorry, sorry. Can we get back to the demonstration?
Kei and Yuri look at each other and shrug. The gundam pilots (minus Duo and Wufei) go goggle-eyed and begin to drool. Even Phelan is staring, though he's able to keep his many glances a bit more discrete, knowing full well their ability to cause chaos and destruction.
Heero (staring): Eghnf, vielb, waaaa, gerrr, huuwaa... (Stumbles, but stays standing)
Quatre (staring): freow, geh, nniicce... (Faints)
Trowa (pulling his bang out of the way to stare): gahh, erp, wshew... (Faints)
Phelan: ....
Konoko reappears, and whomps Phelan on the back of the head.
Konoko: Hentai! Didn't you want to show the nosebleed effect?
Phelan: Huh? Oh yeah! Where's Wufei?
Konoko: ARGH! Why do I even bother? Here!
Konoko drags Wufei out of a pocket of authorspace and sets him down in front of the Dirty P-er, Lovely Angels. He takes a look at them, turns to face Phelan, and goes completely pale. Turning back, he looks at the two women, blinks, and faints dead away.
Phelan: Geez, what's wrong with him? Konoko, wake him up.
Konoko: No way.
Grumbling, Phelan lightly slaps Wufei across the face while calling the pilot's name.
Phelan: *WHACK* WAKE UP, WUFEI! *WHACK* WAKE UP! Crud, he's out of it. Kei, Yuri, can you snap him out of it?
The two trouble consultants walk over and kneel beside the comatose pilot. Yuri runs a hand across his forehead, while Kei bends over and begins to whisper in his ear. Instantly, Wufei's eyes snap open and he leaps to his feet, nearly throwing both women ten feet in his efforts. Half crazed, he shudders, then takes a deep breath.
Phelan: Need a tissue, Wuffie?
Wufei whirls around to face the joking author, his face covered in blood. Phelan tosses him a box of tissues, and Wufei madly stuffs the fluffy sheets into his nasal passages to staunch the flow of blood.
Phelan (whispering to Kei): What did you *say* to that poor guy?
Kei (blushing): Never you mind. Besides, we're finished here.
Phelan glowers, then waves his hands as the Lovely Angels vanish. Pulling out a vial of smelling salts, he rushes to wake up the sleeping pilots.
Quatre: Who were those women?
Phelan: Oh, just some friends.
Trowa: ....... ........ ....!
Phelan: Remember when I gave Catherine that gift? The original belongs to Yuri.
Heero: So that's where you got it.
Phelan: Yep. Now come on, we've still got work to do.
*****************
Phelan: Well, that took more time than I thought it would. We'd better hurry through the next one. The Facefault is an interesting one, where a person's face stretches beyond physical limits. Usually used in the same manner as a sweatdrop, but the facefault is a more universal expression.
Phelan flexes his author powers and brings back Duo, along with a massive pile of candy.
Duo: Hey! What's the big idea trapping me in that plot hole?!?! I oughta-
Dou sees the mountain of candy, and completely forgets about threatening the author with bodily harm. His eyes grow twice their size, his jaw threatens to break from the enormous smile on his face, and his tongue seems ready to hit the floor.
Duo: Food!!
Quatre, Heero, Wufei (still wiping away the last drops of blood), and Trowa all narrow their eyes to deadly slits, and their teeth begin to turn into fangs.
Duo: Hey? Where's the pixie stix?
The other pilots facefault as they hear this, as Phelan shrugs his shoulders and disappears.
******************
Phelan: I'd like to thank Jaya for this entry; I almost forgot about it! The one expression almost exclusively made for Quatre; the floodtears. In real life, when someone is upset, they cry a few tears, then get on with life. In anime, when someone gets upset, they cry in bucket loads, a near never-ending torrent of salty tears that can cause flash flood warnings up to five miles away.
Phelan, Heero, and Quatre are standing alone within the FWR. Quatre is holding a small songbird in his cupped hands. (Ack! Kawaii-ness alert!)
Phelan: Heero, if you please.
Heero: Hn.
Heero snatches the beautiful songbird and hurls it at the ground, then proceeds to jump on it. Quatre sputters for a second, then turns on the waterworks in a floodtears event. Within seconds, the FWR floor is covered in water several inches deep. Hoping to prevent his drowning, Phelan plunges his hand into the water and pulls out the body of the bird.
Phelan: Quatre. Hey, Quatre. YO, QUATRE!
Quatre (sniffles): What?
Phelan: It was only a robot. Look!
Quatre dries his eyes and looks at the "body." Sure enough, gears and springs are poking through the feathers, and as Phelan nudges it, the "bird" resumes its singing, out of tune and much slower.
Quatre (Zero Look, RUN!!): Why didn't you tell me it was a fake?
Phelan (signaling Heero to run): Well, we needed to show the audience what a floodtear looked like. I'm sorry, but it was the only way. (Cringes)
Quatre: Oh, okay. (Zero Look vanishes)
Phelan exhales in relief, and brings everybody back to stand in front of the audience.
Phelan: Well, we didn't get through everything I wanted to, but hey, that just means more chapters to this (looks around) chaos!
Konoko stands between the Lovely Angels and the Gundam pilots, holding a large mallet and daring anyone to pass. The pilots are too busy drooling and ogling to care, but at least they manage to control themselves. Kei and Yuri are waving at the audience (all the guys are fawning over the two women) and smiling.
Phelan (glaring at both audience and gundam pilots): Okay, you two'd better leave again, I doubt this gang will stay civil much longer.
As the pair vanishes again, Phelan takes center stage.
Phelan: Remember folks, Review!! Email me if you want to make any suggestions. clanmasakari@yahoo.com
I may even choose some lucky people to help me. Till next time!
Konoko (whispering): But you don't know how many chapters this thing'll take!
Phelan gives her a tight-lipped glare, then looks back at the audience and smirks. Rubbing his foot across the floor of the Featureless White Room, he uncovers a little red button. Glancing back at his muse, the grin widens as he steps on the button. Konoko looks worried, and shifts her gaze around, only to look up as a whistling slowly builds in pitch and volume.
Konoko: Aw c'mon, not the anvil.
Phelan just stands there, smug as ever, while his muse keeps staring at the sky. The whistling has grown quite loud, but there is still no sign of any falling anvils. Finally, a dark form takes shape below Konoko, and she plummets into the plot hole that Phelan summoned.
Phelan: Heh, who needs anvils?
Turning back to the audience, Phelan pulls on a rope, opening a second hole in authorspace, this time on a wall. The five gundam pilots fall through, landing in a heap.
Phelan: So glad you could join us.
Duo: Aw, crap. I was about to go take a nap, too.
Phelan: Yeah, well I'm happy to see you to.
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing, Don't own Dirty Pair. (pouts) No animals were hurt during the making of this fic.
Alright, this time around we're going to explain anime expressions, and if we have enough time, we'll cover anything I might have missed in the last episode.
*****************
Phelan (voice-over): This time around, we'll be concentrating on the unusual expressions you may come across in an anime fic. The first one is the sweatdrop. Sounds pretty simple, an unusually large drop of, what else, sweat that appears on the side of a character's face, usually when another character asks a stupid question. Let's watch it in action:
Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei are standing atop a ridge overlooking a military facility near the coast. Relena's pink limo pulls up, and Relena climbs out, as Heero is about to discuss their plans.
Heero: We have to destroy that military factory before they finish building any more mobile dolls.
Relena (overhearing): Why can't you just talk to them and give peace a chance?
All five pilots sweatdrop as Relena asks a ridiculous question. Shaking their heads, Duo, Wufei and Trowa all nod to Heero. He turns, and whips out his ever-present pistol. Firing a warning shot mere inches from her head; he smiles as Relena flinches in reflex, causing her to loose her balance. She falls off the edge of the cliff, screaming Heero's name the whole way down.
Phelan (at the bottom of the cliff, with a video camera on his shoulder): Alright, lets keep going.
*****************
Phelan (back in the FWR): Okay, for this one, I had to lock Duo up in authorspace, and hide Wufei 'till the main event. This is another one of my favorites, the nosebleed. It is generally used when somebody witnesses a rather, erm, enticing situation, and they are embarrassed and blushing. This is almost exclusive to Wufei, though Quatre and Trowa have been known to suffer this unusual mishap. Since this generally happens when there is a member of the opposite sex in the area, I managed to pull some strings, just for your entertainment. Allow me to introduce Kei and Yuri, the infamous Dirty Pair!
Kei and Yuri both appear in a flash of light and smoke, as trumpets play and thunder rumbles.
Phelan (muttering): They always know how to make an entrance.
Kei and Yuri: By the way, it's LOVELY ANGELS, DAMMIT!!
Phelan (with two fists in his face): Sorry, sorry. Can we get back to the demonstration?
Kei and Yuri look at each other and shrug. The gundam pilots (minus Duo and Wufei) go goggle-eyed and begin to drool. Even Phelan is staring, though he's able to keep his many glances a bit more discrete, knowing full well their ability to cause chaos and destruction.
Heero (staring): Eghnf, vielb, waaaa, gerrr, huuwaa... (Stumbles, but stays standing)
Quatre (staring): freow, geh, nniicce... (Faints)
Trowa (pulling his bang out of the way to stare): gahh, erp, wshew... (Faints)
Phelan: ....
Konoko reappears, and whomps Phelan on the back of the head.
Konoko: Hentai! Didn't you want to show the nosebleed effect?
Phelan: Huh? Oh yeah! Where's Wufei?
Konoko: ARGH! Why do I even bother? Here!
Konoko drags Wufei out of a pocket of authorspace and sets him down in front of the Dirty P-er, Lovely Angels. He takes a look at them, turns to face Phelan, and goes completely pale. Turning back, he looks at the two women, blinks, and faints dead away.
Phelan: Geez, what's wrong with him? Konoko, wake him up.
Konoko: No way.
Grumbling, Phelan lightly slaps Wufei across the face while calling the pilot's name.
Phelan: *WHACK* WAKE UP, WUFEI! *WHACK* WAKE UP! Crud, he's out of it. Kei, Yuri, can you snap him out of it?
The two trouble consultants walk over and kneel beside the comatose pilot. Yuri runs a hand across his forehead, while Kei bends over and begins to whisper in his ear. Instantly, Wufei's eyes snap open and he leaps to his feet, nearly throwing both women ten feet in his efforts. Half crazed, he shudders, then takes a deep breath.
Phelan: Need a tissue, Wuffie?
Wufei whirls around to face the joking author, his face covered in blood. Phelan tosses him a box of tissues, and Wufei madly stuffs the fluffy sheets into his nasal passages to staunch the flow of blood.
Phelan (whispering to Kei): What did you *say* to that poor guy?
Kei (blushing): Never you mind. Besides, we're finished here.
Phelan glowers, then waves his hands as the Lovely Angels vanish. Pulling out a vial of smelling salts, he rushes to wake up the sleeping pilots.
Quatre: Who were those women?
Phelan: Oh, just some friends.
Trowa: ....... ........ ....!
Phelan: Remember when I gave Catherine that gift? The original belongs to Yuri.
Heero: So that's where you got it.
Phelan: Yep. Now come on, we've still got work to do.
*****************
Phelan: Well, that took more time than I thought it would. We'd better hurry through the next one. The Facefault is an interesting one, where a person's face stretches beyond physical limits. Usually used in the same manner as a sweatdrop, but the facefault is a more universal expression.
Phelan flexes his author powers and brings back Duo, along with a massive pile of candy.
Duo: Hey! What's the big idea trapping me in that plot hole?!?! I oughta-
Dou sees the mountain of candy, and completely forgets about threatening the author with bodily harm. His eyes grow twice their size, his jaw threatens to break from the enormous smile on his face, and his tongue seems ready to hit the floor.
Duo: Food!!
Quatre, Heero, Wufei (still wiping away the last drops of blood), and Trowa all narrow their eyes to deadly slits, and their teeth begin to turn into fangs.
Duo: Hey? Where's the pixie stix?
The other pilots facefault as they hear this, as Phelan shrugs his shoulders and disappears.
******************
Phelan: I'd like to thank Jaya for this entry; I almost forgot about it! The one expression almost exclusively made for Quatre; the floodtears. In real life, when someone is upset, they cry a few tears, then get on with life. In anime, when someone gets upset, they cry in bucket loads, a near never-ending torrent of salty tears that can cause flash flood warnings up to five miles away.
Phelan, Heero, and Quatre are standing alone within the FWR. Quatre is holding a small songbird in his cupped hands. (Ack! Kawaii-ness alert!)
Phelan: Heero, if you please.
Heero: Hn.
Heero snatches the beautiful songbird and hurls it at the ground, then proceeds to jump on it. Quatre sputters for a second, then turns on the waterworks in a floodtears event. Within seconds, the FWR floor is covered in water several inches deep. Hoping to prevent his drowning, Phelan plunges his hand into the water and pulls out the body of the bird.
Phelan: Quatre. Hey, Quatre. YO, QUATRE!
Quatre (sniffles): What?
Phelan: It was only a robot. Look!
Quatre dries his eyes and looks at the "body." Sure enough, gears and springs are poking through the feathers, and as Phelan nudges it, the "bird" resumes its singing, out of tune and much slower.
Quatre (Zero Look, RUN!!): Why didn't you tell me it was a fake?
Phelan (signaling Heero to run): Well, we needed to show the audience what a floodtear looked like. I'm sorry, but it was the only way. (Cringes)
Quatre: Oh, okay. (Zero Look vanishes)
Phelan exhales in relief, and brings everybody back to stand in front of the audience.
Phelan: Well, we didn't get through everything I wanted to, but hey, that just means more chapters to this (looks around) chaos!
Konoko stands between the Lovely Angels and the Gundam pilots, holding a large mallet and daring anyone to pass. The pilots are too busy drooling and ogling to care, but at least they manage to control themselves. Kei and Yuri are waving at the audience (all the guys are fawning over the two women) and smiling.
Phelan (glaring at both audience and gundam pilots): Okay, you two'd better leave again, I doubt this gang will stay civil much longer.
As the pair vanishes again, Phelan takes center stage.
Phelan: Remember folks, Review!! Email me if you want to make any suggestions. clanmasakari@yahoo.com
I may even choose some lucky people to help me. Till next time!