The Perfect Match
(The bright red flash disappears and there is a huge blue and white hill in the middle of the Simpson's backyard)
Bart: What gives? Did Dad unleash some weirdo mountain or something?
Lisa: Uh, where is Dad?
Homer (sounding scared and distant): Hello? A little help here!
Marge: I think he's on the top of that hill!
(Bart, Lisa and Marge carrying Maggie scramble up the hill)
Marge: Hmm, this is is awfully swishy for a hill...
Lisa: ... And is it just me or is it... BREATHING??
Bart: Cool, a living mountain!
Lisa: But that can't be!
Marge (annoyingly enthusiastic): Well kids, we'll just have to get to the top of this!
(Bart and Lisa roll their eyes. They finally all reach the top and Homer is there, curled up in the fetal position and rocking back and forth making confused gibberish noises)
Marge: Homer, what's wrong?
Homer: Y-y-you can get a b-b-better view from up-p-p here.
Lisa (perplexed): Dad, what are you- AAHH!
(Bart, Marge and Maggie follow Lisa's gaze downwards and realize that is isn't a mountain, it's a big fat sleeping creature. And THEY'RE on its belly. Maggie's pacifier falls out of her gaping mouth silently)
Marge: Oh my Lord! What is this thing??
(The creature suddenly sits up, dropping the Simpson family to the ground. It stares at them as they back up against their house in fear)
Homer: Please Mr. Creature! Don't eat us! Especially me! I'm all skin and bones!
Lisa: Hey, it could be a Mrs. Creature. Or a Ms. Creature. Or-
Bart: Can it Lisa! It looks like it's gonna say something.
Creature: ...
(Simpsons lean forward in eager anticipation)
Creature: ... Snorlax.
Simpsons (confused): ... what?
Snorlax: Lax. Snorlax. (picks up Homer, rests him on his belly and goes back to sleep)
Homer: Okaaaaaay, this is getting too strange...
Lisa: I guess we can just call this thing a Snorlax.
Marge: Well, whatever we call it, that thing doesn't seem to be doing any harm. It's just, well, sleeping.
Bart (snickers): Yeah. Reminds me of you Dad.
Homer: Why you little...! (goes throttle Bart but realizes he can't from on top of a Snorlax belly) D'oh!
Lisa: Are ya coming down Dad?
Homer (like he's talking to a two year old): I don't think so honey. If Daddy gets off, Mr. Snorlax might get angry and do some bad things like stomp on Moe's Tavern.
Marge (not too happy with the decision): Hrrrrrm. Well, do you think you'll be okay up there?
Homer: Well, I could sure use a Duff. And maybe some Pork Rings. And how bout a couple of... you know, those things, with the stuff, and the other stuff?
Marge: Chicken quesadillas?
Homer: Bingo
Marge: I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere. (goes inside)
Homer: Hey, what did you guys get?
Lisa: What do you mean?
Homer: Well, I got this strange creature that doubles as a king size beanbag from that funny ball with my name on it. What about you guys?
Bart: Oh yeah! Let's find out! (presses button on his ball and a red flash yields a purple floating ghost.) Cool! I got a ghost! Wonder what it's name is.
Ghost: Haunter! (pulls a whoopee cushion out of thin air and hands it to Bart)
Bart: Alright! A ghost with style!
Haunter (gleefully): Haunter! (bounces up and down like a basketball then starts laughing hysterically)
Bart: (laughs) Hey Lisa! Open yours up!
Lisa: I dunno Bart...
Bart (shaking his head): Oh Lisa. Such a scaredy cat. *Tsk, tsk*
Lisa (determined): I'm not a scaredy cat! (presses button on her ball and a red flash appears. A yellow horse with flaming hair appears)
Bart: Whoa. It's one of the horses of the Apocalypse!
Homer: Bart! What did I tell you about Bible references?
Bart: Sorry.
Lisa: It's beautiful! (she pets the horse) And the fire doesn't even burn me! (notices a name tag around its neck) Hmm, it says here that this horse's name is Rapidash.
Bart (looking mischievious): Well, you can go out and take a 'rapid dash' on your flaming horsey, but me and Haunter have a lot of work to do.
Lisa (smirks): El Barto going back to plauge Chief Quimby?
Bart: And with my new partner too. Later! (runs out yard with Haunter in tow)
(Suddenly crashing and shouting noises heard from inside the house)
Lisa: Oh no! Mom! (picks up Maggie and runs inside house. She finds Marge in the kitchen...)
TO BE CONTINUED...