Of Christmas Pies
What happens when the four students most likely to cause disaster that Hogwarts has ever produced team up, and try and bake a pie? The disaster that is sure to occur can only be something to laugh at. Follow Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs in their most exciting adventure yet.
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After running for several blocks, Peter and Sirius, both winded, stopped to catch their breath.
"Well," Sirius panted out after a moment or two, "how much further until we have to get to the grocery?" Wiping sweat from his brow, he stared at Peter expectantly.
"Another block or so?" Peter managed to choke out. He wiped his forehead, and leaned up against a telephone pole. "For goodness' sake, Sirius, why do you keep forgetting to dress fully?" Sirius looked down, and seeing only his scarlet undergarments, he turned a matching shade.
"Whoops… I thought it felt a bit drafty…" Peter rolled his eyes, pulled his friend into a nearby alley, and handed him a wand.
"Sirius, just magic some pants onto yourself or something." Sirius thought a moment, and muttered a spell. He was now not only clad in a bright orange shirt, but also fancy black tuxedo pants. Handing the wand back to Peter, he shrugged.
"It'll have to do for now. Mum'll kill me if we're late for dinner."
"Yeah," Peter gave his friend a dry grin. "And we wouldn't want that, now would we?" Luckily, Sirius missed the sarcasm.
"I know. It would be perfectly horrible." By this time, both had caught their breath, and the two set off once more at a sprint, aiming for the next street.
After a while, the boys reached their destination, the market. Browsing through the different items, Sirius spoke.
"I wonder," he said, "why there are so many kinds and brands of Peanut Butter." Peter looked at him. Sirius began to explain. "I mean to say, I really love Peanut Butter, and the selection is great and all, but – why? I mean, which came first, chunky or smooth? And If smooth came first, who thought: 'Why not make Peanut Butter with peanut bits inside?' And if chunky did in fact come first, who thought: 'Why not take out the peanut bits?' And why are there so many different companies who like to make peanut butter? I mean, why not just have 'The Peanut Butter Company'? And while we're at it, why not 'The Yogurt Company' and 'The Pickle Company'?
"Another thing – is there really butter in Peanut Butter? And why jelly? Couldn't we just as easily have eaten Peanut Butter and corned beef? Or catsup?" He would most likely have gone on for quite some time, had Peter not have stopped him.
"Sirius, it'd take a long time to explain, and I haven't got that much breath or patience, so why don't you write a letter to a Peanut Butter company when we get home, alright?"
"Alright, Wormtail. But, which one? I mean, there are –"
"Sirius, just pick anyone."
"Oh alright then. But lets get some Peanut Butter while we're here, so I can get the address off of the back of a jar. I doubt that there is a wizarding Peanut Butter Company, and the Peanut Butter people would be very surprised to have my owl fly in through the window one day. Besides, he might eat all of their peanuts."
"Sure Sirius. We'll get some Peanut Butter."
"Great, thanks!" Eventually, they had three jars of peanut butter (Sirius couldn't decide on one brand), cherries, butter, food dye, and a pie pastry in their basket. Sirius would've insisted on making their own pastry from scratch, but Peter objected that it was dangerous enough that they were putting the cherries in one. There was no arguing to this, so Sirius agreed.
Waiting at the checkout line, Sirius nudged Peter in the side, and pointed to the girl at the register.
"Pretty, isn't she?"
"Sirius, your not going to –" Peter had a twisted sort of grin on his face, one that exactly matched his friend's.
"I think I will."
When the line had finally shortened, Peter and Sirius stood before the girl. She was dressed in the green and white uniform the shop required, and her nametag clearly read 'Eleanor'. As they handed her the items in their basket, Sirius started.
"Hello, Ellie. May I call you Ellie?"
"No. I hate it when people call me Ellie. I prefer Eleanor." The girl had light-brown hair, almost tan, and it would have fallen down to her mid back, had it not been tied back with a green and white ribbon, and she had gray eyes.
"Oh. Well, how's work going?" Peter said this. He couldn't help it.
"Not bad. Earning a decent pay."
"Really," Sirius remarked halfheartedly. "How'd you like to go dancing on, say, Friday night?" The girl looked up at him, startled.
"Er – I hate to be rude, but I don't even know your name."
"Oh, terribly sorry. I'm Sirius, Sirius Black, and this is my good friend Peter Pettegrew." She eyed them curiously for a moment, obviously contemplating something.
"Have we met? Your names sound awfully familiar." Our heroes were taken aback.
"I'm sure we haven't," said Peter. By now, the girl had completely foorgotten the items that she was supposed to be charging them for.
"But I know I've heard your names somewhere."
"Well," Peter started, "I would've remembered if I'd met you, trust me." She grinned, but didn't lose the contemplative look in her eyes.
"No, I believe I would've remembered two boys as good-looking as yourselves as well. But I know I've heard your names."
"I'm sorry, but I'm sure that –" She snapped her fingers.
"I knew it! I knew I'd heard of you two before! Tell me, do you know someone called Remus Lupin?" They stared at her a moment before Peter uttered:
"Yes. He's our friend from Hog– from school." Her face broke out into a wide grin.
"I should've guessed!"
"What?" She laughed.
"He's my cousin!" Sirius and Peter stared at her – Peter feeling like crawling into a hole, and Sirius mentally beating himself over the head with a fairly large stick. Finally,
"Eep." She laughed again.
"Wait until I tell him that one of his best friends – in an orange shirt, nonetheless – tried to ask me on a date!" Sirius and Peter simultaneously gulped. Both knew how sensitive Remus was about family. They'd heard him talk of his cousin Eleanor often, and she did indeed look a lot like him, but unfortionaltly, neither one had made the connection. And Remus knew what Sirius usually did on dates. If he found out, they'd never make it to the next day.
"Erm –" Peter said hurriedly, "Look at the time. We must be off. Have a good day. Good-bye!" Sirius dropped a few pounds on the countertop, Peter picked up the items in his bag, and both took off at such a speed they could have raced a unicorn and won.
Eleanor was left staring after the two boys.
"How very strange," she muttered to herself, "I wonder what on earth Remus could've seen in them." Shaking her head, she returned to her work, helping an elderly lady who seemed to be a bit annoyed with her wait.
Three blocks away, Sirius and Peter stood, once again, panting for breath. Finally, they looked at each other, and burst out laughing. They sat like that for several minutes, just laughing until they could hardly breathe. Finally, Sirius brought himself to his feet, wiped tears from his eyes, and, ignoring weird stares from passerby, he hauled Peter to his feet.
"Well, that was certainly an interesting predicament." Peter grinned, and replied.
"You can most definitely say that again."
"Let's just pray that she never tells Remus, no?"
"Yeah. Come on, let's get back to the apartment."
"Alright. You know, now that I think about it, they look alike… the same hair and eyes and all…"
"You're right. I wonder if her last name is Lupin."
"We'll have to ask Remus later." And the two set off down the road, heading back to their apartment, ingredients – and enough Peanut Butter for two months – in hand.
Author's Note ----- Lord, this story is writing itself, and quite honestly, it's scaring me.
Disclaimer ----- Anything related to the Harry Potter books that is mentioned belongs to J.K. Rowling. Everything and everyone else belongs to me.