Soldier's Return
Heero set his duffel bag on a chair and looked around as Relena led him into one of the lavish staterooms. The walls were adorned in a deep red with gold accents. On the white stone mantle of the fireplace were a pair of brass candlesticks and several fresh cut flower arrangements. At the foot of the four post bed was a wooden chest with an intricately carved lid. Thankfully, the only tings he really needed were right next to the bed: a desk, a lamp, and a chair. Relena smiled and shrugged her shoulders.
"It's a bit overdone, but then you have to consider the types of people that normally use these rooms."
"So long as there's a desk and a bed I'll be fine."
"Thought you'd say something like that. Well, you also have a private bath next to the closet there if you need to take a shower or whatever. I assume you'll want some clean clothes to wear."
Heero looked at her quizzically for a moment before he realized he was still wearing his dusty black jumpsuit. He probably looked like hell.
"Well, I'll leave you to get some rest or whatever else you need to do. We'll probably be heading back to the estate in an hour or two, so don't get too settled. And I'll try to get some clothes for you."
Relena started for the door, wanting to leave before she did something embarrassing like tackle him again.
"Relena?"
"Yes, Heero?"
He opened his mouth to say something, but put his hands in his pockets and looked down at the floor for a few seconds before bringing his gaze back up to meet hers.
"Thank you."
Relena smiled and cocked her head.
"Not at all! It's nice to have you around again."
With that, she left the room and closed the door behind her, leaving Heero alone with his thoughts.
*Thank you? Where did that come from? Why'd I say that? Because she did something nice for me, that's why.*
He frowned and grabbed his bag emptying his laptop and a small notebook onto the desk as he contemplated his situation.
*I can complete any mission with ruthless efficiency. I can pilot a mobile suit better than anyone, living or dead. I've survived self-detonation and mastered the ZERO system. All the things I can do and I can't understand her or my feelings. Why? Whenever she's near I act strangely. What is it I feel for her? Is it respect? Friendship? Could it even be...love? Hmph...that's what Duo would say, but what is it really? What's happening to me?*
Heero left that train of thought for another time and sat down at the desk. He needed to finish writing up his report on that new mobile suit, the Scorpio. He already had months of research typed up and now he just needed to add his findings on the combat abilities of the suit.
After twenty minutes of typing he finished the report. He'd outlined everything he knew in the thirty-odd page document: height, weight, armor type, weapons, manufacturing procedures, locations of assembly plants and raw material warehouses, and his combat evaluation. Heero also tacked on the few pictures, blueprints, and other images he'd been able to gather. All in all, he decided it wasn't too bad for nearly nine months of work.
Heero wheeled around at the sound of a door opening behind him and involuntarily reached for his gun. He relaxed just a bit when he saw Relena enter with a stack of clothes.
"These have been sitting in a cabinet in my office, so I don't know how good they're going to smell, but they're bound to be better than what you're wearing now."
She handed him a pair of slightly faded blue jeans and a black turtleneck. Heero looked them over and a realization came to him.
*They're mine.*
Heero glanced questioningly at Relena as he held the shirt out in front of him.
"Been expecting me?"
Relena's soft smile disappeared, replaced by a frown as her gaze hit the floor.
"Everyday for the past nine months."
Heero nearly dropped the shirt. Had he been drinking anything, he would have spit it across the room.
*Huh? How long? What the hell for?! Idiot...you know why.*
"You don't know how much we've missed you."
Her tear-filled eyes met his. She saw shock and a bit of disbelief hidden behind the Prussian blue.
"You don't know how much I have missed you."
Her heart and mind could take no more. She threw herself at him and latched onto his shoulders, closing her eyes and crying into his chest. Heero stood still and ever quiet. Unsure of what to do, he hesitantly put his arms around her shoulders, supporting her weight as she continued to cry. They stood together for nearly five minutes before Relena regained control of her emotions. Her tears now came in small trickles down her cheeks as she composed herself. Heero did not dare move or speak until she did.
"I'm sorry, Heero. It's just...I...I've missed you so much. I almost can't believe you're really standing here. Please tell me you're real. Tell me this isn't a dream. I couldn't bear waking up from it."
Heero searched for something to say. He rarely said much of anything to begin with. Trying to calm and comfort someone, let alone Relena, was way out of his realm of knowledge.
"I'm...here. I'm real."
It was all he could manage before his throat dried up. His chest was starting to tingle and his eyes began to sting. His hand brushed across his cheek as he felt something float across his face. When he looked at his fingers, he noticed they were wet. He wiped his face again with the same results. Heero stared at his hand, a puzzled expression on his face.
*What' this? Tears? I'm crying? No way. Why would I be crying? There's no reason for it. Damn it! What the hell is going on?*
Relena found the strength to stand without needing to be held up and took a step back from him. As she wiped at her own face, she noticed Heero's cheeks were also slightly damp. Despite her curiosity, she decided not to inquire.
"Well, I guess I'll leave you alone now."
Heero only nodded as she left again. As soon as the door closed, he practically ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. After examining his face, he decided Relena had guessed he'd been crying, though she was probably just as clueless as he as to why."
*Then again, she does understand feelings and emotions better than I do. Maybe she does know, even if I don't.*
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Outside his room, Relena was leaning back against the door, one arm fitted across her middle and the opposite hand covering her mouth. She was lost deep in thoughts of Heero.
*Was he actually crying? Does a perfect soldier even know how to cry? I must be fooling myself. Maybe he was just sweating or something. But he looked so...human. So perfectly normal. Maybe these past months he has been trying to figure out his emotions. Maybe he's not concealing them any more. Yes, that must be it! But why? What would cause him to cry?*
She continued to contemplate Heero's recent display of humanity as she ambled down the hallway to the elevators. She pressed the button to go down, but decided to take the stairs instead.
*We'll have to leave for home soon, but I...we can let him rest until then.*
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Back in the room, Heero was toweling himself dry after his shower. The hot water felt relaxing to his sore body. The past few months had not been very kind to him. He hadn't been able to eat or sleep on a regular schedule for more than ten days at a time. As soon as he settled down, his research would lead him to something new and he would have to pick up what few things he had and move again. Eventually, he decided to just stop taking everything with him. The only things he kept with him were his laptop, some clothes, and a handful of pictures. Those he kept to remind himself why he was doing what he was doing. Now, with all of his traveling, they were beginning to look old and worn.
Some of the pictures actually made him smile. He would even laugh at some, mostly those of Duo. Catherine had snapped a shot of Hilde yanking on Duo's braid. The look on his face was priceless. She had also taken one of Sally wearing an apron, frying pan in hand, chasing Wufei down a hall. He didn't know the whole story, but it had something to do with Wufei's criticism of Sally's cooking. Of course, there were others of Quatre, Trowa, Dorothy, Catherine, Lady Une, Zechs and Noin, though never just Zechs or Noin.
There was, however, one photo in particular that was worn more than the others. It was one that Catherine had taken to enter into a photo contest. She had really done a nice job. The picture was of Relena looking back over her shoulder in a crowd of people. The background had been done in black and white, but Relena was in full color. Her ruby red shoes, brilliant yellow dress, and honey gold hair really made Heero feel something deep inside. He would stare at the picture for hours, when he could afford the time, trying to figure out more about the girl...no, the woman looking back at him. He thought it might help him to learn who he was inside, or perhaps how he could manage to live in a world of peace.
Heero sighed softly and pulled on his shirt. So far, he hadn't gotten anywhere. The only thing he knew for certain was that he would have to change. He would have to adapt to the new world he lived in. There would be no more battles to occupy his time everyday. Wufei had been dead on. As much as he hated to admit it, Heero only knew himself through fighting and war. He knew he had to change that, but he didn't know how.
Relena would certainly help him, but he was still uneasy being around her. Until he knew where his life was going, it was probably best if he kept his distance. Duo could also teach him to live life in times if peace. Neither war nor peace seemed to make any difference to the jovial pilot. Of course, Duo would make a big deal out of it and that was the last thing Heero wanted. Perhaps he would ask Trowa. Trowa was a trusted friend. He could help and wouldn't think anything of it. That would be the best thing to do.
His course of action decided, Heero collapsed on the bed and promptly fell asleep.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gundam Wing. It is copyrighted by people who have a lot more money than I do. This was written for fun and for the fans of the series. All ideas concerning the storyline and new characters are mine.
NOTES: Things are getting a little more interesting, are they not? Lots of feeling and thinking here. About that picture of Relena. It's an actual picture that I have described. It's my favorite picture of her. Take a look at it by clicking here. Thanks to everyone who has been encouraging me with this. I had a bit of writers block, but thanks to StarLioness and her fanfic challenge, I was able to get things back on track for this story. Also, a special thanks to The Oracle At Delphi, aka Janai Yuy Winner. Your work is a great inspiration! So anyway, please keep reading and sending your comments...thanks!
Comments and criticisms are welcome. Please send them to HeeroWZero@hotmail.com and be sure to include your name so I can get back to you. Thanks for reading!